Kimberly's Sin Ch. 06

Chapter 6 - The Conclusion:

And as you would expect, Ben shared my bed with me the rest of the summer. We had fallen into a routine of sorts. Every day, before I came home from work, I would insert my diaphragm, even after the pill was supposed to be adequate protection. I simply could not risk becoming pregnant from my son.

I believe we made love virtually every night, often more than once. Even when I was menstruating, Ben still wanted me and had me. I have never been fucked so often or so well in my life. Occasionally, I was met in my kitchen by a naked young man sporting a raging hard-on as I enjoyed my coffee before work. Ben's standard joke became, "May I offer you some cream with that ma'am?" as he entered the kitchen expecting his good morning blow job before I left for work. I always obliged.

Ben's sexual energy and endurance was of mythical proportions. I know he was 19, actually 20 when he left at the end of the summer, but even on an 'age adjusted basis', he had more stamina and drive than anyone I have ever heard about either personally or from literature. Ben continued to tell me it was me that inspired this level of performance. Despite all my misgivings about the nature of our relationship, I found his attention and sexual prowess both flattering and enjoyable on some level. But my guilt did not completely abate. I came to grips with the fact that I was violating one of the most fundamental rule of our society....I was allowing my son to fuck me repeatedly. And I was regularly climaxing with my son's erection inside me.

I came to accept the fact that for him, this was beautiful and proper; and nothing I could ever do we change his mind. For me, it was a matter of dealing with a clear mistake in judgment I had made at the beginning of the summer in a manner that minimized additional harm to my son and our relationship. Yes, I enjoyed the attention, the flattery and the enormously sensual pleasure of our carnal relationship exciting and satisfying, but I honestly wanted to believe I would have given all that up if I could return to a time when I was not sleeping with, and being fucked by my son.

But as I write about my experience with my son, I am not so sure. I honestly cannot say I would abandon the pleasure and intimacy I experienced with Ben if I could magically return to a time before I sinned.

About a week before he was scheduled to fly back to the West Coast and return to college, Ben asked, "Mom, now that the summer is over, do you still think what we having been doing is wrong? Do you still regret us becoming intimate?"

"Ben, I have enjoyed our intimacy more than you can imagine. You have stirred emotions in me that I did not know existed. You have given me pleasure that I did not think was possible. And you have touched me in places I did not know I had....literally, you have touched me more deeply than I thought possible".

Ben smiled at the last comment indicating the pun was not lost on him. I paused and then continued, "But baby, yes, I do think what we did was wrong. I do regret letting this happen. I regret not having more control and more restraint than to have let this 'cat out of the bag' in the first place."

My comments, though truthful, obviously hurt Ben. "I wish you did not feel that way, Mom."

"Ben, after all we have been through, all we have shared and all we have done, I feel that above all we need to be honest with ourselves. And I fear that our intimacy will harm you; if not today, some day. I fear that the events of this summer will interfere with you having the relationships you deserve as a grown man. I fear that our relationship, while being very close and caring, lacks the innocence that a relationship between a mother and son should."

I took his hands in mine, and said, "And I am so very sorry for any pain any of this ever causes you."

"Mom, you did not do anything wrong. In fact, you never had a chance. It was me, not you, who made this happen. I was the only one who could have stopped this."

"No, I am the adult...." I started to interrupt.

Ben stopped me, "Mom, no disrespect, but as intelligent and assertive as you are at work; you are submissive in relationships. Once I realized that you really could not say 'no', that you could not stop and could not resist a strong male that you had strong feelings for, I knew I could have you if I wanted. And I wanted you. You never had a chance."

After several moments of silence, Ben asked, "Mom, do you think something can be wrong and still be beautiful?"

I pondered his question for several moments before responding, "Perhaps it can. I do not know. I need to think about that. But that does seem to describe what we have been doing."

To this day, I wonder if Ben is right; did I ever have a chance to avoid this situation? And I still ponder whether something could be both wrong and beautiful.

Ben's last night of summer

Ben was due to leave tomorrow morning at 8:15 a.m. He called me at work asking if I could get off a little early tonight. I said, "Sure honey, I will try."

I was nervous, anxious, sad and relieved all at once about Ben's pending departure. I did not know what the future held, but we had survived the summer with our relationship intact; actually, we appeared to have strengthened our relationship. Would it last? Who could tell? I would miss him terribly, of that I was sure.

I got home a bit earlier than usual, and was met at the door by Ben who handed me a glass of merlot. Entering the hallway to the living room, I immediately knew Ben had been busy, and tonight would be special. The room was darkened except for about a dozen strawberry scented Yankee candles. On the floor, in front of the couch were the comforter from my bed, covered neatly with a sheet, and several pillows. Ben had moved a portable heat lamp into the room as well. The DVD player was playing one of my relaxation tapes, 'ocean sounds' which was the sound of waves against a background of soft, romantic music.

Before I could enter the living room, Ben took my suit jacket and hung it up. I caught a fragrance that was very familiar, but at first I could not place. Glancing into the kitchen, I could see a pan heating on my stove, and I realized the aroma was coming from this pan of baby oil which Ben was warming. It was clear that Ben planned to make our last night special. God, I loved that boy, even if I had showed it in unconventional ways.

Ben guided me to the living couch, where he sat me down with my glass of wine, and took my foot and slowly removed my dress boot. I was instantly reminded of the evening of our second coupling when Ben removed my boots while his penis was still throbbing inside me following a beautiful orgasm. The memory made my vagina spasm momentarily and I could feel myself growing moist at the very thought of that evening. That was a good memory.

After removing my one boot, Ben raised my leg and peered directly at my panty covered crotch, stared, moaned softly, and said, "You are so very beautiful, mom. I love you so much." I wanted to reach up and hug him, but with him holding me leg up like that, I could not, and just leaned back to bask in the loving attention and admiration of my son.

Ben slowly massaged my foot, calf and leg for several minutes, gently running his hands up my inner thigh occasionally to touch my ever moistening pussy through the gusset of my panties. God, he was a sexy and sensuous man. I finished my glass of wine as he massaged my leg, and set the empty glass on the table next to the couch. Ben stopped, released my leg and got up to get me another glass.

He returned quickly, handed me my second glass of wine, and took my other foot and slowly removed my other boot, repeating the touching and caressing on my other leg, and paying even greater attention to my now aroused pussy on his strokes up my inner thigh. I was involuntarily rocking my hips in a state of arousal, anxious to be touched more intimately, and loved completely.

I finished my second glass of merlot, and set it down, feeling just the perfect level of alcohol so that I had no inhibitions, and I could bury any guilt I might still harbor for the evening. Ben got up, and started for the kitchen. I tried to stop him, "Ben, come back. I don't need any more wine."

"OK, mom. I am just going to get the warm baby oil from the stove."

He returned with the sauce pan and a kitchen towel. He folded the towel on the coffee table and placed the sauce pan on top of it. The he took my hand, stood me up and removed my skirt, blouse, and bra; leaving me with only my very moist panties. Ben guided me to lay on my stomach on the sheet atop the comforter on the floor.

Ben turned on the heat lamp, and quickly I felt the warmth radiating from above on my naked back and legs. I was very aroused already. And so was Ben; he removed his tee shirt, and had just his gym shorts on. His penis stuck out from the waist band of his shorts by at least three inches. He looked into my eyes as he removed his gym shorts, freeing his beautiful cock, allowing it to stand freely in front of him. I looked over my shoulder trying to commit this image of my son to memory since I certain could not put this picture in the family album.

Ben kneeled beside me, and placed a small amount of the warm baby oil on my back. The feeling was exquisite as he massaged my back and shoulders, taking time to reach around under me to caress the sides of my breast as he worked his way down my sides. I would raise myself up slightly to allow him to contact my erect nipples each time his hands moved towards the sides of my breast. Ben would gently tweak my nipple before continuing with the massage. I was in heaven.

Ben moved down and started at my calves, working his way up my thigh. When he got to the top of my thighs, he took hold of panties as I raised my hips to allow him to remove them. I was now naked in front of my son, basking in the warmth of the heat lamp, responding to his touch, with my mood assisted by a slight alcohol induced "buzz". I was enjoying a feeling of contentment I cannot describe.

At that moment I knew that I would do anything for my son, absolutely anything. Ben owned me, mind, body and soul. I was his. And honestly, I still am.

Ben, began touching my pussy, which by now was aroused, open and wet. He bypassed the slow, one finger introduction I was used to, and inserted two fingers immediately without any resistance from my vagina walls. I was already aroused enough to accommodate both his large probing fingers. I moaned into the pillow with ecstatic pleasure and he massaged the front wall of my uterus, touching my g-spot, as he so many times over our summer of intimacy.

I pulled myself up into a slight kneeling position to allow me to rock my hips and arch my back into his probing fingers. I was going to cum any moment just from his touch, I could feel it building inside of me.

And then he stopped. I continue to rock my hips, humping at air in frustrated anticipation. I expected, and hoped for, Ben to climb behind me and penetrate me doggy style to finish me off; but he did not.

Instead, he got up, moved one of the straight backed wooden chair from the kitchen into the living room and quickly retrieved a package from behind the couch. 'what the hell was he up to?', I wondered. "Ben, please don't stop, honey. I am so close. Come make love to me." I pleaded in frustration, I looked back at him as I remained on 'all fours', ready and willing to be taken by my son from behind. I started to beg him to come back and fuck me good, fuck me one last time; but I knew that tonight was his night; he planned everything out, and I would go along with his plan.

I looked over my shoulder and watched as he removed a large suction based, phallic shaped vibrator from a plastic bag. I looked at Ben with my best "WTF look". The vibrator was huge (I later discovered it was 8 inches long, and over 2 inches thick), bright red with an oversized head, thickly veined down the sides, with a large suction cup for the base.

Ben twisted the base and the device sprung to life buzzing loudly and vibrating my, rather loudly I might add. The suddenness of the sound startled me. He then turned it off after he got my attention.

"What is this for?" I questioned, really quite concerned about where this 'plan' was heading. Actually, I knew that both Ben's plan, and that large device was heading up my tight pussy; and I was pretty sure that device was not going to fit!

"Mom, we are going to teach you how to please yourself when I am not here to take care of things for you." Ben then placed the large red vibrating dildo on the wooden, straight back chair from the kitchen, holding it in place with the large suction cup bottom.

"Baby, that's not going to fit inside me." I was clearly alarmed. In fact, I was scared.

"Mom, you have taken all of me. I am that big."

I looked at the 2 inch thick, big red dick sticking 8 inches above the seat of the chair for a moment, and I turned to my son and said, "No baby, I don't think you are. You are a very well endowed man, very well endowed. But son, that thing is huge. I am not a big woman. I think we need to start out with a toy that is a little more reasonable in size."

I realize by calling Ben 'son' instead of 'baby' I was taking a more serious, more authoritative tone.

For a moment it dawned on me, that I never took this tone to discourage Ben went was first trying to seduce me, and get in my panties at the beginning of the summer. No, at that time it was 'baby, we can't do this.....'. I guess I never did try to dissuade him from pushing forward at all, did I? But now I had a more immediate and urgent problem, I did not think I could accommodate that huge toy in my rather tiny pussy; and if I did, my pussy might never be the same.

"Nonsense." Ben said with confidence. "This will fit just fine." And Ben twisted the base of "big red", it started to buzz loudly.

I suddenly remembered something else even more critical. "Ben, I can't do this right now. I have my diaphragm in place."

"Does that matter, mom?"

"Oh baby, that thing is so huge, it could damage the diaphragm."

"Well, mom, take out your diaphragm."

"Ben, if I do, I need you to promise me that you will not enter me until I have it back in place."

Ben smiled, "Mom, I promise you, I will not enter you until you can put it back in place. I really mean it. This is for you. Honest."

OK, this was important to my son; so I decided to give it a go. Hell I have never been able to say no to Ben and stick with it on any subject. I squatted down and removed the diaphragm, and placed it end table next to the couch. The large volume of spermicidal jelly remaining in its concave belly, and some in my belly, I suppose.

But as I approached the buzzing device, I realized there was yet another problem with 'geometry' that Ben had not anticipated. The vibrating head was far too high for me to mount from the floor. I was not nearly tall enough to straddle the damn thing in place, on the chair.

Ben tried to have me stand on the chair seat and lower myself down, while he steadied the chair. But it was far too unsteady, and there was no way for me to lower myself on this enormous device without truly ripping my pussy in two. And the scene of me trying was neither sexy nor graceful, I realized.

I climbed down off the chair. "Baby, this just is not going to work. I can't climb on that damn thing without really hurting myself. And I mean really hurting myself, baby." As I spoke, I realized, now that I was back to attempt to comply with Ben's instruction, I had returned to calling him 'baby'. I was back in compliance and submissive mode. I was learning some things about myself.

Ben stood and studied the situation for a second, and then his face lit up. "If Mohammad won't come to the mountain.....", he said in a moment of epiphany. I saw no reason to correct his obvious misquote here, I had more pressing concerns.

After wrestling the vibrator free of the chair, Ben took me and the vibrator back to the couch. He laid me back, pushed my heels back towards my ass and spread my knees apart. "Mom, hold yourself open for me."

I reached down, and pulled my vaginal lips open as instructed, realizing that I had lost all semblance of modesty around my son. I was opening myself up in the most obscene manner possible for my son's gaze and pleasure. Ben placed the head of the huge device at my opening and started to slowly work it in and out, penetrating me about a inch at a time.

"Oh, Ben, be careful. I don't know if I can do this baby." I cried out. There was a real sense of panic in my voice. The size of the head definitely scared me a bit. "Not too fast, baby, go slow. My God. I don't think it is going fit, baby."

The huge head was stretching me wide open. Maybe, it was because of the texture of the unyielding plastic head just created more friction than a real penis; maybe it was simply larger than Ben was; maybe I simply was not as open, lubricated and aroused as I had been when Ben was fingering me moments before. But, regardless, I was struggling to accept this enormous device in my 39 year old vagina.

It was stretching me to the point that I did not know if I could take it. I part of me wanted to ask Ben to stop before he tore my vagina; but much more of me wanted to do this for my son. I wanted to accept his present inside me.

"Baby, just go easy. You don't want to tear mommy's pussy on the last day of summer." I was reaching around under my legs and pulling myself open as Ben continued the slow assault on my pussy. "Baby, I don't think mommy's pussy will ever be the same again after you get that thing in me." I really meant 'if' you get that inside me.

At the same time, there was something arousing about struggling to accept this vibrating demon up inside me.

Then Ben started twisting the dildo slightly as he moved it in and out of me. Suddenly, almost magically, the large head seemed to pass a tight restriction at the very mouth of vagina more easily and slid about two or three inches deeper inside me. I must have dilated a bit more; more than I ever had before.

The twisting motion and the vibrations worked together and I began to start to respond. Once past the first restriction in my vagina, I was far more open and the vibrating head felt good on my inner walls. "Oh, baby, that's it. I think we did it! I think you made it past my opening. It is starting to feel good." I pushed myself down against Ben's thrusts. After his initial 'break through', deeper penetration seemed much, much easier, and enjoyable. My natural lubrication was making the stretching of my tight little pussy enjoyable rather than painful as I had feared moments ago

I started to moan and hump back as Ben began to stroke longer deeper strokes in and out of my fully dilated vagina. I felt an orgasm building when Ben stopped fucking me with the dildo, leaving it vibrating in place. "oh baby, please don't stop. I am almost there." I pleaded.

But Ben pulled me forward, pulling me almost into a sitting position, I was forced to reach down and grab the large dildo to keep it from shooting out of me on to the living room floor. Glancing between my legs, I could see more than 3" of this monster still sticking out of me, indicating I had taken less that 5 inches or so; yet, I felt so very, very full.

As he pulled me to a standing position, I struggled, not to hurt myself by driving the toy too deep, too fast. Standing up, slightly bowlegged, I continued to hold the vibrating tool in place as Ben walked me to the chair which he instructed me to straddle. The vibrator slid out of me slightly. Ben reached between my legs and affixed the suction cup to the seat of the chair as I straddle the chair per Ben's directions.