Just a Crush Ch. 04

Thank you so much to Creepyrj for editing this for me and giving me his much needed input. He is a great writer and I highly suggest you check out some of his work, Iron heart and Fighter are some of my faves of his. Thank you to everyone that has been nothing but kind and encouraging this chapter is for you and again I hope you enjoy.

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The last time I looked Evan's way was the night I walked home from his house, his touches still burning in my skin. I was settled in bed drifting off when an annoying little thought popped in my head. I wondered if Sara was ever called over. I don't know what made me get out of bed to peer through my window towards his house.

Maybe I was hoping not to see Evan usher her in? Maybe I wanted my touches to be enough to satisfy his sexual needs? Of course they weren't, who was I trying to kid. Tears immediately burned my cheeks as they fell down my cheeks without warning. I wiped them away angrily, promising myself I wouldn't do this. No more tears will be shed for Evan Bianchi. It wasn't until the sun started to peek through the sky and the birds started to sing that my body finally let me escape into a state of nothingness that only sleep could bring.

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I think the word numb best described my mood for the following weeks. I had been successfully avoiding Travis. Leaving classes we shared as soon as the bell rang to race out into the stampede of the hall losing him in the process. I knew I had to talk to him sooner or later, at least to explain my reason for avoiding him. But I just wasn't up to having a conversation I didn't want to have. I tried my hardest to keep Evan out of my thoughts but when my brain wasn't thinking of him my body ached for his touch.

He hadn't come around the house since what happened and I made plenty of excuses to Mr. Bianchi about skipping dinners these past few weeks. Mark and Evan would be heading to Colorado soon and I was hoping to earn enough credits to graduate by Christmas break. The thoughts of moving far away from this place and all the memories, good or bad, seemed to get more appealing as each day passed. All I wanted was a new start.

Mom had been taking fewer shifts lately and it was good to see her when it didn't involve a five second conversation and her rushing out the door. She had been planning a going away party for Mark and Evan. And of course it couldn't just be casual, it was all business of course. This only made matters worse since I didn't want to go to begin with. I was happy for Mark, but I wasn't looking forward to seeing Evan. Not only that but she had been trying to set me up with a coworker of hers to go with to the event. I wasn't interested, but before she had made it final I fibbed and told her I was already bringing someone.

The bell rang breaking my concentration and I looked up to see Travis looking back at me as he stood up from his seat. I gave him a weak smile as I got up and walked in silence out the door with him. Lunch was our next period and he asked me to sit with him. I nodded my consent and walked over to a table in the back corner where we wouldn't be disturbed. I figured I would let him talk first so I could answer all of his questions. After an uncomfortable silence he finally spoke.

"If you wanted me to leave you alone, I wish you would have just told me. I just can't seem to stop thinking about you," He said as he put his head down and ran his fingers through his hair looking defeated.

I didn't know what was worse; not giving him an explanation, or knowing if I told him the truth it probably would have hurt him just as bad. Those weren't my intentions and I felt really bad for how I had been treating him. Especially since the last time we spent time with each other we kissed.

"I know it was wrong to ignore you the way I did. But I just had a lot of things to figure out." I almost whispered out, the guilt clearly heard in my voice as I spoke

"I understand." Travis spoke, his eyes fixed on his hands before they settled on mine.

I was shocked for his lack of not wanting to further investigate my answer. And when he looked in my eyes I was upset to see hurt in his.

"I know I don't deserve it but would you mind giving me a second chance? I might be jumping the gun here, but my brother is leaving for Colorado soon and my Mother is having a formal going away party. I was hoping you would want to join me?" The last part left my lips in a rush, I didn't want to give him a chance to interupt before I could finish.

For the first time since we sat down he smiled. Relief came over me and a part of me really was looking forward to possibly going with Travis to the party.

"I would really like that." He said as his face broke into a grin.

But before I could thank him he brushed a stray lock of my hair behind my ear interupting my thoughts at his gesture.

"I'm interested in more than just a friendship with you, but if that's not something you want right now, please tell me."

I appreciated his honesty and thought he deserved an honest answer.

"I don't really know what I want right now. But I do know I like being around you and wouldn't mind seeing where it goes."

Travis' smile returned and spread even wider on his handsome face. He reached over and took my hand in his. His hands were a lot softer than Evans I noted. But just as soon as that thought entered my head I scolded myself for comparing Travis's touch to Evan's. It wasn't fair and I needed to put him behind me. I also wasn't trying to replace Evan with Travis. I really did enjoy Travis's company. He was smart, funny, and unbelievably understanding. Any girl would be lucky to have him and it just so happens he was interested in me.

Travis walked me to my next class and bent down to kiss my cheek before we went our separate ways. I was surprised to feel a blush creep across my face and put my hand up to my cheek to see if I could feel the warmth. Travis gave me a flirtatious grin before he turned around and walked away.

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The party was tonight and my Mother insisted that I had to wear a dress. As I stood in the full length mirror I couldn't help but admit that the form fitting, strapless, little black dress my Mother had picked out looked great on me. It accentuated every curve and flared just before my knees, showing off my legs. I wore my hair down and pulled it to the side giving it a little more curl to my already wavy hair.

Makeup was a little more than usual. Steph had insisted on coming over and doing my makeup, trying to persuade me that since it was more formal I had to spice up my little less than average style. I didn't complain but I warned her about not making me look like I was ready to stand on a corner. By the time she was finished I was impressed. My eyes were dark with a smoky eye effect, and my lips were a little brighter than I usually preferred. But with the dress and my strapped heels I wore, the complete ensemble was perfect.

I couldn't help but to get butterflies as time drew near. Travis and I had hung out a couple of times between me asking him to go the party and before tonight. Nothing to serious, we would either go see a movie or do homework together. He was fun to be around and easy to talk too, I always found myself to be relaxed in his presence. Nothing ever went further than kissing and holding hands. I didn't know if I appreciated it or was upset that he never went further. There was a couple times when I thought he was going to do more. Like stopping just before his hand would reach under my bra or he would get my jeans unbuttoned but never venture his hand past my waist line.It was clear he was showing restraint because just when I thought he would finally make a move he would stop and take me home or walk me to my door to say good night. I think he was waiting for me to be the one to initiate things. Sometimes during our make out sessions I would grind on him and feel his want, and as much as I thought about reaching down between us with my hands and giving him some relief, I never did. It's not that I didn't want to, I didn't know if I should. I liked how we were around eachother and I thought if we were to further our actions it would change things like how it changed things between Evan and I.

I thought about Evan less and less as each day passed, but he pushed into my thoughts as I was waiting for Travis to arrive. As much as I knew it would hurt to see him, especially if he was with Sara. That small part in my heart that seemed to scream every time he was near was looking forward to seeing him whether he was with Sara or not. This had been the longest we have gone without seeing each other when he's in town. And as much it hurt to even think about seeing him, I think it hurt more not seeing him at all. Before everything happened he was a friend, a friendship that I valued very much and was missing terribly.

The doorbell rang and a nervous Travis stood at my door. The slacks and the button up dress shirt hewore looked good on him and I couldn't help but to admire the form standing in front of me. He gave me that smile I had grown accustomed to before he scanned my body to see what I was wearing. His eyes grew predatory and I blushed in response. That was the most action I had gotten out of him yet, and it was just a look.

"You look great." He let out breathlessly.

"Why thank you, so do you." I said as I grabbed at his collar to fix the crease.

He took my hand and spun me around so he could see my whole dress. I couldn't help but giggle at hisplayful gesture. I pulled my cardigan on and grabbed my keys before we stepped outside in the cool night air. I was the last to leave and was going to be meeting my family there. Trevor was taking Cara and him and I were both surprised to know that Mark was still seeing Susie and decided to bring her as his date. My mom, of course, had arrived early to mingle with her bosses, her coworkers, and also to make sure everything was running smoothly at the hall she rented just for the occasion. Angie had insisted on helping and Mr. Bianchi had no problems letting the ladies run the show.

As we pulled up and found a spot to park Travis came around to my side of the car to help me out my seat. Careful not to give him a show, I tried gracefully to rise out of the car. I almost made it too, if it wasn't for these darn heels I had to wear. I tripped and fell into him grabbing his arm at the expense of my clumsy act.

"Whoa I can't have you breaking an ankle on me before we even get inside." He said chuckling as he placed my hand so it tucked perfectly into his arm.

His teasing tone made my embarrassment go away and I smiled in response, glad he was helping me balance while I got used to wearing those dreaded shoes. By the time we got to the door my walk became more relaxed and I felt confident enough to know I no longer needed his arm to walk. I didn't let go though, liking how comfortable I felt at his side. Even with the height the shoes provided me he still seemed to tower over me.

He opened the door and guided me in placing his hand at my lower back. I was surprised to feel a small tingle at his innocent touch. As he approached behind me to help slide my cardigan off, my eyes caught sight of Evan. I thought Travis looked good dressed up, but Evan was a dream. He was in a crowd surround by older looking gentlemen and my eyes locked in on that infamous smile of his he was giving to them. God I missed that smile. My heart dropped and I was hoping I could get away without him realizing I had arrived.

As Travis approached my side again he placed his hand back at the small of my back and guided me to our seats. I couldn't help but keep my focus on Evan. Just as I thought I would get away from his line of vision just in time, his eyes caught mine. My body tensed and I could tell Travis was looking at me to see what the matter was. But I couldn't pull my gaze away from Evan's. He gave me a smile but when he noticed Travis his eyebrows furrowed and before I could see what that look meant, he was no longer in view as I approached my chair.

Travis pulled my chair out gesturing for me to take a seat. My stomach was in knots and I opted to go to the restroom before taking a seat. I excused myself and was headed to where I thought the bathrooms were located. Crossing the room I waved at familiar faces and gestured I would be back shortly to properly greet them. The hall I entered was empty and I focused in on the sign that said Ladies Room at the end of it. I didn't hear the footsteps until they were right behind me and forced me against the side of the wall. I shrieked in surprise only to be greeted by a gorgeously looking Evan.

"Jesus Evan, are you trying to give me a heart attack!" Wide eyed I smacked his arm with one hand while I placed the other over my heart.

His hands were pinned to the wall on each side of me. He looked at me with his jaw clenched before he finally spoke.

"How do you expect me to let you keep ignoring me while you are wearing this dress?" His voice was deep as he spoke right into my ear before looking back into my eyes.

Damn him, I couldn't help but get goose bumps from him just being this close to me. He hadn't touched me since he pinned me against the wall, but my body reacted anyway just from being in his presence. I felt the warmth radiate off his body and it had my body buzzing. As much as I didn't want to think about it, I knew Travis never had this effect on me. Just the familiar smell of Evan had my juices flowing. I was almost distracted enough to forget I was angry and hurt.

"I'm surprised you even noticed what I was wearing," I began making him tilt his head. Feeling the venom in my voice I continued on, "Considering Sara is at your use whenever you need something, or plenty of other girls for that matter." I spat out, the memory of Sara at his door hours after I left flooded my mind again and the hurt resurfaced like an open wound.

"What's with you always bringing up Sara? I haven't dated her for over a year." He retorted with no emotion. His look of confusion pissed me off even more.

"Fucking has nothing to do with dating." I forced out happy that I controlled my tears.

"I saw her at your house after I left that night, not to mention you two were at the Drive-In together. Now if you try to convince me you guys weren't screwing, I'm going to have to remind you that I'm not one of those stupid girls that gets caught up in that charm of yours. No matter what way I acted that night."

I didn't look away, I held my head high and gave him a stare, that if I had the power, would be shooting flames. My body was just as tense as my stare and even a blind person could see I was angry. I told myself I would be strong about this, and I was. I didn't care if he knew that his actions hurt me because I was determined not to give him the power to do it again. He removed his hands from the side of my head and took a step back. I couldn't read what the look he was giving to me meant so I waited for him to say something.

"I haven't been with anyone else since you. She came to my house that night saying she needed to talk. I didn't want to let her in but she walked right past me. She tried to stay but got pissed when I told her no and left." He said and the look in his eyes showed me something I didn't think he was capable of.

I was still angry with him, but as I processed his words the only part that caught my attention was the first part. Did Evan want me the way I wanted him? We stood there staring at each other for what seemed like forever.

"I can't do this." My voice finally broke its strength and it came out more as a whisper. I wiped a single tear that escaped my eye and tried to turn to head towards the ladies room. I barely took two steps before his hand grabbed my wrist forcing me to look at him.

"You can't do what? I didn't know I upset you, I was giving you time to think about everything." He said back, his voice was full of want, almost desperate for me to tell him what I wanted.

I struggled out of his grasp knowing I wouldn't be able to contain my tears for much longer. I was so confused and every time he was around I felt like I couldn't think straight. But before I knew it I was sobbing followed by his strong arms embracing me. He rested his chin on the top of my head and stroked my back waiting for me to calm.

"Dammit Natty, I shouldn't have let you leave that night. I know I'm not the only one who felt something. And if you feel like you could really look me in the eye and lie to me again, that what you felt wasn't real, then I will leave and I won't bother you anymore."

For the first time I saw a vunerabilty that I could only hope from him. He knew I was lying to him that night, his response to me wasn't only out of anger but hurt. These moments like this, where I got to see the real Evan, reminded me why I've wanted him for as long as I have.

I stopped crying and looked at him as he wiped away my fallen tears with his thumbs. Everything I ever wanted from Evan was in this moment right here, right now. I was too busy pushing him away that I closed myself from the possibility that maybe he really did want me just as much as I wanted him. I was so worried about getting hurt that I never gave myself a chance to be happy. I thought his words were the only thing that had struck a chord in my heart, but the way he was looking at me spoke more than words ever could.

Without hesitation I brought my lips to his and kissed him like I never kissed him before. Spilling my heart into it and hoping he would feel what I was trying to tell him. He moaned into my mouth and pinned me against the wall again. I wrapped my arms around his neck while his strong hands gripped my hips. His kiss, his smell, his weight pushed up against mine, it was all pleasantly overwhelming. God I missed him. I don't think I could ever get enough of him. My body was made for Evan's touches and I was sure of that as he pulled up my skirt, pushing aside my black thong, and pushed two fingers inside of me. He caught my bottom lip between his teeth and gently suckled it as I moaned in response.

I didn't care that someone could walk out and catch us at any moment. All I cared about was what Evan was doing to my body. He knew just how and where to touch me that my whole body lit up with need. The thought of getting caught turned me on even more and he knew it.

"Are you all wet for me or for your little date you brought tonight?" He whispered in my ear. As he pushed further inside my slick channel. He abruptly stopped and moved to my clit, putting just enough pressure to make me wiggle in frustration.

"You." I sighed out into his neck, hoping that my truthful answer would continue his actions.

"I see the way he looks at you." He thrust his fingers in forcefully eliciting another moan from me.

"Has he touched you the way I've touched you?"

My body was building closer to the sweet release I so desperately wanted and that only he could give me. I cupped his face in my hands so that he was looking at me.

"No."

"Good. I want to be the only one to do this to your body. I want you all to myself."

"Promise me. Promise me I will be the only one to touch you like this."

With each word he said he rubbed his fingers inside of me at a spot I could only imagine was my G-Spot. Because each time he stroked, it caused my whole body to be overcome with pleasure. Even my fingertips felt numb by the shock waves.

All I could do was moan my response before he crashed his lips to mine possessively and circled my clit with his thumb as he penetrated his fingers into me, rapidly moving them in and out. All the while coaxing soft mewling sounds from me in return. Before I knew it my pussy clenched around his fingers and I held my breath as the waves of pleasure crashed over me.