Just for Tonight

"I'm scared I'm not going to find a guy that I love as much as I love you."

I stared at Nick, completely dumbfounded by his honesty. "You're my best friend," I replied. "I love you too. And it's comforting to know that we share the same fear." I smiled up at him, pain in his eyes mirroring my own. I held his head in my hands, and then kissed his forehead. He looked down at me and we kissed chastely on the lips, sharing a best friend moment.

I blinked, and the dynamic of our kiss changed. He kissed me again, and I opened my mouth to taste him, the remnants from his whiskey and my vodka blending in a sexy cocktail. Our tongues succeeded in mixing it together further and I didn't know what was happening but it felt amazing.

Nick's breath was hot against my ear as he shifted his body so he was laying on mine. I pressed closer to him while we kissed; I entangled my fingers in his hair and he rubbed his hands along my waist. He brazenly slid his hands up my plaid shirt and ran them along my breasts. My nipples hardened instantly and I couldn't believe the effect Nick had on me. I always found him attractive and sexy but he's gay and I never imagined we'd end up here.

That's why I broke it off. "We can't do this," I said, brushing the hair out of my face. Those four words were the hardest thing I've ever had to say. I was on fire, and only Nick Conner could extinguish me.

"Who says we can't?" he replied, still kissing around my mouth and manipulating my nipples. In my haste to sit up, I didn't notice he had my shirt unbuttoned all the way, revealing that I was braless as usual. "You have beautiful breasts, Livi," he said, laying me down to kiss my nipples, enjoying how quickly he could make them stand out against my smooth skin. I closed my eyes and tried to pretend that Nick was straight and that we were going to carry out the act of two people in more than platonic love with each other.

He made his way back to my lips and we wasted no time getting our tongues tangled with each other. Nick tilted my head and kissed up and down my neck, and I pressed myself into him, feeling a bulge pressing against my waist. Nick's hard.... for me, I thought with a start, but I couldn't – didn't want to stop kissing him. He felt and tasted great. Nick and I tongue wrestled for minutes, and when he nipped at my neck again, a soft moan fell from my lips. I raised my legs and wrapped them around his waist. I moved my hips against him, trying to place his erection where it would do the most good. Nick tore his lips away from me, breathing heavily. "Let's get on the bed," he whispered, placing soft kisses against my face.

"Wait," I said, trying to kiss his lips again. He relented and kissed me again, until he realized what was going to happen on the floor of the shared cabin if we didn't stop kissing each other.

"Livi," he panted, the urgency making his breath short and hurried. "I don't want make love to you on the floor. Let's get up." He rose off the floor and pulled me up with him. In the seconds it took me to get to my feet, the reality of what we were about to do hit me. I sat at the edge of the bed and patted the space next to me.

"Nick?" I questioned. "What are we doing?"

"I don't know, Olivia. But it feels good. Better than anything I've experienced in a long time. And I understand you're confused," he began, looking directly at me. "Because I guarantee I'm more confused than you are. I know that I'm not straight, but all I want to do right now is make love to you. I can't begin to tell you what that means."

"Do you think you're bisexual, Nick?" I asked, looking up at him for an explanation. I sat there patiently while he silently got his thoughts together. Then I quickly added, "I think maybe that you're lonely and looking for someone to hold, and you're confusing friendship for love."

He closed his eyes, wrapping his brain around my words. "I struggle with my sexuality everyday, Olivia. You know that as well as I do. I can't explain it, but the only person I've wanted to touch for so long is you, and I can't tell you what that means."

I wrung my hands together and I couldn't look at him. "I can't tell you what that means, either, Nick. We've been drinking and the alcohol is clouding our judgment. We should just sleep on it and see how we feel in the morning under the harsh light of sobriety." I stood up and went about cleaning the small alcohol bottles off the floor and dumping them into the trash.

"Okay," he agreed, getting up to turn back the bed. "Can we still share the bed?" He looked at me, hopefulness in his eyes.

"Sure," I said with a smile. "I can't deny you sleep, can I?"

Part 2 – The Morning After

I awoke to the harsh sunlight streaming through the window. It couldn't be morning already. I felt as if I'd just fallen asleep. I couldn't stop replaying the conversation that Nick and I had last night in my mind. God, I wanted to make love to him last night, I just couldn't in good faith go through with it knowing how much we'd had to drink. I wanted to believe that Nick was bisexual; but it was too tidy, too easy. I rolled over to face him and he looked like a sweet little boy. His eyes were closed and a little spittle fell from his slightly opened mouth. I reached over and wiped it from his lips. He shifted, but continued to stay sleeping.

I rolled over, closed my eyes again, and tried to trick myself into sleeping, but that was out when still-sleeping Nick threw his arm around me and snuggled into my back. I turned around to disentangle myself when Nick's eyes opened. "Morning sleepyhead," I said with a smile.

"Olivia," he whispered, and before I knew it, Nick's mouth had found mine. I received his kiss; his lips warm and inviting in the slightly chilled room. His hand reached up to grip my head, fingers tangling in my hair, holding my lips against his until I let him slip his tongue inside my mouth.

"Come here," I whispered, and drew him on top of me, only to roll him onto his back. We kept kissing, and I pressed myself onto Nick, who struggled for breath every time my hips started riding his. I could feel his body shaking under mine, and I couldn't believe how good it felt to be with him this way.

"God, you feel good," he said, running his hands along my body. Along with my help, he pulled my sleep shirt off my body and worked my panties past my hips, off my legs, and onto the floor. He flipped us over, bracing his masculine frame over my small, feminine frame. I trembled as Nick brushed between my legs while pulling off his pajamas bottoms and then the rest of his clothes.

"But we feel better," I said, reveling in the feel of his naked body completely stretched across mine. He ran his hands along my arms and raised them above my head; I arched my back into his mouth as he sucked on my nipples. He stretched his body forward and I could feel the smooth, thick head of his penis pulsating at the front of my opening. I couldn't believe the sensations spreading through my body between his lips on my breasts and his erection stroking my womanhood.

"You're teasing me," I panted. "Just do it."

"I'm afraid that I'm not going to last once I get inside you," Nick chuckled with a self-depreciating laugh. "I'm trying to regain my self-control."

I answered him by thrusting my hips towards his and helping him slide further inside my body. I enfolded my legs around his waist and doing my best to ride him while he was lying on top of me. "Move or do something," I pleaded. "I want to feel you. All of you."

A slow smile spread along Nick's features and he looked down at me. "I have an even better idea." He eased his pelvis off me and replaced his hard shaft with the soft touch of his fingers. "You're so wet," he whispered, penetrating me with two fingers. I arched my back, trying to meet his speed.

"That feels so good," I moaned, closing my eyes and sinking further back into the bed. He continued to stroke my body, his fingers tangling with my little blonde curls; however, he wouldn't increase the pressure, even after I raised my hips off the bed and spread my legs to give him better access. My breaths were coming in sharp gasps, and I was on the threshold; but I would be damned if he didn't let me cross it. "I don't want to play this game anymore, Nick," I said, all but begging. "Please--"

The rest of my sentence died in my throat as Nick attacked my mouth, holding my head while he allowed his lips and tongue to work my mouth over as he saw fit. He reached down and rubbed my clit, his hands slipping and sliding along the slick and welcoming folds of my body. His name fell from my lips and I all but pleaded with him to let me come.

"Wait a minute," Nick said, getting off the bed and riffling through his suitcase. He pulled out what he was looking for and when he was sheathed in latex he climbed back in the bed with me. He nudged my legs further apart with his knee and with one hard thrust filled my entire body with his hot, hard, thick shaft. I closed my eyes and sucked in a huge breath when he penetrated me, two years of celibacy rushing back in the form of pleasurable pain. He moved his hips slowly, getting me used to being filled with a man again.

He was big and hard, but gentle when he pushed past the entrance into my body. "I didn't know tight you were," he said through gritted teeth, amazed he could speak. "Are you okay?" he asked tenderly, stilling his hips. "I don't want to hurt you."

"Yes," I panted, gripping his ass, urging him to continue. "Just don't stop. I feel good."

He swore. "I can vouch for that." He slid his hands under my ass, pulling me up towards him with each thrust. He drove into me savagely, trying to ride me into the climax building deep inside his own body. I wanted to come; but I wanted the pleasure of staying wrapped around and being invaded by his body. I threw my head back and he kissed me on the neck, using hot, open-mouthed kisses. Heat sneaked up from my toes, through my legs, and up to my breasts and out through my mouth in a loud, sexy moan. I praised him; I praised God, and cursed Hell all in the same breath. I pulled him farther into me as I pushed my pelvis against his, rubbing my knot hard clit against him. I draped my legs around Nick, and I panted in ecstasy. "Oh, Nick," I whispered his name over and over again. "Harder. Make me scream."

"I knew you were a moaner," he panted, pounding desperately inside me. He began to grunt as he was nearing his climax. My wet, tight cavern had the tightest grip on him, and he felt like I would never let go. I cried out his name in a long, breathless groan and I wrapped my legs around Nick, trying to hold onto my orgasm and him for as long as I could.

"Oh fuck," he panted, holding my legs open as he slammed into me. "I'm not going to last much longer." He reached up and moaned into my mouth, which was held hostage by a hot kiss. Gripping my jaw with one hand, he feverishly kissed me while he came hard inside me, tremors of a tremendous orgasm rocking his body.

He took a deep breath as he collapsed on me and began to breathe into my chest, and he could feel me moving under him. "Are you okay under there?" Nick asked with a super devilish grin.

"Well, I am short of breath," I replied, my eyes heavy with an expression of a satisfied woman. "But there is a 200 pound man lying on my chest."