Journey Into the Darkside

Preface

Readers: I write to titillate, arouse, and entertain. Much of the material contained in this story is explicitly descriptive of an alternative lifestyle. If your comfort zone is based on missionary sex every other Thursday around 8 pm, this story will likely not suit your reading tastes. Comments are welcome, especially those that deal with the way the story unfolds/is told, the style of writing, and whether it kept your attention. This is a fictionalized account of my initial association with the Domination and submission lifestyle. Some scenes are representative depictions of actual events—others are the author's concept of D&s play that could occur between a Dominant and his submissive.

During the six months that Nicky and I shared, she set me on a lifestyle path that I've never regretted. I don't know if this story describes a typical D&s lifestyle concept for others, and don't really care, because it worked for Nicky and I, and it has served me well in the years since. I respect the rights of others to make their own lifestyle choices, insist on that same respect, and believe that whatever works for two people in any case is usually unique to them. Nicky, I certainly hope you see yourself here. I've often wondered about you, where you are, how you're doing. Just as one never forgets a first love, a Dominant never forgets the submissive who was his first.

Nicky Sets the Tone

Her name was (not really) Nicky, she was submissive, and she took me on the ride of my sexual life. Nicky started the change in the way I look at relationships between people, not just sexually, but the entire way two people interact or relate. I had just endured a very negative relationship with a previous girlfriend, and I was alone. I had no one, and had turned to a personals telephone date line in search of a 'special friendship.'

It was an autumn Saturday afternoon, a couple of hours before I was to leave for my weekly bowling league. I had just jumped on the date line to see who was there. I had been on only a few minutes, when I got a message from someone that I was not familiar with. It was a timid sort of voice, light, uncertain, but the words were clear: "Are you dominant, and would you like to meet me?"

I had never considered a Domination/submissive relationship—my situation with my last girlfriend had been more a give/take relationship: I gave, and she took. I didn't even understand D&s—I had some generalized concepts about what it was, but had never thought it something I could embrace. Being black, my attitude had mostly been about the struggle for equality for all people.

I thought only for a second though, before responding. I figured she was like about 98 percent of the people on the date line: full of talk, and no meeting. The line is notorious for people who enjoy, indeed are addicted to talking bull on the telephone. They talk about their needs, mostly sexual, make arrangements to meet, but are so insecure that telephone contact is the closest they ever get to being with anyone. And, I felt this timid voice was simply more of the same.

But, 'what the hell...' I figured. I can talk the talk with the best on this line. Why not give her a sexual Dominant/submissive thrill. I had about an hour before I had to go bowl, and I was also curious about the voice. I'd talk trash to her, listen to her tell me about her submissive fantasies, maybe even listen to her (fake an?) 'O.' I was bored. Only it didn't turn out that way.

After about 45 minutes of moaning, and groaning, listening to her profess disbelief at some of the scenes and situations I laid out to her about my intended 'domination' of her, I grew bored at passing messages back and forth. I had to get to the bowling alley, anyway. But the next message I got from Nicky was very direct:

"Okay, I want you to dominate me—where are we going to meet?"

I was totally unprepared for the question. It never occurred to me that she was sincere. I remember my answer was sort of a mumbled, "Well, I can't meet you right now, I have to be somewhere shortly."

Her next message was even more direct. She accused me of being like all the guys on the dating line, full of bull, all talk and no meeting. Damned, wasn't that the same attitude I just professed about the women I talked to? She said I was a lot of 'fluff(?)' had wasted her time, and was not worthy of talking with her anymore. She flat-out told me to never send her messages again. I was so embarrassed I could only tell her the truth. I told her I thought she was playing, was like the other women on the system, and I was just going along with the status quo. She said that was a pitiful excuse—I had stroked her submissive side, and now was abandoning her. I felt bad!

I made another excuse, got off the line, and went bowling. I remember bowling very bad that evening, thinking about the way the exchange with Nicky had gone.

I stayed away from the dating system for a couple of days, not wanting to take a chance on another scolding from someone I didn't even know. But, by the next Saturday, I was my old self. I'd been on the system a few times, talking trash and even getting some possibilities for having a sexual encounter (which I knew was unlikely). It was three o'clock Saturday afternoon—a couple of hours before I had to get ready to bowl, and I was just trolling the chat line, mostly listening to profiles. I wasn't even thinking about Nicky.

Then, there was a message, which went something like this: "There's the guy who can talk a lot of trash, but isn't man enough to follow up on his words." It was Nicky. Her next message followed up with what she thought about me. She said it again—I was fluff (I still don't like that word...)! I didn't even know what 'fluff' was, but I knew it couldn't mean anything good. I repeated my apology, again flustered and embarrassed.

Nicky dug in. She told me that I had really aroused her when we talked the previous Saturday. She said I had detailed/promised some sexual, D&s and B&D scenes that had really stroked her submissive needs. She said she had hardly slept all week—she'd saved many of the messages I had sent to her, and listened to them in her bed.. I remember, I had been rather creative, but because I had very little knowledge at that time of what domination and submission was about, some of the stuff I threw at her was simply about being as sexually outrageous as I could. She asked me about one scenario I painted, and said she just couldn't imagine anyone being able to do that. As it turned out, we couldn't do it either, but more about that later!

Nicky had calmed down a bit. I told her that I did in fact bowl every Saturday evening at 6 o'clock, and although I had no problem with meeting her, my bowling team needed me to be there. I said to her that I would be willing to meet her after bowling that evening. When I said that, her attitude changed completely. She was enthusiastic, and said she still did want to meet me. I had no clue about what I might be getting myself into, so I gave her a chance to back down.

I sent her this message. "Look... I bowl for about three hours, and I am usually back home by 9:30 pm. I won't take your answer right now. When I get home, I'll check my dateline messages. I don't want to have a message from you at that time. I'll check it again at 9:45 pm. You simply respond between 9:30 and 9:45 pm, if you still want to meet."

Nicky agreed, apparently thinking that was the way a dominant male would approach meeting a submissive. That way, the Dom controls setting up the meeting.

So, I went bowling, not really sure whether I wanted to meet this woman or not. But by the time I got home, I was almost sure I wanted to go through with it. It was excitement, and I was bored. I'd just call her bluff—maybe she had no clue about D&s either.

9:30 came and I checked my messages. There was no message from Nicky. I didn't really know what that meant. I do remember that the 15 minutes between 9:30 and 9:45 was a very long 15 minutes.

9:50—the time of truth. I checked my messages, and there it was. A message from Nicky saying that she wanted to meet me tonight, and further, that she was expecting to be totally dominated, up to and including sexually.

I responded, "Okay."

Now I was sweating. I had to set the scene, and even more, follow through, making everything happen in a way that would exercise my control over a woman who expected it! Even worse, now I was sure she was experienced. I was about to commit sexual suicide!

We passed messages, making arrangements to meet later that night. Nicky lived about 40 minutes away from me in Maryland. We arranged to meet at a fast food parking lot in Laurel, Maryland. I would arrive first, at 12:45 am, in my van. Nicky would arrive two minutes later, after ensuring that I was there. I got even cuter. To see just how far Nicky would take to this D&s scening, I directed that she would wear something revealing and erotic. Beyond that, I left her dress to her. I further directed that after she pulled into the parking lot, and determined I was there, Nicky was to get out of her car, and stand between it and my van. Then, she was to lift her dress or skirt, and show me her pussy until I directed her to let it drop. It was a test that I was curious to see if she would accept.

I arrived at the parking lot at exactly 12:42, looking around to see if I could spot Nicky's car, but didn't, so I pulled into a parking space at 12:45, waiting. The next thing I noticed was that, at 12:45 am on a Sunday morning, the fast-food drive-through was still open! There were about four cars in line, awaiting service, and there was a young kid inside the place, cleaning up. I figured Nicky would see that, and we'd forego the skirt-hiking exercise.

I was also kind of surprised that I was not so excited. It was as if I felt a change emanating from within. My confidence was beginning to assert itself. And then, Nicky entered my life.

At 12:47 am that morning, my life began to change. Nicky's black Honda pulled into the space next to me. I looked down into the car, and could see this slim, kind of pale woman, with thin, shoulder-length hair, looking up at me. She simply said, "Ralph?" To which I replied in the steadiest voice I could find, "Nicky."

She didn't hesitate. Nicky got out of the car, went around the back and stood between her car and my van. She was wearing a mid thigh-high black dress with a transparent shell cover, not too tight, and it showed her figure very well. She was attractive, about 5'5" and exactly 130 lbs. She had thin unpainted lips, almost alabaster skin, and small breasts which were well-covered.

Nicky—well, Nicky lifted her dress up high, all the way to her waist! And, she wasn't wearing any panties. In the lit parking lot, I could tell that she was a natural blonde. Her pubic hairs were bright, lightly curled, and thinly displayed. She kept her dress high until I said sternly (my first command), "Nicky, get back in your car, and follow me!" It seemed everyone in the parking lot, and maybe even the kid in the store saw that she was a natural blonde, also.

I sped out of the parking lot, only checking later to see if Nicky was indeed following me. I went down the parkway, to another parking lot close to home. Nicky pulled in beside me. I directed her to get into the van. The first question I asked her, even as she was getting seated, was,

"Why did you do that?"

"Do what?" she responded.

"Why did you lift your dress back there? You saw the cars at the drive-through!"

"You told me to," was her terse reply.

Lesson number one. Many subs do exactly as instructed, even when they know it's wrong. They assume it's the Dom's responsibility to ensure their security (punishment was exacted later for her putting us at risk at the fast food place).

"Then, what was the next thing you were told to do, Nicky?" I asked.

In response, Nicky leaned over, unzipped my trousers, pulled out my 8-1/2 inch by now rock-hard cock, and sucked down its' length deeply, giving me an initial feel of her warm, deep mouth. She didn't take it all, but later she learned to swallow me completely, like a sword-swallower. As she sucked, not licked me, I took the opportunity to observe this lithe, submissive creature. She looked sexual, smelled very feminine and clean, and was obviously dressed to thrill. I began to explore her, putting my hand on her thigh, and she responded, even while continuing to masturbate my cock with her mouth. Nicky's legs opened, almost automatically, and my hand moved up over her pelvis, outside her dress. Nicky began to rhythmically push against my hand, and put her hand over mine, moving my hand to the spot where she needed it.

Shortly, her dress had ridden up her leg, until my hand was pushing against the hem. I pushed under the dress, and since she wasn't wearing any panties, I was immediately in contact with the wetness of her cunt. I pushed in with two fingers, before remembering we were still in a shopping center parking lot! I reluctantly pushed her away, thinking that it was going to be a long night for both of us.

I drove, not really having a particular destination in mind, but I also knew that this woman, this exciting, sexual submissive expected to be thrilled, dominated, and fulfilled tonight, to be taken on a sexual ride that she would long remember. I drove in the general direction of Laurel, over a dark, lonely road, hoping that the idea light would come on, to tell me how to proceed with Nicky.

As I drove onto Route 1, I remembered a couple of adult book stores in the area. What the hell, it was better than nothing! I drove into the parking lot, and directed Nicky to get out with me. As we walked towards the door, I noticed several cars across the street, each with a single person inside, each one looking at us (and at others who entered the store). We entered the store, and began to look idly at the sex toys, role-playing outfits, books/mags, and other paraphernalia...

The store wasn't crowded, but had about seven or eight men just looking around, at each other, and us. They seemed particularly stimulated by the short dress that Nicky was wearing, each one studying her up and down, before looking at me, and wondering—whatever. Nicky didn't seem to be bothered about any of this—she was wide-eyed, staring at some of the largest vibrators and dildoes she'd ever seen. She took one (a green, semi-transparent, glow-in-the-dark vibrator, with sequenced bumps for stimulation) from the wall, and inspected it closely.

About that time a young black couple entered, probably with the same motive as Nicky and I. They were attractive, in their twenties, and nicely dressed. They began to also look at the sexual paraphernalia on the walls. I noticed the young woman eyeing Nicky intently, sexually attracted, mouth half open. Nicky also saw her, and the two began to eye each other, as if drawn together.

The girl's boyfriend finally put a stop to it by calling his lady to him. To bring Nicky back to me, I called out, "Nicky! Come here!" She slowly returned to reality, and came over to me, asking, "Yes?"

To reinforce my supposed dominance of her, I grabbed her by the waist, pulled her dress up her thighs and applied a loud hand slap to her buttock. She yelped, surprised that I would punish her in public. As I slapped Nicky's cheek, I looked at the young man's woman, to ensure she understood my dominance of Nicky. She jumped, as if I had slapped her instead.

"Yes, WHAT, Nicky?" I asked sternly.

"Yes SIR.." she said, remorsefully.

"And, stay by me!" I continued, to ensure that all knew that I controlled this woman.

The young lady whispered nervously to her boyfriend, loud enough to be heard to say, "He slapped her ass!"

To which the young man replied, "Mind your own business!"

I was encouraged by Nicky's acceptance of my control, and indeed my right to punish her for unacceptable behavior—in fact I began to look for reasons to exert further control.

I paid for the glow-in-the-dark vibrator (Nicky never used it after that night), and we left the bookstore. As we crossed the parking lot to get back to my van, the cars across the street were still all aimed at the bookstore. I figured out why, and decided to put on a show for them.

I directed Nicky to come around to my side of the van. As she came to the door, I opened it, leaned against the seat, and told her that I needed to be serviced again. She understood, and unzipped my trousers, pulled my cock out, and began to suck me voraciously. I pulled her dress up from the back and rubbed her ass cheeks, giving the voyeurs in their cars a very good look at her ass. Headlights began to come on, and horns began to blow. I moved down against the seat, and began to hump my very enthusiastic sub in the mouth, while my hands moved her dress up and down over her ass. We put on a very good show! After only about a minute, however, I needed to have this sexual creature alone to myself again. I told her to get in, and we drove off into the night, back along the lonely road through the farm fields.

Nicky was as hot as I was, probably more so. She moved into the middle seat and spread her legs for me to have access. I drove slowly, reaching back to skewer my fingers deeply into her wet pussy, twisting and groping this wanton sex slave. She humped her pussy against my hand, fucking it, and crying out for release. She finally began to cum, uncontrollably, as I drove into Greenbelt. When I stopped at the traffic light, Nicky was still fucking my fingers, her hands keeping my hand wedged hard inside her cunt.

I drove into the townhome complex where I lived. I normally park on the street, directly in front of my home. Tonight would be different, I decided. I drove to the parking lot, about 100 yards from my front door. It's quiet, crime-free and well lit. I parked the van, and had Nicky take off her dress. She expected that I wanted to fuck her there in the van, in the parking lot.

I had other ideas. She undressed, leaving on her thigh high stockings, garter belt, and shoes. She prepared to move so that I could arrange the rear of the van. I told her to put the transparent dress shell back on, and she did. After she was arranged as I wanted, I told her that we would be walking the 100 or so yards to my house. Her eyes lit up—she was beginning to see that I was indeed the creative sexual Dom she had talked to on the sex line. We left the van, and as we walked through the parking lot, I could plainly see her blonde pubic hairs and the pinkness of her nipples through the dress shell... Her pumps clattered against the pavement, so I had her remove them. Anyone who was awake at 2:30 am, and curious about who was in the parking lot was getting an eyeful, also.

As I led her by the wrist towards my house, two cars came down the normally empty street. The only visual protection we had was the cars parked along the tree-lined street. That also excited Nicky. Me? I just wanted to reach the relative safety of the house!

We went into the house, and had some drinks. Nicky confided that she'd never been in an adult bookstore before, and never even thought about walking semi-nude in public. I asked her how it felt. She responded that she was comfortable with me, and was already feeling submissive. She said she was compelled to do it because I told her to, but that it also gave her a charge like she'd never had before. I told her that if she was going to be with me, to expect to experience new, sexually extreme situations. That was an area where I did indeed feel comfortable (this 'Dom' thing was still completely new to me, though).

I directed her upstairs where we would explore her sexual appetite again. She was immediately at home, and had in fact brought two babydoll nighties along to arouse my senses. They were not especially erotic or revealing, but I remember they made her look very pretty, that she had fire in her eyes and a smile on her face, which told me that they made her feel very sexual indeed. I selected the pink over the purple, and she changed in a matter-of-fact way, allowing me to fully take in her slim, eye-catching body for the first time. I didn't allow her to wear the matching panties (no thongs—this was mid-1990's stuff), though.