Jill and I Ch. 08-10

"I can't live without her. Isn't that what love is all about? I'm miserable without her and I need her in my life. I'll do anything to have her with me. Now I have to go find her."

Chapter 10. Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

February 11th, 2012

Jeff and I left early for Kansas City. It was just after 7am when we left. We were both up early, anxious to get on the road. We had a full breakfast and made the trek in 5 hours. It's about 275 miles from my parents house to the outskirts and then Jeff drove to the section where the strip joint was that he remembered when he worked and lived there. We got there just after noon. Of course, he was willing to put up with me getting up and getting there early, but he knew, and I didn't, that the strip joints were not going to be open that early. The one he remembered as the G-String was now called Curves. It was a Saturday and would open at 3pm. We had a few hours to kill. Of course, I was anxious as hell, but he managed to calm me down and we drove to another one up the street a few blocks that was called Donnie's. It would also open at 3pm. Seemed to be the standard in this area. They were both open from 3pm to 3am. We finally drove to a Denny's and I tried to relax as we had lunch. It was 1:30pm when we finished lunch and he suggested he show me where he lived. I acquiesced only because there was nothing else to do. We drove about 5 miles away to a nicer area and he showed me the apartments where he lived. They were nice, but not that nice.

"I was barely scraping by, so this was the best I could do back then."

I could see what he meant. The area around it was okay, but it was close to some sketchy areas. We drove around a little more and then back to Curves. We waited and we saw a few men, both of whom looked like bouncers, and a few women enter. I wanted to go up there, but Jeff told me they wouldn't even talk to me until it opened. Finally, at 3pm it opened and we were waiting. I opened the door and was assaulted by loud music already playing and it was so dark that I almost felt blind coming in from a sunny day. Finally, my eyes adjusted and there was a women in a booth there charging a cover charge. I told her what I wanted.

"I'm just looking for a woman named Gina. Is the manager named Gina?"

"No, 5 bucks cover please."She was smacking her gum and looked completely bored or stoned.

"No, I don't want to come in." I was interrupted by Jeff who thrust $10 at the woman and dragged me into the club. We looked around. There was nobody on stage yet, but as soon as we arrived a couple of girls got up from the bar and one took the stage. The other waited for us to find a table to sit at and then approached, asking if we wanted something to drink. Jeff told her we wanted two Bud Lights and she left. Jeff leaned over and told me to let him do the talking. The waitress came back with the two Bud Lights and it cost $12 for two beers. Ouch!

"Want a table dance?" We both looked up at the small waif who had appeared on Jeff's left side, away from me. She couldn't be more than 5' 1" tall and probably weighed about 100 pounds. She was cute, very young, and already looked a little bored.

I couldn't hear much over the volume of the music, but Jeff must have asked how much it was and retrieved a bill from his pocket. He handed it to her and she started gyrating and rubbing up against him. I watched how she rubbed up against his crotch and then, after removing her top, rubbed her tits all over his face. Jeff just smiled at me and enjoyed the dance. When it was over he patted the chair next to him and she sat down. I was getting a little irritated at how he was enjoying this, but then he leaned over to me. "Patience. I'm going to see what I can find out from her."

The waitress stopped by and the dancer ordered a drink, which Jeff paid for. Then they continued to talk and finally Jeff turned back to me and nodded. He stood up and gestured for the door. We walked out and I was blinded going from the darkness of the club to the bright sun. We got our vision back and Jeff told me what he found out.

"This girl and a couple of her friends have danced at a couple of clubs. I gave her your description of Gina and she said that she runs a club a little closer to downtown called Reggie's. Maybe her real name is Regina." He grinned and threw up his arms. "See? Aren't I good?"

I laughed. "Yeah, you're good. You even managed to get a lap dance out of it."

"Hey, that was all in the name of helping my brother." He clapped me on the back and pointed to his car. "Okay, let's get moving. Time to find your woman!"

We got in and drove down a fairly large four lane road that was lined with strip malls, fast food restaurants, gas stations, and other small offices and stores. Finally, we came to a major intersection and Jeff pointed to the right. "There it is."

I saw it then. Reggie's. It looked like all the other ones except for the name. It was a square building with no windows and seemingly deserted. There were no cars in the lot that we could see. Jeff made a right and pulled in and then we could see that the main entrance was on the side and there were a few cars there. We got out and went in.

We were again assaulted with music too loud, a room too dark, and a cover charge. This one was $7. We walked in and sat down and I got my first look around. There were two stages at either end of the room; both raised about 4 feet, with chairs lining the rails. The center of the club was small tables and you could face either stage from there. The most shocking thing was that the dancers were completely nude. I watched as one did the splits on stage and left nothing to the imagination. Jeff just punched me on the shoulder and laughed.

"Don't look so shocked." He laughed and I tried not to show my concern that this was where Jill's best friend worked and she might be here, too. Jeff was motioning to a waitress. He leaned over and talked to her and she looked at us for a couple of seconds. She left and came back with two Bud Lights. Ugh! I really do hate light beer.

The waitress left and I watched as she went and said something to the bartender who also stared at us for a couple of seconds. Then she walked to the phone and made a call. Two minutes later, Gina came out of a hallway that indicated the bathrooms were back there. Obviously, her office was as well. She was wearing shorts and a tank top, braless of course. Her nipples were on high beam.

She gave us a wave once she knew she had our attention and motioned us towards her. We got up and went to her. She turned and led us back into her office. Her ass was outstanding and I could see Jeff checking it out.

We sat down in two chairs in front of her desk that she pointed to and then she sat down behind her desk. "Hello, Dennis. What do you want?"

I didn't know what was colder, the temperature outside on a blustery February day or the tone of her voice. I gave her a look like she had to be crazy to ask such a stupid question, and then stated it. "Jill. I want to see Jill. Oh, and this is my brother, Jeff."

"She doesn't want to see you. Hi, Jeff." Jeff nodded.

"Why not? What happened?" I was confused. "I thought we left it that we would continue to try to have a relationship."

"Nothing happened. That's the point. She said you were holding back and not going to commit to a relationship any time soon, so she decided it was best to call it off. She just wants to get on with her life."

"But she quit her job and left town. Why did she leave like that? I didn't even get to see her or talk to her or hear this from her. I just need to see Jill."

"Well, that's the way she wanted it. She doesn't want to see you. Just leave and go back to your safe little world and your safe little friends." Her sarcasm was thicker than her dancer's eye makeup.

"No. I want to see her. I want to talk to her."

"Not going to happen. Just leave and get on with your life. You are too white bread to handle her."

Now I was getting mad. "Fuck you, Gina. I want to see her. I need to talk to Jill, not her sanctimonious asshole friend."

Gina smiled at that and picked up the phone. "Bob, I have two guys in my office. Will you please come escort them out of the building? Thanks."

Jeff stood up. "Okay, Gina, we get it. You don't have to call the bouncer. We're leaving."

I stood up, too. "I want to see Jill! Where the fuck is she Gina? Tell me where she is!"

At that moment the door opened and a guy who looked like he bench pressed cars for exercise stepped in. "This way, gentlemen." He stepped aside and waved his hand out the door.

There was no way around this, but I was determined to try something. Then Jeff grabbed my arm. "No problem. We're leaving." He tugged on my elbow. "C'mon, Dennis. Let's get out of here."

I followed him out, fuming and trying to control my temper in front of this human mountain.

As soon as we got outside, Jeff stood there and stretched. "Okay, let's head back."

I looked at him like he had three heads. "What the...."

Jeff grabbed my arm again. "There's nothing we can do here. Let's go." He motioned with his eyes behind us and I turned to see the bouncer still standing there, casting a shadow like a skyscraper.

I let Jeff lead me to the car and as we approached it, the guy went back inside. Jeff turned to me. "Dude, you need to learn to control yourself and be cool. Gina was not going to say anything and that guy could crush both of us. Just be quiet and leave willingly. Then we plan our sneak attack."

"What sneak attack?" I was still fuming, but managed not to yell.

"We'll follow Gina home. She's here already, so that means that we will either see Jill stop by to see Gina or just follow her home. Okay?"

"Okay." I begrudgingly acknowledged that he had a point. I conceded that I had lost my temper for a second.

Jeff looked around. "Look over there." I could see he was pointing at a Jack in the Box across the street. "We'll just pull over there and park along the side and watch and wait for Jill to come see Gina or for Gina to go home. See? Easy."

"Yeah." I was still angry. "Sorry about that in there."

"Sorry for what? You are looking for the woman you love, so you are going to be a little nuts. Love it nuts. It's all nuts."

I looked up at him and could see he was smiling and poking fun at me. I finally smiled and relaxed. "Thanks a lot, asshole."

"That's what brothers are for." He grinned and started the car.

We pulled across the street and got something to drink. I love vanilla shakes and had one of those. We sat and then used the bathroom and sat some more. Finally, about 9pm, I saw a car pull into the parking lot of Reggie's. I knew it was Jill's.

"Jeff, that's Jill's car."

Jeff sat up and watched. We saw Jill get out and head for the strip joint. "Okay, they won't let us back in, but we can just wait for her to come out, okay?"

He looked at me and I nodded. "Okay. We wait."

We waited for about an hour and then Jill and Gina came out and got into Jill's car. They left and Jeff had us ready to pull out by the time they turned onto the main road. We followed. They were oblivious to us following them and they drove slowly to a steak restaurant and got out and went inside.

Jeff looked over at me. "Ready?"

I nodded. "I have to see her."

"I know. Let's go." He got out of the car and I followed.

We entered and were greeted by a young woman asking us if we had a reservation. Jeff shook his head. "We're meeting someone."

I spotted them in a booth along the right hand side and approached. Jill was facing me and Gina had her back to me. When I got about 10 feet away, Jill saw me and her eyes went wide. Gina immediately turned around and saw me, too. Gina started to stand up and say something, but I was too quick. I closed on their table and immediately slid into the booth next to Jill. She was stunned and said nothing.

I decided to try honey, as my mother would say. "Hi, Jill. You look gorgeous." I turned to Gina. "Hi, Gina. Sorry for following you guys."

"Just get up and walk away, asshole. I told you she didn't...."

Jill shut Gina up by putting her hand up. Then she looked at me. "Why are you here?"

"I've been trying to reach you for 6 weeks and you haven't answered one voice mail or email, that's why."

She looked down at her hands, her voice was icy. "I don't want to talk to you; I thought I was making that obvious."

"Why?"

She looked up and challenged me with her eyes. "I could tell you were holding back and couldn't commit to having a relationship with me. We joked around a little, but I could tell you were not going to take the next step. I left because that would make it easier on both of us. I can't deal with you and it's time to move on."

"You quit your job and left because I couldn't commit? How do you know? We only went out the two times after meeting with Dr. Benson and never even finished the second date."

"I didn't quit my job. I only took a leave of absence. I plan on going back there next week. And as for us, I could tell at my apartment that if you hesitated when it came to even kissing me, then it wasn't going to work."

"Why wouldn't you tell me this on the phone? Why did I have to drive to Kansas City to find this out?"

She looked away. "I don't know." She was still solid ice.

"Sure you do." I looked around the restaurant. No time like the present to do the deed. "Jill, you know that I love you, and you still love me."

She looked up suddenly. "Yes, but that's not enough." There might have been a little thawing, but she was still glacial.

"Well, I decided that if you'll give me another chance, then that is enough. Whadda ya say?"

She stared at me. I guess that was a little too upbeat and flippant. "And then what? What do we do? Date and be friends with benefits? Are you trying to be like all the other guys I know? Just come over whenever you need to get some pussy?" She was getting angry, and I knew why. We had agreed to the arrangement that we had, but she obviously wanted more. Well, I did too. I was just afraid to admit it until I had asked my mother for that ring.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out my grandmother's ring. I turned fully towards her and stared at her. She couldn't see the ring yet. "Jill, you know me better than that. You know we were doing what we said we would do that day in the doctor's office." I stopped there, trying not to be coy or leading her down the path I wanted to go, but I couldn't resist pausing.

"I know. But I can't do that from now on." She looked at me with those piercing eyes, searching for my meaning.

"Why?"

"I'm in trouble with you. I never had this problem with a man before. Dr. Benson says I always pushed men away, but you got in. I can't be around you. It hurts too much."

I pulled my hand up and laid my grandmother's engagement ring on the table. "Not even if it's forever?"

Jill stared at the ring and the entire restaurant seemed quieter as everyone at the table's attention was drawn to the ring.

Jill looked up at me. "Is that what I think it is?" The cold exterior was showing cracks.

"If you think it's an engagement ring, then you are correct. It's my grandmother's engagement ring and she left it to me to give to the woman I love when I asked her to marry me."

She stared at me and then looked over at Gina. Gina and Jeff were sitting there trying to be wallflowers. Jill took a deep breath and turned back to me. "There's something else you should know before you ask. I'm pregnant."

I stared. I was stunned. How could she be pregnant when she was on the pill? "I don't understand. How can that be possible?"

"I don't know. They say the pill is not perfect and well – I guess I'm proof." She wouldn't look up at me.

"Then you'll just have to marry me."

She looked around the table. "Are you asking me?"

"I came here, before knowing you were pregnant, to ask you to marry me. I can't live without you and if you'd answer your damn phone, I would have told you that already. The fact that you're pregnant does not change that." I picked up the ring and held it up. "Will you marry me, Jill?"

Jill sat there, staring at the ring. "But.. but...." The glacier had thawed and now the waters were beginning to run... down her face.

I put my finger on her lips. "I love you. I want you. I wanted you before I knew there was a child. I don't know how I will react if someone brings up your, well, history, but no matter what happens or what I say, you will always be the one I love. I'm the romantic one in this relationship, so I'll say it. We'll find a way to get by and raise kids and live happily ever after."

Jill looked up at me and smiled. She threw her arms around me and buried her face in my neck as she let loose a few short sobs. She held me so tight I thought she was going to cut off the circulation to my head. Finally she pulled back and took a deep breath. "That's a yes."

I grinned and looked over at Jeff and Gina. Jeff was sitting there smiling and Gina was almost crying, too. I guess she never figured that that's what we were here for and she was happy for her friend. I put the ring on Jill's finger and she stared at it.

The waitress then came over and interrupted us. We all ordered drinks and then Jill turned back to me. "Well, I know where you can have the bachelor party." Gina almost spit out her drink and started laughing.

I put my arm around Jill. "Well, if you insist. I'll have to see if any of those dancers know how to dry hump your fiancé."

Jill harrumphed. "On second thought... no way!"

I grinned. "But I've never had a lap dance."

Jill smiled at me and patted me on the arm. "Honey, you are going to get plenty of those." Hmmm. She's just patted me in a condescending manner and called me honey. Maybe she was more comfortable with the idea of marriage than I thought.

"How much is it going to cost me?" I grinned and poked at her.

She held up her left hand with the ring on it, which almost fit. "Only the rest of your life."

I hugged her. "I can live with that."

We ate dinner and by the time we left, I knew that we had a chance to make it. It might not be easy and there would be work, but I loved the damn woman and I wasn't about to let her go now.

May 27th, 2012

I sat there in the chair staring at the vision in front of me. Jill was swaying to the music, her now swollen belly starting to get really big. She was naked and facing away from me, shaking that delicious ass. I reached up and ran my hands over her ass. She turned and grinned. She leaned over and shook her tits right in my face. I slowly licked first one and then the other nipple, eliciting moans from her. She held my head right at her tits, moving back and forth from one to the other. I moved a hand down over her swollen belly and onto her very wet pussy.

"Now this is a lap dance!" I continued to move from tit to tit.

"Oh, god, being pregnant has made me so fucking horny!"

I released her left nipple. "As if you needed to be any hornier."

She smiled. "Complaining?"

"I have the sexiest, most beautiful woman in the world, giving me a lap dance while pregnant with my child. No complaints here."

Jill reached down and grabbed my throbbing dick. "I can see that."

"What are you going to do about it?"

"I'm going to fuck you into next week."

"That won't work."

"No? Why not?"

"Because by tomorrow morning you'll be horny again."

"You're right. But I can still fuck you. I can still make you cum all over my swollen belly."

"There's never been any question about that."

And she proceeded to do just that. She fucked me until she and I were left exhausted on the bed.

Epilog

Jill and I are now the proud parents of a little girl, Anastasia, named after Jill's favorite fantasy when she was a child. As far as her past goes, I'm mostly over it. She makes sure I know that she loves me and that I'm the most important thing in the world to her. I told her she proved that on New Year's Eve, but she says she intends to keep reminding me. I don't mind at all.