Jasper

"Congratulations, Adina," Dexter said to me as we left the school together.

"Congrats to you, too," I beamed. "Finally we're moving on to college. Can you believe how surreal this is?"

"Yeah," he agreed. "It seems like just yesterday we met, eh?"

I laughed. I felt so carefree. "Thank you, Dexter, for being so generous and kind to me. I don't know how I would be without you!"

Dexter nodded his head vigorously as he stretched his arms and sighed. "Same to you."

"ME?"

"Yeah."

"I didn't do anything but pester you!"

He laughed, and said, "Well...yeah-"

"What?"

"-but you're the only one who seems to notice that I exist."

"If it weren't for my being stupid in Calculus I wouldn't have noticed you!"

"What, you mean you're here with me because of Calculus?"

"Seriously, no."

He sighed with relief.

"I mean, you're different. You're...not demanding and very calm and peaceful that I grow to like being with you."

"I never thought of that," he told me with wonder.

"It's true," I shrugged my shoulders. "All my life I have been good until I moved here. To the States. Then, suddenly, the people in my life became so tiresome that I lost myself in the middle of everything. Now that they're gone for good, I can focus on my real purpose of being here."

"Where did you come from?"

"Japan."

"Wow, that's so cool! How come you never told me?"

I paused as I pondered what to reply.

"Maybe because we never try to extend our acquaintanceship as tutor and student to friends. Or maybe because I was too absorbed in my own world that I forget what life is about."

"And that is?"

"Life is about purpose. Life is about goals,

dreams, and wishes. If there is no purpose in your life, you are better dead because without purpose life has no meaning at all. I learnt that when I lost two precious persons because someone thought to make an enemy in me. I don't know why that person hates me so much but if she thinks she's won, then she's wrong. Because when she made me suffer, she made me stronger."

"Wow, that's really philosophic," Dexter said after a short silence.

We reached at the junction. Before we parted, I took out a box wrapped with black and red stripes.

"It's something I have always loved. It's not much but I hope you'll like it."

"Thanks," he said, and kept it in his bag carefully. "Maybe we'll meet again one day."

"Yeah," I said. "Maybe when you're a scientist or something."

We shared a last laugh before we went our way.

As my feet carried me home, my mind whirled back to where I was in the beginning until now.

Talking to Dexter awoke me. We have to live for ourselves before others. No matter how much you love someone, yourself is the priority because, if you fall sick or something because you neglect yourself for someone, how are you suppose to look after that someone? Also, you are the only one who knows what you want and need. Nobody can read other's mind, don't you agree?

Without realising it, I had arrived. I dragged my feet into the empty house and into my room. The others were out partying so I had the house all to myself.

I opened my closet and slowly pulled out my clothes. I folded them neatly, stacked them on the floor against the wall, before placing them in my suitcase. Although I could go to college now, I missed home more than ever. I had decided to return for a month or so, losing myself in the beautiful country where I lived, finding myself back and forgetting all about my past, and then coming up with options to continue college here or there.

Halfway through the packing, the doorbell chimed. Startled from my reverie, I paused. When it sounded again, I rushed down.

However, I hesitated when my hand curled around the knob. Who would have the mind to come here at night? When students celebrate, the family celebrate, too.

Weird.

"Who's there?" I shouted.

Silence on the other side. Then...

"Adina?"

My world spun and blackened. Quickly, I sat down and pressed my head into my arms. Lord, was that who I think it was? Was that who I had just wanted to bury along everything else? Was that...?

"Adina, I know you're there!"

The voice came again, louder this time. I tried to stand up, to find refuge in the safety of my room, but the thought of that room brought the black past with it. My lungs choked, and I coughed as I fought for breath. My nails dug into my neck but my windpipe refused to release the

air I needed.

"Adina, please...open up!"

"C-c-can't..." I managed to gush out.

All of a sudden, the door banged open, almost

knocking me over. I struggled on my feet, my breath wheezing. But when those hands, so familiar yet so different, closed around mine, a loud keening sound escaped from my mouth and I could breathe!

"Get away from me," I ordered breathlessly.

"Adina, are you okay?"

"I said, get away from me!"

Stephan froze. To my horror, a shadow fell over us before the house lit up. There, at the threshold, stood the other man who had torn me asunder.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

How can I decide what's right?

When you're clouding up my mind...

Can't win your losing fight...

All the time...

How did we get here?

When I used to know you so well...

How did we get here?

Well I think I know...

The truth is writing in your eyes...

And it's hanging on your tongue

Just boiling in my blood...

But you think that I can't see...

What kind of man that you are?

If you were a man at all...

Well, I will figure this one out...

On my own...

I'm screaming I love you so..."

*

The world stopped.

I stood in front of the two men who had been stolen by The Leech, the men who had helped to destroy my heart and my life, the men who used to be my friends and lover. My body trembled with fear, despair, agony and pain as they watched me.

Finally, I spoke, "What are you doing here?"

The spell broke.

Stephan approached; followed by him-somehow I had forgotten his name-thinking to check me. A loud sob echoed through the house before I pushed away and ran into the kitchen. Sharp, I need something sharp and jagged, something to use to defend myself. Don't know what they'll do to me when they got me.

My hands worked mechanically, finding a knife.

When they entered, I faced them, a butcher knife in one hand. I knew that when I looked aback after this, I would question my sanity. Yet, not at the moment.

"Adina, you don't want to hurt anyone," Stephan spoke slowly, as if he was speaking to an insane person. Or maybe I was. Insane, and very so.

"Stay back," I warned. My hand closed the distance between myself and I angled it so that the sharp point pressed into my neck.

"Adina, please..."

"Shut up!"

Did he just spoke to me? After ignoring me in front of Ms Aurora, he dared spoke to me.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP! Why are you both here? HOW IN THE WORLD DID YOU GET IN? You have the guts to face me!"

"W-we came to apologise," Stephan spoke softly.

"For what?" I demanded. My eyes never left any movements they made be it big or small. "For destroying my life?"

They watched as I laughed aloud. How silly that sounded! Apologise? Who did they think I am? Some stupid stinking Goth hippo? Gosh, that was damned hilarious!

"Just inform The Leech that I say 'thank you'," I slurred. Shaking my head, I said, "I can't believe how lucky I am. After both of you destroy my life, I realise that I am stronger than ever. It doesn't matter that I have lost my best friend to her, and it doesn't even matter when her cousin stole my boyfriend away. Nope."

Taking a deep breath, I groped for the drawer and put the knife back inside without leaving my eyes off them.

"There, I have already put the threat away," I said unnecessarily. "Now, where was I? Oh, right, the stealing thing."

"Adina-"

"Don't interrupt!" I snapped at him. "Anyway, I also realised that I should be home. This big American country is not for me. So, end of the problem!"

Stephan stepped forward.

"Back off, buster," I stopped him. "You guys better leave before I call the cops."

"Now, we don't--"

"LEAVE!"

"Listen to us, please," he begged.

"No. I'm leaving tomorrow so I need my sleep. Now, go."

"Adina..."

Turning my back on them was the hardest thing in my life. They had come to me, both of them, probably to explain things, but I had pushed the chance away because I was hurting too much.

The sound of the door slammed into my mental mind. I fell to the floor and bunched myself. I wept and wept, hating myself for being so weak, for loving them more than they loved me, for wishing that things had not been that way.

It seemed hours, yet, when I checked the time, it had only been five minutes after they left. I forced myself to continue packing up, pushing them out of my mind.

Unfortunately, until the last second before I slept, they were in my mind.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

A MONTH ago, I was in the States.

A month later, I was back in my hometown.

I was more than glad that my family didn't question my strange behaviour. They gave me all the time I needed until I was fine. I knew they were hoping that I would confide in them about everything, but I had kept all the past a past.

Dinner was a quiet affair.

"I have something to say," I began.

Instantly, everyone paused eating and waited patiently.

"Minna, aregato gozaimas... I know that I came back a different person, but I am well now."

"Will you tell us why?"

I gazed at the woman who had been the family's strength ever since the man who donated his seeds walked out of our life without a reason, leaving a young and inexperienced widow to feed four hungry mouths who were victims of consequences. She had been gentle and wise, never scolded us but advised, and mostly loving us generously.

"It's all in the past, Haha. I wish to forget everything about it. Now, I am going to focus on my studies here. I realised that Amerika cannot beat Japan's education."

They seemed to take in what I had said-Yuki and mum, of course, since Yumi and Yuji were joking with themselves-before Yuki looked at me intently.

"What about Tsuyoki?"

I smiled mysteriously, leaving them to contemplate what would happen.

EPILOGUE

"YUMI, HAYAKU!"

I laughed before I flung myself into the strong arms. He lifted me up and spun us around and around until we went dizzy with happiness. When he put me back on the ground, our eyes locked.

A potent and strange sensation surged into me. I smiled widely as the heady emotion welled up inside me and burst through my eyes.

"Aishteru, Yumi," Tsuyoki whispered into my ear as he held me tight.

Indeed, returning back to Japan was the wisest decision I made.

"Gomene, Tsuyoki."

"Why?"

"Because I made you wait for me like...like..."

He silent me with a short but scorching kiss. When we separated, I grinned like an idiot before I released him and faced the sea. The pink tinged on the sky accentuated the fluffiness of the white clouds.

"TSUYOKI, TOTEMO AISHTE! I LOVE YOU, TSUYOKI! THANK YOU FOR LOVING ME!"

Rough hands wiped the tears off my face.

"Tsuyoki-"

"Hush, my love," he cut me gently. "I am more

than glad that you want my love. Seeing, feeling and having you here is heaven itself!"

"You're so generous, Tsuyoki," I whispered humbly.

He cupped my face and smiled with love shining through his eyes.

"You gave me strength when I needed it. You gave me hope when I saw nothing but bleakness. You gave me your complete love despite knowing how broken I was."

"I've been in love with you since we were seven, Yumi. Nothing is more valuable and important to me than your acceptance," he told me.

"Oh, I do accept you," I exclaimed, and then, slowly, I placed his hand on my tummy.

When his eyes widened and his laughter of joy resonated through the beach, my heart squeezed.

We turned our back and headed home. To me, it was more of turning to the past:

Stephan, the one who was kind to befriend me, and ended up being my best friend.

Jasper, the one who created the magic moment, became my stalker, then my first boyfriend.

Dexter, the one who had helped me improve my studies but never become more than a tutor.

Mr Yule, the one who believed in me when everyone failed me.

The Leech, who had destroyed my life for a petty emotion called jealousy, but had actually been defeated when she made me stronger than ever.

Isabelle, the one who could be bribed as easily, who was to be pitied because she had a very weak will.

Kendrick, the one who was initially my website security guard, who was now the owner of it.

Now, I am aiming for a better future, most of all with Tsuyoki, my faithful admirer, who loves me for who and what I am unconditionally and generously, who had waited unwearyingly as I picked up the pieces of my life, who had opened my sore heart to love again.

He's my husband now, and the peace that followed is the most precious gift anyone had ever given to me after Tsuyoki's love.

*

Author's Note: Thank you for taking your time to read this story. I hope you'll give your honest comment so that I can improve my writing.