Jeremy and I Ch. 01

Jeremy and I are two of a pair, so to speak. We are both like each other a lot, except for the little age difference, he is 4 1/2 years older to me. I know this isn't a big deal and all, but sometimes the age gap makes a difference. As and example, Jeremy is not a virgin, as where I am.

We kind of grew up different. Him and his family that is like the normal family, divorce, sibling problems...you get the point. I am well...the tipical American family. We have a high social rank in the community and from the outside, my family is perfect, from the inside it's as messed up and the room I live in when I was a kid.

Everything in my world was suppose to be perfect, except for the part that I wanted to die and just not deal with the pain inside me.

Then I met Jeremy.

The sweetest guy in the world you could ever imagine. He was in a bad relationship and I kinda helped him through it and he ended up dumping her. We talked alot. About school, friends, family, our problems. His friendship gave me a good reason to live and no matter what went wrong, Jeremy was there to make it seem like it was small and didn't matter. And in my sheltered life, most of it didn't.

He had asked me out several times, but each ended in a polite smile and a no. I wasn't ready for a commitment or anything. I've always been told I'm a free spirit that would take years to tame down. He would back off the topic, and I knew he was hurt but didn't want to ruin the friendship we had. Finally one day I decided to pursue the topic.

"Jeremy, why do you want to go out with me?" I asked in the middle of a conversation that had nothign to do with my question.

"Why do you always ask questions?" He joked around.

I hit him playfully. "No seriously, tell me."

"Brittany, your everything in this world a guy would want. You're real. You don't try to be something you're not and if someone doesn't like it, you say go to hell and don't care. You're different, and you have gotten really close to me and you're in my heart all the time. I just want to be in yours all the time."

"Jer, you're always in my heart. You are the best friend a girl could ever have."

"That's the point. I don't want to be just your best friend. I want to be your everything. When you go out on dates and you say they are jerks, well I know they have been the whole time. I know you and I know that the guys you date aren't right for you."

"Com'on hun. You know I'm not good with relationships. I don't think I've ever had a boyfriend last longer then 2 months."

"That's because they aren't right for you." His eyes were so big and open they made my heart melt.

"Well O.K. My question is answered, so how was your day yesterday?"

He rolled his eyes. I knew Jeremy was use to me switching topics whenever I felt uncomfertable or when I had nothing to say. He also knew not to pursue it because I needed time to think about everything before I could talk about it again. Our time together was much the same.

"Hey Jeremy?" I asked one day before he could say anything to me.

"Yes Brittany?" His smile was cute and happy.

"Will you go out with me?" My voice got timid as I asked this, because I wasn't sure if I had lost my chance or not.

I watched his smile change and his eyes dance as he took me into his arms and gave me the biggest hug I ever have had. He had completely swarmed over me since I was only 5'3 compared to his 6'2. When he let go, his smile was better then before. I felt like flying.

Life was pretty much the same as before except my heart felt filled and I was always happy. Jeremy and I spent a lot of time together just hanging out. He never made a move more then kissing becuase I, still being a virgin, didn't really know what to do and wasn't to comfertable with it all.

Jeremy wanted to become a bar tender so one night we started looking at drink mixes talking about the crazy names they had and what we would want to try. Me, only being drunk once and that was even on accident, had no clue about any of these drinks.

"KIWI LEMON. A mixed drink.

1 Part Kibowi 2 Parts Bitter Lemon Soda

Mix in highball glass. Stirr. Garnish with slice of kiwi.

That sounds really good"

He laughed at the drink card I was looking at. "I have so many highballers it's not funny and over 200 shot glasses."

"Highballers?"

"High ball glass, most drinks are mixed in them."

"Oh ok." I giggled at him thinking how odd it was that he knew all of this and I didn't.

We talked more about different drinks and what he likes and what he thought I would like.

"What do you think would be the first thing you would give me at th bar?" I asked wanting to see what he'd say.

"Two tooters."

"Why?"

"Cuz I don't want to start you off with somthing too strong." He winked at me and gave me one of his playful smiles. "Ane because they are so fucking yummie." I couldn't help but start laughing with him.

"What if I got a little...tipsy, what would you do with me then?"

"What do u mean tipsy?"

"Not really drunk, but just maybe a little bit."

"Off of two tooters? I would prolly laugh at you for a little while." Another smile came to his face that made me start giggling with him again.

"Well, I mean like off of anything."

"I would ask you if you was ok and if you wanted anything like soem spyder tequila or a blue motorcycle."

"That's all?"

"Or maybe a tequila sunrise."

"Okies then."

"What are u getting at?" He gave me a puzzling look.

"What if I had to much to drink and you wren't going to give me anymore of anything, what would you do?" I asked liking the game I've played with him so many times before of what if's.

"If you had to much then I just wouldn't give you anymore especially since it's your first time really drinking. Also depends on how you were acting."

"What if I was really flirty? And I wasn't drunk, just wouldn't be smart to give me anything more?"

"I would flirt back, of course."

"Ok."

"Now tell me what your beeting around the bush about." He liked this game but always wanted to know why I played it.

"Nothing." I said as innoccently as I could.

"Like I'm going to believe that."

"I just wanted to see what you would do if we were in that kind of situation, alone somewhere, with achohol, being really flirty and stuff, I just wanted to see how far you think you would take things."

"I wouldn't take advantage of you, sweety."

"Well what if I started it, would you act upon it?"

"Depends what would you start?"

"How abou cuddling?"

"Nothing wrong with that?"

"What about if I started kissing you?"

"How drunk are you?" He laughed.

"Not drunk enough to be oblivious to what I'm doing. I could still think and feel what I was doing."

"Then I would kiss you back."

"What if I did more?"

"Like what?" Jeremy knew I got kind of shy about this and wanted to test to see if I would say it flat out.

"Like anything."

"If you had been drinking, but could still think and all I would still feel like I was takeing advantage of you and couldn't do it. I wouldn't let it to far no matter how much I would want it too."

"Why?"

"It would all just depend on what you was acting."

"I was me, being flirty....and starting stuff."

Jeremy thought for a second. "But yet you hadn't had enough to drink to get all out blurry-eyed drunk right?"

"No. I wasn't blurryed eyed."

"And could still think and knew what u was doing?"

"Yes."

"Then yeah, maybe I would take it the next level."

"Would you take it all the way?"

"I would have to ask you a million times if this is what you would want to do and make damn sure that you was straight."

"So is that a yes or no?"

"Depends on how you answered."

"If I said yes?"

"Then that's a yes, but you would deffinalty not be drunk."

"And if I said no, you would stop?"

"Soon as you said so." He came over and wrapped his arms around me.

I looked up at him and into his eyes. "Are you absoulty positive, that you would make yourself stop even if you were a bit drunk?"

"I promise you."

"Ok." And with that I let myself just be absorbed in his arms.

"Is that all?" He half wishpered.

"Yeah, I guess."

"Now my turn." His devilish and childish grin could be seen and I couldn't help but laugh at him.

"Alright. Go ahead."

"Where did this come from and why are you asking it?"

"Just something in my head I wanted to ask you about."

"Is that all you're going to tell me?"

"I don't know."

"Are you sure you're not getting anywhere Brittany?"

I pulled my knees up to my body and wrapped my arms around them. I wasn't sure of what to say so I just shurgged my shoulders.

Jeremy got down and tried to look inbetween my arms to see my face. "Do you want me to?"

I shrugged again still unsure of everything. Jeremy put one arm around me and took my chin with his other hand and lifted it making me look at him. He softly kissed me on the lips. "What do you think about that."

I kissed him again and then leaned up against him. "I am unsure of what I want."

He took his hands placing one on each cheek and pulled me in for a kiss. Harder then the one before, but still with gentleness. "Why are you unsure baby?" He brushed his thumb over my lips and kissed me again but softer. "I want you to be sure of everything."

"I want it to happen, but I'm not exactly sure it should. I just don't know. I'm sorry."

Jeremy got up and sat on the couch his head bent and in his hands. I walked over and sat down on the floor right infront of him pulling my knees again to my body and resting my chin on them while watching him. He looked up and smiled at me then came over and sat behind me, with one leg on each side, holding me in his arms. He took his hand brushing away my hair and kissed my neck softly and slowly, then he pulled me around to kiss my lips again.

"If I'm not the one, then that's fine by me. Don't do anything unless you're for sure, ok babe?" He whispered into my ear.

I nodded my head at him. I gave him a hug and he ran his hands up and down my back.

"I think I need to go now."

"Yeah, probably a good idea. Will let you think. I don't want to rush into anything."

Again I nodded and got up. Jeremy grabbed my hand and I helped him up. He walked me to his door and kissed me on the cheek. And I left.