Just Between Friends

"That was absolutely fantastic Markey," she whispered as she started running her fingers through the hair on my chest and belly. "We probably made a lot of noise and people will complain but I don't care," she laughed.

"It was great Suzy," I said softly and started to ask if we might do it again but suddenly words just failed to come out. The entire evening had been something I could not have predicted and definitely not with one of my friends. I just didn't know where I stood with her now or how to proceed.

We lay there for a minute or two without saying anything then she sat up. "Well, I really need a hot shower. This is kind of gross and I need to study for a test," she said examining some of the deposits I had left on her chest.

"Yeah, I need to get back," I replied. She helped me find my clothes in the dark and waited while I dressed. When I got everything on except my shirt she flipped on the light and I noticed she had squeezed back into the green t-shirt and had a towel wrapped around her waist.

"I'll see you tomorrow," I said softly and walked over to give her one last passionate kiss but she gave me a quick one on the cheek and a little punch in the gut.

"See ya," she said smiling broadly. "I need that shower real bad."

As I tried unsuccessfully to tip-toe down the creaky steps I heard her lock the door and wondered where the shower was and when she was really going to take one. I heard another door close downstairs as I walked out the front door with my shirt unbuttoned shoes untied and my belt unfastened and I wondered if I should be trying to keep whatever just happened a secret or if on a small private college campus it was even possible.

I took the long way back to my dorm room took my shirt back off and lay on my bed knowing that I should study or something but my brain simply would not focus. I dozed off lying on my stomach and when my roommate came in noisily around midnight I barely moved.

He laughed out loud. "You either had really great sex or a battle with a wildcat. You have scratches all over your back man."

"Didn't feel it much," I muttered as I rolled over and tried to go back to sleep.

Over the next few days I made many attempts to talk to Suzy but nothing seemed to work. Normally, I would have seen her in the cafeteria but there were many times when she just never showed or because of bad timing she would be leaving when I got there. A couple of times she was sitting with other people and even though she would see me and smile I couldn't get near her. She seemed to laugh and talk like usual and would leave with an entourage of girls and never look my way.

I crossed paths with several of the girls that we both knew and a few were much friendlier than normal. One, a very shy girl Denise actually asked me out on date which left me babbling about finishing a project. There were some girls however that gave me a cold shoulder when I asked about Suzy and gave me looks that might have been more appropriate for a leper with the plague. A couple of mutual friends that I really wanted to talk to saw me standing in line in the cafeteria and left before I could get my food. I thought at first I was being paranoid but I knew they looked straight at me.

A few times I went to the house where Suzy stayed even though it was out of my way but her room was always dark and no one ever came to the door. There was only one phone for the house but no one ever answered it. I even sat in the swing for a couple of hours one day and tried to study hoping she would show up but it never happened.

My roommate tortured me mercilessly about my back and the hickeys on my neck and that didn't bother me too much because I knew he enjoyed being a comedian. But one night after we had been studying at our desks for a while he said that he had heard through the grapevine that "it was Suzy." Those three words hit me like a falling anvil and after a couple of silent minutes staring at his back while he pretended to study I asked who he heard it from and he said his girlfriend had overheard some other girls talking but of course he knew no details. I sat totally stunned and wondered how on earth news could travel so quickly but also whether or not I should even care if people gave consideration about two individuals changing their relationship. This seem to occupy my thoughts for a long time and I got very little sleep that night.

Finally, one afternoon I was heading for one of my classes and I saw Suzy among a throng of other students walking toward me down the same walk where she had bumped me into the grass. As we got closer to each other she smiled and I forgot about the anxiety of the past few days.

"Hey, I haven't seen you much. Have you been hiding?" I said still smiling.

"Yes, I've been hiding in the library putting in long hours," she replied while assuming an overstated look of exhaustion.

"Okay. Library." I said wondering why I never bothered to check there. "Well, you know ... I've been ... uh."

She stood there wide-eyed looking up at me patiently waiting to hear something she could understand while students streamed around us going to their classes.

"The other night ... well I don't do that kind of thing very often. It was ... not typical," I continued trying to pull out something intelligible from my brain.

After a few more long seconds of awkwardness she moved a little closer her eyes narrowed and she said firmly and slowly, "Look. It happened. It was great. It was fun. You're the same. I'm the same. Somehow the whole freaking world knows about it. So just ... get over it Markey."

We stood there looking at each other in total silence for what seemed like a long time but probably wasn't when someone came up and took her by the hand. I looked at the intruder and saw Todd. He smiled up at me and I heard "Hi Mark", but instead of victory I think I saw a bit of fear in his eyes. I said nothing as I glared at him.

The smile came back to Suzy's face and she said, "We have to go. See ya." They turned and walked away holding hands. I stood watching them go continuing to obstruct the pathways of hurrying students.

"He's not much taller than her," I said under my breath. "And dumpy with bulging eyes and twisted copper wire for hair." I shook my head and kept standing there for quite a while perhaps hoping to become a permanent fixture. I looked up at the clouds and watched them change shape as they rolled across the sky. I watched the ants as they followed a trail from one side of the walkway around my feet and on to the other side. "I'm a 4.0 student in computer science," I thought. "This should not be difficult to compute."

After an untold amount of time I suddenly realized I was standing all alone in the middle of the walkway and decided it was time to move so I ambled slowly over to a large maple tree in the middle of the bright green commons and stood close facing it for a few seconds. Then quite forcefully I thumped my forehead against the trunk. I took a step backward, grimaced and shook my head. The pain felt good. I sighed as I turned and walked to class.