Joanne Sterns

Even the judge smiled and agreed that would be a waste of court time. My assets, all six hundred dollars of them were taken into consideration and Beth was told to pay the court costs. For months afterwards Beth kept coming to Danny's door. She was well pissed that she only had Danny and his wife to talk to. My brother told her that as soon as I had left the courthouse I had disappeared again.

*******

Joanne put a big red ring around the date I was supposed to go back and get my papers. She was adamant that she didn't want Beth within three hundred miles of Cascade and to be honest I would have doubled that distance. Nothing much changed in those six months, I still worked at the shop, Joanne still had her computer classes and on the weekends we took Becky out for picnics and days out.

Both the new women in my life were willing to let me alone for those six months, oh don't get me wrong I still got asked questions about weddings and who we should invite, Joanne was nothing if not insistent. But I took it in my stride, hell I even had Becky sat in front of the counter once writing my last name over and over again on a piece of paper until she ran out of room.

"Do you want me to get another piece of paper sweetie so you can continue to practice?"

She picked up the paper and took a real long look at it before shaking her head as she placed it back onto the counter.

"Nope. I figure I've got it just about right now thanks."

She slid off the stool and went and joined her mom who had just finished her lesson. Both waved and left for the evening. I looked at the paper for a moment, left a note on the window saying I would be back in ten minutes and walked over to the general store. When Joanne came in the next morning she noticed the paper in a frame behind the counter and cried.

I had to put the notice saying I would be back in ten minutes back up while she composed herself again. Once her reserve of tissues ran out I had to get another box from out back.

"It wasn't me, I swear to God I didn't put her up to it Mark, you have to believe me."

"I didn't say you had. I thought it was cute, you should have seen her Joanne. Her tongue sticking out, her concentration absolute, I have never seen anyone take so much time and effort on a name. Heck when I was old enough to write it down I had never taken so much effort over it and it belonged to me."

"She doesn't want her biological father in her life. In her eyes she has you for a father figure now and he simply doesn't measure up."

Joanne's friend wandered into the shop about then and the conversation about Becky ceased. I still found myself looking at the framed piece of paper from time to time and smiled. I had little doubt that soon after the divorce was final we would marry, the truthfulness of this woman was plain to see. Her friend left a few minutes later yet Joanne continued to sit at her desk looking out the window.

My hearing may have deceived me for a moment, I actually thought I heard a sob come from her desk. It was just as the smile faded from my thoughts those five words that drove a stake through my heart and marriage to Beth came from Joanne's work desk.

"Honey we need to talk."

I put what I was doing down, my hands were shaking that much that I didn't feel I could hold onto the circuit board much longer anyway. When I looked at Joanne even she looked worried.

"Macy has just phoned over to Jason. It seems my ex has taken a room at her boarding house. His already asked Macy where he could find me."

At that point the emotional damn within her just let loose. She sat back in her chair and cried, I was next to her in seconds my arms around her holding her tight to me as another emotional wave broke against her defenses. Each tear and cry burst from her like an unrelenting assault on her sanity, her arms held me tight to her. Mentally she clung to my presents as the thoughts of her ex husband in the same place she now called home terrified her.

Thankful that no one came into the shop as I held onto this frightened woman, the minutes ticked by and I just waited her out, she would come back to me when her emotions calmed. It was the hiccups that heralded the end of her misery. It set us both off with giggle fits, we ignored the time, Joanne's sanity was way more important.

"You think I should talk to him?"

It was perhaps the questions I was expecting and dreading at the same time.

"His come here for a reason honey, you can either ask him yourself or get Macy's version once the distorted grapevine information seeps down to our level."

Joanne nodded her head and I stood, placing the chair back next to her computer station when I did. She sat for a while longer then pulled air into her lungs and stood facing me. The redness of her eyes may need a moment longer to hide the sadness that poured from them yet the determination in her and the set of her jaw told me so much.

The tissues were placed on the table and her arms wrapped themselves around me before we kissed. We came up for air and her voice although strained had a determined edge to it.

"I have two classes today can you cancel them please. I need the rest of today off, if you cook dinner tonight I will join you around seven. Plan on me spending the night and fuck the fact you're still married for another three weeks."

Other than nod my head I didn't get a chance to say much else. Joanne gave me a kiss on the cheek and walked out. Macy's small army of gossips told me that Joanne turned up at the boarding house and took some guy away. Other than that it was dependant on who you listened to as to what happened after that.

I had dinner ready for seven, Joanne walked in five minutes later. It was better for me to let her talk first and other than asking for the salt I didn't get much out of her for the duration of our meal.

*******

Joanne's commentary lasted for about an hour as we washed the dishes and huddled together on the couch. She drove over to Macy's Boarding House and her ex was on the porch waiting for her. He got into her car and they drove to the diner over in Freetown, it seems her ex was now serious about someone enough to want to get married again.

The ex was moving across country due to a job promotion and taking his soon to be wife with him to get married there and told Joanne that even though he saw nothing of Becky he would be seeing even less of her once he moved. Joanne then marched him into the lawyer's office and got him to sign his daughter over fully to Joanne. In exchange she would decline any child support from him, from the way Joanne spoke he couldn't put pen to paper quick enough and that saddened me.

Becky was just so beautiful, she didn't deserve what was going on around her, yet part of me always thought that she sensed some of it. Perhaps that was why she wanted nothing to do with her real father, I watched the focus she had on writing my name on that sheet of paper. It still made me smile when I caught myself looking at it at least twice a day as I worked.

Joanne's words eventually trailed off, she still had her wine in her hand occasionally watched it swirl around in the glass.

"I know I'm going to have to talk to Becky about her father. When I do I'm going to need to spend time with her. Your own divorce is due in three weeks, I'm going to tell Becky in two weeks and take her away for a week."

She adjusted her position so she could watch me.

"This is the point of no return Mark, you have always known my end game. At first I believed Becky and I deserved a happy ever after, which is part of the reason we came here, then I met you and when I got to know you I quickly realized you needed one as well. I love you honey, Becky does as well."

Looking back on my life here in Cascade I had seen the roots I had put down, more so when Joanne and I became a couple. We both knew that once we were married I would have to move out of the shop, living above it was fine when I was single but we all deserved the white picket fenced house and the 'to do list' for the weekends. I was ticking the days off, we all were.

But Joanne had to take Becky away she needed to bond after her mom told her that her father was no longer her father. He had walked out of their life with the divorce now he had cut his own daughter out of his heart.

The next two weeks were a mix of business, Joanne doing her classes and in the spare time sorting out a week in Florida for them both. In those weeks Joanne brought Becky into the shop twice, both times she bounced around the shop all excited telling me that her mom and her were going on holiday for a week.

My own heart ached since I knew the reason for the holiday and I had to fight the urge to wrap my own arms around her and tell her that soon she would get her wish. That she would get that name that she spent so much time and effort writing onto a piece of paper and above all she was loved so much by the two people in that room.

*******

The day Joanne and Becky left Cascade for Florida I closed the shop and headed back to what was once my home. Danny told me that Beth had been by twice a week since I had left, he even joked about telling her that he would get his own restraining order against her if she didn't quit knocking on his door. The threat didn't work she still came back anyway.

I managed a day with Danny and his wife before Beth found out I was back. Danny looked out the window to see who it was, looked at me and told me it was my business not his. He joined his wife in the kitchen and I opened the door, Beth smiled opened her arms and went to hug me. My hand on her chest kept her just out of reach of doing just that.

"What is it you want Beth?"

"Mark we still have four days, please stop the divorce honey and come home."

"Are you done?"

Her arms lowered and she looked at me, confused.

"What?"

"It's a simple question Beth, are you done bothering me, because I have things to do. I'm back for the divorce papers Beth and once I have them I plan on framing them and putting them on my bathroom wall as a memory to how a marriage should never be."

It was clear she was going to say something, me being in the mood I was in, I just turned around and went back inside closing the door when I did. Part of me expected her to knock on the door again. I joined my brother in the kitchen so who knows how long she stood outside.

Danny was getting tired of me being the first to the door waiting for the mail to arrive. He got so fed up one day that he sent me out of the house, I couldn't blame him and they both understood that the papers were the only thing keeping me here. My meeting with Karen was unexpected; I was walking around the store buying a few things to take back with me when a familiar voice came from behind me.

"Mind if a girl buys you a coffee stranger?"

Thankfully I didn't have anything in my hands at the time, although I'm sure by the look on my face I telegraphed my answer to her.

"I'm kinda fussy about who buys me a drink Karen, in your case I'm going to come out and tell you not a chance in hell, that way you understand just how much I want anything from you."

Karen just couldn't help herself.

"She still loves you, you know?"

This time I took a step closer to her, Karen instinctively took half a step back.

"I see you're getting hard of hearing in your old age so I will say this real slow so that even you can understand me. Our marriage died the day you came back, got naked and rubbed bodies together to see if you could start a fire. If your going to go with the 'she has a need' or even 'it's a woman's touch she needs once in awhile' then let me know so I can head for the bathroom to loose my lunch."

My first thought was that I had said enough, even an old couple had stopped to listen to our conversation and there was no doubt others would soon follow.

"She cheated and with you, then you both decided that it was me that had to live with it. Now given my history Karen do you really think that conversation was going to have a happy ending? Beth knew what was going to happened which was why she cleaned out the bank account."

Another woman came around the aisle and although she looked at the shelves it was plain to see she just needed to get closer to what was going on.

"I have no interest in her or you anymore. She couldn't keep her promise to me or the minister and keep her panties on, that made her untrustworthy and therefore divorce material. In a day or so I get what I want and that's away from the bitch, I'm getting on with my life, get on with yours."

Their seemed no point in sticking around so I left. Even the cart got left in the aisle as I made my exit, going back to Danny's meant I would stew on my confrontation with Karen so the park seemed to be the best place to go and cool for awhile and treating myself to an ice-cream as I walked the paths round the park.

Beth was waiting for me when I got back to the car.

"I'm sorry."

My mellow mood took a hit about then.

"We both are Beth. The day Marcus Connelly came up to me in college and told me about you and Karen I beat the crap out of him, and then Sarah Chadwick said the same thing two weeks later. It was Tara Sinclair next and then Toby Watson about a month after that, I had no choice but to apologise to Marcus for what I did to him. But I loved you enough to let you get whatever it was out of your system, after all we weren't married and I kept telling myself it was a phase."

When I looked at Beth she had tears in her eyes, the lump in my throat made it difficult to continue but I had to say it all.

"When college ended and Karen left you came back to me both in body and spirit and in my eyes it was a phase but when she came back I knew. I'm sure you have a way to justify what you did in your head and are just dieing to tell me it. But you know what Beth, I just don't care. I married you not her and I've come to realize that all I was doing was keeping you warm until she came back."

Beth was frantically shaking her head, I still didn't want to hear it so just continued talking.

"Love is black and white, what you did was pick the bits you wanted to call love and toss the rest. Love is unconditional yet you found a way to place conditions on it with the stunt you pulled with the 'honey we need to talk' scenario."

This time I sat next to her on the hood of my car, her gentle sobs of no comfort to me.

"I tried to pick the best bits out of our marriage and hold onto those thoughts, but you know what Beth. Even they are tainted because the day Karen came back it wasn't a marriage anymore. Between you both you wasted two years of my life and I can't even look back through our childhood and pick the best bits out of those anymore since every scene that plays in my head has Karen hovering in the background."

It was time to leave. I knew I wasn't being fair by not letting Beth explain herself but so what.

"I'm sure there where times in our marriage that you loved me yet you both chose to start your affair behind my back. The day I got down on one knee and asked you to marry me would have been the time for the 'honey we need to talk' conversation."

Beth finally moved away from the front of the car and although my anger over all this had eased it was still my parting words to her that drove it home to her.

"I'm a one woman man Beth, you knew that yet chose to ignore it, if you could ever find a way to give me back the years that you both stole from me then come and talk to me. Until then leave me alone and both of you just stay away from me and my family and perhaps we can one day laugh at all this."

Although she tried to smile and nod her head she knew the last part of my conversation with her was pure sarcasm.

*******

Danny dragged me down to the bar to shoot pool that evening, I get the feeling he had been practicing. He cost me two beers since the looser had to buy them, we reminisced and I told him of my one way conversation with both Karen at the store and Beth at the park. When he asked me if I had got it out of my system now? I had to think for awhile, before I nodded my head.

The divorce papers came the next day. My first thought was to let Joanne know. Yet I couldn't do it, Joanne and my little munchkin had to have their time, Becky would get her wish we would see to it. I was packed and hugging Danny and his wife two hours later. We all knew that they would be joining us for the wedding, I'm not dumb, Joanne would have talked to Danny's wife about that already.

The sign for Cascade finally come up after a tiresome journey home and I smiled, the diner got hit first and then the store for a frame. Beth may have thought I was joking, I wasn't. The nail went in and the papers hung nicely on the bathroom wall although there was little doubt Joanne would insist I take it down. We already had Jason looking for a house, Cascade was where we met and this was where we planned to stay.

I opened the shop the next morning and other than take bookings for Joanne's computer courses it was business as usual. Jason came by telling me that he had two houses for viewing and had booked them for a couple of days after Joanne and Becky had returned. As he turned to leave he noticed the frame on the wall of Becky trying to write her first name and my last name.

"I've got one of those, Becky did it a month or so ago."

Since we both knew the reason for the sudden holiday and the silence from them both we tried hard not to bring the topic up. Suddenly the shop door burst open and a blond bullet shot across the shop and into my arms. Little arms wrapped around my neck and clung to me ever so tightly.

Joanne came into the store and noticed the limpet attached to me. She smiled and even managed to blow me a kiss before she hugged Jason. I could hear muffled words as Becky spoke into my chest, finally she pulled her head back enough to look directly at me.

"My name is Becky Fairfax, mommy says I can have the name now but she has to marry you as well. Do you want to marry mom?"

For the first time in many months tears welled up and I found it hard to see the angel in my arms, the lump in my throat didn't help when I went to talk either.

"Yes honey I'm going to marry your mom and just as soon as we can arrange it."

Becky tilted her head slightly as a thought struck her.

"When mommy has the baby will the baby be called Fairfax or will we need another lawyer to go after my old daddy to sign new papers?"

Although maternal instinct is very strong the shock of her question almost made me drop her. We all looked at Joanne who was now beet red and nodding her head. Jason was ever the pragmatist and helped Becky down and hand in hand they left the shop and headed back home. Joanne hadn't moved in all that time.

I closed the shop door and put the sign up that we were closed for ten minutes before taking her hand and headed up the stairs. The glass of water sat in her cupped hands and didn't move, she had calmed some more now. At least she could breathe in and out without her body shaking.

"To much rich food perhaps?"

"Nope, it's caused from an injection of you into warm parts of me, stir and leave to settle. I started feeling sick the second day in Florida, by the fourth day I took the test and cried, Becky came in and asked what the white piece of plastic does so I told her it changes people lives."

"Well since neither of us are going for the big wedding lets go see the justice of the peace and get the ball rolling."

Joanne looked up at me as I stood over her, my hand out waiting to lift her off the couch.

"I'm not trying to trap you Mark I swear to God I'm not. I don't know what went wrong, I just don't."

This time I sat down next to her, she held the glass of water in one hand and sought out mine with the other. Our fingers interlocked and I sat smiling at her, waiting for her to turn to look at me so she could see.