I've Been Thinking

I've been thinking about you. The crushing force of your lips on mine.... Your tongue invading my mouth, penetrating me, plundering me ....the raggedness of your breath, tangy with pheromones, as your passion overtakes you.....the sharp thrill of pain as you grip my hair at it's roots....the abrasion of your stubble on the soft skin of my neck....the nip of your teeth above my collar bone.....the heat and the hardness of your erection straining inside your jeans, digging uncomfortably into my crotch.....the erotic song of you whispering my name....

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And I wriggle beneath the duvet in my empty bed, fingers gripping the sheet, telling myself to be patient, not to give in to my desire too soon. I close my eyes and let my imagination inflame me.

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Your hand roughly grabbing at my breast.....your fingers plucking at my hardened nipple, circling the pink, puckered flesh.....my legs wrapping around you, my body arching into yours in response....the primal growl in my ear awakening something animal in me.....the electricity crackling down my spine, the blood effervescing in my veins, the champagne giddiness you induce in me.....

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My toes curl at the thought as I lie here. The weight of the winter covers becomes the weight of your body. The eerie sounds of the building settling for the night could be the creaks of the bed as you shift yourself above me. I want you so I've made you almost tangible. It's a cruel trick I play on myself but what else can I do? This is how I punish myself. This is how I get off.

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Your strong hands taking possession of my body, maneuvering me into place....the fierce light of your gaze as it bores into me from behind.....the delicious discomfort of your impolite fingers digging into my ripened, sensitive flesh...the cadence of your insults, 'You cock-hungry slut; you dirty little whore' becoming filthy poetry on your lips....your soft, sweeping palm over my buttocks; the swift, stinging slap...the rushing blood; the reddening flesh....and the slight grunt of your exertion as your hand cracks down on me over and over again....

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I lie still, cultivating my arousal. I swell, I blossom, I bloom. I become soaking wet and irresistible to myself. My fingers move down to the centre of my need, sliding over the fabric of my underwear, teasing myself. The thought of you has flooded my cunt, engorged my clit, engulfed my senses so I am nothing but the feeling between my thighs. I grope the sheets next to me until my hand connects with something solid. A flick of a switch and the lude object springs to life, the familiar buzz provoking a Pavlovian response, a further kick of lust.

I run the head over the gusset of my knickers, my hips moving instinctively to rub myself against the vibrator. The movements are inveterate; the fight between my body's avarice for satiation and my conscious mind's awareness of how much better it will feel if I build up my desire. It's a game I play with myself, a game I win even when I lose.

An errant finger slips beneath the lace at the crotch of my underwear. Sneaking, searching, it slides inside me, a hot knife into butter, the sensation giving me a narcissistic thrill. I cant my hips, pushing myself onto my finger as the vibrator buzzes at my still covered clit. With barely controlled motions, hands shaking with anticipation, I ease my knickers down my thighs, wriggling out of them. Trembling, I part my swollen cunt lips and bring the pointed head of the vibrator to my tumid little bud. I move my index finger down to circle my hole, now brimming over with the evidence of my excitement. It's the thought of you that's done this to me, I don't want you to forget that. It's you that's got me this fucking wet. I push my finger inside myself and turn up the dial. The increased speed of the vibrations causing me to cry out and begin to finger myself in earnest. I move the vibrator faster over my clit as I fuck myself with my index finger. My thighs are spread wide now and I grind against my hand as it moves ever faster in and out of me. Again I increase the speed and it makes me writhe and moan as it relentlessly buzzes against my sensitive bud. I picture your face, the look you always get when you're getting close to orgasm and I can hear your voice, breathless and stilted calling me your little fuck toy, your filthy little whore. I push a second finger in as the pleasure begins to build. I'm fucking my own hand and the incessant sensation at my clit is causing me to shudder and writhe violently. I feel it rising, filling me, a tidal wave of pleasure. The tight muscles of my cunt suck and pull at my fingers as the orgasm fights its way out of my body. I'm screaming your name as I come, pushing my fingers into the contracting muscles as the waves engulf me. My body goes limp, my cunt fluttering around my fingers as the aftershocks tremor through me. I'm spread on the bed, wanton and defeated, wishing you could see me now.