Jack's Women Ch. 06

PUBLIC BETA

Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.

You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.

Click here

Two hours later, the girls all came back out with bags and bags full of things. I didn't even ask, hell I was completely out! I didn't wake up until we were almost back to the house, my head resting in Jade's lap, her fingers lovingly running through my hair. I opened my eyes and found her looking down at me lovingly. She bent down and placed a kiss on my forehead.

"I put you to bed when we get home. You need sleep." She said. Gina looked down at me from over the seat.

"Yeah. You look like you really need some sleep." She said. I gave her a weak smile.

"Put me in coach, I can do it." I said before drifting back to sleep. Last thing I heard was Gina and Jade laughing. Jade continued to run her fingers through my hair until we pulled up in front of the house. Even then, I didn't want to wake up. Jade just held my head in her lap, calmingly running her fingers through my hair.

When everything was off the bus and Jade and I were the last ones left, she roused me gently.

Please rate this story
The author would appreciate your feedback.
  • COMMENTS
Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Post as:
Anonymous
9 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousabout 11 years ago
applause

Plainly awesome

toolman4243toolman4243about 13 years ago
Grammar and spelling ?

Geeez the guys pumpin out a damn good story here, for free and all you can do is complain about grammar and spelling? If it's that important to you get off your fat ass and contact him and ask to edit for him then. I would rather have a few grammar and spelling mistakes to get these chapters faster than wait for a edit. Keep up the good work!!!!!

ScifiantScifiantabout 13 years ago
Grammar and spelling...

I really like the story and want to read more, however there are some grammar and spelling issues that are like fingernails on a chalkboard.

"You're" is a contraction of you are - as in "you're writing a very good story. "Your" is the possessive of "you" - ie This is your story.

Also, don't mix up "then" and "than" - ie It is not " more then" it is more THAN, or less THAN; or it is IF this THEN that.

LustinTranslationLustinTranslationabout 13 years agoAuthor
Thanks!

Thanks for all your comments throughout these chapters. I have been toying with a few ideas as for the direction of the story. I've got one more chapter that's ready for upload and then I need to start writing again.

The pregnancy is a possibility and there definitely will be something about retribution for Darrel, but as of yet, just ideas, nothing solid.

Thanks again! And I will be looking into getting an editor for this, I know my mistakes are getting on some of your nerves. Sorry, I'm a work in progress as are my stories.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
Keep it coming,

I like the story, flow. Keep in mind that having that many women, spending money in one place, will attract attention. Also, you never mentioned security.

Show More
Share this Story

READ MORE OF THIS SERIES

Similar Stories

Compulsions Ch. 01 His powers lead to sexual adventures.in Mind Control
Alan Alan has a strange encounter with a dying man.in Mind Control
Strip Poker: Five Girls, One Guy Game with girlfriend and friends gets out of hand.in Group Sex
Path of the Necromancer Ch. 01 Ian is hunted and meets the women who will change his life.in Sci-Fi & Fantasy
Telepath King Ch. 01 Tom becomes a Telepath and realizes his potential.in Mind Control
More Stories