Jess was a Bitch Ch. 04

"Jess, what's wrong?"

"I'm fine. It's just the yucky feeling I get before..."

"Why are you lying to me?"

"Huh? I'm not..."

"Yes, you are," Jon insists, his voice soft. "You were practically doing cartwheels a couple days ago because your period was over and you wouldn't have to worry about it on vacation."

Shit, Jess fumbles for an explanation. "Periods can be very irregular sometimes."

"Okay but it still feels like that's not the truth."

"No, it's not the truth. You're right. You deserve better, sorry." Jess remains on her side, facing away from her brother. "This is crazy, Jon. It needs to stop before it gets even harder. We can't do this."

"Why?"

She rolls over and stares at her brother. "Why? Don't be dense. Where does it end? Where does it go to? Marriage? Kids? Are you telling me you imagine a life with me? Come on! How? Run away to Belize or Thailand or something? What about mom and dad? Do we hide from them?"

"We don't have to get married to be together."

"No but you think the fact that you're my brother is something we can hide? What about our friends?"

"I don't care! Fuck our friends! Fuck people!" He doesn't shout but he's body shakes with the force of his emotion.

"All of them?" Jess is crying again, softly. "We just hide in an apartment? A hut? Find jobs we can do over the internet? Never see anyone? You don't love me that much. Don't pretend you do? I love you but not that much."

"I do love you that much, Jess."

"Oh, little brother, I know you do, right now, but not forever. I love you even more for imagining you do." They listen to the sound of the ocean, lost in their pain. "Mom knows," Jess whispers. She's rolled back onto her side. She hears the catch in Jon's breath. "You sure?" he asks finally. "Yeah, she's the one who pointed out this was hopeless." For a moment, Jon is flooded with all the old hatred of his mother. It washes away as quickly as it came. "Was she pissed?" Jess shakes her head, "No, she was worried but not angry." Jon pulls his legs up and wraps his arms around them. "Maybe they would accept us. We could make new friends. No one would have to know."

Jess sits up and scoots out the bottom of the lounger. She stoops to kiss Jon on the forehead. "It's a sweet dream. But, think about it, really think about it. That's all it is, a dream." Her voice fails on the last word. She turns and runs for the surf before he sees her crying again. Jon lets his head fall back onto the head rest. He does his best not to cry, on the outside.

***

"Hey, dude, sorry to bug ya but..."

Jon opens his eyes, irritated. He wanted to be alone with his anger and pain. The man is lost in the glare off the ocean. It takes him a second to recognize the guy from last night, the one he thought had walked past them on the beach. There's a woman beside him. Jon is not in the mood for conversation but he's the kind of person who can't stand to be rude if it can be avoid, so he raises his head. "What's up?"

"I know this will sound totally ballsy and weird but we, my wife and I, messed up. There aren't any cabanas left. The sun was brutal yesterday. Dude, say no if you don't want to, seriously, but we were wondering if we could share your cabana. We'd pick up the tab. You and your girlfriend can have the lounge, recliner, bed, chaise or whatever the fuck that thing is, or the chairs. You guys get dibs, of course."

Jon doubts they'll be there much longer anyway. He shrugs. "Sure, no sweat." He starts to lean his head back again when the guy sticks out a hand. "I'm Travis. This is my wife, Caitlin." Jon takes his hand, then the woman's. "I'm Jon. Nice to meet you." He settles back. "You havin' fun? Place is sick, isn't it?" Jon offers a noncommittal, "mmm", hoping Travis will take the hint. He appears to.

"Hon, would you do my back?"

"Sure, babe. Come over here."

The bed is jostled. "Oh, sorry. Tight quarters," Caitlin chirps.

"No problem," Jon mutters. He hears the plastic snap of a bottle being opened. He peeks from beneath his eyelids. Caitlin is beautifully tanned. He watches as she reaches behind her back and unties her top. She lets it fall into her hand and holds it by her waist. Travis smoothes lotion across her bare back. When he gets to her butt, he pulls her bikini bottom down and lotions her cheeks. Jon, despite his mood, is paying careful attention; she has no tan lines.

"Did I miss any spots on my front, babe?" Caitlin turns and holds her arms up. Her husband inspects her body. Her breasts, Jon admits, are quite nice, not as nice as Jess' but nice nonetheless. Travis squirts a dollop of lotion on his fingers and rubs it beneath her breasts. "I think your good. You did your legs, right?" She nods. "Your turn." Travis stands and turns, facing Jon. He watches Jon's face as his wife covers his back with sun screen. Travis is deeply tanned. "I always manage not to get the lotion low enough." He reaches around as he speaks and his wife hands him the tube. He squirts another dollop on his fingers and hands the bottle to his wife. With his free hand, he pulls down the top of his trunks. His pubes and the base of his dick are clearly visible. He rubs the lotion in a line across the top of his pubes. His eyes never leave Jon's face. It's clear he's aroused. Jon's dick isn't exactly flaccid but that was due to the image of Caitlin's butt and boobs, not Travis.

"Hi." It's Jess. Travis turns. Jon sees his face light up in a big smile when he sees Jess standing at the entrance to the cabana, reaching for a towel, he fights to keep his face neutral as he feels jealousy surge through his body.

"Hi, I'm Caitlin and this is my husband Travis. We couldn't get a cabana and Jon said it would be okay if we shared, as long as you were okay with it." Jess looks at her brother. He says nothing. "Sure, sounds like fun. I'm Jess by the way." She starts to towel off. "I've seen you guys around. Is this your first time here?" Travis nods. "Yeah, honeymoon treat from Caitlin's parents. It's pretty crazy awesome." Jess laughs and the knot in Jon's stomach tightens. "It is pretty awesome. My parents stumbled on this place years ago. At the time, there was only one phone at the front desk. Totally, private." Jon notices she said 'my', not 'our'. She turns to Jon, smiles, and her smile looks more like the smile he's grown accustomed to seeing in only a couple of short days. "I came to get you. The water is fantastic. Come on." She holds out her hand. Jon takes it. "You guys coming in?" she asks, looking over her shoulder. "No, thanks. We just put on sunscreen. Later," Travis replies. He's smiling. They're both smiling. Caitlin winks. Travis' shorts are tented.

"Okay, later then," Jess chirps. She takes Jon's hand and leads him into the surf.

***

"What should we do about the kids?"

"What do you mean, James?"

"Gloria, please. You've seen the way they've been acting." He hesitates. "When I went over yesterday to see if they had changed their minds about Tulum, Jess' panties were on the floor. Jon's boxers were on top of them. She was in her bed but it was clear something had been going on. They tried to act like they'd just woken up but it was obvious they hadn't." He hesitates once more. "And, well, the room smelled like sex."

"I wasn't sure if you knew they were sleeping together," Gloria acknowledges, looking out the window as the ocean rolls by.

"They've always been at each other's throats. I don't understand. How long has this been going on?"

"A day and a half," Gloria sighs.

"So, what should we do?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing! You can't be serious, Gloria! Our children are fucking each other! Jesus!"

"Yes, they are. They're young. Jess put up with that little shithead Alex for way to long and now she's discovered what it's like to be with someone who really cares for you." She pulls her gaze from the ocean and looks at her husband. "He's a lot like you, you know. She loves you, too, not in that way, but why are you so surprised she's attracted to someone who is kind and gentle and loving?"

"He's her brother!"

"I know that, James. I don't pretend to understand. But attraction is attraction. It's a physical thing. Not being attracted to a family member is a tradition, a taboo. Since when do our bodies pay attention to taboos? Or our minds for that matter?" She turns back to the ocean. "I feel sorry for them, heartbroken. They aren't stupid, James. They'll understand, if they don't already, that it can never work. They have a world of hurt hurtling their way, especially Jon. Jess, too but Jon will be devastated. Like you, he does nothing part way. If he's in, he's in and oh my goodness, is he in deep this time. Have you seen the way he looks at her, when he thinks no one is watching? He looks at her like you used to look at me.

"I know this will sound ridiculous, since, twenty-four hours ago you told me you wanted a divorce but try and remember back to the beginning, back when we couldn't keep our hands off each other. How would you have felt if I told you we were done? That's what will happen to Jon, soon enough. He's a romantic, like you. He'll have convinced himself there's some way they can have a life together. Jess, she's a romantic too but she's also a realist. She knows it has to end, now, or when they get back, but soon. Imagine how it will break her heart, having to break his."

"Jesus Christ," James whispers.

"Honey, I wish there was something we could do. If there was, I'd be on my knees praying." She reaches over, still watching the ocean, and takes her husband's hand.

"You're wrong about one thing, sweetheart."

"Mm, what's that?" Gloria whispers. James squeezes her hand.

"I don't have to think back to the beginning. I know how I would have felt. I felt it yesterday."

She squeezes his hand back. She doesn't bother to wipe away the tears that run silently down her cheeks.

***

The water is wonderful but it does nothing to ease Jon's mind. "Why did you bring me out here? Aren't we over," he snaps when she emerges from one of the breaking waves. "Don't be a fucking idiot," she snaps back. "You think just because we can't be a couple means I won't love you anymore. Is that how it works for you? If you can't fuck me, you don't love me? If I can't suck your dick you don't want to see me or be around me?"

Jon drops beneath the water and screams his frustration. "No," he sighs, pushing his long hair back when he surfaces. "That's not what I meant. I'm dying here, Jess. Fuck."

She splashes his chest. "So am I, little brother. So, am I." She splashes him again, almost smiles. "But we're not. You think we're the first 'doomed' lovers in history? We don't need to go all Romeo and Juliet. We can still love each other, just not in the way we wish we could."

"That's stupid. It sucks. Why? Who the fuck decided that?"

"Oh, a few generations of nitwits and the deformed would be my guess."

"Bullshit. Sure, I'm sure there's risks to inbreeding but we don't have any genetic diseases in the family. Not every child of incest is a freak. It's just another 'rule' society has made. Who says it can't change, huh? When mom and dad were our age, no one imagine gays would be able to marry. Things change."

"Yes, baby, they do but I don't think that one is changing anytime soon, if ever." She wades closer and puts her arms around his neck. "Let's not make this harder than it needs to be, okay? Let's not ruin this time together." She's crying again and it's hard for Jon not to join her. "For the rest of the trip, let's imagine all those things you just said have come true and that we're on our honeymoon. We need to be careful and not rub it in mom and dad's face but we'll spend as much time together as we can. When we get off the plane, we go back to being brother and sister. We'll love each other, still and always, but in the way people expect. Can we do that, please? I know I have to give you up, but not yet, not now. Please?"

Jon's answer is to start crying. He manages to nod before he drops beneath the water again. The ocean burns his eyes.

When he comes up for air, he spots Travis and Caitlin diving into a wave. He's tempted to drop below the surface and swim away but all his stuff is in the cabana. Besides, they're staying at the resort. He could tell them to 'fuck off' but that's not his style. He will if he must but only as a last resort. Jess pops up beside him and pushes her hair back.

"Oh my God, you were so right," Caitlin cries, grabbing one of Jess' arms. "The water is perfect." Travis nods his agreement. "Hey, you guys have been here more than we have," he says looking back and forth at Jess and Jon. "Are there any clothing optional beaches around? We haven't seen anyone here go bare. Is it allowed?"

"Technically, no," Jess answers. "If you're careful most places don't mind. At the far end of the beach, sometimes you'll see a few skinny dippers. There are some resorts closer to Tulum but I don't know if they have day passes, that sort of thing."

"How do you know?" Jon asks, clearly surprised. Travis and Caitlin laugh.

"I did a little research, in case I wanted to ditch you guys."

"Are you a committed naturist?"

Jess shakes her head at Caitlin. "No, curious, that's all."

"Oh, you have to try it," Travis says, looking at both Jess and Jon. "It's amazing. Awesome."

"Until you sunburn your junk," Jon growled.

Caitlin laughs. "Sunscreen, sunscreen, then more sunscreen, especially on parts of your body that have never seen the light of day." She grins at Jess. "Want to give it a try? Go topless?"

"I didn't lotion up the ladies," Jess says with a smile.

"So? Go do it. Here take my top and put it by my stuff, would you please?" With that Caitlin proceeds to whip off her bikini top and hand it to Jess. Travis winks at Jon. "You should go help Jess, make sure she doesn't miss any spots."

Not sure what else to do, Jon follows his sister back through the surf. He doesn't bother with a towel. "Are you really gonna go topless?" Jess smiles at him, pats his cheek. "Do you really mind?" Jon gapes at her. "Of course, I mind. I love seeing you topless and naked and fully clothed but Jess, this guy is hitting on you?" Jess laughs as she reaches behind her neck. "Little brother, you are so cute. Jon, he's hitting on both of us, or at a least us as a couple. I don't know if he's bi or just looking to swing a little."

"You think they want to have sex with us?"

"Oh my God, Jon are you serious? Of course, that's what they want." She smiles at her brother. "Caitlin is smokin', darling brother. She might be just what the doctor ordered."

"The doctor didn't order shit. I don't want anyone but you."

Jess puts a hand on her cheek. "That's sweet and I love you for it but it's not really true. You'll want plenty of other women. That doesn't threaten me. Wanting and having aren't the same thing. I hope you'll have other women not just want them. I want you to find someone you can love and have a life with." She kisses his sad face. "But for the rest of this vacation, I'm yours, we're a couple; I won't do anything you don't want to be a part of, or don't want me to do. If you don't want to fool around with them, even if it's just a bit of nude sun bathing, say the word."

"Do you?"

"It could be fun, don't you think? Did you get a look at Caitlin's tits? Didn't they look luscious?"

"Jess, have you fooled around with other women?"

Her smile is her answer. "Would that bother you?"

"No," he admits, a rueful grin lightens the look on his face. "That sounds hot, to tell the truth." The grin fades. "Travis was staring at me, while his wife put lotion on his back. I had my eyes closed, mostly, but I could see him staring at me."

"Dude, I told you he wasn't just checking out me. You never fooled around with Mick or Jeremy when you were younger?"

"Huh? No!"

"You never jerked off in front of each other or anything?"

"No!"

"Relax, brother. I thought that was pretty common, that's all. If you don't want to have contact with Travis, just tell him. That may be a 'no starter' for him but so what?"

"Uh, Jess, have you done this, a threesome?"

"Threesome? No." She grins, "it was a foursome." Jon stares at her, jaw dropping. Her grin fades. "Alex was one of the four, so I'm wrong. It was a threesome. Alex is always solo, even in a group."

"Holy shit! What did you do?"

"Well, that's kinda personal, isn't it? Ate a little pussy, sucked a little dick, fucked a little." Jon's eyes grow wider and wider. "We never worked our way up to DP."

"You did this more than once?"

"A few times, yeah."

Jon shakes his head. "Fuck. You most think I'm a joke."

"No, I do not think you're a joke!" Jess snaps. She's pissed. "Why? Because you're inexperienced? So, what. Jesus! Jon, you are, by far, the best, most wonderful, lover I've ever had. I don't want you thinking I've had a million men between my legs. Alex and the guy from the other couple. That's it. So chill, little bro. I'll be content if I find someone half as good in the sack as you. I guarantee you, you'll knock Caitlin's socks off, if you relax and treat her like you've treated me." She kisses his cheek again. "Are you gonna put lotion on me or should I just stand her with my tatas hanging out the rest of the day?"

He rubs the sunscreen over her breasts. His cock is hard when they finally turn toward the water. If anyone is shocked by the sight of his sister's naked breasts they keep it well hidden.

Jess concentrates on the feel of his hands on her breasts, hoping that doing so will hide the tumult in her mind. Yesterday, when she spotted Travis and Caitlin eyeing them, the idea of a foursome had been exciting. Today, her hope is it will distract Jon and help him understand he can have fun without her. She hasn't lied. The idea of hooking up with Caitlin is intriguing and it isn't like Travis is hard to look at. She's desperate to show Jon that they can find lives, and fulfillment, without each other. With every step toward the smiling couple, waving at them from beyond the break of the surf, her belief in that idea dwindles. She wants nothing more than to turn, grab Jon's hand and run.

I can't do that to him, she tells herself, as she forces a smile onto her face and waves back.

***

Caitlin's breasts are nice but they do little to lighten Jon's mood. He tries to smile, or chuckle, at the right points in the conversation. He's aware of Travis' eyes on him. He makes an honest attempt to determine if the attention bothers him or flatters him but his mind keeps returning to Jess. Whether happenstance or intent, the other three gradually move further away from him. He stretches out atop the water and lets the surf roll beneath him. The sun blazes through his eyelids. He wonders about letting the current carry him out to sea. He could drift and drift until he was too far away to swim back. Drowning didn't strike him as particularly scary but getting torn apart by a shark terrified him.

"Jon! Come in closer! You're drifting too far!"

He hears Jess' voice at the same time his brain begins to contemplate being eaten alive as opposed to simply drifting gently into death. He lowers his legs. He's shocked by how far he's drifted out. He starts to swim in. When he raises his head he's further out than ever. He forces himself to relax, while at the same time sneering at how he was ready to accept just this fate a few seconds ago. He waits until the ocean raises him high and points down the beach. He's more afraid of Jess trying to swim out to him than anything else. He quits trying to swim against the riptide and swims perpendicular to it, angling toward the beach. He's a good swimmer. He doesn't let himself flail at the water. He paces himself. He can almost feel when he swims out of the riptide. He's made some progress toward the beach. He turns toward it and swims. He pauses every so often to wave at Jess and to make sure she's not swimming out to help him. He's a strong swimmer but he's breathing hard and his arms are quivering when he finally feels the sand beneath his feet and he can stand.