Journal of an Agent Ch. 30

"Like I said, it's fine. I've got a pretty hefty drive in front of me and I should probably get on the road," Sarah said. She kissed me on the cheek. "Call me if you leave town after all, or call me if you don't. Hell, just call me soon, ok?"

"Ok," I said to her, Sarah turning around and heading out the door slowly, closing the front door softly behind her. The house was empty now as Natalie and I looked at each other, neither knowing really what to say. It was strange being in such a large house that a few hours earlier had been so festive, only now it was like a brightly lit tomb, the tension between Natalie and I making things even more intense.

"Here, let's go sit down Natalie," I said in a calm voice, ushering her back into the living room. She took a seat on the sofa and I, not wanting to imply anything, sat opposite of her.

"So, what's going on? Sorry to hear that Episode II isn't going to beat out Spiderman for the summer box office haul," I said, making chit chat.

"Yeah, but I'm not too worried about that. I've gotten paid my part, so I'm happy," Natalie replied. "Let's talk about what happened between you, me and Jacob,"

Here we go, I thought to myself. "What's there to talk about? You left me for him, in particular for the money and the false illusions he offered you of even better representation," I said coldly.

"You never let me explain myself Dean, you just hung up on me. Which, I might add, was very childish of you," Natalie replied, her lips pursing together.

"Fair enough. Well, you're here now, so speak your piece," I said.

"I intend to. First off, this had nothing to do with money. I was in a bit of a rut when Jacob first came to me. I was gearing up to start doing the Episode II promo stuff, finishing up with exams at school and, well missing you a lot," Natalie said. "I was very vulnerable and Jacob quickly seduced me with the same sort of charms and whiles that you used with me,"

"So you slept with him too, is that it?" I asked incredulously.

"Like you didn't fuck around while you were out here and I was at school!" Natalie said, raising her voice slightly but catching herself. "Anyways, when I came out of the sort of fog I was in, I realized I had made a terrible mistake. But by that time, all that stuff between you and Jacob came to a head and I probably picked the worst possible night to call you and apologize,"

"That you did. But that was over a month ago. Tell me, why didn't you call me since then?" I asked.

Natalie fidgeted with her hands in her lap. "I...I didn't want to make you even more upset. I didn't want to risk blowing any chance I might have had of getting back together in the future. So I waited. And I was in LA this week for a few press interviews and Damon called me and told me about the party. I waited to come till later because I know how you get with a bunch of people around, always busy go go going," she said, smiling up at me.

"Anyways," she continued. "What I've realized is that I can't be with anyone else. Not knowing that you are there for me if I need to call hurts. It hurts me deep and it pains my soul. I tried hanging out with some friends, even dating some non-celebrity guys, but it just didn't seem to fit together. I felt hollow, empty,"

"How do you think I felt? I gave and I gave and I gave, being there for you and committing myself to you and even saving your life on that one night with Julie. And then you turn around and cheat on me by leaving my business and sleeping with my half-brother? I could tell you a thing or two about feeling empty, that's for sure," I said to her bitterly.

"I know. And I could sit here and apologize to you till I became blue in the face. But I know you, and I know that you don't put a lot of faith in apologies. But I know you and I know how your mind works. More importantly though, I know how your heart works," Natalie said. "That's why I have a proposition for you,"

"I'm listening," I said with a sigh.

"First, come sit over here by me," Natalie said, patting the couch. I moved to the couch and turned to face her, Natalie taking my hands in her own, her fingers resting on mine.

"I love you Dean," Natalie said. "I don't mean for the sex or the money or even the things we've been through. I mean that I love you as a person and as a soul mate. I want you to tell me that you don't love me back. I want you to be able to look me in the eye and tell me that, because I know that deep down you love me too and you think we should be together as well. That's what I need to know, I need to know if you feel the same. If you don't, I will leave and not come back, and we may never see each other again," Natalie said.

"I do love you Natalie," I said, my eyes becoming lost in her deep brown pupils. "But I mean, how do you know for sure that you and I were meant to be? We have both been through a lot and given my lifestyle here in Hollywood I don't see how we could avoid running into those same problems again,"

"Then leave. Leave Hollywood and come back with me. Come East. We both have enough money to live the rest of our lives out in comfort, we could buy a house near my school and live there till I graduated, then maybe even get married. Just come with me, back to where your roots are," Natalie said, squeezing my hands tight.

Here it was. My opportunity out of Hollywood, my destiny now opening before me like a blossoming flower, a future with Natalie. But did I want to leave, in spite of what I said and felt? I just didn't know...

I turned away from Natalie. "I can't. I can't decide to that, at least not right now Natalie. You can't just drop that on a person at once and expect them to come back with an answer,"

"Isn't that what this party was about though Dean? Weren't you planning on leaving anyways?" she asked, turning her head towards me.

"I don't know. I don't know what this party was for or about, but yes, the thought had crossed my mind. But don't try to write this whole thing off as fate with me wanting to leave and you offering a way out. I just don't buy that sort of thing," I said.

"Dean," Natalie sighed. "I'm not trying to put any of this in the hands of fate or any other sort of guiding power. I'm simply telling you how I feel,"

"I know how you feel, and I feel the same way. It's just...that's a big decision," I said.

Again, neither of us said much of anything. Natalie scooted closer to me on the couch; I could smell her skin and her hair, bringing back a flood of memories of our time together. We were both lost in our thoughts, but Natalie wasn't about to give up the fight yet.

Reaching out to me, her fingertips rested on my shoulder. She brushed them over my arm for a moment, nothing inherently sexual about it but still erotic in a strange sort of way. Natalie placed her other hand on my chest and put her palm over my heart, feeling it beat against her warm hand.

"This is all you need to listen to Dean. Nothing else matters," she said softly. Her hand moved from my chest to underneath my shirt at the throat of the fabric. Her fingers moved underneath the material as I sat rigid, torn inside by what I wanted to do. Her small fingertips moved down my chest, their tips a little cold but not keeping her hand from seeming to glow as it pressed against my skin. Leaning in close to me, Natalie gently kissed me on the lips, a soft kiss with more emotion than any of the feelings I had had earlier in this wild and crazy day. The kiss was only momentary, Natalie pulling her head away, but I tried not to express the feelings it stirred in me, keeping my defensive posture.

Natalie removed her hand from my body and, like Sarah only a little while earlier, began to unbutton my shirt. Natalie's touch was much more delicate though, in a way I don't think I'll understand. She glided the buttons away from the fabric with ease and within just a few moments time had it unbuttoned and off of my broad shoulders, my bare chest unmoving since she first touched me.

Natalie reached down and lifted my hand from her lap, putting it against her breast. She squeezed my fingers tightly, the tips pressing against her nipples through the blouse that she wore, trying to simulate I suppose the feeling of me touching her again. I went along with what she was doing as we sat there together, moving my hand ever so slightly at her guidance, noticing in the back of my mind that she was not wearing a bra. She moved my hand down to her leg and began to run it up and down smoothly over the material of her jeans, the warmth of her young body escaping from within as I caressed (with her guidance) the soft flesh of her encased thighs.

While her hand was guiding my own, Natalie removed her own blouse - indeed, no bra - and folded it neatly against the top of the couch, leaving it sitting there. I couldn't help but glance now at her small but firm breasts, the nipples that same incredible shade of color that showcased the true beauty of her body. My heart ached now, the feelings towards her returning. I shook my hand free of hers and continued to caress her legs by my own will, moving the other hand to her pants as Natalie leaned back against the couch, her chest rising and falling slowly.

She watched me as I touched the material of her jeans, part of me simply dieing to get at the flesh underneath, but my rational mind still trying to fight the good fight.

"Natalie," I said. "If this goes where it's leading then that doesn't mean that everything we each did will be ignored," I said to her softly.

"I know. It doesn't have to be. I'm sorry that I hurt you Dean, and I hope that you are sorry that you hurt me as well,"

I didn't respond, only continued to touch her legs, moving every now and then to the source of the heat of her body, the spot between her legs, caressing her zipper with one finger as I brushed over it non-chalantly. When my hand moved back down to her thigh, Natalie lifted her ass off of the couch and began to unbutton her jeans, sliding them down slowly over her legs, the skin tight fabric fighting every inch of the way.

She slid them over the tennis shoes she wore and leaned back on the couch, now clad only in the polished white sneakers and a pair of green and purple panties that she wore between her thin legs. As my hands made contact with her thighs, I knew that the rational part of me had lost, that my heart and body were acting on their own desires now. And what they wanted right now was to feel Natalie Portman's soft body against my own once again.

Continuing to rub her thighs, Natalie leaned over and undid my pants, sliding them down halfway to my knees. Her breasts hung down from her chest, her nipples erect from the cool air of the house, but by the feel of her skin I could tell that she was anything but cold. Moving to remove my boxers, I stopped her.

"Are you sure about this?" I asked.

"Yes. I have never been more sure of anything in my life," Natalie replied, her deep brown eyes holding me in her gaze.

"Then we don't need to do this down here. It's not proper and not right for someone like you Natalie," I said. I stood from the couch, my pants now falling to the floor. Holding Natalie by the hand, I led her up the stairs slowly, step by step, her small body moving behind me. Her curly brown hair now hung loosely over her shoulders and her mouth was pursed with excitement, the lust in her eyes growing seemingly with every step we took. But it wasn't the lust I was used to: it was more than that, it was a look of love. Of the body and soul acting as one towards and end goal.

I led her into the bedroom, flipping on the light as we moved to the bed. Thankfully my earlier encounter had left no evidence, and even though Natalie probably knew what was going on in here earlier in the day, she certainly didn't need any physical proof. What was done was done, all that remained now was what was going to happen.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Natalie stood in front of me and slowly slid off her panties. She pushed me backwards gently onto the bed - this was new for her, taking the sexual lead - and climbed on top of me, planting another soft kiss on my lips, then moving up to my forehead, where she parted my hair gently. I reached down and slid my boxers off, my hard cock popping out of them and landing on my stomach. Natalie grinned at me and began kissing her way down my body, moving her tongue over my left nipple, exciting a spark inside of me, my body tingling at her touch.

She scooted to the end of the bed and leaned down, my cock just inches from her face. Her lips moved to it, but rather than engulfing it right away, she kissed the shaft, the tip of her tongue adding a drop of saliva to it as she moved her hand down to hold it, stroking the head with her fingers.

"I had forgotten how good you taste," Natalie whispered, her eyes fixated on my cock as she began to jerk it off slowly, moving her small hand up and down my now throbbing shaft. Natalie's cunt gleamed in the light of the bedroom, the shadows of the night time and street lights outside filtering in through the window to give her body an angelic glow, her flawless skin and nude body a testament to the beneficial genes she had inherited. I remembered for a moment watching her on screen when she was so young, the child star beauty having changed now into a truly beautiful creature, a young and mature woman who was just growing into accepting herself as something amazing.

Natalie lowered her head to my prick now, her hot mouth allowing the throbbing organ to slide between her lips and into the depths of her mouth and throat, most of the rod disappearing into her cute little mouth, her cheeks dimpling as she closed her lips around the base. Natalie sucked on me gently, her cheeks billowing outward as she wrapped her tongue up and down my dick, taking her time to savor the feeling.

She lifted her head away again and moved back on top of me, still holding my cock in her hand. She straddled my legs and I could feel her warm sex growing closer to my dick as she leaned over me, her breasts just barely touching my chest as she held herself up by a few inches off of my body. The erotic sensations of watching her move, the grace, was almost maddening now, and I was trembling a bit as she began to ease the head of my dick into her pussy.

As the tip of my prick passed through her outer lips, all my thoughts and worries faded away. I was living just for this moment, for this time with Natalie once more. The head passed deeper into her channel, more of my shaft following as Natalie continued to guide my body into her own, the wetness and sheer heat of her cunt almost unimaginable. I wondered how long she had planned this, and if I had been too quick to dismiss her and her feelings for me. But I quickly lost track of that as Natalie pushed back hard on top of me, her small twat opening up inside like a delicate flower to take more and more of my dick inside.

The times we had been together had allowed her to experience and come to enjoy sex on much more than a physical level. She knew what turned me on and what to do to keep me from shooting my load too early. Her pussy had also learned a few tricks of it's own, being able to, after a few sessions with Natalie, stretch to meet my girth. Natalie was becoming quite skilled in letting my shaft enter her to the fullest, the head battering away deeper inside of her tight, young pussy. I pushed my hips up for the last little bit, and watched between Natalie's legs and my own as the shaft disappeared totally inside of her, only my balls visible now, hanging tightly in their sac at the base of her hot entrance.

With my dick fully inside of her, Natalie lifted herself away from me and settled down on my hips, grinding her young body around me as I was held totally inside of her, her inner walls just wide enough to accept my member but not so loose that the vice like grip that I had loved about being inside of her had faded. Natalie pressed her hands down onto my chest and began to work my cock in and out of her body, rising off of me gently so that my shaft pressed hard against her erect clit.

Natalie's brown hair swayed around her as she flexed her body in a belly-dancer style move, her firm tummy moving hypnotically while on top of me. Her dark brown patch of pubic hair just above her entrance swayed like a field of grass from her movements, as I reached my hands out to her hips and held onto her, guiding her movements on top of me.

"Fuck! I'm going to cum!" Natalie grunted, her body continuing to buck and writhe atop of my legs. Her pussy walls contracted tightly around my shaft, holding onto it as I felt her sweet juices spill forth from her body in orgasm, her thighs quivering from the rush of pleasure. My own hips were now rising off the bed as I penetrated her deeply, the shaft sinking into her as deep as possible with every thrust, my well worked cock head pushing against the base of her cervix, buried to the hilt in her sweet snatch.

Natalie moaned softly as I continued to fuck her, riding the wave of bliss that settled over her young body after her orgasm. She had needed to cum it seemed from the moment that I entered her, and having achieved her goal she was more than ready to keep going atop my shaft, her body now bouncing harder on top of me as I traced a finger to her tight ass and pressed the tip gently into the entrance of her asshole. Her pert hole tightened and gripped my finger instinctively but relaxed some as I continued to work my finger inside of her, keeping my thrusts in her ass in time with the rocking of my dick into her pussy.

I hated pulling out of her, but as I felt her asshole stretch wider to accommodate my finger, I suddenly had a burning desire to try for an even tighter hole - her ass - allowing my dick now to slide out of her, the shaft and head red and wet from her juices. Natalie moved closer up my thighs so that my now twitching cock head was rubbing between her ass cheeks, lubricating and smearing her crack with the sweet pussy juice and her own cum that she had spilled all over my prick a few minutes earlier. Reaching down, I lined the tip of my dick up to her ass, Natalie raising herself slightly from the bed so that she could allow me a better angle in which to plunder her last untouched hole. She winced slightly as I pressed the tip harder into her anal entrance, the muscles in her ass once again tight and resisting. I continued undaunted and pushed harder inside of her, feeling her ass give way to let my fat cock head inside her tight rectum, the shaft following quickly behind.

Wedging myself further into her, I met a lot of incredibly tight (but intensely sweet) pressure as I slide first two then quickly five inches of my dick further into her, her anal passage opening up more to let me in. Natalie looked a little pained by the entrance, but she had since moved her hand down and was rubbing her hard clit as a means of taking her mind off it.

I settled on only getting most of my shaft inside of her, afraid that pushing too much more in would hurt her, and proceeded to begin sliding my dick in and out of her ass, fighting the incredible grip that was a drastic magnification of the tightness of her cunt. I was very gentle with her, taking my time and making sure not to cause her any pain if possible, slowly sliding inch by inch in and out of her ass, making sure to leave the head in to lead the way as I fucked her ass.

The tightness of her ass was incredible - it wasn't the same softness of her pussy, but the intense pressure more than made up for that. My hands roamed and squeezed her ass, pulling her cheeks apart to allow me the maximum amount of angling inside of her, the firm flesh of her young ass cheeks soft and smooth in my hands. I continued to fuck her a little bit faster now, but with the same sort of delicate care that I had practiced when I first pressed inside of her. Natalie was swaying atop of me, her right hand furiously rubbing her clit while her left squeezed and played with her left nipple, her arm crossed across her tight body. Natalie's face had become flushed from our love making and her cute cheeks were a reddish hue, a slight glow of sweat covering her brow and making a few errant strands of her hair hang on her face.