January 17th

I wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed but I helped her wherever I could. I learned bones, nerves, muscles and all the different parts of the body. We went over and over them day after day, night after night until Robin could recite them in her sleep. I refused to let her even think about getting a part time job. I told her that her schoolwork was her job and not to worry about anything but that. So I worked and worked some more to pay for everything.

By the middle of her junior year she was well on her way. She had straight A's and was second in her class.

"Who's number one?" I asked her one night. "I think I'll put a contract out on him or her," I said with a laugh. But she didn't laugh. She didn't laugh a lot anymore.

Our life was now a lot more serious and even our love life suffered. We never did it on whim anymore and she seemed to be withdrawing from me at times. I'd mention that we hadn't been close in a while but she'd just say it was because of the stress she was under. I knew she wasn't fooling around on me. Hell she didn't give herself time to breathe much less finding another lover.

It was the end of January and the forecast called for ten to twelve inches of snow and a deep freeze to follow. I stopped at the store and stocked up. Beer, Ripple wine, M & M's, eggs, bread, Bisquick and a bunch of B Movies. Our apartment had heat but it still got cold at night.

The wind blew. The snow fell, and the temperature dropped to twenty-two below zero. It was cold in our apartment and even though my parents asked us to come into the house we said we'd be ok.

I threw another quilt on the bed and we started watching a movie. A bottle of wine, some M & M's and we hunkered down together for the night.

"I'm sorry David," Robin said out of the blue.

"Sorry for what?" I replied.

"For everything. We haven't been close for a while and I feel I've been using you and I'm sorry."

"You haven't been using me, I love you. You're doing well in school and have a bright future. We can always have kids down the road," I told her.

"I think we should be practicing a lot more though," she said taking off her top and throwing it on the floor along with the rest of her clothes as she looked at me. "Starting tonight that all changes."

That was the best weekend of my life. The only time we left the bed was to get cleaned up or to do a food run to the kitchen. I ate her until she cried enough and we screwed until we both couldn't do it anymore. For the first time in a long time we talked about what happened and our life together. I didn't want the weekend to end. I was more in love with her at that moment than I'd ever been.

We made plans and plotted out where we wanted to be in five years. What's that saying? Men plan and God laughs. Well it must have been a big joke to him, because our plans never came true.

I didn't care much for her classmates. They all thought they were better than anyone else. There was a group of fourteen students that Robin hung with and there wasn't a one in the group I cared for. They had parties and get togethers and even though the girl/boyfriends were invited they didn't make it fun for them. They were a click and no one; I mean no one was going to break into the group.

There was a BBQ at one of the group's house on Saturday night. It was the usual affair and for once I was the only outsider and the night really dragged on. They talked shop and argued about this procedure or that and I was bored stiff. We were there almost four hours but it felt like twenty. There wasn't even a television to watch.

We didn't have words; I just mentioned that in the future I thought I'd pass on any future get togethers.

"You don't like my friends?" she asked.

"It's not that, it's just that when you're all talking shop I've got nothing to do. You're talking so far over my head there's nothing I can add. Babes you'd probably have a lot more fun without me anyway."

"You're not dumb David. It's just that you're good at other things. That's all. If you feel uncomfortable we won't go any more," Robin told me.

"No you go. They're your friends and classmates. You should go," I told her. And she did, without me, from that day forth. I worked overtime on those days and saved enough to get her a few extras we normally couldn't afford. For her birthday I got her a more dependable car and an upgraded her computer.

"You're way too good to me," Robin said to me that night. "I don't know where I'd be or what I'd do without you," she said kissing me.

Sex was great that night. It wasn't love making because she had a test to study for so it was a slam bam thank you mam type of session. She did great as always on her exam and she did make it up to me the following weekend.

The first time I heard it from one of her friends I let it slide. I was only after the twentieth or thirtieth time I started to paid attention to it, especially when I noticed Robin's attitude towards me start to change.

One night at a party I heard a conversation that changed my life and not for the better.

"What are you going to do with David when you start medical school in the fall?" one of her supposed friends asked. "You'll be going to school all day and studying all night. There will be no time for anything else. You know he's just going to hold you back Robin," they told her. "I heard that you've been accepted to that school in New York, does David know?"

"No I haven't told him yet," she told them.

"What is he going to do there? I don't think there's too many contracting jobs there," one of the guys said in a sarcastic voice.

"We'll manage like we always do," she replied but she didn't sound too convincing.

"I wondered when she planned on telling me," I thought to myself.

"I've been accepted to Taft Medical School in New York," she told me Saturday night over dinner. "If I can maintain my grades I'll get almost a full scholarship," she said beaming.

"Well I guess we'll have to buckle down even more this last semester," I told her trying to sound optimistic. "Will you be boarding in the dorm or are you going to get an apartment with some of your friends?" I asked taking her by surprise. "We'll probably have an extra $5000.00 by the time you leave. That should be enough money for fees and books to get you through the first two semesters anyway."

"You don't want to come with me?" she asked.

"What am I going to do in New York especially with you going to school full time. Remember we agreed that school was your job until you were done? Well, you're not done yet so we'll just have to put off everything a little while longer," I told her.

"I love you so much," she said kissing me.

"I hear you say that to all the contractors you go to bed with," I told her trying to laugh even though my gut was doing flip-flops.

It went good for a while and then the frequency of the calls became less and less. The e-mails all but stopped but I was optimistic. I think Robin tried. I think she really did, but everything was being stacked against us. I made sure I saw her every semester but with the bills and everything else it was tough. What really concerned me, was Robin was changing and pulling away from me.

When I didn't hear from Robin for almost three weeks I got on a plane. Something just wasn't right. I went to her apartment and then tracked her down to a party one of her classmates was throwing. I told the guy at the door I was looking for Robin and he said she was somewhere near the kitchen. I found her or should I say them.

Robin and another guy were trading tongues in a corner. The guy had his hands under her shirt and was almost between her legs. I wanted to go over there and rip the guy off her by his hair but now realized why Robin wasn't calling any more. My heart stopped, my feet wouldn't work and I just wanted to cry, but I didn't. One cell phone picture and I was out of there.

It was a lonely trip back to Minneapolis. I wanted to cry, scream, put my fist through a wall or beat the hell out of someone, maybe all of the above. She had pulled back and had changed to the point where I just didn't know her anymore.

I had been the person who didn't pull out in time, got her pregnant and should have been the one to insist that we went to the hospital right away. Because of that she'd gone through hell losing the baby and wasn't sure if she'd ever be able to have kids.

I felt responsible for everything bad that had happened to us, but I was tired and I just didn't have it inside me anymore. I couldn't go on like there was nothing wrong and from what I'd seen, if I hadn't been replaced yet I soon would be.

I filed the standard boilerplate divorce papers. Minnesota was a no fault state so I didn't even need her to sign the papers. I didn't tell either parents I just went ahead and did it. When Robin was served she must have called me a dozen times. When she e-mailed me asking if I'd lost it, I just replied with the cell phone picture and asked when I'd been replaced. She said I hadn't but at this point it no longer made a difference.

Both parents thought I'd gone off the deep end because I never gave them the real reason. I just said we'd grown apart and it was time for both of us to move on. Her parents lambasted me saying that I'd almost screwed up Robin's life and it was about time she got rid of me. I never liked them. My dad wanted to know the real reason and wouldn't let me off the hook until I showed him the picture. He still said I was a damn fool and that picture didn't mean squat but I was a big boy and could make my own decisions.

The only thing I knew was I had to leave and get as far away as I could. I ended up in Florida.

'******************

Robin was nervous as she knocked on the door.

"I need to talk to David, and he's not in our apartment or at work," she told my dad.

"Robin he's not here."

"Do you know when he'll be back?" she asked.

"Robin why in the hell are you here anyway? Are you short of money? What do you need this time?" he said in a now belligerent tone.

"I just need to talk to David, that all," she now said in a concerned tone.

"He's gone and not coming back. After he didn't hear from you, he flew up there to see you. He showed me the picture after I asked him why he was leaving all of a sudden."

"I want to explain to him. It's not what it looked like. I still love him and don't want a divorce. He's got to understand that," she said tearing up.

"He loved you so much Robin but he felt like you and your friends looked down on him for what he did for a living. Hell girl, he worked two jobs so you could go to school and not have to worry about where the money would come from but I guess that wasn't good enough for you. So what did you do? You never answered his calls, e-mails and when he finally found you, you were in the arms of another man. Do you have any idea how much that hurt him?"

"I didn't do anything with that guy and I sure as heck didn't sleep with him," she said now crying.

"Did you know that we cancelled our membership to the Elks Lodge? You dad was spewing his venom about how my loser son got his daughter pregnant and then divorced her. And how his baby girl was doing so well in medical school and was better off without a low life like David. Robin please just leave. The way I look at it, you used and took everything you could get out of my son and then dumped him for one of your college friends. You know the final irony? When he got back, he sold off everything that the two of you had and transferred every dime of that money and everything else he had in the world to your account. He left here with $125.00 in his pocket and my gas credit card in his wallet. Right now looking at you makes me sick. I hope you're happy and it was all worth it to you," he said shutting the door.

Robin now saw David's mom in the window mouthing the words, "call me,' before she left.

When Robin walked into her parent's house she had steam coming out of her ears.

"How's my little girl?" her father said as he came up to give his daughter a hug. He never saw the slap coming but sure felt the sting on his cheek.

"What the hell did you do?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" Ken replied.

"I just came from the Ward's house and was literally asked to leave. What have you been saying about David to everyone?" she shouted.

"Just that he got you pregnant and dumped you when you were in school. That's all. He never was good enough for you baby, you should be happy he's gone."

"I want you to listen and listen good. The only reason David left was he found me in the arms of another man. You hear that dad? I was the one screwing around on him. He was back here working two jobs so I could go to school and not worry about the money. Do you know that he either called or e-mailed me every day? I got annoyed and some times I didn't get back to him for almost a whole week. I guess I couldn't be bothered. After all, I was this hotshot girl in medical school who was living a new an exciting life in New York. How could David understand that I now thought I was even better than him?" I told my parents.

"But baby you must have been very busy with school and everything," my dad started to say.

"Too busy for my own husband? A husband who stuck by me through all the hard times we had. A husband who could have dumped me after we lost the baby and found out I might not be able to have kids in the future. Did he do that? No! He was the one who worked with me every night on my homework and pushed me to do get every A I got. David loved me enough to support me in my dream of becoming a doctor and if it took him working two jobs to make that happen; so be it. And how did your loving daughter repay his love? I spit in his face," I said sitting in a chair now crying as my two stunned parents looked on.

"God damn I miss him. I now realize how much I really loved him and I can't tell him because he left because of me. But there is something you're going to do dad if you ever want to see me again. You will get your ass to the Elks Lodge and tell them you were wrong about David and that your precious daughter was the one that fucked up. And then I want you on your hands and knees begging David's parent for forgiveness, you got that?"

And Ken did exactly that. He ate crow and told everyone he had been talking out his ass and that David really was one hell of a husband and that Robin was lucky to have him. But David was gone. Robin did call his mother like she'd requested.

"David's hurting really bad and doesn't want to talk to you. He said to tell you he wishes you the best and that maybe if things had been a little different you two might have made it. Sorry Robin," is all she said. She did however keep me updated on how his life was going and where he was living.

'**********************

Eighteen years later I got fucked again. I caught my wife fooling around with someone else and we're been separated for the last seven months. She now lives in our old house and I moved into my cottage by the beach we'd been renting out for the last three years.

I, or should I say the bank and I own, my own construction company and next week I will become a full-fledged licensed architect. I guess I wasn't so dumb after all. My soon to be ex-wife, Sandy, wants for us to try again but I just don't think I have anything left in me anymore.

We met and after a year got married. She worked for another firm I did a lot of business with and found we'd always end up together at this seminar or that one. Sandy was good, not great in bed and we had a lot in common. To tell you the truth, I think I was lonelier than really in love with Sandy. I worked all the time and she was always there and wanting to take me to bed. She thought I was a fool to go back to school and said I'd never make it. Guess I proved her wrong.

"David it's over, why can't you just forget about it and come home?" Sandy said for the umpteenth time. "I'm sorry it happened but it's not like I was screwing him every night," she told me. "It was only a couple of times and I was drunk half those times."

"I guess that made it all right," I said to myself.

So now I have a small but successful construction company in Jacksonville Florida. I will be divorced for the second time by the end of this year but at least I still have my pride for what ever that's worth. I dumped two cheating wives. Something in me must bring out the worst in women.

Every year the T.P.C. Golf Club held its charity auction. For the last three years I'd donated a set of house plans to the highest bidder. I usually did them myself so it didn't cost me anything more than a few hours of work. I'd done some really fancy homes in the last few years and had even won a few awards. I guess I wasn't as lame as everyone up North seemed to think I was. So Saturday night, looking extra fine with my tux on and with pictures of my best work displayed I stepped on stage. The M.C. gave this glowing speech about their local and world-renowned architect and what I'd be offering before opening up the bidding.

"For those who don't know me, my name is David Ward and I build custom homes. Sounds like the start of an AA meeting doesn't it," I said making a joke as I got more than a few laughs. "What I'm offering is a complete set of custom house plans that you can take to any builder. What I'd just like to remind you, it's for charity and tax deductable," I said with a smile. "We can do it on your time table and at either your home or my office," I told the crowd. "So as they say on television, let's get ready to rumble."

Last year I made almost $2,200.00 and I'd already passed that amount as the bidding got hot and heavy. When it started to slow down, I spoke up.

"As an added bonus, I will also throw in a free dinner at the club and a three night cruise for two to the Grand Camen Island," I told them.

The bidding stopped at $3775.00 for a second when a final one from the back of the room brought it just over $4,100.00.

"Well that's better than last year," I said to myself as I picked up my stuff on stage and went back to my table.

Everyone congratulated me on the amount of my bid, as the final item was getting ready to be auctioned off. I sat in my chair and looked around the room and at the people. These were the beautiful people who had the money and who's shit didn't stink. Sandy loved these functions and was here some where with a few of her friends rubbing elbows with the elite. I just wanted out of there.

I was just putting all my drawings and photographs in my case when Carla, who was in charge of the event, came up behind me.

"You out did yourself this year David," she said with a smile. "A nice touch offering the dinner and cruise," she told me. "The winner would like to meet with you next Tuesday at her home at about 7:00 to go over her needs. She gave me her card and her home address she said writing it on a napkin. Her name is Ann."

"Ann what?" I asked.

"Just Ann," Carla said. "She told me she just goes by her first name passing over the napkin. "She seems nice anyway." She thanked me again and headed over to the next table to take care of more business and I headed out.

"Are you leaving already?" Sandy asked.

"It's been a long day and I'm a little tired," I told her.

"You want some company?" she said with a smile.

"What do you want Sandy?"

"Sex. How about you and I have an old fashion roll in the hay. No strings attached good old fuck. I know you haven't gotten any lately and could probably use a bit of a release. Come on. For old times sake," she said squeezing my hand.

"My place in an hour if your still interested," I told her.

The sex was better than good tonight. Sandy made ever effort to give me more than I wanted. She blew me out on the back deck after we'd finished a glass of wine and rode me like there was no tomorrow. I wasn't going to eat her, not knowing whom if anyone she'd been with, but did it anyway. I must not have lost my touch as she went nuts climaxing and shooting her juices over my face. We finished up with a slow; gently fuck like we'd done so many times in the past. I shot my wad into the condom after about fifteen minutes and rolled over onto my back next to her.