It Was Just A Fantasy

His look of lust was gone. It had been replaced by one of confusion. “What fantasy? We never talked about any fantasy.”

“You didn’t tell me, but I confess that I was naughty. I got onto your computer and read your stories.”

“What?” He looked shocked. Wonderful! I had taken him completely by surprise.

“I read the stories and figured you wouldn’t do anything about it so I gave you your fantasy.” I turned toward him and gave him my brightest smile. I could see him looking at the mess making its way down the inside of my thighs.

“How could you not talk with me about this?” There was an urgency in his voice. It wasn’t passion.

“You’re too nice to bring this up with me. I knew the only way your fantasy would ever be fulfilled would be if I did it for you. I would think you would show more appreciation for my initiative.”

“I can’t believe you did this without talking to me. What were you thinking?” His volume was rising.

“I told you. You weren’t going to ask so I had to do it on my own. Happy anniversary, honey.”

“It was just a fantasy. I had no intention of doing anything to make it happen. I would never have let it happen.”

“I know. That’s why I did it for you.”

“You don’t understand. I –”

“I do understand. That’s why I took the initiative. I love you so much I would do anything for you.”

“No. You don’t understan – ”

“Yes, I do,” I insisted. “Every night you would go down and read those stories and come up to me on fire. I just wanted to give you what you wanted but couldn’t tell me about.”

“It’s not what I wanted. You don’t – ”

“If it’s not what you wanted –”

“Shut up and listen.” That was as loud as he had ever spoken to me.

“Don’t take that tone with me. I really put myself out there for you. It took a lot for me to satisfy your secret desires.”

“That isn’t what I wanted. You don’t understand at all. My – ”

“Stop it,” I told him. “I understand. You don’t have to be embarassed about your desires, your fantasies. You don’t have to be defensive.”

I noticed that he had lost his erection. When had that happened? I noticed it as he started putting on his socks and his boxers.

“I’m trying to tell you –,” he said as he picked up his shirt.

“I’m telling you it’s okay honey. I understand and I still love you.” He put on his shirt and picked up his pants. This was not how I expected it to go. The clothing was supposed to come off, not on.

“You don’t understand at all. I’m trying –”

“Everything’s okay.” He fastened his pants. “ I’m not angry or upset. I –”

“Shut up and listen you stupid adulteress.” I had never heard him shout before. This was also the meanest thing he had ever said to me. It got my attention.

He pulled on his shoes. “It was just a fantasy. I never would have done anything or allowed anything to happen to make my fantasy a reality. That would have been unthinkable.”

“I just –”

“Shut up.” Forceful, but no longer yelling. He knelt down and started tying his shoes. “What you did was not my fantasy. You read the stories. In my fantasy, I’m the evil heartless prick who seduces married women, debauches them, gets them to betray their husbands, humiliates them and their husbands, destroys their marriages and walks away without the slightest regret. That’s my fantasy. Not being the guy whose wife totally betrays him.”

He said it with a measured voice that did not succeed in hiding his rage.

I tried to cover myself with my hands.

He walked out of the room and down the stairs. I heard the front door slam.