Just a Game Ch. 02

"As opposed to what?"

"As opposed to truly not wanting to be with anyone else. If I'm in a relationship with someone it's because I love her, not because she fits into a slot. And if I love her I'm not going to want anyone else."

She was quiet for several minutes and he risked a glance to see if she was pissed, but she had a thoughtful expression on her face. When she noticed him looking at her she smiled and that teasing glint came back to her eyes.

"Why Gabe Sanders, I believe you are a closet romantic."

He shrugged and tried to ignore the warmth creeping into his cheeks. "Yeah well, the love thing has only happened once and there've been plenty of others I've pissed off because I refused to fill their slots, no pun intended, so don't elevate me to Romeo status just yet."

"From the way Aaron talks, you've filled a lot of slots. Pun intended."

Gabe pursed his lips and thought about that for a minute. Aaron did tease him a lot about sleeping around and Gabe usually laughed along with him, but he didn't like hearing it from Cassie. "I'm no monk, but I don't go around having one night stands either. Aaron thinks I'm a player because I don't have a string of monogamous girlfriends to count off, but I'd bet he's slept with more women than I have."

"But you said yourself you've pissed a lot of girls off."

He squirmed uncomfortably, unsure how they ended up talking about him when they'd started out talking about her. "Well, yeah. A lot of people see dating the way Aaron does, as the first step in a long-term relationship. I just don't. I want to go out and have a good time, show the girl I'm with a good time. I don't necessarily mean just sex, though sometimes that's part of it. If I happen to find someone I care about that's cool, but I'm not out looking for it and I'm certainly not gonna force it just because we've gone on a certain number of dates and I'm socially obligated to put a label on her."

"Don't you tell them that? The girls you go out with?"

"I try to tell them where I'm coming from, but I guess I don't always get my point across. And even when I do it doesn't mean no one's going to get hurt. Most of the women I've dated the last couple of years aren't looking for a relationship any more than I am, but before that I know I left a few bruised hearts behind. It took a while for me to realize that regardless of how honest I was about not wanting a relationship, it wasn't fair of me to act like the other person wasn't going to hope it might happen and be disappointed when it didn't. Since then I've tried to be more careful about who I get involved with."

He glanced down at her, realizing the incongruity of what he'd just said, given the fact that he knew damn well that she'd had a crush on him in the past and maybe still did. A heavy weight settled on his chest at the thought of hurting her again. His guilt kicked in and he mentally berated himself for playing with her like this when she interrupted his thoughts, bringing him back to the original subject.

"So hearing me talk about Trey gave you the impression that I was like Aaron. Just filling a slot."

"No...well I mean I thought that might be the situation, but I didn't know for sure. You don't talk about him like he's the love of your life or anything and obviously you haven't been together all that long. I guess I kind of figured that if you were committed to him..." He realized where that was going and trailed off, but he was too late.

"I would have stopped you. If I really cared about him I wouldn't have let it happen. Is that what you were gonna say?"

He shrugged again and looked down at her hoping that she didn't misunderstand. He wasn't trying to judge her or make her feel bad, quite the opposite. He was trying to explain why he didn't feel bad about coming on to her when he knew she had a boyfriend and, more importantly, why he didn't think she should feel guilty about letting him. The silence stretched on and he started to get nervous until finally she sighed.

"You're right. I hate to admit it, but you are. I was going out with him because there was no reason not to. He's a nice guy, good-looking, we have friends in common. I liked him, but I didn't really have strong feelings for him."

"Are you speaking in past tense on purpose?"

"Yeah. We broke up."

"Wait, what? Tonight? Is it because of what I did?"

"No, it wasn't because of you. Not really. I suppose once we got some distance between us we realized exactly what you're saying. We weren't really committed to each other; it was just a convenient label. One that's apparently no longer convenient to either of us."

"I'm sorry, Cassie."

She shrugged. "Don't be. I'm not. It was a relief, to be honest, though I couldn't really tell you why. The whole relationship was starting to stress me out."

There was nothing he could think to say to that so he threaded his fingers through her hair, massaging her scalp gently in an effort to comfort her. After a while he noticed that her eyes had drifted closed and he chuckled lightly. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and extricated himself from under her. It was too bad, he wouldn't have minded spending the night with her warm body curled up against him, but he didn't want to risk Aaron finding him in here in the morning.

After a nerve wracking few minutes listening at her door and peeking out into the hall he made it safely back to Aaron's room and climbed into the bed alone. The smell of Shelly's perfume was all over the sheets and he groaned and rolled to one side, covering his face with a pillow to muffle the scent, and drifted into a fitful sleep.