It's Raining Men

"Oh, you thought you were so clever, didn't you? Strutting around, preening and mocking, thinking you knew everything...oh, I knew. You thought I didn't know, but I knew. You hated me, you laughed at me, but soon I'll be laughing. Oh, yes. I'll be the one laughing, not you! The way you looked at me, looked at me and laughed, but now I'll show you once and for all that--"

"I never laughed at you," Lori said. "Anna, did you laugh at George?"

"No!" Anna said. She didn't bother struggling in her chair. They'd both given up struggling about twenty minutes ago, when it became clear that there was no give to the leather straps. "In fact, George, I always thought you were a nice guy. I mean, kind of shy, but you kind of get to expect that, being a pretty girl working in the higher sciences."

"I know just what you mean," Lori said solemnly. "I'd actually rather date an intelligent man over some dimwitted pretty boy, but our colleagues always seem to be intimidated by my looks. It's really--"

"Don't lie to me!" George shrieked furiously, spittle flying from his lips. "I know you laughed, I saw you! The two of you together, looking over at me, whispering, giggling over some private joke...I saw it! With my own eyes, I saw it!"

Lori and Anna looked at each other in mild confusion. "Sorry, George," Anna said after a moment, "but when was this?"

"Three weeks ago," George said, clearly seeing the moment as if it were burned indelibly into his mind's eye. "The two of you, looking over at me, whispering, giggling, laughing at me! Oh, but you'll pay. I'll show you, and you'll pay. You'll beg me to forgive you, beg me! And then I'll be the one who's laughing! Ahahahahahahahahahahaha! Ahahahahahahaha! Ahahahahaha--"

"Wait, three weeks ago today?" Lori interrupted. "Because I was out of the office that day, attending that conference in Chicago."

"No, not three weeks ago today," George snapped. "Three weeks ago on...Monday. No, wait, it was a Tuesday. They had tacos in the cafeteria that day."

Anna stared into space for a moment, lost in thought. "Oh, right!" she said after a moment. Her body jerked in the straps as she reflexively tried to smack her own forehead. "I remember now! Oh, George, we weren't talking about you. We'd been out the previous night to see 'Avenue Q' together, and we were talking about it! You know how you have those Muppet action figures on your desk? We kept looking over, seeing them, and losing it all over again because they looked so much like the puppets in the play."

"Oh, God," Lori said, "that still kills me. 'The Internet is for porn!'" She giggled. "So fucking true."

George slammed his hand against a bank of controls. "Could you take me seriously for one second?" he shouted. "This is exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about! I've drugged you, kidnapped you, and strapped you down, and you're still just acting like I'm not even here! Okay, fine, you might not literally be laughing at me, but you're still making fun!"

Anna shrugged as best as she could. "Sorry, George, but you're just not the menacing type. You've got that 'cute' face, you know? Just a little rounding in the cheeks, a sort of snubby nose, and the hair is blond and curly. It's hard to be scared by a guy with blond, curly hair."

"Yeah," Lori said. "And the whole belly thing. I mean, don't get me wrong," she continued quickly, "it's not like you've got a huge gut or something, but you're not really lithe and sinister. And at 5'7", you need to be lithe and sinister if you want to pull off being menacing. Stocky, short guys just look like they're compensating for something."

"I am not compensating for anything!" George shouted furiously. "That's it! You have just proved to me that I made exactly the right decision by capturing you and forcing you to watch the culmination of my triumph! Oh, you mocked my height, my weight--"

"It wasn't mockery!" Lori pointed out indignantly. "I was just saying that you'd be better off adopting a persona that fit your physical attributes--"

"SHUT! UP!" George screamed. "I am about to perform the greatest act of scientific genius known to human existence! I would like five minutes to explain it!"

There was a long pause. "Well, sure," Anna said, after it became clear George expected a response. "All you needed to do was ask. You didn't even need the straps, really. We're both very interested in your work."

"Oh, I needed the straps," George said, grinning madly. "Because if you knew, if you knew what I was about to do to your feeble, pathetic minds, you'd try to stop me. You'd never let me throw this switch." He caressed the knob on the end of a large steel lever. "Because once I throw this switch, my Mentalizer Ray will override the wills of every human being on the face of the planet, making them all into my eager, willing servants! They will wish nothing more than to please me in every way, to obey my every command and unspoken thought! They..." He eyed the two women lasciviously. "...and you...will be my mindless, devoted slaves."

There was another long pause. Lori and Anna looked over at each other again, unsure of exactly what to say. "Um...probably a stupid question, George," Anna said, "but why did you go to all the trouble of kidnapping us if you were just going to throw that switch and make us slaves? I mean, what if you'd gotten caught?"

"It was worth the risk," George said, his hand now firmly clasping the lever. "I wanted the two of you to know that you would soon be my brainwashed servants, caressing my body and pleasuring me with your..." He blushed and mumbled something.

"Sorry," Lori said, "didn't quite catch that."

"Your, um...yourvaginas," George repeated as fast as he could. His face reddened further. "Anyway." He coughed. "I wanted you to know that I, the one you mocked, the one you laughed at, the one you derided and despised--"

"Really, George, we didn't--" the two women said almost in unison.

"Silence!" George shouted. "Doesn't matter! The point is, I wanted you to know that I would soon be the master of your very souls!" He cackled madly. "Now, tremble in fear, as I throw the final circuit!"

He slammed the lever home. The machinery hummed to life with an ominous thrum. "That's right, my beauties! Can you feel it? Can you feel my machine wiping your thoughts away, turning your defiance inexorably into blank obedience to my will? Can you feel your very self ebb under the irresistible force of my Mentalizer Ray?"

"Um," Anna said, "I don't think so."

"I might be," Lori said encouragingly. "What does it feel like?"

"I've never actually tried it myself," George said conversationally. "My brain patterns are shielded from the Ray. But I imagine it would feel sort of like--" He stopped short and glared at the two women. "Oh, FUCK!" he shouted as loudly as he could in the emptiness of the warehouse. "It doesn't fucking work! Oh, dammit, dammit, dammit..."

"Now, George," Anna said, "it might not be as bad as all that. I mean, it's clearly doing something, right?"

George practically trembled with rage. "Stop being sympathetic!" he shouted. "It's bad enough that the machine I spent the last ten years of my life working on doesn't fucking do anything without you being so...so nice about it!"

"We just don't want you to get so upset," Lori said. "I mean, setbacks are part of science. We know just how you're feeling right now. We've all gotten frustrated once or twice, and you know, you just have to pick yourself up and figure out what went wrong."

"But at least you didn't have an audience!" George shouted. "I mean, here I go, making the big speech before I pull the lever, going to all the trouble to kidnap an audience, and what happens? Nothing!" His eyes were watery, his lower lip trembling. "I must look like a total idiot right now."

"Well," Anna began, but her words were cut off by the sound of the warehouse door opening, followed by the sound of footsteps. After a moment, a policeman walked into the circle of light created by the machine's energies.

"Oh, hello, officer!" Lori said. "I'm so glad to see you! Look, one of our co-workers had a little bit of a funny turn, and put us in these chairs. I don't think we want to press charges, but could you just go ahead and let us out of--"

"I am yours to command, Master," the policeman said, dropping to his knees in front of George. His eyes were blank and glassy, and he reached out with trembling hands towards George's body.

George took a rapid step back. "Whoa, there," he said quickly. "Let's just...just stick to doing what I tell you for now, okay? Master doesn't swing that way, if you get what I mean." He paused, his jaw slowly dropping in astonishment as he realized what he'd just said. "Master...oh my sweet flying spaghetti monster, it actually fucking worked!" George let out a wild, exuberant whoop and began to dance a tiny little jig. "It worked! It worked it worked it worked it worked!"

"Still not doing anything to me," Anna said.

"Me neither," Lori said. "I feel a weird tingle in the back of my neck, but I think that's just a pinched nerve from sitting in this chair for so long."

"Oh, you have that too?" Anna asked. "Do you have that sort of weird not-quite-pins-and-needles thing in your thighs? Because that is really driving me crazy right now--" She noticed George staring at them. "What? It is!"

"You're right," George said. "If it worked on him, it should work on you. I wonder why it didn't?"

"Perhaps it's some sort of minimum range thing?" Lori asked. "Like we're too close to the machine to be hit with whatever kind of field it's generating?"

"No," George said, shaking his head. "I compensated for that, it's got multiple secondary transmitters in position at key points around the globe. You should always be in range of one no matter where you are--" He broke off abruptly. "Hey!" he snapped, a suspicious look on his face. "Why would you be helping me with this?"

"He's right, you know," Anna said reproachfully. "We really shouldn't be helping him figure out why it's not enslaving us."

"Sorry," Lori replied, shrugging as best as she could in the restraints. "I got caught up in the intellectual challenge."

George looked at them for a moment longer, then waved dismissively. "Doesn't matter," he said. "In fact, I think I kind of like the idea of the two of you retaining your free will. Just think about it, the two of you trapped in a world where every human being except you recognizes the genius of George Camden. You'll never have any friends, while I...I will have every man and woman in the world to keep me company. Some more than others, of course." He leered at them. "I might just make you watch. Gagged, naturally," he said as he saw them start to open their mouths to comment on the idea. "Yes, I like that. Making you witness night after night of my conquests, the most gorgeous women in the world begging to obey me, and you forced to watch it all, knowing that you'll never have sex again unless I choose to let you. Your willpower slowly eroding over days, weeks, months of sexual frustration until you beg me to fuck you of your own volition..."

He was interrupted by another arrival. This time, it was a bike messenger, pedaling to a halt inside the circle of light and getting off his bicycle. He walked towards George, saying, "I am yours to command, Master," and his lycra shorts left no doubt as to exactly what kinds of commands he wanted to hear.

"That's great," George said, pointing over to where the policeman was still kneeling. "Over there, okay?" He looked back to the two women, still strapped into the chair. "Any moment, now," he said. "Any moment, you'll see the nubile young women begin to find their way to me, their natural Master, and you'll see how eager they are to obey my every command. My every urge. I might even decide to stick it in their--" He blushed again. "Um."

"Their butts?" Lori supplied helpfully.

"Um. Yes. That." George coughed in embarrassment. "Anyway. The point is, it's only a matter of time before these men are joined by a harem of beautiful, sexy women to pleasure me like the ruler I am."

"Are you sure it works on women?" Anna asked thoughtfully.

"What?" George hissed.

"Well, I'm just saying, it didn't work on us, and it did work on these two guys...I was just wondering if you tested it out on women."

George crossed his arms defensively. "I tested it out on simulated brain patterns," he replied, "and it worked just fine, thank you very much. As these obedient slaves prove. Two people do not form a reliable baseline for data!"

"Whose simulated brain patterns did you use?" Lori asked.

"I, um..." George feigned casualness. "My own, of course." They looked at him. "Well, it's not exactly like I could go to someone else and say, 'Excuse me, could I just scan your brain patterns? It's so that I can build a mind-controlling device!'"

"It's not that we don't understand," Anna said, "it's just that you did just say that two people aren't a reliable baseline for data. And you calibrated the machine based off of just one person. It might be worth considering that there's some sort of fundamental difference in brain patterns between men and women, something you didn't account for--"

"I accounted for everything!" George shouted in a high, child-like voice. "I am a genius, and you two are just...just...sniping, that's what you're doing. You're sniping because you're jealous of my brilliance, and my audacity, and my ambition, and Oh, crap!" Two more men walked into the circle of light, both sporting obvious hard-ons.

"We are yours to command, Master," they said in unison, both of them unbuttoning their shirts and licking their lips in anticipation.

"Shirts! On!" George snapped out. "Go stand with the others." He glared back at Anna and Lori. "I know what you're thinking," he said, "but this doesn't prove anything."

"No," Lori replied reasonably, "but it does corroborate our theory. At this point, I'll agree that it's still too little data to provide an actual proof."

Anna frowned. "I don't think it'd be a proof. More of a law. Actually, George, you might get a really good paper out of this. 'Fundamental Differences In Male and Female Thought Patterns, and the Implications For Practical Mind Control'. I'd be happy to co-author, if you'd like."

"Laugh while you can!" George snarled.

"I wasn't laughing, I was seriously--"

"Laugh while you can!" George repeated, cutting Anna off. "You're wrong, I know it! You think I wouldn't know if I'd built a mind control device that only worked on men? Is that what you think?"

Anna and Lori looked at each other. "Yes," they said.

"You'll see!" George shouted. "You'll all see, when the nubile young women come crawling to me, begging for sex..." He broke off, a wide grin on his face at the sight of another person entering the circle of light. "Like that!" he crowed triumphantly, pointing to the new arrival.

She was slender, lithe, with the body of a gymnast under her red satin dress. Her lips were full and sensual, and she worked her tongue over them lasciviously before saying, "I am yours to command, Master," in husky tones.

"Hahahahaha!" George cackled. "Doesn't work on women, does it?" He beckoned to the lady in red. "Come over here, pet. Come over here and show these two exactly how well my device functions on your beautiful female brain."

The woman sauntered over to George on six-inch heels. She dropped to her knees and unzipped his fly, reaching into his pants and pulling out his already-stiffening cock. "Oh, Master," she whispered reverently. "It's so perfect..." With a gasp of ecstasy, she plunged her mouth onto his dick, swallowing the whole thing in a single stroke.

George bucked his hips into his new slave, fucking her face as he groaned in pleasure. "Oh, yes," he whimpered. "Oh, just like that, your mouth is so...so talented." She said nothing in reply, just bobbed her head up and down on his dick as she worked her hands over his balls.

Seemingly forgotten in George's haste to get his rocks off, Lori and Anna exchanged glances. They looked back over at the woman in red furiously sucking away at George's cock. Then they looked back at each other.

"You see the adam's apple, right?" Lori whispered.

Anna nodded. "But he seems so happy," she said helplessly. "Maybe it's for the best."

George shuddered once, then again as he shot his load down his new conquest's throat.

THE END