It's The Way You Look At Me Ch. 13

I leaned against Jamie as she smiled and made the turn off the main road to get to Bobby's house. We pulled into the driveway and parked. I slid out and gave Bobby a hug before he turned and stumbled to the door. The door opened and there stood Mary with her hands on her hips as he tried to look more sober than he was.

"I better go and talk with her," Jamie sighed. "She looks pretty pissed."

She slipped out of the truck and headed to the door to explain and try to lessen the trouble that Bobby was sure to get into for tonight. I watched Mary and Jamie laugh a little before she returned to the truck.

"Oh yeah," she giggled. "He's in for it in the morning."

"Poor Bobby," I laughed.

I barely remember Jamie getting me home and into bed. When I woke up the next morning I had a headache as I slipped out of bed and went to the medicine cabinet. Dad couldn't help but laugh as I rested my head in my hands at the kitchen table.

"I don't suppose you are going to run this morning are you?" he chuckled.

"I think I will pass dad," I sighed.

"Sounds like you guys had a good time last night," he offered.

"It was good to see the guys," I smiled. "Bobby is in trouble though."

"That's what Jamie told me," he chuckled.

"When did you see her?" I asked.

"Last night when she came in and woke me up. You needed some help getting to bed."

"Thanks dad," I smiled my smile.

"I ought to punish you like I used to do," he joked.

"I'll pass," I sighed. "Although I do want to thank you for that. You whipped my ass in shape and got me to where I am today."

He smiled. "I'm proud of you Owen. I wish your mom was here to see you now. She would be so proud of you and what you have made of yourself."

"Do you think she would be ok with me and Jamie?" I questioned.

He sighed and thought for a moment. "Honestly Owen, I think she would be. She loved you Owen and you could do no wrong in her eyes."

"Dad," I said. "I'm sorry I brought her into the middle of our fight that night when I broke the news to you. It was just the heat of the moment kind of thing."

"Don't be Owen," he smiled. "It's water under the bridge."

"Thanks dad."

"Do you know why I get so upset sometimes when we talk about her?" he asked.

"I can kind of guess," I offered.

"I loved your mom Owen. With all my heart I loved her. I can see the way you are with Jamie. You love her just like I loved your mom. I'm happy that you two found each other and made it with everything that was working against you in life. Despite how mad I got, I'm glad you stuck to your guns for her."

I nodded as he was going off on a tangent now.

"But...the thing I regret the most in my life was the not being there for either of you all the time. I missed out on so much of your life and her life. I regret not telling her more often how much I did love her and how much I appreciated her." He sighed as he paused to think now.

"She knew you loved her dad," I said confidently. "She told me all the time how much you loved her."

He smiled at me before he spoke again. "Sometimes I wish I would have gotten out of the military earlier in my life so I could have been home with you guys more. I always thought I would be able to make up for lost time with her. I never imagined life would take her from us."

"We all thought we would have more time with her dad," I offered.

"It hurts sometimes thinking about all the times I was away. How I could have had that time with her if I was home."

I glanced over at him as he sat there thinking. He didn't show a lot of emotions but I could tell he was hurting on the inside. Even after all this time, losing mom was still hurting him.

"Just make sure Owen...make sure you tell Jamie how much you do love her every day. You don't want to have regrets like I do. Some of them you can fix, some you can't. And this is one of those you can't. I did my best at the end but I feel like it wasn't enough sometimes."

"She was happy dad. Even at the end she was happy."

He nodded now. "Well, that's enough talk about this. It's starting to depress me again. Just make sure you tell Jamie how important she is to you."

"I already made that mistake," I sighed.

"Let that be a lesson then," he offered. "Don't let your stupid pride get in the way of your feelings."

"That's one lesson I learned the hard way," I smiled.

"Yeah," he chuckled a little.

"I ...ah...want to show her how much she means to me," I started. "Would you be opposed to me asking Jamie to marry me?"

He gave a soft smile before he spoke. "Shouldn't you be asking Uncle Buck if it's ok?"

"Given the situation, I think I need to ask you too," I offered. "We have been together for a long time now but it's still new for all of you guys. I don't want to cause another fight by asking if it's not ok first."

"It's your life and Jamie's life," he offered. "I'm just part of it. And I don't want to interfere with it in anyway. If you love that girl like I know you do then you shouldn't hesitate to ask her. But...I would ask her dad first. I know he's going to say yes but you still have to ask him."

"But you would be ok with it?" I asked.

"If you think it's the right thing to do then I don't have a problem with it," he offered.

"I do dad."

"Then you shouldn't hesitate to ask her," he smiled.

"Now I have to figure out when and where," I sighed.

"It will come to you Owen.

"Thanks for the advice dad," I offered. "I listen even if you think I don't."

"I know you do Owen."

"Alright," he sighed as he stood. "I have to meet Lisa for lunch then go meet Uncle Buck. Terry called me and needs a favor too so I'll be gone until dinner. I'll see you then."

"Have fun."

He left the house and headed off to make his rounds. I left the table and went to the couch to watch some TV and recover from last night. I was there for a few minutes when the door open and Jamie walked in.

"Hey baby," I smiled.

She smiled softly before handing me the envelope that we knew was due to arrive any day. I took it from her hand and looked at it.

"It's here already," I sighed.

"Yeah," she replied softly.

She sat next to me and looked over at me as she thought for a moment. "Would you think I'm crazy if I said I don't want to open it and find out the truth after all?"

"No," I said shaking my head. "If that's what you want. I said I would be there for you and back you up in whatever you decided."

"I don't want to know. What will it solve if I know? If it says he's not then what? What do I do then? I'd have to talk with her again and try to figure out who she was with and where they are. I don't want to go through that. Daddy has been my dad all my life so why change that now?"

"Then we don't open this," I offered. "We can put it away just in case or we can destroy it and not worry about it anymore."

"I wanted to prove something to her. To prove that daddy is my dad. But what is it going to prove really? I'm not ever going to talk to her again. Buck is my dad, always has been and he always will be."

"Then we leave it the way it is baby. We will tell them tonight that we don't want to know anymore. If he wants to know then he can look for himself. If not, then we throw it away and not worry about it anymore."

"Do you think he will read it if I don't?"

"Not a chance. He was willing to do this to put your mind at ease and because it's the right thing to do. I think he's happy not knowing and loving you just like he has always done. A piece of paper isn't going to change that one way or the other."

"Throw it away then."

"I'll do you one better," I offered. "Let me get a lighter and we can burn it."

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