It's a Weird Life


It took a minute for my eyes to adjust as I walked from the bright sunlight into the darkness of the bar at the far end of the French Quarter. I enjoyed that part. It was just far enough away from the noisy bars that are filled only with tourists so that I could relax and enjoy a few drinks.

"Hey Ken. Your usual?"

"Sounds good Sally."

At last I could almost see enough to continue walking. I sat at the bar next to the only other person there, a nice looking woman.

"Want another?"

"Two's my limit."

"How many you've had?"


"Another for my new friend."

"Thanks Ken. Julie's my name."

It was obvious Julie was pretty far-gone and it wasn't even nine in the morning. Who was I to talk? I was also there before nine.

Sally sat our drinks in front of us. "Any new jobs?"

"None today."

"Glad to hear. Guess I'm safe for another day." She laughed as she walked away.

"What do you do?"

Through the excess drink, I started to realize that Julie's voice was probably as masculine as mine was feminine.

"I'm a hit man for the mob." I could hear Sally laugh even harder.

"Really?" Julie looked a little shocked.

"Nah. Just a joke between Sally and me."


She reached over and put her hand on mine, stroking my palm. "Nice hands."

I sat there just watching her fingers move over my palm for a moment before downing half my drink in a single gulp. My eyes traveled from her long brown hair past her attractive face down her nicely shaped breasts that were about to pop out of her blouse across her hip that was showing because her short skirt had ridden up far too much.

My hand now rested on her thigh, slowly sliding upwards.

"That feels good Ken, I don't want you to stop, but you may not like what's up there."

"Maybe it is just what I want."

She leaned over and kissed me. Her tongue pressed my lips open and I didn't resist. The kiss didn't last very long, just long enough to let each other know we both wanted more, a lot more.

Her hand rested on my thigh near the upper part. Her fingers were about to touch my crotch.

"You may be disappointed."


I whispered in her ear, "A pussy."

"You live near..."

"Just a stager away." I stood up and held her hand. As she attempted to stand, she almost fell off the barstool.

In the bright daylight on the deserted sidewalk, she pushed me against the brick wall of the building and her tongue slid across mine as her hand cupped the crotch of my jeans. I sucked her tongue further into my mouth, almost pulling it from its roots as she began to rub her hand firmly back and forth. I reached under her dress and grabbed what I knew was waiting for my hand.

She pulled her head back. "You like?"

"What did you find?" I quizzed.

"Something to put it in."

I pulled her hand like the handle on a wagon as I started walking towards my place.

Julie was in the bedroom before I locked the front door. I watched as the hem of the dress hovered just over her face before it landed on the other side of the bed. She was gorgeous with the face of an angel. Her breasts demanding to be held just as she was doing right now, her fingers twisting her nipples.

"Hope you're not going to just stand there fully dressed."

I sat on the edge of the bed doing nothing and looked at her for a moment.


"There's something I didn't tell you."

"Besides you're a woman living as a man? Hey we're just alike only I'm a guy living as a woman."

I pulled my pants down and slipped my prosthetic leg off and let it and my pants fall on the floor.

"Ken ... I don't have a damn problem about that." She reached over, grabbed my stump, and rubbed it. "So ... did you want to be this way?"

I stared at her with a puzzled look.

"You did, didn't you?"

I nodded my head as a tear formed in the corner of my eye. There were no more secrets left now and this was one I'd never told anybody. My hand rested on hers and moved both over the end of my stump.

"Listen Ken. We both felt we were stuck in the wrong gender, only you also felt you shouldn't have your leg."

"You understand?"

"My Mom and I have had this exact conversation for years."

"Your Mom?"

"Yup. Just like you."

Julie's cock was rock hard as it peeked above her slim smooth thighs. I reached over to hold it.

"Are you going to take the rest of those clothes off or do I have to take them off for you?"

I tossed my shirt and underwear on top of the clothes on the floor and then lay back on the bed. Julie lay next to me. Our lips met. Her hand lay over my chest, flat from a breast reduction. Her finger flipped my nipple back and forth as she kissed me before filling my mouth with her tongue.

My hand was wrapped around her cock. "Mind if I suck you?"

"I was hoping you would."

I kissed as I moved my face down her body, pausing just long enough to explore her breasts.

"Nice breasts."

"They're not so big."

"They're perfect."

They were too, just a little bigger than mine used to be. I kissed all over leaving them shinny with the remains of my wet kisses. Her nipples stood up and I saved them for last before heading further down her body. Now they were as wet as the rest of her breasts.

My hand cupped her scrotum. "Balls?"

"Silly isn't it?"

"I don't mind."

I fondled them as I took the first few inches of her prick in my mouth. My head bobbed up and down as I enjoyed the feel of it slide across my tongue, against the roof of my mouth, and over my lips.

"Oh Ken..."

"Just enjoy it."

Her fingers stroked the short hair on my head. "I am baby. Oh baby ... I am!" Other than some pleasing moans, she was quiet for a moment. "Don't be selfish. Move that pussy of yours around here."

I could feel a finger probing my labia, sliding up and down, pinching the fleshy lips, and never going very far inside them. Just lazily playing with everything down there.

"I like what you're doing."

"You're pretty. I wish I looked like this and could still have great sex."

"You could."

"I'm afraid."

"I know I never could have something as nice as your cock."

"Seems like we're an interesting match."

"I'm enjoying myself."

Julie's tongue dragged though me and rested against my clit. It didn't take her long to begin sucking it up and down like I was sucking her cock. A finger rubbed in and out of me and I was nearing an orgasm. My stump rubbed along side her face and her hand grasped the end of it.

"Fucking ... good..." I loudly moaned, unable to continue sucking her cock for a while until I could relax from my orgasm.

I turned so I could position myself over her cock and began pushing my pussy against it. "You mind?"

"Please." She paused, "Just so you know, I'm sterile."

"Me too."

She exploded as I slid down the shaft a fourth time. Her cum made her even slicker than my juices were. The erection lasted long enough for me to have another fantastic orgasm.

Still impaled, I lay on her and looked into her eyes. My hips wiggled a little making her cock move around in my pussy. I grinned.

"What a nice surprise Ken."

"Likewise Julie."

Our lips pressed forward just enough to touch. I rubbed my tongue across them once.

"You're staying hard."

"There's something nice wrapped around it."

"Hope you don't mind what's between my legs?"

"Not at all. After all I have the 'wrong' thing too."

Not showing any sign of softening, I left her cock inside me as I moved my hips and enjoyed the feel of it rubbing against different parts of my cunt. Holding onto her shoulders, I began working my hips up until just before her cock would fall free, then sliding back down with a thump onto her hips.

"I love the way you feel Ken. I love your pussy wrapped so tightly around my cock."

I continued, pausing for less time, moving my hips with greater speed. I watched her face scrunch up as her cock prepared to fill me with more cum.

"Fill me full Julie. Fill me now."

She did and it was flowing back out of me like a snow fed stream in spring. I left her inside me and I leaned forward, resting on her chest. We cuddled and drifted off to sleep.


Julie's cell phone woke us about 3:30 in the afternoon. It had flipped over to voice mail before she was awake enough to even start reaching for it.

"Just my Mom."

"You need to call back?"

"I should."

"Hey Mom. ... Going to stay with a new friend tonight. ... Someone you'll like. ... Bye."

"Hope that's okay?"

"Glad you want to."

"Up for some lunch?"

"Maybe some beignets?"


I stood naked holding onto the headboard for balance, my stump swung back and forth a few times. "You ever cross dress?"

"What?" Julie looked puzzled.

"Sometimes I dress as a woman. Mind if I put on a dress? I look okay, not great, as a woman."

Julie giggled as she held her cock.

"Yeah I know it sounds a little crazy."

"Not really Ken. To answer the question ... I have, not very often though. And no I wouldn't mind if you slipped on a dress. Hell, if you want to use crutches that would be fine too."

I pressed a finger inside my pussy and when I pulled it out, it was covered with her thick gooey cum. I held my finger in front of my mouth for a moment before I slid it into my mouth and licked it clean. I made a popping sound as I pulled it out. I held my clean finger in the air. "Good stuff." I grinned. I let go of the headboard and pulled my stump up with my hand. "And you don't mind about this?"

She reached out and wrapped both hands around it. "I play with my Mom's all the time. The rest of her too."


It was hard to tell who everyone was looking at, the good-looking Julie, or the bit chunky butch looking woman with one leg, with short hair, and in a dress. We sat at a table next to the railing by the sidewalk at the Cafe du Monde. As I sat, I rested my crutches against the square column behind our table.

"Am I embarrassing you?" I frowned.

Julie reached over and held my hand. "No way."

"I should have worn my wig."

"Listen I don't care. Just pay attention to me. Besides I like the way that stump is peeking at me."

The short white man with the white paper hat stood by the table with a tray of dirty cups and plates and just stared at us. Julie said, "Two Cafe Au Lait and an order of beignets with powered sugar." He walked away. She continued to hold my hand. "Great day." She gave my hand a light squeeze.

I didn't stop looking at her face. "I'm still turned on," I cooed.

"So am I."

"When we finish here, I want to stop at home and change, put on some shorts. I'm not good at looking like a woman anymore. I don't feel like one either."

"And maybe we can..."


The third and final beignet was begging to be eaten. I ripped it in half and held it to Julie's mouth. Her hand reached up and held mine as she took a bite. Her fingers slid along my hand and fingers as she took the rest of the half away.

"Even with powered sugar all over your face, I find you very handsome Ken."


Julie pulled my dress over my head. I almost lost my balance and fell against her. Her breasts were poking into my chest in a pleasant way. My hand slid down her back and rested over the cheek of her bottom.

"Nice ass."

"You say the sweetest things. Keep it up and I may let you fuck me."

"And I might want to fuck you too."

We pulled each other down onto the bed and laughed as we held the other close playing around like new lovers. Her erect cock rested at the opening of my pussy. I lifted my stump to the side and pressed against her hips until she was deep inside of me. Her hips jerked forward. I rolled her on top of me, her hips resting between my legs.

"Oh Ken, your cock fills my pussy so nicely."

"And your pussy feels so nice around it Julie."

We rocked back and forth not caring whose cock was in whose pussy. It just felt nice, the passion was wonderful, and so was the resulting orgasm we both had.


The evening was humid after the short rain during the late afternoon. Julie kicked at a puddle on the sidewalk splashing drops of water against the back of my bare leg.

"Hey!" I teased as I turned and looked at her.

"In those shorts you look like a hunk Ken. May have to beat some women off you tonight. You know I hear women really go for a guy with one leg on crutches."

"Can't think of anyone I'd rather have than you darling." I wiggled my stump at her.

Tonight the bar where we first met this morning wasn't as empty. Two guys at the bar stood up when they saw us, that is saw me on crutches. "Take our stools," one of them said. We did.

"Hey Ken! Usual?" John yelled over the noise of the crowd.

I held up two fingers and he nodded.

"That okay?" I asked Julie.

"As long as it's brown and has alcohol in it."

When John put the drinks in front of us, I laid a twenty on the bar. "Probably should bring two more."

We clinked our glasses together. "A great first day," I said with a smile.

"For sure," she said as she clinked them again.

John brought the new drinks and leaned on the bar. "Who's the good looker?"

Julie looked at John as I said, "Julie. And this is John."

"Nice to met you John." Julie held her hand out and John lifted it to his lips.

"Hope to be seeing a lot more of you."

Julie pulled the opening of her blouse more to the side revealing the whole breast for more than just a moment. "You mean more of me like this?" She smiled.

"Well Ken, if you get tired of Julie, just let me know."

"John, she's too special to let go of."

"Hey bartender!" a voice near the middle of the bar yelled.

"Pipe down!" John yelled back. "Maybe things will quiet down soon and we can talk again. Just a minute and I'll bring you another round on me."

We could hear John tell the other guy, "You don't need to do that stranger." He got up and left the bar.

I sat with my hand between Julie's legs holding onto a warm erection as I looked at the face I was quickly becoming attached to. My hand slowly slid up and down gently along the shaft, my thumb occasionally rubbing across the tightly stretched piece of skin on the head.

"Careful Ken. I may need to be taken to bed."

"What then?"

"Well let's see..." I squeezed tighter. "Oh yeah I remember now. You could fuck me all over that king sized mattress."

"Right answer."

A blonde with a blonde's body covered with a red dress that barely held her breasts in place leaned against the bar behind Julie. She looked at me between sips of her drink and strokes of the wet sides of the glass like she was bringing it to a hot orgasm. The glass sat alone on the bar, a small puddle of wetness at its bottom, while she fumbled with things in her purse. She picked up the drink and moved closer to me.

"If you need someone to help you ... with anything..." She handed me her card, her hand still damp from the moisture of the drink glass touched my stump, and then she walked towards the door, her hips flipped back and forth a few times.

We watched until she was gone, and then I held the card up so we both could read it. 'Sandy, Lover of male amputees' It had a local phone number.

"See, I told you some hot lady would be after you."

"She would have gotten a shock when she reached between my legs."

We both laughed.

"Where do they get bodies like that?" Julie asked.

John returned with two more drinks, the ones in front of us nearly empty. "Sure would like to chase that one around the bed a few times."

"I was just asking Ken what it takes to get a body like hers."

"Probably didn't get it at the dollar store. You two have a nice night." John walked away.


"Shut up bastard," she yelled at me. "Just lay there and let me suck your pussy."

My stump and leg were spread as wide as possible and she tried to pull them even further apart while she sucked hard on my clit. My hips humped her face in wild motions as my third orgasm waned.

"Don't stop now you bitch. Eat me more!" I demanded. She stopped. I lifted my hips up in the air trying to encourage her to start again. "Please," I begged.

She stopped and stroked her cock. "Maybe it's time for you to do something?"

"Not until you make me cum one more time!"

We were having fun and I was so turned on by the tone of our talk. I didn't wait for her to make me cum and twisted around so our faces were between the other's legs. Her cock almost reached the opening of my throat and my fingers tight around the base of the shaft making the head even larger. Just as I was, she was on fire. It didn't take that many sucks before my mouth was filled with her cum.

She pulled me around and on top of her. I lowered my hips onto her still hard cock and felt it slide inside of me. I rocked my hips slowly up and down as I lay on her chest, my lips tight against hers.

Exhausted, we cuddled against each other.

I rubbed my hand against her cheek. "I could love you."

"That would be easy for me to do."


"Mom, this is Ken."

"Hey Ken. Call me Joan."

We stood staring at each other. Joan, like me, was standing with crutches under her arms. Her frayed short cutoffs were not short enough to show the end of her missing leg. I wondered just how much was left. She was very attractive, tall, maybe my height, slim like Julie, probably in her late 40's. Her straw blonde hair was pulled back into a ponytail that ended near the middle of her back.

She was looking at me as well. "One leg?"

"Ken is like you Mom."

"You wanted..."

"Yes. As long as I can remember."

"Same for me." Joan cupped the end of her missing leg and it appeared to end very close to the hip.

"Julie said that you both had talked about this and how similar your feelings were to hers about her gender."

"The parallels seem so similar even if the cause may be different. Any gender issues for you?"

"Actually yes. I have a woman's body."

"The amputee thing seems more common in people that are gay or that have gender issues."

Julie stood closer to Joan and put her arm around her waist, then letting the other cup her crotch.


"Mom ... it's okay." Julie looked at me.

I looked around. "One bedroom?"

Joan smiled. "It's ours."


The three of us walked down the uneven pavement of the sidewalk along the old brick walls passed all the gates leading to romantic courtyards. We tried not to take up the whole width of the sidewalk, but with two of us on crutches it was hard. People would move to one side at times or we would. It felt nice to be with someone who had similar feelings, a new kind of thing. I'd never met anyone else like Joan.

"For three? Follow me."

The restaurant was dimly lit, a white tablecloth on each table, and the silverware was laid out rather than wrapped in a paper napkin. There were two forks in the place setting, a sign of a place that wasn't just a 'family restaurant'.

Our table was close to the wall covered in dark blood red wallpaper and Joan put our crutches on the floor next to it.

"May I put them in the closet?" the host asked.

"No." Joan simply said with a look that said 'don't even try to take them'.

I think he understood exactly what the look said and handed each of us an opened menu and then left.

"Thank you for taking us to dinner Ken. This is being fun."

"It is Joan. I was thinking about how different it feels being with you, that you know exactly how I feel about..."

"Right. I feel the same thing."

"How long for you?"

"About 15 years. The doctor that did Julie's first implants did it."

"I started being Julie when I was five. Dad left soon after that."

"I home schooled her so that she could. And you?"

"Ken began just after college and the leg about 5 years later. I'm not unhappy about either though I do wish I had a real man's body."

Joan put her hand over mine. "That would be nice." She lifted my hand and sucked my index finger.

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