Kane & Stone Cold

"Mark, are you sure I look ok?? Stone Cold says I do, but I want a second opinion," Tammy says as she readjusts her in ring outfit. Vince McMahon had proposed an idea to make her Stone Cold's valet, and today was the first day on the job. "Honey, yes, I'm quite sure you look ok. Now, you better hurry to the arena, they'll probably want to brief you on how things are done. Steve is waiting for you in the car," he says as he looks at his wife. "Thank you so much, Mark, wish me luck," Tammy says after she hugs his neck. "Good luck honey, not like you'll need it. You'll do fine," he says as he playfully smacks her on the ass.

On the way to the arena, Stone Cold turns and looks at her thoughtfully. "What is it," she asks as she takes his hand in hers. "Well, tonight my opponent is a man named Kane. I don't think you've ever seen him; I'm worried he's gonna scare the shit out of you." Tammy listens to him say this, and raises her eyebrow, "Since when do I scare easily?" Hearing her say this, he lets out a bray of laughter, "Sweetie, this man is different. He's about 7 foot tall, wears all red and black, and he also wears a mask. None of us have seen him without this mask. And he rarely talks." Thinking this over, she looks at him and says, "Ok...so he's a 7 foot tall freak. Any idea why he wears the mask?"

"Um...that's the thing. He was in a house fire when he was little, and he got badly burned; and he also lost both of his parents," Stone Cold responds, knowing Tammy will feel sad for the big brute. "Oh! The poor man. No wonder he's such a character."

When they get to the arena, everyone is very nice to Tammy. "Hi Tammy! I never thought I would see your jabroni of a husband with a valet," Rock says and hugs Tammy, "you ok?"

"Oh, I'm fine, just a little bit nervous. Stone Cold says his opponent is gonna be kinda frightening for me."

"Well, keep in mind, Kane is just a 7 foot tall steaming pile of monkey crap. You'll be just fine," Rock says before walking away. As she is about to meet up with Stone Cold in his locker room, she sees a disgusting looking little man who has a bad toupee and is carrying a crown walk by. "That's King, he's a perv," a little woman suddenly says, startling Tammy. "Who are you," Tammy asks the woman who is dressed a lot like Chyna. "Oh! My name is Miss Kitty," the small woman says and shakes Tammy's hand, "you're Stone Cold's new valet aren't you?"

"Yeah, today's my first day, and I must say, I'm starting to get pretty worried," she says to Kitty. "Oh honey, don't worry. I'll tell you a little secret. The only people you have to be worried about in here are the Dudley Boyz. Even then, they're really nice, unless you piss them off. And an even bigger secret," Kitty says while drawing close to whisper into Tammy's ear, "Kane is a real sweetie, once he gets used to you." With that, Kitty walks off and joins Chyna, who is waiting for her at the end of the hallway.

"Hey, sweetheart! You ready to go," Stone Cold asks as he puts his arms around her and kisses her neck. "I'm as ready as I'll ever be," she says and gives him a kiss on the mouth. "Well, let's go. Keep in mind, just walk behind me and look sexy, not that that will be hard for you," he says and smiles, "I'll help you into the ring, and you just stay in the corner or beside me when I'm talking crap about Kane. Then after I beat his ass, the referee will give you some beer to give to me. Then we'll leave."

"Ok, I'm ready," she says and adjusts her outfit and takes her place behind Stone Cold. They walk out to sounds of breaking glass, and the crowd is off their feet screaming for Stone Cold. Tammy follows him to the ring, and stands in the corner as he talks crap about Kane. Tammy is disgusted to see that that King guy is an announcer, and his eyes are trained on her breasts. Her attention is diverted when she sees a sudden explosion of fire by the top of the ramp. "You better get out of the ring now," Stone Cold whispers into her ear, and she has no problem getting out of the ring. As she steps out, she's disgusted to hear King say, "Come here Tammy, I'll keep the puppies safe!!" Tammy can tell that she likes the other announcer better of the two, all he has to say is, "King, this is gonna be a slobber knocker and a half."

The ring announcer announces the presence of Kane, and then quickly high tails it out of there. "Tammy, you may want to move back quick," she says to Tammy who is standing right by the ring apron looking at Kane. "Oh, ok," she says and moves back, while still looking at Kane. "My god, he's wonderful," she thinks to herself while looking him over, "he's so big...oh my god, he's watching me."

"Who is that," Kane thinks to himself while taking position in the middle of the ring, "she's so pretty, I hope Lillian tells her to move." He never takes his eyes off of Tammy as he does his pyro opening. Thankfully, Lillian tells Tammy to move before he even has his arms into the air. "I hope she likes this," Kane thinks as he brings his arms down. To his dismay, he sees her jump higher than anyone he's ever seen.

"God, I feel like a retard," she says to the ring announcer, "I bet there was at least one camera on me wasn't there?"

"Oh, don't worry, it looked good," she says to Tammy, "by the way, my name is Lillian."

"My name is Tammy, but you already know that," Tammy grins and shakes Lillian's hand, "what do you mean, it looked good?"

"Didn't you see the way Kane was staring at you?! It was great. I'd be terrified too," she says and laughs.

The match lasts for about ten minutes, and ends with Kane getting a stunner. The referee gets out of the ring and hands Tammy a bag of beers. Tammy gets into the ring and hands him one of the beers, which he promptly opens and pours down his throat. Tammy giggles when she sees most of it has missed his mouth and is running down his chest. Her giggling is cut short though when she sees Kane attempting to get up. She notices that he's holding his arm in pain, and he turns and looks at her. Tammy is sad to see the look of hurt in his eyes as he leaves the ring. Worst of all, the crowd starts chanting something about the Big Red Retard.

Stone Cold drinks a total of 6 beers, and then they leave the ring. He tries to put his arm around Tammy to celebrate his victory and her introduction to the WWF, but she just shrugs it off. "Tammy, honey, what's wrong," he asks her worriedly, "did someone do something to you?" Tammy turns, shoots him a go to hell look, and walks off in front of him. "Fucking shit. I must have done something, I'll leave her alone long enough for her to calm down," he thinks to himself as he walks towards his dressing room.

"Damn it, I shouldn't be mad at Steve, it is his job to beat people's asses and make fun of them...but still, there was something about that big guy," Tammy thinks to herself. She isn't watching where she's going, and nearly plows through the Rock. "Hey jabroni, watch where you're going," he says playfully to Tammy and gives her the People's Eyebrow. "Oh, I'm sorry Rock, and if you don't put your eyebrow down, I'm gonna rip it off," she says and laughs at him, "Can I ask you a favor."

"Sure, what is it?"

"Well, let's go into your dressing room and talk about this, and please don't tell anyone I asked you."

"Ok, what is it you want to ask me," he says and offers her a seat. "Make sure you know what you're doing Tammy," she thinks to herself before saying, "I want you to set up a date with someone for me." She can't help but laugh at the comical expression on his face after she says this, "What, you weren't expecting that huh?"

"Um...who is it this time," he asks hesitantly. "Oh, uh, he's a wrestler," she says, then starts to get hesitant, "it's, um....Kane."

"Tammy, I don't think you're gonna have to good of luck trying to get with him..." Rock says to her hesitantly, "Kane doesn't trust anyone anymore. Everyone has hurt him in some way or another." Tammy looks at him sadly and says, "That's a shame. It won't be a date date, I just want to go to dinner with him or something." Rock thinks this over then heads towards the door, "Ok, I'll talk to him. Where do you want to meet and what time?"

"There's a little diner down the street, tell him to meet me there at 7:00 p.m. Tell him to look for the woman that's wearing a red scarf in her hair," Tammy says with a smile as he leaves.

"I can't believe I'm doing this....Kane looked pretty pissed as he left the ring," Rock thinks to himself as he walks towards Kane's dressing room. When he reaches Kane's dressing room, he hears a great deal of commotion inside. "Hey, Big guy," he says as he knocks on the door. "If the jabroni doesn't answer in about five seconds, I'm out of here," he thinks to himself and is very let down when the door opens slowly. Rock is expecting Kane to look out at him when the door is open, but no one does. And, the lights are all off. "Kane?" Suddenly, a hand reaches out and grabs Rock by the collar and pulls him into the dressing room.

"What....do....you.....want..."

"I was asked to give you a message Jabroni," Rock tries to say, through his tightening throat. The hand on Rock's throat leaves as quickly as it got there, and the lights come on. "Damn, you almost killed me Kane," he says and rubs his neck. Kane just looks at Rock and tilts his head. "Ok, ok, the message. I was told to tell you to meet a certain 'fan' at the little diner down the street." Rock can see the confusion in his eyes, and says to him, "Sorry, I was told to keep it quiet who it was...but I'm sure you'll like her. Look for the woman with the red scarf in her hair. She'll be there at 7:00pm."

That night, Christine is at home making dinner for Road Dogg and Taker when Kane comes in the house looking quite distressed, and he heads straight for his room. Seeing this, Christine calls for the Undertaker. "Taker, sweetie, go check on your brother. Something is wrong." As Taker reaches Kane's door, he hears him sobbing inside. "Little brother, what's the matter," he says and enters the room. "Nothing....." he wenches out of his throat, while trying to clear his tears. "I heard you crying already, now what is it?" Kane realizes that his brother will not go away, and sits up in his bed. "Rock met me in my dressing room today. He says I have a date at 7:00pm at Joe's Diner. It's some woman."

"Well, that's great! What's the problem?" Taker says in confusion. "I think it's a set up. And if it isn't, she'll see me and then not want anything to do with me."

"Kane, you'll never know unless you go. Would you like me and Christine to go with you to make sure it isn't a set up?? We could double date, or just get some carry out and leave."

"I would like that, I guess," Kane says. Taker looks at his brother, and in a rare moment of emotion, hugs him. After Taker pulls away from him, he sees the edges of Kane's mask rise up, and he knows he's smiling underneath. "Ok, at 6:30 we'll come and get you. Be ready."

"Christine, you will never believe this one," Taker says as he rejoins his wife and her other husband, "Kane has a date." Christine drops her cup and says, "He has a what!"

"A date," Taker says with a smile, "Rock told him today that some woman is going to meet him at Joe's diner. He wants us to go with him though, cause he thinks it's a set up." Christine thinks this over for a moment, and then asks, "Well, who would do that? Is he feuding with someone right now?"

"No, no one that I know of. Actually, wait, he's feuding with DX." At this, they both turn and give Road Dogg the evil eye. Road Dogg sees Taker giving him a pissed off look, and he almost chokes on his Twizzlers. "Hey, hold on now. Sure he's feuding with X-Pac and Tori, but I have nothing to do with it. I know for a fact that no one is pissed enough to pull this on him," he says as he dislodges the offending piece of candy from his throat. "You better hope that they aren't, cause if anything happens to my brother because of them, I'll kill you."

"God almighty," Christine thinks to herself, "I wonder how Tammy gets her two men to get a long."

At 6:30, Kane comes downstairs wearing a pair of blue jeans, a black shirt, and his plain black mask. For his date tonight, he has his hair pulled back into a ponytail. "Damn Kane, this is gonna be one lucky girl," Christine says while playfully "checking out" his ass. Kane lets out a pained sounding laugh and just looks at Christine. "You're nervous aren't you big guy." Kane looks at her and nods his head slowly. Truth be known, he'd never been more scared in his entire life. A couple of minutes later, they all pile into Christine's car and make the trip down to Joe's Diner.

The diner is a small little thing, it has about 10 booths and a bar, and there is an actual bar extended onto it. Being so close to the wrestling arena, the manager and the patrons of the diner are very used to seeing the wrestlers in costume, and they take no mind of Kane and his mask. Kane looks around for a red scarf, and he can't really see anything for the sparse bar lighting in the diner. "She said she'd be wearing a red scarf in her hair," Christine asks Kane. "Yes," he says quietly to her. "Well, let's go look around," Taker says and walks farther into the building.

"Shit! They're with him," Tammy says to herself as she looks at Taker, Stine, and Kane, "what the fuck am I supposed to do now?" Just before Taker notices her, Tammy takes the red scarf out of her hair and puts it into her purse. "Well, I can't risk Mark and Steve finding out, so I'll just keep this out of my hair and wait till he's alone," she thinks to herself. "Is this seat taken," Taker asks as he walks up behind her. "Oh, no, you guys can join me, I'm alone tonight," Tammy says and smiles up at him. "Holy shit, is that Tammy," Kane says to himself as he sees her from the opposite side of the diner, "damn my bad eye, is she wearing a red scarf?! Please let her have one on." When he walks up to her he notices, much to his disappointment, that she does not.

After Christine seats herself next to Taker, she turns and introduces Kane to Tammy, "Tammy, this big guy is Kane. He's Taker's brother...he moved in just the other day and we haven't gotten around to introducing him to you yet."

"Oh, I know his name is Kane, we just haven't formally met yet," Tammy says as she looks deep into his eyes, "Unfortunately, Stone Cold had a match against him today, and he was really rude to Kane." Taker looks shocked at Kane, "What happened brother?" Kane looks at him and says nothing. "What are you guys doing here tonight," Tammy says to break the silence, while still sneaking glances at Kane. "Oh, Kane had a date tonight, and we thought it would be nice to double date, just in case this was a set up," Christine says to her friend, "unfortunately, it doesn't look like she's coming. What are you doing here tonight, Tammy?"

"Um, me and Steve got into a fight," Tammy says thinking quickly for an excuse. About two hours pass, and they finally decide to leave for the night. Tammy looks at Kane and notices a tear run down his eye. "Kane, I'm sorry she didn't show up," Tammy says while taking his big hand in her own, "you're a sweet guy. She probably just had car trouble."

After Tammy pays her tab, she walks out of the diner before Christine, Taker, and Kane. "Damn it, I wish he hadn't brought them. The poor guy was crushed cause I didn't show up," she says to herself, "damn, it's hot out here tonight." Not noticing that Christine and company had came outside, she reaches into her purse and grabs the red scarf so she could put her hair into a ponytail.

"Maybe if I walk extra slow, I'll have more time to look at her," Kane thinks to himself as he walks out the door while watching Tammy. "God, she's so pretty, I almost died when she touched my hand. She showed no fear of me," he thinks, "I wonder why she's stopping. Oh, she's putting her hair up, poor girl must be hot. Holy shit, oh my god, is that a scarf?! It is! A red scarf!!!!" Sensing that she's being watched, Tammy turns around very slowly. "Oh no, he sees me, and I fucking put scarf in my hair. What the fuck," Tammy says to herself, knowing she just messed up, "Well, fuck it. He knows now, I'll just smile and wave." She looks at Kane, smiles really big, and waves as she gets into her convertible. "Now what. Oh I know! I'll give him a little gift," she thinks as she starts the car. Being devious, she loosens her scarf and drives slowly by Stine's car. Kane is standing on the left side, and she looks at him and smiles as her scarf flies off of her head and out of the car, landing at his feet. Tammy acts like she didn't see this, and drives off.

"Little brother, are you going to get into the car," Taker asks his brother, who now seems to be in a trance. "Yes," Kane says and bends to pick up the scarf. "That was Tammy, did you think it was someone else," Stine asks as she watches him pick up the scarf. "No," is all Kane says before entering the car. "That couldn't have been the person I'm supposed to meet," Kane thinks to himself while looking at the scarf, "but I know it was. Why in the world would she want to go on a date with me?"

Christine watched the whole scarf incident go down. "Hmmmm....he seems a whole hell of a lot happier now that he has that scarf, and I saw the look Tammy gave him as she drove off. Honestly, did she believe that I would believe that she didn't notice her hair falling down. And where in the hell were Mark and Stone Cold?! She never goes anywhere like this without one of them. Even if her and Stone Cold did get into a fight, she would have Mark with her. I wonder what's going on," Christine thinks to herself as she adjusts the rearview mirror to see Kane in the backseat. "Kane, we'll get Rock for playing such a dirty trick," Taker says, thinking his brother is still upset. Kane looks up from the scarf and says, "No, it's ok." Taker looks toward his brother with a questioning look, shrugs his shoulders and turns back forward in his seat.

About an hour later, Kane is sleeping soundly in his room, the whole time clutching Tammy's scarf. In the meantime, Tammy is at home in bed with her two husbands. "Damn Tammy, what the hell did you do," she thinks exasperatedly to herself, "I mean, it's not like you have room in your house for another man." Thinking of how little room she actually has, she looks down at Steve and Mark. Mark had his big arm swung around her waist, and felt like a bear nuzzled up to her back. Steve on the other hand had his head laying on her breasts. "Steve, Mark, babies, you're squishing me," she says quietly and pushes Mark and Steve off of her. Stone Cold opens his eye, looks at her, says sorry and goes back to bed. Mark just whimpers and swings his arm back over her. "Well, I guess this is a little better, at least I'm not mad at Mark," she thinks and rolls into his arms. Mark wakes up, gives her a little kiss on the forehead, then goes back to sleep.

The next day, Tammy awakes to hear the answering machine going off, AGAIN. "God damn it, if that's my aunt again, I'm gonna kill her," she says as she rolls out of bed trying not to wake either of the two men. She gets to the answering machine and counts the flashes. "17 messages?! What the hell....someone better be dead," she says to herself as she hits the play button. "Message 1: Tammy, this is Vince McMahon. We're very pleased with your first appearance on RAW. We think we're going to put you and Stone Cold into an angle with Kane, considering how well you two interacted with each other. Come in tomorrow and we'll discuss it further. Message 2: Tammy, this is your mother. You and your husbands need to remember that the family reunion is on the 15th...I just thought I would call and tell you in case you didn't get the invitation," says the answering machine after she hits play. Message three through 17 was all Christine. "Shit, Christine....you know not to call me before noon!! What in the hell is the big deal," she says as she dials the number for Christine.