Just Keep Her Laughing

"It's gorgeous Dan," said Kerry, "It's like we're the only people for miles."

"We are," I said, "Now how about a swim?"

"I didn't bring my bikini," was Kerry's answer.

"Go without," I told her, "I have never seen you naked and what better place?"

"Are you sure no one can see?" Kerry asked looking around nervously.

"Stimpy."

"Don't look."

I turned away and heard some clothes hit the jetty. Then a splash. I turned to see Kerry in the water.

"Come on in, the water is freezing," she said. I started to take my shirt off and Kerry sang some stripping music so I started dancing around slowly while undressing. When my underwear fell she called. "Hey you there, are you going to jump in or pole vault?"

I jumped in near her and she swam over to me reaching under the water.

"Dan does have a lovely hard on," she said and swam away.

I chased after her and finally caught her, pulling her under and putting my hands all over her in the process. We splashed around and played for a while and then we were standing in chest deep water hugging and kissing. Kerry was nervous every time I touched between her legs so I didn't do much of that. Kerry had no pubic hair and I thought she was very well shaven as there was no roughness at all.

We finally left the water and I got to see her body. Kerry had a great figure and looked sensational. Long legs, good feminine hips without being too big, those marvelous tits and I saw her freckles were not only on her face but also on her chest and shoulders. Her complexion was pale with no tan lines to spoil it and she had no body hair at all. She saw me looking and got all shy.

"Steady on Mister, I'm not just a piece of meat."

"Prime cut, I suggest," I said in reply, "fresh, tender and ever so succulent."

"You do know how to talk to girl don't you," said Kerry.

"I know more than how to talk, let's go inside and see," I said.

"Romeo, step aside."

We picked up our clothes and walked naked to the cabin. Once we were inside I grabbed a towel from my bag.

"I didn't think to bring a towel," said Kerry.

"I have two," I told her "but now it is my turn. I want you to promise not to say anything unless it is to answer a question for the next ten minutes."

"What are you going to do?" she asked.

"You know a lot about my body and I know very little about yours. I'm going to explore," I told her.

"But you might..."

"No I won't," I said, "Trust me?"

"Yes."

"Promise?"

"Yes."

Kerry didn't have her privates covered but was standing in a quite modest pose. I surprised her by walking behind her and then I started toweling her wet hair. It was dry fairly quickly and I took out a hairbrush and fixed it up.

"Hair done and lovely it is too," I said.

"What are you..?"

"Did I ask a question?" I asked her.

"No."

"Then shhh."

I rubbed her neck and shoulders with the towel from the base of the hair down to the start of her arms. Kerry's neck was long and slender with the little dished parts where the tendons go past. I rubbed them dry and then kissed them wet again. I nibbled on the tendons and slowly ran my tongue up her neck until I was nibbling her ear lobe.

"Mmmm," Kerry moaned.

"Is mmmm talking?" I asked.

"No," said Kerry defiantly.

"That's funny, it was last night."

"Not fair."

"Shhh."

Then I dried her back, rubbing soft gentle circles across her shoulder blades and deepening the strokes further down her back rubbing out from the spine across her back on each side just reaching the swell of her tits before heading back. I started nibbling the shoulders and sucking gently where I had dried and following the towel down until I was rubbing the towel across the top of her bum cheeks and nibbling and sucking the little mound above her crack.

I lifted my head and said "Back all present and correct, not a hair or mole in sight."

Kerry whimpered. "Now," I said, "what's down here?"

I knelt down and then started rubbing the towel over her cheeks, round and round and occasionally straight down her bum crack. When I did that Kerry would wriggle and moan a little but I let her get away with that.

I started sucking on her bum cheeks doing tiny little love bites all over and finally I ran my tongue right down where her cheeks met, not spreading them as I licked down to the junction between her legs.

"Mmmmmmmm."

"No talking."

"I'm not," said Kerry.

"You are," I answered.

"My mouth is shut," she said.

"Cheat," I said, "all right you can moan softly."

"Mmmm?"

"Mmmm."

I held her cheeks and spread them apart. The vagina looked like I would expect on a very pretty young woman, bald lips protruding and that very tempting slit just waiting to be opened. But not now. I blew gently on the lips and then up to her asshole, which was a tiny puckered star. As I blew air on it she squirmed and moaned so I went a bit closer and licked it. Kerry trembled and her legs almost gave out but I held her up. Definitely something to remember for later.

"Perfect heart shaped ass, very suitable for many uses," I said. Kerry groaned and then wriggled her ass.

I rubbed the towel down her legs spending more time than necessary ensuring the inner thighs were dry and then nibbled the crease where her ass cheeks meet her legs all the way around the cheek from the middle up to the right and then back down. Repeat the process on the left side and Kerry was squirming and moaning loudly.

My tongue then ran down the back of her legs to the back of the knees where I again sucked gently for a while on each side causing spasms and movements from Kerry that were very suggestive.

By this time my cock was begging for some relief, standing to attention and waving around every time I moved. Not yet I told it, it's Kerry's turn and I am going to blow her mind.

"Lovely legs smooth as silk," I said, "now let's see the other side."

I put my hands on Kerry's hips and slowly turned her around until she was facing me and there, at eye level, was the different bit. Her lips came up at the front but the split forked out in three directions with a little clit like knob at the top of each one. How I wanted to explore but the time for that would be later. I stood up and Kerry whimpered.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"You don't like it," she answered.

"Yes I do, and I will explore fully but we still have to get dry, remember?"

I toweled her face gently following the eyebrows then the nose then across the cheeks. I then followed the line of the jaw from the middle out and up behind the ears.

Kerry's eyes were closed and she was panting slightly, smiling. I kissed the end of her nose, I kissed the corners of her mouth, I kissed her eyelids running my tongue across the eyelashes and then I started nibbling her left earlobe all the way from the bottom to the top and back down again. As I did the same on the other side I felt a strange feeling on my earlobe. Kerry had poked her tongue out and was massaging the bottom of the lobe with the wings on her tongue, and running the end up behind the ear.

We stayed like that for a while and then I pulled back gently. Kerry opened her eyes and I looked at her.

"Prettiest face on Earth checked and confirmed," I said and she smiled wider.

Using the towel again I rubbed down her slender neck across the front of the shoulders and then all the way down her right arm. I dried her hand as my mouth covered the front of her throat and I bit gently. Mouthing her throat I slowly moved lower until I was kissing the indentation at the bottom. I then moved down her arm kissing my way and finally got to her right hand. I sucked each finger and then her thumb and finally started chewing the mound of flesh on the palm under the thumb.

Kerry had been moaning for a while and this made it a little louder. I moved to the other arm and started kissing my way down when I felt her hand close around my dick. When she started rubbing it I had to stop her.

"Whoa baby, you keep that up and I will need the towel for me."

Kerry giggled, "A bit worked up are we?"

"The gun is cocked, the safety catch is off and it's pointing at you," I replied.

"Can I just hold it?" she asked.

"OK but no rubbing, now shhh."

"You know your ten minutes was up twenty minutes ago," Kerry said laughing.

"Do you want me to stop?" I asked her.

Kerry put a finger to her mouth and shook her head.

I continued down her left arm with her right hand holding my cock. And not rubbing. By concentrating on what I was doing, and thinking of the times tables of all things, I managed to hold back. I reached her hand and sucked the fingers. When I got to the middle finger I was surprised to it was quite flat at the end and had a little dot in the middle.

"Accident?" I asked.

"Not that I can remember. I think all the girls at home had that," said Kerry. I sucked the rest of the fingers and the thumb and again chewed the palm.

"Mmmm."

"Armed and dangerous," I said.

"I thought that was you," Kerry giggled squeezing my cock, "Ooops, shhh."

I rubbed the towel across her tits, first around the lengthening nipples then across them making them even firmer. Kerry's moans got louder again and if anyone were listening outside they would have thought that she was getting a major shafting and was approaching orgasm by the noises. I licked her tits, I sucked her nipples, I ran my tongue around the crease under her tits from her side right up the cleavage. I rubbed them, I squeezed them I licked them again. I totally indulged myself with the most amazing tits I had ever seen.

"Twenty out of ten for each one," I finally said.

Kerry giggled again. "Is that all?" she asked.

"All right one hundred," I said, "now stop cheating."

I rubbed her stomach and kissed my way around and I noticed she had no belly button. Still a perfect flat stomach I thought.

"I have a gut feeling we are going to be very close," I said, but Kerry had gone quiet.

We both knew what was next but neither knew what to do or what would happen.

I finally rubbed that perfectly bald pussy and when the towel touched all three clits at once Kerry yelled.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

Then, as I continued rubbing with the towel her legs just gave way. I caught her as she fell and she was trembling in my arms.

"Are you all right?" I asked.

"Never felt that good ever," she panted.

I carried Kerry into the bedroom and lay her on her back on the bed with her legs off the side. I knelt down and spread her legs so I could get right up to her pussy. I licked the slit from the bottom up to the middle clit and sucked it into my mouth.

"Nice." Said Kerry quietly.

I sucked that for a little and then went for the left one.

"Still nice." She said dreamily.

I continued to the third and she was smiling but it did not affect her like before.

I thought to myself what is different and then it came to me. I moved my mouth back to the middle one and sucked.

"Mmmm."

I grabbed the right one between my fingers and twisted gently at the same time.

"MMMMMMMMM."

I then grabbed the left one too and Kerry went berserk.

"Ohhhhhhhhhh Yeahhhhhhhhhh."

She was moaning and screaming and writhing for about fifteen minutes as I licked and sucked and prodded and twisted all her clits at the same time, going faster and faster until she reached her orgasm.

Kerry screamed and bucked and I lost contact but I had done what she needed. She came down slowly for about five minutes writhing and panting and moaning while I gently licked her clits one at a time until she lay there spent. Kerry lifted her left hand and watched as a drop of something appeared at the end of the flattened finger. It was clear syrup like substance.

I reached down with my mouth and sucked it off her finger. It tasted quite weird, like a combination of sweet and sour, salt and pepper, all these opposites.

I lay down next to Kerry.

"Thank you," she said.

"How did it feel?" I asked her.

"I cannot describe it," she said, "but it is the most amazing thing ever."

"Good," I said, "now you know how I feel when you suck me off."

"Dan?"

"Yes?"

"I want to find a way to have intercourse," Kerry said, "I want you to be my partner, my lover, the father of my babies, my other half. I would be incomplete without this."

I kissed Kerry deeply and as we kissed she said, "I love you Dan."

"I love you more than you could ever know," I answered.

"Dan?"

"Yes?"

"You just spoke with your mouth shut."

I jumped so much I fell off the bed then we both burst out laughing.

So much for the moment.

"How did that happen?" I asked.

"Not sure," Kerry answered, "but maybe it has something to do with you drinking from my finger?"

I held my mouth shut and said, "I can't talk with my mouth shut."

Kerry held hers shut and said, "You just did."

I asked her, "Can anyone hear this or just the person you are talking to?"

"Don't know," she said, "maybe we can find out."

"I bet," I said, "kids on your planet never get told not to talk with their mouth full."

We laughed again. I was on the floor looking up at her and I saw Kerry's pussy lips got moist when she laughed. I wondered about the bits that didn't fit. I crawled up between her legs and went to part her lips.

"May I?" I asked.

"Yes, but it is far too small," Kerry frowned. "Dan I'm so sorry."

"Let's see what we can come up with," I pulled the lips apart and followed the valley down to her hole. It was tiny. I held my finger against it and pushed. Absolutely nothing doing, I don't think I could have got a pencil in there.

Kerry sobbed, "How could you stay with a girl who was so wrong for you?"

"Not wrong darling," I told her, "just different. We are complete with or without this part."

"Really?" She asked.

"Ren, Stimpy, Cartman, Kenny, Stan, Kyle, Homer, Marge, Lisa, Bart and..."

"I get the message," Kerry said, "so what do we do?"

"Someone very special once told me to never underestimate the power of laughter," I said, "so Knock Knock."

"Who's there?"

"Isabelle."

"Isabelle who?"

"Is a bell necessary on a bicycle?"

Kerry smiled.

"What do you get when you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole?"

"What?"

"Hot cross bunnies."

Kerry giggled.

"What did the ghost mummy say to the baby ghost?"

"Tell me."

"Don't spook unless you are spooken to."

Kerry laughed.

As she laughed I felt her hole loosen a little so on I went, lame joke after lame joke and the more she laughed the more she loosened. I finally managed to insert my finger a tiny bit.

"What spells hungry horse in four letters?"

"What?"

"MTGG"

Kerry was off in a world of fun so I kept telling the bad jokes and she kept laughing. I was working my finger slowly into the tightest hole I had ever encountered. It wasn't lack of lubrication; it was like the hole had hundreds of tiny hands that were trying to push my finger back out. I had just pressed in past the second knuckle when the doorbell rang.

"Oh shit," I said, and knew immediately I had made a serious mistake. Her pussy started closing in and my finger was being crushed. I could not pull the finger out and I knew the size she had been to start with meant I was very close to losing it.

"Laugh at something, quick," I shouted but Kerry panicked.

"Oh no, I am hurting you."

"Laugh, please," I begged her through incredible pain.

"What at?" she screamed.

I was lying on my back, finger firmly trapped, writhing on the floor. I looked down and saw my now very limp cock flopping from side to side as I wriggled.

"Look," I said desperately, "I found Nemo."

Kerry looked and then laughed. Not just a little but a lot. She loosened up and I got my finger out. It was crushed and the whole thing looked like a blood blister. The nail was folded in half and the pain was immense. Kerry grabbed it and started fixing it with her laughter but the doorbell rang again.

I put on a robe and went and answered the door, finger throbbing in the pocket.

It was the heater guy coming to change the cylinder so I said go ahead, we don't live here, we are just visitors.

The heater guy went about his business and Kerry went about hers. Even in the pain I was in it was amazing to watch. I had to keep her laughing and fortunately my lame jokes were enough. She just held my finger between hers and I could see the bruising and blood receding and the natural color coming back. It didn't hurt to fix and the pain lessened as she progressed. It was amazing to watch the fingernail just straighten back to it's original shape as if it was rubber.

It took about half an hour all up and then you would never have known anything had been wrong.

"How do you do that?" I asked Kerry.

"You just sort of point the laughter through your fingers to the spot that hurts," she saw my puzzled expression. "It's something we all can do, not to ourselves, but to others. I've told you before we can't save the dead but anything else is possible."

"So when you lost Sali you were exposed to pain for the first time?"

"Yes," Kerry replied, "your drugs do not work on me and of course being what I am I cannot even visit a doctor."

"That must have been awful. Couldn't you contact your planet?" I asked.

"They are watching but will not send another mission here unless we... er I breed. It is very costly and we both knew this was a one way trip if we weren't successful."

"What hurts now?" I asked.

Kerry smiled, "I do have a very sore toe, I think it is broken, but there's nothing you can do for it."

"I can talk with my mouth closed," I told her, "so show me."

Kerry held her foot toward me, and it was clear that the second toe was swollen.

"How did you do that?" I asked.

"Stubbed it on my dresser on Tuesday morning," she replied.

"So," I said, gently touching the toe with two fingers, "I need to laugh now. Say something funny."

"I can't," Kerry answered, "I am not good with jokes."

"Oh."

"I can tell you something awful," she said.

"Go on."

"You know your comment about finding Nemo?"

"Yes," I replied.

"I had a mental picture of your cock in me being squeezed into a little fish shaped bright orange and white thing," Kerry giggled, "and you walking round for the rest of your life having to tuck little fins into your fly before you zipped up."

It got me. I laughed out loud and she joined in. We were both crying from laughter and it took a while for me to remember what I was trying to do. I looked at her toe and sort of aimed the laughter through my fingers to the bone. I could sort of see now it was fractured and it knitted as I watched.

"It's working," said Kerry. But I knew that.

The Nemo picture got us through and after a while just looking at each other would set us off again if the laughter were slowing. Finally her toe was fixed and we calmed down a bit. I wondered how these changes had occurred but my mind was suddenly distracted.

Kerry reached for my cock and said, "Nemo, you've been such a good and patient boy I've got a special tank just for you." She took my cock in her mouth and started massaging it with her tongue. It must have been about thirty seconds from totally soft to the biggest hard on I had ever experienced. Kerry had a habit of making each hard on bigger than the last.

Once again she massaged my cock in her mouth, she licked and sucked and nibbled all at the same time and as I had been worked up repeatedly before she didn't take long before I felt my balls preparing to fire again. Kerry felt it starting and she took my cock out of her mouth, still with her tongue wrapped around the shaft, and I shot my load all over her, mostly on her face. Kerry then did an amazingly erotic thing and slowly used that incredible tongue to lick up my cum from her face, her hair and her throat.