Just Being Wolfy Ch. 05

I hugged my family tightly, unwilling to let them go but I knew if I kept them here, there was a chance that the barmy pompous egoistic alpha might break the pact law and start a stupid war on us although I knew that a war was inevitable and it was coming definitely but that didn't mean that I want the war to come to us when we were unprepared.

I looked at James. He understood my thoughts without even me saying it in my mind. He grasped my hand, an apologetic look shone in his eyes as he revealed what he had known in Jerry's mind the day he grabbed his mate from James and mine's Acknowledgement Ceremony.

"Forgive me for not telling you earlier, love," he apologized, "I was hoping that I could solve it before it gets worse," he looked at my family intently before looking at me, "I just wasn't aware that it was already grave,"

I didn't know what to say. I dried up my tears with my hands. Was this my fault? I thought to myself, staring at each beloved face in front of me; my loving stylish mother, my over-protective father and my sisterly friend. Was it my fault that I had followed what the fate has decided for me?

Was war the answer to end all of this complexity?

I wished I had never fallen in love with Jerry Thorn.

I wished I had never been born.

It made sense in a weird way; if I wasn't born, Jerry wouldn't have become an obsessed raving lunatic wolf and Fiorelle PERHAPS wouldn't have been a big bitch.

My family and friend wouldn't have to suffer under my expense.

James growled, protesting my crazy thoughts as he wrapped his strong arms around me. "I would have continued to be lost in the darkness without my light," he whispered in my ears. I blinked back treacherous tears but it flow anyway as I clung tightly to him. "You are my reason of living, love,"

I love you, I thought passionately. I love you with all my heart.

"Do not blame yourself over what you have no control of," James smiled at me, kissing my forehead tenderly, "We will find a way out of this mess," he released me gently. He looked at my father with a wary expression. "I've told you about my in-commands' plans on how to deal with this. We have talked about it at the very first day of our arrival back home from Thorn Manor,"

"I'm impressed, son," my Dad complimented, "You certainly have a very sharp mind. I am certain that my daughter will truly be in good hands," that made me whimpered in sadness; it was as if he was truly saying farewell to me. I hugged him again. He was always so serious with me; I had rarely seen him this troubled and fragile before, not even during the last war so to speak. "We should leave now or he will suspect something's up," he cradled my chin, "Be strong daughter," with that, he released me.

My mother whimpered as she embraced me once again; this time, tighter and it felt more final. Haylie couldn't find it in her heart to hug me since the pain was too much for her to bear. I understood her.

I watched my family and my dear sweet friend climbed into the sleek heavily tinted limousine from the living room window, they had insisted me to let them go out on their own. An eerie mixture of hatred and pain boiled in me as James wrapped his arms on my waist, "Be strong, love," he said, repeating my father's last words to me. I turned and hugged him tightly. He ran his fingers on the crescent-shaped scar, "His blood shall pay all of the pain he inflicted upon you,"

In a short course of time, Jerry was a changed wolf. What happened to the sweet romantic gentle man who had never hurt his pack? Guilt sank into my core when I thought that I was the trigger of this new side of him but then again I was fully aware that this was the road he had chosen.

Perhaps he wasn't willing to mate according to the Four Council's choice but he should know that we were never meant to be together – I SHOULD have realized that from the very start. He was my alpha and law dictated that an alpha couldn't mate with his in-commands' offspring as we were practically like family.

The law should have mentioned about mistresses as well.

I pitied Fiorelle despite the pain she inflicted towards my family. It was a justified payback in her opinion, a blow to my happiness bubble when hers was a complete hell.

I didn't know whether I should be more sympathizing or not with her.

Justified or not; she still didn't have the right to bully my loved ones especially her own pack!

This was as much as my fault as it was to Jerry's. I couldn't just blame one party since I was solely the reason of this complexity.

James continued to nuzzle on my neck but I couldn't concentrate fully although I yearned to rip my clothes off and made love with him right now. The desire was highly tempting but the pain of never seeing my family again for such an unknown period of time was too much for me to swallow.

"Not tonight, my love," I whispered brokenly to him, denying his desires as I turned and flung both of my arms to his neck and kissed his mouth tamely, refusing his advances slowly as to not hurt or even surprise him but he amazed me as he held his forehead to mine, his arms tight on my waist. I understand love, he thought inside my mind. I sighed, closing my eyes, feeling safe in his arms.

I never wanted to open my eyes and face the cruelty of the fate decided upon me but I knew I couldn't hide forever behind his strong body.

The time has come for this Alpha Female to kick some Thorn's mangy butt.

TO BE CONTINUED...

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