Jessica's Secret Diary

"Jack, come up here," Abi hissed.

"What?" I called.

She came to the top of the stairs. She had dressed quickly in running shorts and a tee shirt. From the way her breasts swayed as she leaned over she hadn't bothered with a bra.

"Come up here, I want to show you something." She turned and moved away.

I struggled up and pulled on a pair of sweatpants and my own tee shirt from the previous day.

Abi was at the end of the upstairs hall, standing outside her Mom's bedroom door. The room my parents used was opposite. Abi's room was at the near end of the hall and the large family bathroom opposite that.

"What do you want?" I whispered, then laughed, "Why are we whispering?" I asked.

Abi stood from where she had been crouched up and laughed back, "Fuck knows," she said. "But come here I want to show you this."

She stepped into her Mom's room. I shrugged and followed, curious now and also a little excited. What if she wanted to show me herself? What would I do? I knew what I wanted to do, but could I? What I was thinking was wrong, and would almost certainly repluse Abi. I liked her too much to want to spoil our relationship, and decided that I was going to be strong. What we had was too precious to ruin it with my raging hormones.

Abi was sitting on the edge of the bed reaching into a bedside drawer. I saw her move a couple of things around inside then pull out a small black book.

"Here," she said. "This is Mom's diary. I had no idea she kept a diary."

I sat beside her and took the book from her, turned it over.

"It's got a lock," I said.

"I know," Abi groaned. "Why do you think Mom's got a lock on her diary? It's not as if she's got anything to hide, is it?"

"Are you so sure?"

Abi shrugged, and her free breasts jiggled wonderfully inside the thin cotton of her tee shirt, "I don't know. But I'm curious now."

I turned the book over again and looked at the clasp. It was a strip of leather, stitched to the back cover, with a push lock on the front. I turned it to the light and peered more closely.

"I think I could get this open, if you really want," I said.

"Could you?"

"I can try. But are you sure you really want to look in here? What if you find something you don't want to know?"

"What on earth could Mom put in there like that?" Abi said.

"I don't know, but whatever she wrote I'm pretty sure she didn't mean you to read it." I felt uncomfortable.

"Jack, please, see if you can open it for me," Abi cried.

I looked around the bedroom. "I need something small, a paper clip, something like that."

Abi jumped up and ran through to her room, came back in a moment with a handful of clips of different sizes. I picked one that looked about right, opened it out then twisted the end back between my fingernails. I tried it in the lock, then twisted it some more. The second time I could feel the latches inside the lock.

"Where did you learn to do this?" Abi whispered.

"College buddies," I said. I turned the clip one way, another, and suddenly the lock gave a click and sprang open.

"Gimme," Abi said, holding out her hand.

"In a minute," I said, and looked the lock over, drew it almost closed again until I felt the resistance of a spring latch.

"What are you doing! Don't lock it again!" Abi cried.

"I'm just checking we can lock it again. I wouldn't want to have to try to lock it back up in a hurry." I handed the journal to Abi and stood up.

"I'm not sure how comfortable I am with this, Ab," I said. "I'm going down for some breakfast. I'll leave you to it."

Abi pushed her bottom lip out in a pout, but I ignored her and left the room.

I made toast, had washed up my plate and was drinking a second cup of coffee by the time Abi came down. Her hands were empty, and there was a small frown pulling her brows together. She sat across the table from me and leaned on her elbows.

"Satisfied?" I asked.

She looked at me, nodded, then gave a quirky smile. "I never guessed Mom was..."she searched for words, then shook her head.

"Did you find anything to upset you?"

"Depends what you mean by upsetting," Abi replied. "Disturbing, possibly, but upsetting... not sure..."

I waited, saying nothing.

"I haven't locked it yet," Abi said. "Would you like to take a look...?"

I gazed at her, trying to make up my mind. Abi's eyes were bright and her cheeks were flushed. I couldn't help noticing that her nipples were also hard, forming peaks through her tee shirt.

"D'you think I should?" I asked.

Abi nodded. "I put it back in the bedside drawer, but I haven't locked it."

I got up and ascended the stairs, walked slowly to the end bedroom. The drawer was still half open and I reached in, pushing other stuff aside and then looking in, intrigued by the feel of something. Lying along the side of the drawer was a long dildo. I stared at it, then lifted it out, raised it and sniffed. A faint scent of female musk remained. I was just returning it to the drawer when Abi came in.

"Yeah, I saw that too," she said.

"You know what it is then," I said.

Abi punched me on the arm. It was getting to be a painful habit. I reached back in and pulled out the black leather journal.

It looked old, and I sat and turned back to the first pages.

"I only read the last part," Abi said softly.

"I'm curious," I said, "when she started writing it.

I laid the first page flat and looked at the date written in blue ink on the top line. Aunt Jessica had started the journal on the 1st January twenty years ago, when she had turned eighteen. Abi leaned across, her breast pressing against my arm, and I started to read.

I really don't know if I should be writing this down or not, but I have to do something or I think I'm going to go mad.

My name is Jessica Stewart and I am eighteen years old. My sister is Sam, and we are identical twins.

Something has happened, and I'm not sure if it's good or bad. I want it to be good. I really want it to be good, but my head tells me it's bad. I think Sam is just as confused as I am and I don't know what will happen.

I'm putting this off, so I'll just start:

This afternoon Sam kissed me, and I kissed her back. It wasn't a sisterly kiss, not at all.

We had been messing around all day, talking about boys and what a waste of time they were. Sam was teasing me, as usual, and said had I ever kissed a girl. I said No, of course not. But Sam kept on and said had I ever thought about it, not even just once?

I tried to change the subject, but she just kept on, and I admitted that yes, I had thought, but I'd never tried it.

Sam said she had started to wonder what it was like. She told me she was disappointed in the boys she'd gone out with, all they wanted was to feel her up and get inside her panties. She said she wanted something nicer. That's what she called it: nicer. She said she thought kissing a girl might be nicer.

This went on for a while, and then somehow we got around to saying we should try it.

Sam kissed me first, full on the lips. It wasn't the first time, we always kissed on the lips, it was just the way we greeted each other. But this was different, longer, different because I knew the intention behind it was more than our usual kisses.

Sam kissed me once, and then kissed me again, for longer, and I let her tongue open my mouth and then I kissed her back. We kissed like this for a long time, maybe ten minutes, then Sam put her hand on my boob and I stopped her.

She looked disappointed, but she did stop. That was earlier today. Now I just have to write this down. I feel confused because I enjoyed it. I stopped her when she touched me, but that was a reflex. I'm beginning to feel now I wished I hadn't stopped her.

I sat back and breathed out a long breath I hadn't known I was holding.

"Wow," Abi said. "Our Mom's are wild!"

January 3rd

We kissed again today. And more.

Mom and Dad had left us on our own while they went into town. Sam came up behind me and put her arms around me and pulled me back against her. I could feel her breasts pressing into my back, and the tips of her nipples like pencil points.

Sam kissed me on the neck and I felt my knees go weak. I've been thinking all the time about what we did the other day, and I realised I wanted to do it again.

I turned around and put my arms around Sam's waist and kissed her full on the mouth. This time I made the first move and cupped her breast. Sam sighed and I felt her smile within our kiss. I ran my hand over her breast, cupped it and rubbed her hard nipple, all the while kissing her.

Sam pulled away and said "We need to talk, Jessie"

I nodded at her. "This is wrong, Sam," I said.

She grinned. Sam always did that when things were about to go too far. "I guess," she said, "But I still want to do it. Don't you?"

I looked into her eyes and then nodded once. "I do," I said.

Sam began to undo the buttons down the front of my blouse, and I just stood and let her, let her push it back over my shoulders, and when she touched me on the shoulder I knew what she wanted and turned so she could unclip my bra. She lifted it off from behind me and cupped a hand over each of my boobs. It felt so good!

Sam turned me back and started to kiss my breasts, licking my nipples, pulling them into her mouth and nipping them with her teeth.

"Sam," I gasped, "this is more than just kissing!"

"Want me to stop?" she asked.

"No," I said.

Sam stood up straight and unbuttoned her own blouse, dropped it to the floor and then unclipped her bra. It was like looking in the mirror, and when she pulled me to her and our naked breasts touched it took my breath away. We hugged and kissed some more and then Sam began to lift my skirt and stroke my butt. She pushed her hips into mine and ground them against me.

"I want to make you come, Jess", she whispered.

"Oh Sam, please, this is wrong," I moaned, but I knew I was making only a mock protest.

Sam fumbled and found the catch on my skirt and that joined my blouse on the floor. I stood in just my small white panties while my sister gazed at me. She smiled, licked her lips, and then slid her fingers into my panties. She probed and I felt her fingertip touch my clitoris and I almost cried out and came immediately. I pushed my mound onto her hand, wanting her fingers.

Sam pulled my panties down and pushed me. I stepped back and the edge of the sofa caught my legs and I fell backwards. Sam stood over me, looking at me lying spread before her.

I had never done what I did next – I slid my own fingers into my pussy and started to slip them in and out. I had masturbated before, often, but never in front of anyone else. I felt completely out of control.

Sam watched me pleasuring myself, then removed her own skirt and slid her panties down her long legs. She knelt in front of me and put her hand on mine. She smiled and said, "Let me do that..."

She pulled my hand away and replaced it with hers. She ran the back of her index finger up and down my slit and then pushed the knuckle so that it pressed on my hard clitoris. She repeated this three or four times, then slid the finger inside me.

"You're soaking, Jess," she said.

"I can't think why," I giggled, then said, "I want to touch you too, Sam."

She smiled and pulled my hips so that I slid off the sofa, then laid me on my side so we were face to face. She put her fingers back inside me and I reached down and touched her there as well. She was wet too, and hot. I had only ever touched myself before, and twins we might have been, but touching Sam was so very different to touching myself.

We kissed again, and I kissed her boobs and pushed my fingers in and out of her wet slippery sex and I think when I came Sam came at the same time.

I thought I might feel guilt then, afterwards, or now when I write this all down. But I don't. I only feel love.

Abi was breathing loudly beside me, and I looked across at her. She had one hand over her shorts and was pressing her hand hard into herself. I suddenly felt as if this had gone way too far. But I was also feeling incredibly aroused.

Abi looked at me, aware I had seen her. Her eyes were alight, her beautiful lips parted.

"Do me a big favour, Jack," she said.

"What?" I asked, waiting.

"Can you give me a bit of privacy?" She gave a little smile, bit her bottom lip. "About five minute should be plenty."

That hadn't been quite what I had expected, but I nodded, "Sure."

I got up and walked out of the room.

"Close the door, Jack," Abi said. I turned and pulled it shut, closing off my view of her. She had pulled herself up on to her mother's bed and just as the door hid my final glimpse I saw her reach to the bedside cabinet. I stood leaning against the door, trying to breath, as I heard a faint buzz start up within the room.

I turned and started along the hallway, then turned back and went into Mom's bedroom. I closed the door behind me and pulled my sweatpants down. My cock was on fire and stuck out huge and inflamed. The uncircumcised head had pulled fully back and I was slippery with the fluid that leaked from the tip.

I lay on Mom's bed and rubbed myself in long steady strokes, my eyes closed, my mind alive with a vision of my mother and aunt naked, pleasuring each other. I could feel my approaching climax and slowed, trying to extend the moment. The pressure passed, and I ran a finger over the hole in the top of my cock and spread fluid over the head, sliding it all around, then began to stroke again. A new image formed in my head, of Abi with her long slim legs spread, her pussy parted around the big dildo. That thought sent me over and I started to come, spurting stream after stream over my stomach, crying out as the ache filled my balls and erupted from me.

I cleaned up with the tissues Mom kept on the bedside table, and out of sudden curiosity opened her bedside drawer as well. It was empty, and I smiled.

I was just pulling my sweatpants back up when I heard a car pull into the drive. I dashed into the hallway and banged on Jessica's door, stage whispered, "Abi, they're back!"

"That's okay," Abi said, from behind me, and I turned to see her come out of the bathroom.

"You were quick," I said.

"You were loud," she replied.

"We need to talk," I said.

Abi nodded, "Yes, I think we do."

Groceries were packed away and lunch made. I made my bed back into a sofa then sat and watched, seeing my mother and her twin in a new and, frankly, unsettling way. Each time they smiled, each time they brushed against each other, I was imagining their touches had a different meaning to that of yesterday.

I noticed how their hands often lingered, brushing against the side of a breast, over a buttock or alongside a thigh. I realised they had always acted this way, but with my new knowledge their actions now became filled with an enormous erotic potential.

My Mom and her sister were lovers, still, I was sure. And I struggled to make sense of my own feelings. I was turned on, more than I had ever been before, but I was also confused. I should not be feeling this way, turned on by my mother and my mother's sister. What I was feeling was wrong, what I wanted was wrong.

I got up suddenly and said, "Swim."

"Lunch in thirty," Mom called.

I grunted and went to the bathroom to change, plunged into the pool and pulled fast laps, pushing myself until my muscles burned and my chest ached. I stopped, breathing hard, to see Abi walk across in her bikini. She grinned at me and dived in.

"Race," she said, when she surfaced.

"You must be joking!" My breath was still catching in my throat.

"You forfeit then," she said, "Ten laps only," and rolled into a crawl.

I turned and followed her, but knew what the result would be. She finished the last lap when I had still not turned at the end. I swam slowly up to her and splashed water on her stomach. She was standing in the shallow end of the pool, water running down her flat stomach, over her navel which went in exactly like my Mom and aunt's, the water running down over her bikini briefs. The water of the pool lapped the top of her thighs, touching the point where they met. The material of her briefs was soaked and clung to every contour and fold of her body.

"Okay, " she said, "I think I won that one."

"You did," I said.

"What forfeit can I think of," she said, and slid down into the water so her face was level with mine. She stared at me for a long time, looking deep into my eyes.

"A kiss," she said. "I want a kiss off you. But a proper kiss, not our usual one. You know what I mean, Jack, don't you?"

"Now?" I said.

She glanced over my shoulder. "They can't see. And besides, after what we know about them, they can hardly object, can they?"

I gazed at her, at the wet curls framing her face, her deep brown eyes and long lashes, the small nose, wide mouth and perfect chin.

I leaned across to her and she tilted her head and parted her lips. I touched those lips with mine, and let my tongue flick out and run across her teeth. Abi opened her mouth wider, put her arms around my shoulders and pulled me hard against her, pressing her breasts to my chest. Our tongues darted and played, our mouths relishing the intimate contact. We kissed for minutes, then I felt Abi's hand slide down my stomach, over my waist and rub once along the hard length of my cock and then away. She pulled back and broke our contact.

"Mm, good," she nodded. "I always thought it would be," she added.

"You always..." I stuttered. "You planned this!"

"Oh Jack, of course I did. I've wanted to kiss you like that since... well, since forever, or at least since I realised you were a real boy and not just a cousin."

"Shit." I whispered.

Abi grinned, "I want another race after lunch," she said. "Different forfeit"

"What if I win?"

"In your dreams, bub."

Yes, I thought. In my dreams.

We didn't get the chance after lunch because our mothers wanted to shop for new swimwear and Abi decided to join them, leaving me alone in the house. I tried to watch TV, to read the paper, but there was only one thing on my mind. Eventually I gave in and went upstairs to my aunt's bedroom.

I flipped through the pages of her journal and noticed it was not a continual record. There were long gaps, sometimes months, between entries. As I scanned through key phrases would jump out from the page and I stopped to read a section more fully, following the growing intimacy that developed between the sisters. And then there came entry for the summer when I must have been about ten.

August 12th

We're all on vacation together at a big old cabin on a lake. I had the surprise of my life when I was washing up and Tim came up behind me and grabbed by boobs and rubbed himself against my butt. I was just about to yell when I realised he thought I was Sam!

I went along for a while, wriggling back against him, then made some excuse and went outside.

I was a couple of hours thinking about what had happened, and a really wicked idea kept forming in my head. Just before supper I took Sam aside and proposed the idea to her.

"Sam, you know how we always joke about our husbands finding it tough to tell us apart?"

She laughed, "Yeah. Mike kissed me yesterday. I hope he thought I was you and he wasn't making a pass."

"The same happened to me," I said. We both laughed, then I went on," But I wondered if you might want to try a swap."

"A what?"

I grinned. "It's wicked, I know, but we both know we're wicked anyway. D'you think we could get away with pretending to be each other tonight?"

"You mean, like, all night?"

I could see a gleam in Sam's eye, and I knew I had hooked her. "But they're bound to notice," she said.