tagHumor & SatireIt's a Start

It's a Start


I was 27 the first time it happened to me. It was a bit traumatic and amazing at the same time. I guess you could say it was just like the first time I had sex. I'm talking about the first time a man convinced me I needed a dick in my ass. Oh it took some working up to do it.

I don't think he was very experienced in it either. No lube. No preamble. Just grunt, groan, poke and prod until he had it rammed into my ass. He did wear a condom. How considerate of him. I know. It hurt. I wanted to shit, or thought I needed to anyway. When he stopped trying to keeping ramming it and just let it simmer in me a bit. I relaxed.

The pain subsided somewhat. He began to move it in and out of my ass. I would think of anything but the fact I had a dick in my ass. His curtains. The sheets. Would I have to go to the doctor after this? I couldn't tell you how long it lasted. I do know that by the end, it wasn't near as bad as I had feared and I didn't crap on the condom.

I used his bathroom and cleaned myself up and drove the hour back home. He was a player. He played me. He fucked well. I needed sex. We had an agreement. I came over once or twice a week for us to please each other and I drove back home. I'm a woman. I had needs. They weren't being met until I met him.

My parents hated that time in my life. Could be because I was living with them after my divorce and they knew why I was out of the house. They didn't want to think their only daughter had sex. Shh. Don't tell anyone.

The next time I allowed him entry into the back nine, I prepared myself. I was young and naïve at 27 and didn't know about the powers of lubrication. But I did know to breathe and relax. Hell, I even think I may have had an orgasm from it. I don't really remember.

Not long after that we ended our relationship and I moved on to greener pastures. I think he may still be single. Here I am eight years later and happily married. I've even had anal sex with my husband on more than one occasion.

I found out about a year ago that every time I got drunk I would scream out "Fuck me in the ass." He would of course oblige my command.

Dick. Meet ass. It was a no brainer on his part. He'd seen plenty of pornos to know he wanted to bury it deep within my depths. I remember just how great and amazing it felt.

On one such occasion, I really threw caution to the wind and had him shove his dick in my ass and my vibrator in my pussy. I think I died and went to heaven that day. Shortly after that episode, I got up the courage to ask him to fuck me where I thought no man should be going again.

It hurt. I wanted to shit all over the place. I told him to take the damn thing out. It bugged me that it could be so enjoyable whilst I was three sheets to the wind but when I was stone cold sober, I couldn't enjoy it. It baffled me. I googled it. I came up with a few tips and tricks.

A good friend gave me the best advice: lubrication, lubrication, lubrication. He even suggested a good anal vibrator to use on myself and explore. He should be sainted for his advice.

The first night I got my new toy home, I just stared at it. Could I really put that pulsing purple probe in my own ass? I stripped all my clothes. I sat on the bed with lube in one hand, vibrator in the other.

I followed my friend's advice. I squirted the lube on the head of the purple passion pulsator. Then I squirted more and squirted a third time for good measure. As instructed, I lay on my side and pressed the vibrator to my anal opening.

One quick push and I wanted to shit. I only had that first bulb in me. I quickly grabbed the controller and turned it on vibrate. Ahh. That was much better.

I relaxed and moved it to the next level. I turned the dial up to the second level of vibration. I finally had it stuck all the way in my ass and had the vibe set to high. It felt calming and relaxing. It didn't take me too long to move my new favorite toy in and out of my ass and I came hard and fast very quickly. I couldn't wait to share my good news with Hubby. He came home and I showed him my new toy and the big bottle of lube. I told him I was ready for him to ram me in the ass again. He smiled.

I assumed the only rear-entry position I knew: doggie. I handed him the bottle of lube and told him to squirt. When he was done, I had him squirt more on my ass. Once I could feel it dripping onto the bed, I had him lube up his dick.

I told him to go nice and slow. He did. Wow. So this is how anal was supposed to feel like? How did I not know about lubrication before now? I'm well over 30 and shouldn't this have been introduced to me at birth or something?

Anal sex has since become a regular in my sex regime. Fast forward a few months. Another friend told me of one of his fantasies. He said he wanted to be fucked in the ass. A man? Wanting anal sex? Oh the shame! Oh the horror! Oh the holy hell that's fucking hot and God I wanna be that woman!

Ever since then I have fantasized about donning a strap on, lying on my back and having Hubby climb on top of me. I want to fuck his ass till cum shoots out his cock all over me.

There's a problem with my fantasy. Hubby doesn't want anything anywhere near his ass. I get all sorts of excuses from him—a lot of excuses. He has hemorrhoids. His stomach hurts. I keep waiting for him to tell me it's that time of the month.

We've talked about this fantasy of mine. A lot. I think he's afraid he may like it too much and then think he needs to butter his bread on the other side. I just smile and wait.

I think my months of begging—nicely, mind you—have paid off. I think he's secretly been lusting after my finger to break through his barrier and finger fuck his virgin ass.

I finally had my chance. He began by fucking my wet pussy. He tried to roll over on some gymnastic maneuver. I think he hoped for me to land on top so he could watch my tits bounce back and forth. That didn't happen. Rather than try to get into that position, he began stroking himself. I fingered myself.

I came all over my fingers. I licked it off. I dipped into the well of my love nectar and fed Hubby. He got up on his knees and presented his cock to my mouth. I love me some cock so of course I put it deep inside my hot lips.

With my head cocked—pun intended—at an odd angle I had to grab his ass cheeks to keep him in my mouth. He spread his legs farther for me. I circled his ass and waited for the right moment to go in for the kill.

He thrust his cock in my mouth and when he pulled it partway back out, I found my opportunity. I felt his ass tighten on my finger and I stopped thrusting. I remembered the first time I had a foreign object forced upon my back entry and waited for him to relax. You would think I would've remembered all those great tips provided to me by great friends about lubrication and such. It slipped my mind at the time.

I began to wonder how far I had to ram it inside to find his G-spot and if it would make him explode in my mouth or not. My fear of having him hate anal won out of my desire to dig for the G-spot. I instead allowed him to get it all worked up and shoot his load on my tits.

Oh well. It's a start. Next time I will remember the lube.

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