Jenny Ch. 04 - The Next Day

THE NEXT DAY

Dr. Jenny Friedman awakens to the single note that sounds from her smartphone signalling the arrival of a text message. She is startled to find herself atop the body of a man before remembering what had happened in the wee hours of the morning.

A smile lights up her face as the memory of making love with Rick surfaces.

As she struggles to awaken, the single note chimes again.

She snatches her cell phone from the bedside table. At the top of the message is the name Hannah Milstein. She is relieved that the message from the nurse says only, "When are you going to make rounds?"

It could have been much worse. She looks down at Rick and sees that he hasn't stirred. She feels safe for now.

She turns her head to look at the clock. The morning sun, low in the sky, shining through the blinds hits her eyes, making her squint. She then becomes aware of how much her head hurts, reminding her how much alcohol she consumed the night before. Memories of the sweetness of Chardonnay and Whiskey Sours nauseate her. She hopes not to vomit, something that surely would send her new lover back to Silicon Valley, where the girls either eat hardly at all or have honed the talent to throw up discreetly.

She thinks of the whirlwind courtship through which she has just been. Making love last night was the marriage ceremony, no clergyman or justice of the peace needed. Fucking each other's brains out has to be the best way to seal a commitment.

Jenny realizes that just looking gross while hungover won't undo the years of want and loneliness that now are just a distant memory. But she knows something that might.

She delicately removes herself from the bed. Rick does not stir. What a relief. But why hasn't he moved? Had she been too much for him? She watches his chest rise and fall. He's alive.

It's nice to hear him breathe. In fact, it makes her feel as good as when he made her climax last night, albeit in a different way.

She feels foolish to have thought their amorous encounter could have killed him. After all, he's a healthy young man who didn't drink to excess or use drugs last night. But it's her misgivings about being able to give herself fully to any one person that brings such thoughts to her mind.

She grabs her smartphone and takes it into the bathroom with her, hoping not to get any more texts that might cast light on the other side of her life. Maybe it would be best if they moved away. California, where Rick is living, is known for its tolerance of alternative lifestyles. So they might be better off there. And then she realizes she will take herself wherever she goes.

She is naked. What has happened to her? Never an exhibitionist, she doesn't remember ever walking around her house without at least wearing a robe. She guesses that now having known carnal pleasure, the prim and proper young professional woman is no longer, she having descended into the unwashed masses that comprise humanity.

As she sits on the toilet peeing, she looks at the messages she and Hannah have exchanged. This one no one better see, she decides, and deletes it. She does the same a dozen more times and, realizing there are dozens more, she is ready to highlight 'delete' to get rid of the whole thread.

Tears well up in her eyes. Hannah is dear to her. Deleting the messages would be like deleting the troubled woman from her life. She can't do it, especially after what her friend has just been through.

She quickly changes her password from 'phone' to a seemingly random sequence suggested by her mobile provider. Just not using her phone in front of Rick might be enough; at least that way there'll be less of a chance he'll see something he shouldn't.

But the computer will be more of a problem. So far Rick has only used his company's laptop during his visits. But as their lives intertwine, surely sometime he will find a need to use hers. Will she always remember to sign out of her email and social media accounts?

She bites her lower lip. Rick's going to find out sometime, she knows. And she doesn't know if she wants to be around when he does.

She silences her phone and turns on the water to shower. Before stepping behind the curtain, she grabs the phone, holds it away from the stream of hot water to keep it dry, and places it in the soap dish. She wants to enjoy her shower without worrying a text message that she doesn't want Rick to see will pop up unbeknownst to her.

She stands under the hot water and begins crying, trying not to whimper too loudly, hoping that the noise from the flowing water will hide her sobs. With Rick back in her life and Hannah absent, she had been certain the thoughts and urges that had bedeviled her since adolescence were gone, even though a therapist had explained there was and there should be no cure for what troubles her. But everything went back to square one when she saw Hannah's text.

That she may never be able to give her love to only one person exasperates her, for that is what she wants for herself.

Thinking about raising a family with Rick and how great their life as a married couple will be allows her to compose herself. After getting out of the shower, she wraps herself in a towel before blow drying her hair. And then she strides into the bedroom, retrieves a plain white bra and panties over which she throws a set of blue scrubs, and goes into the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee.

The caffeine eases her headache slightly. She checks the news on her phone. No wars have broken out. The federal government still is running a huge deficit that its legislators refuse to address but people are still willing to lend money to the United States, so things are status quo.

Everything is exactly the same as before she fucked Rick. Live in the moment. That's what her therapist tells her. Don't be a fortune teller. No sense fretting about a future over which she has little control. The world will go on, and the people who think she is their soulmate will have to accept her as the imperfect being that she is. That's what she is telling herself, just so she can see the handful of patients it is her duty to care for today.

But an incredible sense of foreboding continues to nag at her, because she wasn't forthcoming with Rick. But she doubts if he would have wanted her to be, for it seems his preference is to worship her as his goddess.

But the age of gods and goddesses is coming to an end. Even Rick will eventually become jaded. And no longer do people accept being a victim of fate or bad luck. People assume they are in control of their own destinies. And when they are wronged, they seek recompense from the guilty party. So when RIck tires of her feminine charms, this must end badly for her. And when it does, will Hannah have moved on?

Jenny's destiny will not be in her hands until she can banish certain thoughts from her mind. But how can a person not think of something? Intimate relationships, what gives meaning to life, are her curse, for they can never be fully consummated.

She remembers her car is still at the hospital so she summons Uber and stands out in the cold wearing a sweater, shivering. Clouds move in and obscure the sun, making her realize it will be another gray day. Then she remembers that the weather report calls for snow. It will be a nice evening to stay home and cuddle with Rick in front of the fireplace, where she will be safe from any interference from Hannah.

The Uber driver arrives and she gazes at the leafless trees as the Prius makes its way to the hospital. To reject Rick or Hannah is unthinkable. She briefly considers opening the passenger door and rolling onto the expressway, where she will certainly be run over and killed in the heavy traffic. But why should her loved ones have to endure grief from her passing? It would be better if all traces of her could be erased from the fabric of the universe.

She once read of a man who had two wives and families, completely unbeknownst to each other. If only such a thing were easy.

The driver deposits her in front of the hospital and she smiles at an old family practitioner leaving the hospital. Had the man seen her with Rick last night? Did he think his obstetrical colleague was a slut for drunkenly grinding on the man who would become her lover a couple of hours later?

She paces while waiting for the elevator to arrive. The door opens and she strides inside the car, thinking about what awaits her on the obstetrics unit.

Maybe Hannah will be down in the radiology department with a patient. But the women for whom she cares after having given birth or undergone gynecologic procedures are quite healthy and seldom need X rays.

The lights above the buttons alongside the elevator doors flash 1..., 2..., 3..., until the car arrives on the fourth floor where the mothers, the babies, and, in a separate ward, the postoperative patients wait for the on call doctor to make rounds. Jenny steels herself to face her life as it is.

The elevator doors open. Hannah's back is turned as she talks on the phone. At least Jenny will be able to sneak into a room and see the first patient before having to see the woman she has abandoned for Rick.

But Hannah hangs up the phone, turns around, and sees Jenny exit the elevator. The young doctor bites her lip and gets ready to confront her former lover.

Avoiding Hannah's eyes, Jenny stares at the floor as she walks into the nurses station.

"I heard you had a good time at the Christmas party last night," Hannah snears.

"Where did you hear that?" Jenny answers with mock surprise.

"Dr. Winters told us all about it," Hannah says smugly, referring to the gossipy anesthesiologist who follows the lives and loves of every good looking female who works at the hospital.

"I suppose it would be asking too much for you to say you're glad for me."

"No it wouldn't."

Tears well up in the corners of Jenny's eyes and then stream down her face. Hannah opens the door to the kitchen and motions for her ex-lover to follow her inside.

Jenny hurries into the kitchen, not wanting any of the patients or staff see her cry. Hannah closes the door behind them.

"Hannah, I've never stopped loving you!"

"Don't lie to me. It's unbecoming for a doctor."

"You have to believe me. I didn't want to fall in love with him too! That's my problem. One part of me loves you and the other part loves him!"

"Well then, you're just going to have to make a choice."

"I can't choose!"

Jenny collapses in Hannah's arms and buries her head in her friend's bosom. Tears come to Hannah's eyes as she listens to Jenny's sobs.

"You go ahead and do what you want to with him. It will be better if your patients see you as straight. He's a billionaire too, from what I understand.

"If some billionaire chick fell in love with me, I'd be out of here on the next flight."

"No you wouldn't."

"Maybe you're right."

Jenny plants her lips on Hannah's. Their tongues meet and wrestle until Hannah hears the chime from a call light. Jenny releases her friend from their embrace and Hannah leaves the kitchen.

Jenny sits at the kitchen table. She stares at a picture of a mommy with a pregnant belly and realizes it's time for her to start a family. And Rick's the one to be the daddy. But where does Hannah fit in?

Jenny is still in tears when Hannah comes back into the kitchen. The nurse pours the doctor a cup of coffee.

"The aides are wondering what's going on with you," Hannah tells her friend.

"I'll come out in a minute."

"You have to compose yourself. Whatever happens, your career shouldn't have to suffer."

"You don't know what it's like to be in love with a man and a woman. When Rick finds out, he'll think I'm sick."

"You're not sick. And I won't tell him. Don't worry about me."

"I'd like to make love with you one more time."

"That wouldn't be good. We should just stop now."

"I want to taste you. I want to feel your tongue down there!"

"So his tongue's no good?"

"He was a virgin!"

Hannah laughs.

"He's a billionaire and can't get laid? So he comes here to see if his old friend can teach him how to have sex? You better watch yourself. Now that he knows what it's like to get laid, he's gonna try to fuck every bimbo in Silicon Valley!"

"Rick's not like that!"

"Don't bet on it!"

"Oh Hannah! I don't know what to do. I need your love like I never needed it before!"

"OK. We'll talk in my apartment when my shift is over," Hannah replies.

Jenny wipes the tears off her face and drinks the black coffee from the Styrofoam cup, thinking how lousy it tastes.

The doctor takes her time on rounds and texts lies to Rick about having to deliver a baby.

She wants to have sex with Hannah one more time, just to be sure that Rick is whom she wants.

Jenny is sitting in the doctor's lounge watching a basketball game when Hannah's shift ends. She is wallowing in shame over having lied to Rick. And the local college team is being blown out. Jenny doesn't even have the energy to change the channel.

Hannah's text arrives. "Come on over, you crazy dyke!"

Jenny smiles, grabs her keys, and leaves the doctor's lounge.

**********************************************************************************************************

The young obstetrician is surprised that her guilt feelings have left as she drives to the apartment of the person who is now her paramour. It feels so normal to be dressed in scrubs, have made rounds in the hospital, and now to go and be with the woman she loves and gossip and discuss matters of the day.

Just like they used to until a certain person sent her a friend request on Facebook.

Jenny stops a mile away from Hannah's apartment and buys a half dozen of their favorite doughnuts-three chocolate for her and three cherry filled for Hannah.

A few minutes later Jenny's friend buzzes her into her condominium and she rides up thirteen floors on the elevator. When she gets off she walks slowly to 1313.

The young doctor stands at the door of her friends condominium, suddenly having second thoughts, wanting to go back home and hug Rick.

Seconds pass. Jenny hears footsteps coming to the door. Hannah must have heard the elevator. The doctor makes up her mind to run away and scamper down the steps but just then Hannah opens the door.

"He-hello!" Jenny says nervously.

"Come on in. You know I don't bite."

Jenny steps into the apartment. It smells like cigarette smoke. That is the one thing she doesn't like about Hannah.

Jenny's friend opens the window to air out the room and sprays air freshener.

"I forgot how much you hate smoking," Hannah apologizes.

Jenny and Hannah sit at the kitchen table, where they've spent many hours talking about what makes two people be in love.

"I always loved coming here and having a drink."

"That ain't gonna happen today."

Hannah just got out of detox. Jenny worries that finding out about Rick pushed her over the edge.

"I know."

Hannah goes to the stove to make the two friends some tea.

"I don't want to come between you two," she tells Jenny.

"I have to know if I'm making the right choice."

Hannah takes Jenny's hand in hers and they look into each other's eyes.

"Remember when you met me at the finish line of the marathon? And we kissed really long and everyone looked at us because no one could believe someone who looked like you could be a dyke?" Hannah asks.

Jenny nods. "I'll never forget that."

"And after that you said we should get married."

"I know."

"And then three weeks later I see you out with this guy. It's a friend from college you say. So why don't you introduce us, I ask. And you say he's shy. And I say we're not in high school anymore. And you say you're just friends with him. So I believe you. And then you go to Orlando instead of flying to the Bahamas with me like we planned.

"I knew it was over then. And I couldn't stand it. So I drowned my sorrows in alcohol. And who didn't even visit me when I was in rehab?"

"Oh god, I'm sorry. I just couldn't face you after I betrayed you."

The water boils and Hannah gets up and puts two teabags in the pot. She returns to the table carrying a handgun.

"I put this to my temple," she tells Jenny.

Hannah then points the gun at Jenny's forehead.

Jenny holds her hands up and pushes her chair away from the table.

"No!" the young doctor shouts.

"Bang!" Hannah says as she pretends to fire the gun.

"Don't worry. It ain't loaded. But it was when I pointed it at my head. I couldn't pull the trigger. I went to rehab instead. After I got dried out, they convinced me that the only person in the world that can make me unhappy is myself. So the gun here is only for protection. I probably should get rid of it."

Jenny goes to the opposite side of the table and kneads Hannah's shoulders.

"You'll always be my friend you know," Jenny tells her.

"I know."

Jenny bends over and places her lips on Hannah's. The other woman is resistant at first, but then her lips part and their tongues wrestle for a long time. Hannah reaches under Jenny's scrub top and unfastens the clasp between the cups of her bra.

The young doctor ends the kiss and lifts her scrub top over her head. Hannah's eyes are transfixed on her friend as she shakes her torso, making her bra fall off her shoulders, just like she did for Rick the night before.

"You look lovely!" Hannah exclaims before taking Jenny's right nipple into her mouth.

Jenny grows wet between her legs. The memory of Hannah's tongue and lips on her pudenda grows stronger.

Hannah expels her friend's nipple from her mouth and yanks Jenny's scrub pants and panties down. Her friend steps out of her garments and stands naked before her lover.

Hannah leans over and kisses Jenny's vulva. Her tongue gently brushes her lover's outer lips. Jenny runs her fingers through Hannah's short dark hair and coos with pleasure.

Hannah stands up. She is still wearing her scrub top from work, decorated with little birdies. She lifts it above her head and throws it onto the floor. Jenny lifts her lover's bra and sucks on her right nipple.

Hannah takes Jenny by the hand and leads her to the bedroom.

They are lying together, kissing, when Jenny's phone rings.

"Hi! When are you coming home?" Rick asks.

"I'm with a friend. Having coffee," Jenny replies.

"Tea!" Hannah whispers.

Jenny gets off the bed and leaves the room.

"Can I come over and meet your friend?" Rick asks.