Jessa Ch. 04

"But you did tell me," she pointed out.

He sighed. "You're not the only one who breaks rules."

"So she does hate me."

"No." He paused for so long, she looked over at him, thinking he was done with her questions, but he seemed to be chewing over his answer. He sighed again. "You aren't the only one who wasn't in the market for a mate." Jessa stared at him. He glanced at her, then quickly away. "What I do doesn't make me the best candidate for husband."

"What you do for the council?" she asked softly.

He nodded. "The Council told me I had to go; had to find a 'progenitor.' I wanted to fight it, but then I discussed it with Mother. She convinced me to go. That my family could supply whatever I was lacking as a husband. The Council had given me files of all the women who would be there. I read through them all. I figured it was just going to be a marriage of convenience; I'd make the best genetic choice and start making babies to please the council. Any woman I picked should have been thrilled to become Titled, wealthy. What could go wrong?"

"Me," Jessa answered.

"Yup. I told you I picked you the first time I saw you. That wasn't exactly true. I picked you before I even got there. Not that I wasn't thrilled when I realized who you were after I saw you."

"Then why didn't you just take me that first night," she said bitterly.

"I was egotistical enough to think I could seduce you into wanting to come. That day on the cruise, I had great romantic plans, then you fell asleep in the deck chair."

Jessa laughed despite herself. He continued. "I knew I had time, because there was obviously no competition for your affections. Then, that evening in your room, I thought I had finally succeeded in winning you over. I foolishly thought that telling you I was a lord would seal the deal, as you kept saying."

"So what is it you do for the Council?" she asked.

"I can't tell you that." He looked over at her. "Why don't you want children?"

"I won't tell you that," she answered feeling obstinate. "Torah, if neither of us wants this, then why are we here? Why can't we just go our separate ways?"

"You know the answer to that."

"'Because you don't fuck with the council,'" she quoted. "And here we are heading into the lion's den." She wrapped her arms about herself, staring morosely out the window. After a while, she drifted off.

Voices woke her up. Torah was on a cell call that was coming through the speakers in the car. "You're on speaker, Erich," Torah said, glancing over at Jessa.

"Hi, Jessa!" a bodiless voice called out.

"Um, hi?" she replied.

"Were you able to get something set up?" Torah asked.

"So easy, it was spooky," the voice called Erich said. "It'll be late, though, 'cause they won't let you out of decon until they have the results. You might want to plan on staying at the apartment."

"Yeah, I figured."

"Give me a call when you get there. I'll bring some food over."

"Thanks, man. I owe you."

"I know. I'm keeping a ledger. See you in a while."

"End call." Torah said.

"Is this Dusseldorf?" she asked, looking out at the window at an abandoned city.

"Duisburg, but we are getting close." She rubbed her arms as she looked out at the broken windows and rubble-filled streets.

"Feeling okay?" Torah asked.

"It's just... I can't imagine so many people living like this."

"When we get to the occupied sector of Dusseldorf, you'll get a better feel for what it was like. Most of the cities had a lot of years to get like this," he said, gesturing with his chin at the empty city.

She looked over at him. "Do you think it will ever get back to the way it was, people living in big cities and being able to hop on a plane and travel half-way around the world?"

For a while he didn't answer, but she could see his jaw working, and just a brief flash of anger in his eyes. Then he finally spoke. "Before we get back to any of that, we need to figure out how not to make the same mistakes." He looked over at her. "I'm not sure we're capable."

"That makes it sound like the pandemic was our fault," she said. He didn't answer. "Torah?" He looked over at her and she suddenly felt self-conscious. She dropped her eyes. "When we're married, will I be allowed to know what you know?"

He reached over and raised her chin. "Probably more than you ever wanted to know." He ran his thumb across her lips, even as he glanced at the road ahead and the mirror. "I loved hearing you say that. Say it again."

"When we're married?" she asked.

He answered by stretching over and giving her a quick, chaste kiss before returning his attention to the road.

She sat back, rubbing her arms again. "I'm trying, Torah," she said softly.

"I know you are. I don't want you to change, Jessa. When I saw your file, I knew I wanted you to be the mother of my children. But when I saw you at Summer's End; the way you swam, the way you played volleyball, the way you handled the drunk jerks, even the way you resisted me, I knew I wanted you to be my wife. I want you to be the same Jessa, moving on to a new stage in her life. And I want it to be with me."

They were passing through a more residential area, and it seemed even more haunting, full of empty houses where children used to play and neighbors gossiped. Some of the houses, with stone or brick walls seemed almost untouched, but elsewhere, only scattered walls and skeletons stood, victims of weather and vegetation run wild. They passed through an extensive burned out area. A car passed them, going the other way, the first one she'd seen outside of the small town they'd passed. She noticed with curiosity that Torah watched the car very closely, even after it had passed, his eyes on the mirror more than the road ahead. Then Torah told her they were entering the outskirts of Dusseldorf. In the distance, she could see tall buildings at the city center. "Is that where we're headed?" she asked, pointing.

"Yes. There's a hospital this side of the city center. That's where they'll run tests to make sure we're not infected. I have an apartment in a high rise down there. We'll spend the night there."

"And the Council uses one of those buildings?"

"Several."

"Oh." She was hugging herself again. He reached over and took her hand, so different from the way he was usually pulling her around by her arm.

"It's going to be fine, Jessa. And you'll get to meet Erich. You'll like him."

A short time later, he was pulling into an underground garage, managing to park without releasing her hand. He took out his cell and finally he had to let her hand to go to tap a message into the phone.

"What now?" she asked.

"We wait. They'll come down for us."

A few minutes later, she gasped as elevator doors opened and four people in bulky white suits covering them from head to foot emerged. They had tanks on their backs with attached hoses, and they proceeded to spray a foggy substance all over the car.

"It's just a decon team," he assured her as if it was an everyday occurrence. "I probably should have warned you, we'll have to take our clothes off. They'll fog us, then give us scrubs to wear." She reached for his hand as one of the men in white opened her door. "It's okay. I'm right here with you." He climbed out his door as it was opened and hurried around the car to help her out. He pulled his own clothes off, then helped her out of hers.

"Close your eyes and hold your breath as long as you can," he instructed as hoses were pointed at them. They were enveloped in a fog. The suited men paid extra attention to Jessa's hair, and she was glad she was practiced at holding her breath from years of swimming. Then Torah was helping her into scrubs. They gave her a hair net and she bunched her hair into it as best she could while Torah dressed, then two of the men in white were leading them to the elevator. Torah shouted a request that they recharge the car after they decontaminated the inside. One of the men waved at him.

There was a flurry of activity when the elevator disgorged them onto a floor with even more white suited people scurrying around. Their vital signs were checked and tubes of blood and other bodily fluids were taken. They even had them breath into tubes, collecting any byproducts from their lungs. Eventually, they were led to a hospital-type room with a couple of beds. They were instructed to shower with the special soap they would find in the bathroom, and then to wait for test results that could take up to three hours.

Jessa was holding herself again when she turned to Torah. "Do you want first shower or second?" she asked, trying to calm herself with the mundane.

He took hold of her by the elbows. "It's going to be okay. It's just a precaution, that's all."

"Antibiotic on a cut is a precaution."

"Sh!" he hushed her sternly. He turned her and steered her toward the bathroom. As soon as he closed the door behind them, he was stripping out of his scrubs, then pulling hers off too.

"Torah," she protested half-heartedly.

"I just want to be sure you get every square inch clean. In you go," he said with a playful swat on her ass. She was still just sore enough that she jumped and triggered the hot steamy water. He stepped in behind her and turned her around. "Get your hair good and wet and I'll shampoo it for you. It'll probably take several tries to get that insecticide out of it." Her arms were still sore enough, and his fingers were skilled enough at massaging her scalp, that she couldn't come up with a single complaint. She even moaned in pleasure at one point.

"Maybe you should have been a hairdresser," she murmured.

He laughed. "I do Mother's hair when Mia is away. Mother doesn't tolerate slouches." When he was satisfied that her hair was thoroughly cleaned, he began washing the rest of her. She tensed at first, and he turned the sudsing into a gentle massage of her back and shoulders, and almost without realizing, she began to relax.

He braced her hands against the shower wall, then knelt down and began washing a leg, lifting it to cleanse even the bottom of her foot. When he set it back down, he had spread her legs somewhat, then even more as he gently washed the other leg. He stood and reached around to her tummy, then moved slowly up to her breasts, leaning close over her so that when she tried to straighten in protest, she ran into his broad chest. His hands tightened ever so slightly on her breasts, then they were swirling suds, teasing her nipples ever so softly with his palms. His hands trailed back down her belly, and farther, delving between her legs.

"Torah," she protested, but he still wouldn't let her straighten, and his leg was between hers, so she couldn't press them together. "Unh." His slippery, sudsy finger had found her clit, then it was sliding gently from clit to pussy and back again. "Torah, please," she said, gasping.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Jessa, but I need to be inside you," he whispered in her ear. He settled one hand firmly against her belly and the other maintained gentle contact with her clit as he slid the head of his cock slowly into her entryway. "Move or don't, as you wish, Jessa. I just want to be here, as close as possible to the most incredible woman I've ever met for these few minutes in time."

True to his word, he was utterly motionless, and Jessa went from being surprised at the lack of pain, after the violence of yesterday, to an overwhelming desire to hold him just a little bit deeper, pressed against her sweet spot even as the slight pressure of his fingers was enflaming her clit. She didn't want to do it, had no intention of doing it, but then she was pushing back against him, flexing her hips until his tip was against her magical nexus. She gasped in the steam of the shower. How could this cock buried in her be so cruel one minute and so absolutely perfect the next. Then she was rocking, just a fraction of an inch, a bump, bump, bump against her sweet spot along with the slight friction of his fingers against her clit. In a matter of a minute, she was crying and shaking. He was holding her up with one arm, pulling out, stroking himself and spraying his come on her back to be washed away by the shower. Then he was easing them both down to the floor of the shower, under the relentless spray of water, and holding her as she continued to shake and cry.

"Why did you do it," Jessa asked, once she felt under control again. "Why did you pull out?"

"I told you I wouldn't hurt you. You feel so damn incredible when you're wrapped so tight around me, I wasn't sure I could keep that promise if I stayed inside you. Believe me, you have no idea how bad I wanted to stay," he added ruefully. He kissed her forehead. "Come on, we need to get out of this shower. If the hospital sends me a bill for the hot water, it might bankrupt me." He helped her to her feet, then helped her dry off and pulled a robe about her, carrying her out to one of the beds before he dried himself and donned the second robe. When he went back out into the hospital room, it looked like she was asleep on the bed. He debated, briefly, then climbed onto the bed behind her and curled up against her.

After a few minutes, she said, "Are you twins?"

"What?" he asked with a puzzled frown.

"How can you be so angry and cruel one minute, and so kind, and gentle and thoughtful the next? I never know which Torah you are."

After a long moment, he said, "Sometimes I don't know myself."

****

Torah was shaking Jessa awake. She rolled over, not remembering for a moment where she was. Torah shook a piece of paper at her. "See I told you, nothing to worry about. Everything is negative."

"So we got gassed for no reason?" she muttered, climbing off the bed.

"You have a fun story to tell our children."

"Fun? How warped are you? And how come you get to be dressed? Where are my clothes?"

"We have to find out what's going on in your belly. They sent your clothes up there. Come on." He was back to pulling her around by her arm. She followed, padding in bare feet, as he led her to an elevator and another floor. They were met by someone not wearing a white decon outfit which was a huge relief.

A few moments later, she found herself on her back on a gurney with an elderly woman gazing down at her with a gentle smile, and Torah on the other side, holding her hand. "I'm Gemma," the woman introduced herself. "I'm a gynecologist. I'm going to see if I can figure out what's going on with you. I have to warn you, though, if it doesn't have to do with female plumbing, I might have to pass you off to someone else. To start with, show me where it hurts." Torah squeezed her hand; Jessa didn't know if that was for encouragement, or a warning, but she pointed out where the ache was centered. That was followed by a lot of poking and prodding and embarrassing positions. At one point, Gemma cocked an eyebrow at Torah, saying, "Her cervix is inflamed. Maybe consider a little less enthusiasm?"

The poking and prodding was followed by a prolonged ultrasound, at the end of which Gemma gave Torah a hard look. "An ultrasound is not conclusive, an MRI would be better but this doesn't rise to the threshold for that test. It looks to me like a ligament has been torn. Maybe a lot less enthusiasm is warranted. It should heal well enough. Give it a few days to see if there is improvement. If it isn't better," she said sternly, "I want to see her back here." She looked directly at Torah. "You should stay in the city, till she feels improvement."

"We will," he said firmly.

"Then take her home and feed her. And keep your hands off her for a while," Gemma said. "Or if not your hands, your other parts. Have I made myself clear?"

"Perfectly," he agreed.

Jessa felt like an inanimate object being discussed between the two of them. She noted with interest that Gemma's crest was clearly displayed on her medical coat. She was Eighth Circle, outranking Torah. With renewed interest, she looked at Torah's clothing, and noted that even though he was back home, he still wasn't wearing his crest. She searched her memory, while Gemma and Torah continued discussing her without her participation. She could remember Mia and Bona wearing small but distinct crests, and Shonah also. Even Mia's oldest children had been wearing crests. She looked again at Torah's chest with a puzzled frown. As if he had suddenly remembered she was there, he glanced at her, then did a double take at her puzzled expression.

"What?" he asked.

"Can I get dressed now?" she asked. He glanced at Gemma, who nodded.

Torah helped her to sit up and brought her dress and sandals over to her. Jessa had pulled the dress over her head and Torah was zipping it up the back when Gemma handed her a card. "This is my direct number. If you have any pain, any questions, you call me." Jessa nodded, even though she hadn't brought her cell phone with her. She was so used to it not finding a working tower with her network, or cutting out even when it was in range of a tower, it never seemed worth keeping track of.

Before she realized it, Torah was pulling her to an elevator and they were descending back to the underground garage. "Are you mad at me?" she asked.

"What? No!" he exclaimed, standing in front of her and cupping her face. His thumbs traced across her cheek bones. "You've been very strong today. And very well-behaved," he added with a smirk. "It's been a lot to absorb. Why would you think I was mad at you?"

"She... Gemma... It sounded like she thought it was your fault," Jessa struggled to explain.

"Listen to me. Gemma is no fan of mine. And it is my fault. She absolutely loved scolding me. And I needed to be scolded. Jessa, listen to me," he repeated. "I won't promise that I will never punish you again. In fact, given your obstinacy, I probably will. And I will enjoy it. But I swear to you that I will not hurt you like that again. There are certain parts of the body that should be for pleasure and nothing but pleasure. I forgot that, but I won't forget it again."

He was leading her out of the elevator and toward the car. "Torah?"

"What?" he asked, opening the passenger door for her and helping her into the seat. She waited until he had reached his side of the car and was climbing into his seat.

"Why don't you wear your crest? I mean, I get why you didn't at Summer's End, but why not now?"

He started the car and maneuvered out of the garage, pulling onto the street before he answered. "Sometimes, the things I am called upon to do... It's best if they aren't associated with the Circles or the Council."

Jessa felt a cold chill run down her spine. She tried to shake it off. "Where are we going?"

"To my apartment." He pushed a button on the steering wheel and said, "Call Erich."

Jessa could hear the sound of a phone ringing, then Erich's bodiless voice. "Hey."

"Hey," Torah answered. "You're on speaker. We're on our way. Be there in ten."

"Guess I should start cooking then," Erich responded.

"That'll be the day," Torah scoffed. "One pepperoni and one sausage."

"Already delivered," Erich assured him.

"Well then the least you can do is warm them up," Torah countered.

"Done and done. Get your butt up here."

"End call," Torah said, glancing over at Jessa. "I hope you like pizza."

"What's pizza?" she asked.

"Oh, girl! You're in for a treat," he chortled. A moment later, he was pulling into yet another underground garage. He parked and looked over at her. "My home away from home. I have a confession to make. I'm not the best housekeeper and since lowborn servants aren't allowed in the occupied sector, it might be a little raw."

"Raw?" she asked, not really wanting to know what that might mean.

They got out of the car, and he hooked it up to the charger, pulled a small bag out of the trunk, then he led her to the elevator. They rose to the thirty-third floor and she felt dizzy just at the concept of being that high. She was actually grateful for his grip on her arm as he led her to a door and slid a card that unlocked it. They entered a large room and Torah said "Damn!" Jessa was looking around trying to see what had upset him, but she saw nothing out of order. There was a couch, chairs and a media center. Fancier, but not much different from her house back in Parvil Region.