Jenny Be Fair

The next verse of the song whispered in my ears:

You've never seen a man so sad and lonely as I was, The girls in town are all my kin, and my father is the cause! If life should thus continue, I would die a single man, So I will talk to Mother and she'll help me if she can.

I was moping in my bedroom before dinner. Mom knocked on my door, came in, sat beside me.

"Well hello stranger, I haven't seen you around for quite a few days. Did you get tired of fishburgers and pizza and decide to have a real meal with us? Hey, why are you looking like that? Something happen?"

I decided to unburden myself, and also to blow the whistle on Dad.

"Mom, I'm in a situation. I kinda like Sue and Shelly, but they're going off to college, and I don't know how often I'll see them."

"Jacky, there are plenty of other girls in town, well at least enough to keep you busy."

"Mom, that's the situation. I really do want to be with Jenny or Sally or Linda or Sara or Cindy or Mary or Helen. But I can't. I just can't."

"What's wrong with them? They're all nice girls, very attractive, and I know they all really like you. And they'll be better for you than Sue or Shelly will."

"Oh shit, Mom, here's what happened. I mentioned all these girls to Dad. Dad said that he was screwing around a lot before and after you were married, and all these girls are his. They're all my sisters! I can't go with them, can't have sex with them! It just wouldn't be right!"

I drew in on myself and shuddered. Mom put her hand on my shoulder and gently rocked me back and forth.

"Jacky, Jacky, there's something you need to know. I know all about your dad's philandering. He screwed just about every girl he could back then, and he hasn't slowed down much over the years.

"I know about your dad, but I'm very sure he doesn't know about me. Jacky, all those girls you mentioned -- go ahead and screw them. There's no problem."

I started so fast my teeth snapped. "What? Fuck my sisters?"

"Jacky, your dad fathered all those girls, yes, as well as Debbie and Dizzy. But he didn't father YOU. Your father, and Shelly's father, is Dave Reed, Sue's father. I'm still screwing Dave. He's a much better lover than your dad ever was. Jacky, of all the girls in town, only Sue and Shelly are your sisters!"

Oh wow. My real sisters and I had been fucking each other, and I cut myself off from all my not-sisters. Was my head spinning? Yeah, like a gyro gone wild. Like the wheel of fortune on a 220 volt line. Zap!

I think I fainted. Next thing I knew, Mom was holding a cold wet folded washcloth to my forehead. Then she swore me to secrecy and dragged me down to dinner. Mmmm, salmon casserole!

I lay in bed after dinner, and stared at the ceiling, and thought, and rejoiced! I had a new lease on life, a new purpose. I made myself a solemn resolution, and I followed through. Yes, the list.

I worked my way through the list. In the next couple weeks, I fucked Jenny and Sally and Linda and Clara and Sara and Cindy and Mary and Helen. Then I stayed home and fucked Debbie and Dizzy too. Oooh, they were especially sweet. Then I started at the top of the list again, and fucked them all again, and again, and again. Thanks, Dad!

The song's last verse, in the mother's voice:

Well Jacky, haven't I taught you to forgive and to forget,
And if your father's sowed his oats, well still, you needn't fret.
Your father may be 'Pa' to all the girls in town, but still,
He's not the one who sired you, so marry whom you will!

---

EPILOGUE: Sue and Shelly, my only real sisters, returned from their summer session, and we kept fucking and sucking and communing. Hey, we had so much in common! They convinced me to go to university too. We moved in together in Corvallis. We've never been apart since then.

We came home for holidays and some weekends, and I kept fucking my non-sisters. I do not know if Shelly and Sue were fucking anybody else around here, but I doubt it -- we had so much fun together! And we still do. Often just us, and often with some of the not-sisters too. Just a big happy extended family.

Now our hometown is filled with little kids who look a bit like me. I don't even have to pay for them.

Life is good.