Kicked Around

Eventually, they arrived at the front of the dorm. They walked up the steps to the front on the guy's side of the dorm. They stopped just after the doorway where the hall divided into two directions. To the left was the elevator to the guy's rooms and to the right was the entrance to the lobby area which led to the girl's side of the dorm.

"Thanks again for all your help Erik," Jessica said.

"My pleasure!" Erik said with a smile.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" she said.

"Of course," Erik said.

"Bye," Jessica said turning around and walking away. She walked through the doors into the main lobby area. Erik watched her through the glass doors as she walked away. When she reached the other side where the entrance to the girl's dorm was located, she looked back at Erik. Erik saw her look back and waved to her. She waved back and continued to walk.

Erik was smiling ear-to-ear. He never had so much fun studying for school in his life. Erik turned around to walk toward the elevators, and there were Dave and Bob. Erik's smile was wiped off of his face. The pair had devious smiles on their faces. Before Erik knew it, they grabbed him and threw him up against a wall, holding him by the shirt and neck.

"So, you trying to fuck my girlfriend?" Dave said.

"No Dave," Erik said worriedly. "It's not like that."

"Yeah," Dave said. "Well, maybe we need to show you how it's going to be."

"Hey, bub," a voice said as another person entered the room. "What's going on here?"

"Piss off," Dave said not looking behind him.

"Hey fuckhead," the voice said again. Dave turned around and met Bret's cool gaze. "Yeah you, fuckhead." Dave turned around and got up into Bret's face.

"Oh, you want some of this?" Dave yelled at him. "I'll knock your fucking head off!"

"You better get the fuck out of my face before I tear you a new fucking asshole," Bret barked right back. "You have no idea who you are fucking with."

"Yeah?" Dave asked.

"Yes," Bret said eyeballing Dave, his right foot back, fists clenched, ready to fight. Dave wasn't prepared to be challenged and stepped back, seeing that Bret was ready to start swinging. Dave sized up his opponent quickly and realized that he was going to lose a one-on-one fight with Bret. Dave eyed Bret keenly as he continued to walk backward.

"Let's go," Dave said to Bob. Bob released Erik and walked backward keeping an eye on Bret and Erik.

"Stay away from Jessica," Dave barked out. "I mean it." Then, Dave and Bob turned around and walked out of the dorm and out of sight.

Erik looked over at Bret who stood staring through the glass of the front door at Dave and Bob. "Thanks," Erik managed to say quietly.

"I told you those fuckers were no good," Bret said still looking out the door.

"Yeah," Erik said, his voice sounded as though he was on the verge of tears. "You did." Bret turned to Erik.

"You alright?" Bret asked. Erik was trembling.

"Yeah," Erik said. "I'm just... I didn't think I'd have to deal with shit like this anymore.."

"Let's go have a smoke," Bret said. Erik and Bret walked to the courtyard in the middle of the building. There were no smoking signs everywhere, but Bret lit up a cigarette anyway. Bret handed one to Erik and lit it for him.

After a couple of moments of silence, Erik started to speak.

"What is wrong with me?" Erik said quietly.

"What?" Bret asked.

"What the fuck is wrong with me?" Erik said again.

"There's nothing wrong with you," Bret said.

"Yeah, there is," Erik said. "Why can't I stop getting myself into this shit?"

"What do you mean?" Bret asked.

"People keep thinking I'm going to do things that I won't," Erik said. "I never get a chance to... They just... They judge me before they even get to know me."

"Is that what you think just happened?" Bret asked. "Dude, you shouldn't worry about what pricks like that think of you."

"But it keeps happening to me," Erik said.

"What keeps happening?" Bret asked.

"When I got to college," Erik started to say, "I told myself 'no more.' Never again would I let someone push me around." Erik took another drag of his cigarette and tears started to form in his eyes. "I was bullied a lot in High School... And Middle school... And grade school. Just... my whole fucking life." Erik wiped his eyes and continued. "But I told myself when I go to college, that's it. That's the end. Everyone else I come in contact with will be different. College... will be different. Any jackass off the street can't just apply and get in. Educated, smart, hard-working people go to college..." Erik took another drag of his cigarette. Then, he leaned back against the wall and continued. "But, I was wrong... I can't find a place for me to be... to be... safe... or me... or whatever..."

Erik put his head down, starting to cry. Bret slowly nodded.

"Yeah, people suck," Bret said. "Some suck less than others. And some are decent, but people pretty much just suck. So fuck 'em. Who cares what they think? Do whatever you want and if one of those assholes steps in your way, tell them to get the fuck out of the way or else."

"Or else what?" Erik asked.

"Or else...," Bret said. Erik looked at Bret and Bret just smiled. "Keep 'em guessing. That freaks them out. They don't know what the fuck could happen. People suck. But they are also really fucking stupid." Erik started laughing.

The two headed upstairs and went to Bret's room. Erik opened up about what happened and how Dave and Bob jumped him after saying goodbye to Jessica. "Sounds like they're following you," Bret said. "Or her."

"Maybe," Erik said.

"Where do those fuckers live?" Bret asked.

"I thought Jessica said they had an apartment close to campus," Erik responded.

"Yeah," Bret said. "They're following you. Or her. Either way, you keep seeing her, they're going to know and come at you again."

"Are you saying I shouldn't be around her?" Erik asked.

"I'm saying you need to think about how those fuckers are going to try to get you again if you do," Bret responded.

Erik nodded.

Eventually, Erik left Bret's room and headed to his room for the night. Before he left, Erik asked for two more cigarettes in case he needed to calm down again. Bret gave him the rest of his pack. "You probably need them more than I do," Bret said. Erik's roller-coaster day left him exhausted. He was mentally and emotionally drained. The encounter with Dave and Bob put him back into a state of panic. Erik knew these feelings too well, and he knew he would need them to stay on his toes. If he sensed danger, his instincts would kick in and his "fight or flight" response would cause him to run as fast as he could. His mind was racing, but he was physically exhausted. Still, he needed one last hit of his perfect drug. Erik took off his clothes, jerked off to porn, and then crawled into bed for the night.

He woke up to a knock at his door. Erik was groggy and tired as he rolled out of bed to answer the door. He was naked, and he had an erection, but he was so tired that he didn't notice. The knock was getting louder and louder, which helped Erik back to consciousness. Erik looked around and couldn't find anything to get dressed with immediately, so he grabbed his towel and wrapped it around his waist. He walked over to the door and opened it. Just as Erik began to open the door, Dave and Bob pushed into it and rushed into the room. They grabbed Erik by his arms. Erik's window was open, and they started to push him toward it. The towel came off, and Erik was naked as his two assailants were trying to throw Erik out the window.

Erik could see what they were trying to do so he stretched out his arms and legs so that his body was longer than the window. He gripped on to the walls around him, and Dave and Bob weren't able to force him out. "Stop!," Erik screamed over and over again as the two kept trying to push Erik out the window. Finally, Dave yelled, "Hold him!"

Bob grabbed Erik's arms and held him in place as he stood. Dave brandished a large bowie knife, which looked like he had kept behind his back as they rushed in. "No! No! Stop! Help! Help! Please!," Erik screamed. Erik kicked his legs violently at Dave, trying to stop him as he advanced. Erik kicked Dave in the stomach, but it had little effect. Bob saw an opening as Erik continued to kick. Bob slightly picked up Erik and then slammed him hard on the floor knocking the wind out of Erik.

Erik was gasping for air trying to regain control of himself quickly before Dave could get closer, but before Erik knew it, the knife was at his face. "I told you to stay away from her!" Dave said. "Now you're going to pay." The knife moved down to Erik's groin area. Dave grabbed Erik's dick in one hand and sawed at it with the knife. Erik was in immense pain. He screamed over and over again. Erik felt as though Dave had been sawing for minutes, but within 3 seconds, Dave had cut off Erik's dick and held it up to show Erik. "You don't need this no more, pussy!"

Erik went into shock at the sight of seeing his bloody penis detached from his body, being held in front of his face by Dave. The world went white, and his body went numb. Fear was erased and replaced with pure rage at the sight of seeing his body altered, permanently. "You mother fuckers!" he screamed. "Fuck you! Fuck you! You're not going to get away with this! I'll fucking kill you! You're fucking dead!" Erik kept saying the same things over and over again, not breathing as he screamed. His face was red hot with anger.

"No you won't," Dave said calmly and stuck the knife deep into Erik's throat. The wound flowed with red liquid all around it as Erik now gasped for air. He coughed up blood in the process as he choked on the warm liquid. Anger completely washed away, and panic was now restored as Erik realized at this moment, he was going to die. The anxiety of impending death was now more overwhelming than the immediate need of taking in oxygen to live. He thought to himself: "There is no second chance, there is no way out of this. I'm going to die here, alone. This is it; this is how it ends."

Erik jolted upward in the night. He was still in his bed, and he looked around himself, disoriented for his nightmare. The room was dark and empty. His hands went to his dick, and he felt comforted it that was still attached to his body. Next, his hands went to his throat and felt no wounds. Erik finally started to calm himself. He took a deep breath as he acknowledged that the nightmare wasn't real and that he was still alive.

Erik was shaking and sweating. It felt too real to ignore, and now tears started to run down his face. Erik had nightmares of being attacked before, but not like this one. This one felt too real and the acknowledgement of his death at the same hands of the two that assaulted him the night before made him even more afraid than ever before. Erik needed to calm down.

Erik was doing anything he could to try and break the anxiety. "I need a smoke," he thought. He couldn't stay focused enough to get dressed. He remembered an old hymn that would keep him calm under stress. He continued shaking, as he put on a shirt and a pair of shorts, nervously humming the sacred song in his head, trying to keep his wits about him. He glanced at his alarm clock, which read 2:34 AM. Then, he cautiously opened the door and looked down the hall. Erik didn't want to go outside. He feared that "they" could be out there waiting for him. So, he walked over to the study room across from the elevators. It was a small 8-foot by 6-foot room with a table, two chairs, and a window. Erik closed the door to the room and opened the window. Erik sat there and smoked, trying to calm his nerves. He was on his 3rd cigarette, and the contact buzz was strong. The buzz helped to clear his mind and gave him a "break" from his thoughts. Erik felt that his own mind wasn't even a safe place for him right now.

After Erik finished the 3rd cigarette, he closed the door and walked back to his room. He felt slightly ill from chain-smoking, but he was calmer. However, it was time to heal himself with the only drug that ever truly worked for him, porn. He opened his "Jessica porn" folder. This started to elevate his anxiety again, and his heart was pounding. Jessica was now being associated with death and was no longer something he could use to calm himself.

Instead, Erik opened a regular porn tube site. He surfed around and found something he liked. It was a rougher sex video called, "Kimmy likes it rough". He masturbated. Then he kept looking. He found another rough sex video he liked, this time with anal. He masturbated again. Then he kept looking. He found a rough sex gangbang video. And masturbated again. Erik did this for two hours and ejaculated six times. All of his emotions of fear mixed with aggression were taken out on himself. Afterward, he finally felt calm enough to sleep. He rolled into bed naked, except for his socks, and pulled the sheet up to fall asleep.

Erik's alarm went off at the usual time the next morning. Erik looked over, still very tired from being up late. Anxiety, fear, and panic set in as Erik realized that in his psychology class, both Bob and Jessica would be there. To Erik, this meant that Dave would be nearby and chaos would ensue as soon as Dave and Bob were able to get Erik alone. This slipped Erik back into a deep depression, as he felt like he couldn't go about his life without getting harassed by Dave and Bob.

Erik rolled out of bed and sat back down at his computer. He was still naked, except for his socks. Erik checked his email and opened the Psychology study guide. He started to read over it, but his mind would quickly turn to mush. Erik couldn't concentrate on schoolwork. All Erik would keep thinking about was Dave coming after him.

Erik reopened the web browser window from the previous night and continued his search for another video. Erik spent another two hours watching rough porn while masturbating. When he was done, his dick hurt and he developed a red sore by the tip. Erik skipped his class and breakfast, deciding to eat an energy bar and drink bottled water. He kept on going at himself for another hour, using hand lotion to soften the friction. At the end, of this session, he had masturbated seven times, and the head of his penis was rubbed raw. It looked like he dragged his dick across a carpet and it was bleeding slightly.

Erik showered and went to the cafeteria for lunch. Afterward, he rode the bus to campus. Erik exited the bus at a stop next to a computer lab. He walked into the building and sat down in an open seat. Erik opened his book and began to study for psychology. Erik was alone in the computer lab, and the empty room gave him a quiet environment to study for the test. Erik's mind was able to stay on track and review the material for the exam.

Eventually, it was time for Erik's math class. He gathered his things and walked to his next class. Inside, he saw Jessica. She smiled at him as he entered the room. Erik gave her an awkward smile as he walked to a desk and sat down.

"I missed you this morning," Jessica said to Erik.

"Uh, yeah," Erik responded. "I wasn't feeling good this morning."

"That sucks," Jessica said. "How are you feeling now?"

"OK," Erik said quietly looking down.

"Good," Jessica said confused. "Do you want to study after dinner?"

"No," Erik said. "I'm just... I'm going to go to bed."

"OK," Jessica said, even more confused. "I hope you feel better."

"Thanks," Erik said quickly.

Class began, and Erik zoned out. His mind took him to places where he always had to stay hypervigilant, avoiding any contact with Jessica to keep away Dave and Bob. If Erik wasn't running, he was fighting... and losing. Erik kept running, but not fast enough. Then he was fighting, but not good enough. He couldn't win when he was sleeping, and he still couldn't win when he was awake. He was always losing, in every scenario, his mind put him in. Through all this simulation, Erik concluded that there is no acceptable losses he can endure. The only winning move was not to play this game.

The class was ending, so Erik gathered his things rapidly and walked out the door. Jessica quickly tried to catch up with him. The bus arrived and Erik hastily jumped on and took a seat near the back. Jessica was forced to stand. When the bus stopped, Erik ran out and darted for the doors on the men's side of the dorm. Jessica watched him as he hurried to the door. She turned and walked calmly toward the women's side.

Erik rushed into the cafeteria, grabbed his food and took the entire tray to the elevator. He took the elevator upstairs, went to his room and locked the door. Erik began to eat alone in the chair by the TV. There was a knock at the door. Erik turned in the chair to look at the door. Erik knew that this was probably Bret, but he wasn't sure. Erik stared at the door as he ate. He could see the shadow slightly under the door. There was another knock, louder this time. Erik continued to eat his food as he stared at the door, wide-eyed.

Erik could hear some sounds on the other side of the door. He could hear some type of sliding or something on the door itself. He stopped eating and leaned closer to the door in his chair. Then, the shadows were gone. Erik leaned back in the chair feeling relieved. Suddenly, there was an explosion, and the door blew open. Dave and Bob ran in with automatic weapons, firing at Erik and striking his body several times. He fell off of the chair onto the floor, bloody and dead.

Erik blinked, still sitting in the chair, breathing heavy. Suddenly, the door was kicked down by Bob. Dave rushed in and threw a haymaker punch at Erik, knocking him out of his chair and on the ground. Erik was dazed, but conscious. Bob ran into the room behind Erik and picked him up off the floor. Dave was throwing punches at Erik, continuously. Some landed on Erik's face, some on his body. Erik was bleeding and gasping for air. Erik's head was hanging downward, drained of all energy from the onslaught. He was in immense pain as he struggled to breathe. Dave grabbed Erik by the hair on the back of his head and pulled his face up. "You'll never learn," Dave muttered. Suddenly, Dave had a pocket knife that he plunged up into the bottom of Erik's lower jaw.

Erik jolted out of his chair. He was breathing heavily. He couldn't trust himself with his own mind to calm himself down. So, Erik rushed to his computer and navigated back to his porn sites. He pulled down his pants. Erik's penis was still red from his morning session. He gripped his dick and started to stroke himself. A slight pain shot at him, and he remembered how he rubbed himself raw. He grasped himself entirely on the shaft. Then he grabbed some hand lotion and dabbed some on the head and rubbed it into the redness.

Erik wasted no time after quickly providing temporary relief to himself. He began masturbating furiously to a threesome, rough sex video where 2 guys were manhandling a girl. He came quickly. He sat in the chair calming himself. The calming effect of his orgasm caused Erik to close his eyes and slip back into a dream-like state. Erik was walking around campus on a warm summer day. As he walked, he tripped on a can of peaches. Erik looked at the can, and it reminded him of a song with the same title. Erik could hear the song play all around him.

Erik looked up. There were women everywhere, and they were all naked. Some were walking; some were riding bikes. There were even some women rollerblading with knee pads, elbow pads, helmets, wrist guards and nothing else. A girl walked by him and touched his face seductively, giving him a wink as she passed.

Erik had a big smile on his face watching his candyland. Erik continued to walk down the sidewalk. Girls would smile and wave at him as he walked by them. Then, he saw people having sex all around him. On the steps walking into buildings, up against cars, behind benches, in the middle of the grass, everywhere. Erik loved this world. He stopped to watch and take it all in.