Just One of Those Things Ch. 03

Then Julian's lips touched mine. And I felt...nothing. I wanted to scream.

After a few seconds of non-response, Julian pulled away with a frown. "What am I missing here? I could have sworn..." he stood up and looked away so I couldn't see his hurt expression. "Wow. I must have really misread things. I'm sorry, I..."

"No," I grabbed his wrist to keep him from escaping into another room. "You didn't misread anything."

He threw up his arms. "Then what's the problem?"

I was about to say that it wasn't him, but realized how that sounded. "It's just... Really, really bad timing."

"Is there someone else?"

"No. Yes. Kind of." Julian gave me a quizzical look. "There's someone that I'm sort of... caught up on. Nothing's going to happen there, but I can't really do anything but ride it out. Sorry." I rubbed my forehead and groaned. "You cannot fucking believe how sorry I am."

"So," he said at length. "I was right then? You were interested?"

"Honestly, I joined the study group just to get closer to you. Trust me, I didn't ask for this."

He sat thoughtfully for a long moment. "Good to know."

I was about to ask him what he meant, but then he clapped his hands and smiled.

"So, you hungry yet? Smells like dinner's ready."

"Yeah, sure," I replied, still not quite sure what to make of the whole thing.

I watched Julian put the final touches to dinner with a pang of regret. God, I wanted to want him. I couldn't guess the number of Julian-induced erections I had had over the last year. I had once even had the idea in my head that he was the kind of guy I could see myself settling down with. But now I had blown it. And I had no one to blame but myself.