Hyper Jae: Ho Depot

Story Info
Jae meets a nice boy in the garden center.
7.7k words
4.07
36.8k
16

Part 3 of the 6 part series

Updated 08/31/2017
Created 05/25/2015
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***

Sarkopheros Says:

By now I've put out a good number of stories focusing on straight sex. We're taking a different tack today! Instead of writing a tale of straight erotic drivel, this is a tale of gay male erotic drivel.

As with other Jae stories, hentai physics are in full effect. I do not understand things like "basic human physiology," "common sense," or "reality." The point is this: the story is entirely unrealistic.

"Well, Sarkopheros, I'm not exactly planning to cite your work in my MD thesis," you're saying—though let me know if you do. You know those people that will read a menu, order a cheeseburger, then complain to the waiter that there's cheese on it? Those people keep reading my stories.

One thing you should know about Jae's stories is that they're half kink, half comedy. This story will feature hyper-caliber cocks and balls—over five feet worth of the former and hundreds of pounds of the latter. There will be ludicrous cum inflation, seminal deluges, and emphasis on sexual scents.

Please keep in mind that Jae is pansexual. He will be mentioning previous dalliances with genders that are not male. Non-male characters will be present, even though they don't have anything to do with the actual sex.

Please enjoy the buttsex!

PS: A special thanks to the mods of Literotica for putting up with me continually piling an ever-growing stack of sequoia-sized dicks on their websites. Especially the hapless Literotica mods who have to sit through my writing. Thank you for everything you guys do.

***

"Nate? Nate!" he hollered. His heels clicked against polished concrete as he walked between metal shelves full of boxed fan kits. After another turn, he walked past racks of hammers and saws, sundress flowing behind him. Withdrawing his phone from his purse, he dialed his older brother again.

"What's going on, Tommy?" asked his younger brother, putting his hands in the pockets of his jeans. His practical sneakers squeaked against the smooth floor.

"The idiot's still not answering. He told me to go find the PVC, and I found it, but he never told me what diameter to get," grumbled Tommy. There was a faint chirping on the edge of his hearing. "Hold up. Do you hear that, Amel?"

"That's Nate's phone!"

The two boys hustled down the alley towards the plumbing fixtures. The fresh scent of lumber was in the air, the whine of a distant saw in their ears.

That's when they found the ringing's epicenter and stopped to gape.

Their brother was lying above a hot tub, stark naked. The boy was groaning, on top of what looked like an enormous muffin of flesh whose top rose five feet above the lip of the tub.

"N-Nate?" asked Tommy. That was when he realized that the "muffin" was his brother's belly, the bottom part stuffed into the hot tub. The round, peachy-colored ass was perked up, and a brilliant white arc was gushing out of it, splattering into a second display tub which was overflowing.

"What happened to you? Ugh, what's that smell? It smells like...." Amel frowned and scooped up a double-handful of the goopy white fluid. It was very hot, like yogurt in thickness, and it reeked of sex. He tentatively licked at it. "Cum?" Amel wrinkled his face up and tossed it back into the tub. He looked up at Nate and shoved his stomach. "Dude!"

His brother's only response was a groan. He was unable to move due to how gigantic his belly had grown. The whole area smelled like an orgy. Cum was rolling down display mirrors. A massive, quivering water-balloon of flesh six feet across was wobbling against a display cabinet. It took Amel a moment to realize that the "balloon" was the belly of another victim who was occluded by it.

Squeak. Squeak. A flatbed cart went rolling by. One of the store employees was on it. That shockingly swollen stomach was so bloated it was engulfing most of the flatbed and hanging over the sides. Wait, no, that's a futa, not a girl. The employee's cock was squirting her own pearly contribution all over her distended stomach. The only reason Amel could even identify her as an employee was because the orange apron still hanging from her neck, dangling in front of the cart as she laid atop her stomach. Jizz gushed from her cunt and ass, splattering against concrete, leaving a broad white swath in her wake. She groaned.

Squeak. Squeak. The cart bumped into a shelf and the futa toppled over. She bounced away on her belly, spraying a gout of cum from her gaping holes, and rolled down the aisle and out of view. Amel heard her yell, "God dammit!"

Amel turned towards Tommy. "Hey, how is it possible that this is all cum, I mean—" He squinted at his brother.

Tommy was standing near the hot tub full of cum. He froze, hands midway to his mouth, and stared at Amel. White goop rolled down his forearms and chin, and his belly was swollen enough under the dress to look several months pregnant. "Um ... yes. Yes, this is very cum. I know science. I watch CSI."

Amel shook his head. "This wouldn't have happened at Lowe's."

***

Jae stood by his cart, leaning against the shelving as his cock deflated. The five-foot-plus behemoth dripped fist-sized blobs of spunk to the floor as it shrank. It pulsed in time with his heart, the wrist-thick veins along its sides throbbing. His titanic nuts hung well past his knees.

Reaching down, Jae yanked on a bright piece of cloth sticking out of one of the folds in his sack. Skllshhh. A purple, spunk-soaked pair of panties came out. He dropped it on the floor with a splat. "How the hell does that even happen?" he asked no one.

One of the store employees walked by the end of the aisle. Jae made eye contact with him. The guy pointed and said, "Hey, sir, you really should get a lumber cart for that much wood."

"What? Oh, thanks," Jae chuckled. The guy left.

Another minute, and the he was flaccid, the glans hooded in its foreskin and dangling near the floor. He bent over, reaching up under his nuts to get to the tab of the zipper on his custom pants. Squish. Squilsch. His hands mucked through an inch-thick coating of jizz as they guided his beach-ball sized nuts back under the black cloth. Zzzziip. He pulled the tab up halfway before using both hands to wrestle his flaccid, yard-long cock back under the cloth. It was hard to do one-handed with the sheer size and weight of the slippery organ. Like his nuts, it was covered in a thick layer of spunk that squished and splattered all over the floor and his boots. His strong hands guided the melon-sized glans back in, and after a moment, he grunted and managed to zip up.

Jae re-buckled his metallic skull belt-buckle and readjusted his leather vest. Coarse fingers brushed raven-black hair out of his face. It draped down about his broad, spike-studded shoulders. Finally, Jae reached into his vest and returned the red-tinted shades to his face. Looking down at himself, he decided he was somewhat presentable, even though jizz was all over his boots and legs and he probably reeked like a brothel.

He wheeled his cart towards the paint section. He came across two girls having an animated conversation.

"...Yeah, so, I was like. Bam! Hydralisks everywhere. They walked right into it," said the shorter redhead.

"And you wonder why I'm so paranoid about having detectors follow my groups," said the slender brunette.

"Yeah, and then you just huddle behind your photon cannons anyway."

That was when they noticed Jae and turned towards him. He leaned an elbow against his cart.

"Holy shit, I didn't know we sold equipment that heavy," quipped the shorter one.

"If you came looking for condoms, sir, the 55 gallon trash bags are in aisle 16," offered the brunette. Slap! The girls high-fived.

Jae rolled his eyes before chuckling. "Yeah, okay, 55 gallons? I can pop one of those easily. Trust me, I've done it."

The redhead furrowed her brow. "You used a trash bag as a condom?"

"I don't know, dude, the girl asked."

The brunette shook her head. "What the fuck kind of kink is that? Yes, hello, please fuck me with a garbage bag, trashcock."

The loudspeaker echoed. "Cleanup in plumbing. Code white. Someone let him into the store again. Why do you people keep doing that? Please stop."

"How much can you cum, anyway?" asked the shorter one. "Your nutsack's like a beanbag chair."

"Depends how long you rub my balls before I cum," he answered.

"So did you need help, sir?" asked the brunette.

"Wait, you look Korean," observed the redhead.

"I am."

"Okay, so, are siege tanks offensive or defensive?"

Jae shook his head. "What?"

The brunette threw her arms in the air. "Starcraft!"

"Dude, do you know how bad I am at video games?" asked Jae. "I can barely control one character."

"Oh," muttered the redhead. She looked disappointed.

"What did you need?" asked the brunette.

"Sandpaper."

"An aisle down, look on your left."

"Thanks."

Ten minutes later, Jae walked out through the sliding doors into the garden center. He had to hold the shopping cart at almost arm's length due to the sheer bulk of his gigantic package, bouncing and slapping his thighs much to the bemusement of the customers. Several men covered their wives' eyes, although one of them started bouncing up and down in delight. Nearby, Jae watched as a futa's cock tented her orange skirt. Her boyfriend draped the rope he was carrying over it. She glared at him.

A brown-haired boy approached Jae. "Sir, the giant logs are that way," he said, pointing towards a display marked "GIANT LOGS." Several giant logs were stacked behind the sign.

"I don't know why I'm surprised to see those," sighed Jae.

A bright orange tent moved into the corner of Jae's vision. The futa and her boyfriend passed nearby. "Where did you get a tool that big? What aisle do I go to?" she cooed.

"Why does everyone keep making hardware puns to me?" Jae blurted out.

"What do you expect to happen in the hardware store bulging like that? Hardware dick jokes are like, the easiest ones to make," said the boyfriend.

"It's true." said the employee. "I mean, it's like. Sir, where did you get all that wood?"

"Gimme some white paint, baby," said the futa.

"Are you laying some pipe?" contributed her boyfriend.

"That's a mighty nice caulk, you got there," added the futa.

"Yeah, see? It's way too easy," said the employee.

Jae laughed. "Okay, wow. Anyway, where do you keep the weed-and-feed?"

The employee pointed. "Check down that aisle."

After another few minutes, Jae had his weed-and-feed in the cart. He walked towards the flowers and plants and saw something gorgeous; a tight, bouncing ass of a most inviting sort. It wiggled under the white boy's skin-tight leggings every step he took. Golden hair sprouted from his head, hanging to his chin. His skin was tanned a warm sandy color. Jae felt a stirring deep in his nuts.

When Jae got closer, he saw dark eyeliner about his eyes, and full, soft-looking lips. He leaned forward on the shopping cart, which was still between the two of them. "Sup, dude?"

The blonde boy looked up and smiled, his eyes rolling over Jae's angular jaw, the broad shoulders, the taut biceps. "Sup yourself, dude. Isn't leather a bit hot for this weather?"

Jae shrugged, looking down at his vest. "It's sleeveless," he offered.

"True. So what are you supposed to be, some kind of biker?" The boy pointed at Jae's head. "Going to play some hair metal? You're gonna need a lot more hairspray."

Jae chuckled. "I can go get my guitar and play you some, if you want."

"What if I don't like heavy metal?" asked the boy.

"If you ain't got the balls to take it, you can leave the hall!" Jae proclaimed.

The blonde looked legitimately confused, squinting at him. "Huh? What hall?"

"Sorry, I just thought of a song."

"I don't know that one."

Jae chortled. "Anyway, if you're not into metal. Then I'd ask what you what you're interested in hearing."

The boy considered Jae for a long moment, cool green eyes studying his face. "I'm interested in hearing about this dra-cane-uh right now. What do you know about gardening?"

"That's a dracaena. It's pronounced druh-see-nuh. And they grow well down here. They're strong. Hell, I have some at my house, you plant some cuttings, they'll grow like new," Jae said.

"Is this some ploy to get me to your place?" chuckled the blonde.

"Nah, I actually have a bunch of these in my yard," Jae said. "How much are they even charging for these?" he walked around the side of the cart, ludicrous package bouncing.

The boy's eyes became saucers when he saw. "Oh, Jesus Christ! What is that?!"

"What?" Jae looked down. "Oh. That's my junk."

"No. What? How can you be that big?" he gasped.

"Uh. I ... grew?" Jae offered.

"No shit." He came closer and put his soft hands on one of Jae's balls. "Holy shit." The twink sniffed at the air. "Wait, you smell like...."

"I just fucked a few people in plumbing," Jae answered.

"So that's what the announcement was about."

"Yeah."

"You just go around fucking random people in the store?" asked the white boy.

"If I get horny," clarified Jae.

"And how often is that?" the boy inquired with a raised eyebrow.

Jae touched his chin. "Well, I only fucked three girls and a boy yesterday while buying groceries. Then a futa in the pharmacy."

"Wow. You must have been feeling ill," quipped the blonde.

"I was kinda hung-over," admitted Jae.

"More like over-hung," muttered the boy. "Well, if you're such an exhibitionist, maybe you wouldn't mind showing me?" he asked. "Preferably not in the open, though?"

" 'Course I wouldn't mind." Jae took a look around before seeing the right place—one of those pre-fabricated tool sheds they always had on display. Jae wasn't sure how big it was, maybe ten-by-ten, but it would do the trick. "What about there? C'mon."

"Perfect," chuckled the blonde, that plush rump wiggling delightfully as he came along.

They parked their shopping carts at the side of the tool shed. Jae looked around before opening one of the wide doors. Clunk. His rough hand gripped a handful of the blonde's ass as they went inside.

The shed was quite balmy, and the light through the tiny windows was dim, but sufficient.

"I'm Ronnie, by the way," he offered.

"Jae," he answered. His death's head belt buckle jingled as he undid it.

Ronnie's tongue crept across his lips. He put a halting hand on Jae's. "Can I do it?"

Jae smirked and put his hands on his hips. "Sure, if you do yourself first," he rumbled.

"So brash," the twink chuckled before pulling his top up. Dainty fingers curled about the lower hem. He pulled the tight shirt up his body, exposing his softly toned stomach. Ronnie balled up the shirt and tossed it aside. There was another rumbling through Jae's enormous nuts. He could feel them starting to produce spunk.

"You look delicious," he purred, running his tongue over his teeth.

"Mm. I taste better than I look," replied the blonde, turning around and perking the twin cheeks of that toned bubble-butt up. Jae could see the generous bulge of Ronnie's package between.

The boy began to bend forward, sighing as he ran his hands down his thick thighs toward his ankles. That fleshy, gorgeous rear was on full display, bouncing up and down as he rolled his hips, undoing his shoes at the same time. He kicked his sneakers aside, putting his hands on the floor and bouncing his ass and a grapefruit-sized bulge up and down.

Chhrrrmmbbll. Gurgle! Jae's balls were definitely swelling. He could feel his pants tightening.

"What was that?" wondered Ronnie, standing back up so that he could peel those tight leggings off.

"When I get aroused, I make more cum," Jae explained, shaking his head and licking his lips.

"Sounds like I'd better get those pants off quick, then," cooed the boy. The leggings were peeled away, revealing a neatly trimmed golden patch. A fat organ the size of an energy drink can flopped out, a pair of tennis-ball-sized nuts swinging beneath. Ronnie made a growling noise and tossed his leggings aside. His smooth organ was already beginning to rise up, the head growing ruddy as he gazed at Jae. Sparkling beads of pre fell from its tip to the black flooring.

And now that glorious rump was exposed for him. Jae shook his head. "Damn," he mumbled.

Ronnie came towards him, swaying his hips. Emerald eyes locked on his in the dim shed. Outside, they could hear the echoing of the PA system making announcements. People carrying on conversations, walking outside. Squeaking shopping carts. The shed had a new-plasticky scent, but that was being overtaken rapidly.

Painted fingernails brushed up along the cloth. Moisture dripped from the turgid cock as it ground into Jae's titanic bulge, leaving damp trails along his pants. At a foot long, it would have been impressive had he been with someone else. Ronnie began kneading at Jae's fleshy balls, rubbing his insufficient hands over their vast surfaces, barely able to touch even a fraction of their sheer bulk. "So warm. I bet your sack is nice to curl up to on a cold day."

"That's what I hear," he chuckled.

Ronnie reached up to the top and began pulling the tab of Jae's zipper down. The teeth growled softly as they separated. White-frosted flesh bulged out almost like dough. Zzziiiip.... the zipper kept going down, and steadily, more and more cock was revealed. It squished softly with all the seed clinging to it. The boy let out a long sigh.

"There's just so much," he gasped, leaning forward to pull the zipper open all the way. "Your zipper goes all the way back to your taint?"

"Custom pants, figured I might as well make taking my junk out easy," he explained.

"Guess that's an issue for you, huh?" he asked before inhaling deeply. He closed his eyes, licked his lips, and drank in the sexual funk coming off the torso-sized flaccid cock. Then he pulled the zipper back all the way.

Flump! Jae's yard-long length of flaccid phallus slipped out, the head swinging like a pendulum, just above the rubber floor. Globs of spunk crawled down its surface before reaching the thick foreskin, dripping to Ronnie's feet and forming thick ropes. Bright green eyes widened in shock. Dainty figures pushed the dark cloth of his pants apart. An avalanche of flesh. Gigantic, fleshy watermelons rolled forward, slapping Jae's shins.

"Incredible," breathed Ronnie. The boy caressed its head, his hands immediately mired in the thick white goop. Jae sighed as his fingers slipped underneath the foreskin, feeling the fingernails gently scratching against the inside as the twink's hands vanished completely into the cock's shroud.

Ronnie frowned and pulled one of his hands out. Phlrsch. Thick ropes of spunk clung as he extracted a pair of leopard-print boxers. He squinted at Jae.

"Dammit. I thought I got all of them," he sighed.

"Does this happen to you a lot?" asked Ronnie.

"Yeah, kind of. I actually set up a lost-and-found in my house."

Ronnie chuckled and tossed the underwear against the wall. Splat! The thick jizz stuck them in place. He pushed his hands back under Jae's foreskin and began to rub the head-sized glans. The rumbling from Jae's nuts got louder as they began swelling noticeably. Ronnie grinned and leaned forward, pulling out handfuls of still-steaming spunk and bringing them to his mouth. He moaned as he cupped his hands together, slurping up all that gooey whiteness, lapping the hot gunk off his fingers. All the while, Jae's cock pulsed as it came to life, rising slowly from its spot laying against his gigantic nuts. Strands of white strung beneath the two as the organ rose toward Ronnie, its expansive size forcing him to shuffle backwards.