Kiss Me Goodbye

Jack was in a daze. He wanted more, but was also glad for the respite. Things needed to calm down. He glanced at the TV. "Oh, look! 'Medical Center'!" he said. Elyse didn't look. She was too busy looking him in the eyes, trying to tell him what she didn't dare say.

Jack tried to remember that he had just met this girl a little over a week ago. Yet he had the feeling that he had always known her. There was still a part of him that was fighting deep down inside him. He would have to deal with it soon or this beautiful creature would be out of his life as well. He shoved that nagging doubt aside for the moment and returned all his attention to Elyse who was stroking the side of his face.

They kissed and held each other well into the New Year. As he was leaving, Elyse stopped him at the door.

"I didn't get to show you the present you gave me."

She stepped back from him, slowly unzipped her sweater, and held it open for him.

The pretty pink blouse was only buttoned on the bottom three buttons. The top was unable to close over her breasts. It still was able to cover them, even open, but barely.

She wasn't wearing a bra underneath.

"I think I'll keep it and wear it only for you," she said as she closed her sweater and kissed him goodnight.

* * *

Jack was lying in bed knowing he hadn't felt this way in a long time. A voice was still screaming at him from the back of his mind, but that voice was getting fainter. He found that he wanted to see her again. No. Not again. Now. A voice in his head said, 'Boy, when you fall, you fall hard!' He smiled and went to sleep. It was the best night of sleep he had had in months.

* * *

Elyse was lying in bed thinking that she really had no intention of opening her sweater in front of Jack. She was just going to keep the blouse because he had given it to her. She didn't know what made her do it. Even Lee, with all his groping and fondling, never got that much of a view. She knew the answer. Oh yes, she knew. She loved Jack. Even the thought of his name sent an electric thrill through her. Tonight he was hers. She had to figure out how to keep it that way. She couldn't let up or the memory of Holly might destroy things. Oh! How Elyse wished that girl had never existed.

* * *

The following evening, Jack asked Elyse out to the movies. They went and had a great time, snuggling and kissing through out.

They had no idea that they had been noticed.

* * *

The next day at work, Jack was on break and heard "Jack line 4. Jack line 4." He walked over and answered the phone. There was no one there. He shrugged his shoulders and went back on break.

* * *

That night he asked Elyse to go out to dinner with him. She answered the door ready to go. She was very excited and it showed. No guy had ever taken her out to dinner before. He took her to a local Italian restaurant. When they were being seated, she took off her maxi coat to revel a beautiful pink gown that made her look regal. He had already noticed that she had her hair done up in a bun on her head with side combs that sparkled in the light. She could have passed for royalty. He shook his head. He couldn't believe this wonderful creation wanted to be with him.

They ordered and ate, behaving themselves the entire time.

When they returned to her house, she asked him to come in a moment. He waited for her to return as he stood by the door. She came back holding a small pin that had a heart with an arrow through it. She pinned it on him. It was only at that moment that he realized that she was wearing one as well. "There," she said, patting him where she had pinned it on. "That makes it official. We belong to each other now."

He didn't know what to say, so he said nothing. He kissed her and said goodnight.

When he got home, the phone was ringing. He answered it.

"Hello,"

There was nothing other than the sounds of clicks and the eventual dial tone.

* * *

Jack was lying in bed replaying the wonderful dinner and evening he had with Elyse. He couldn't imagine Elyse looking any more beautiful. The pin was a complete surprise and he agreed with the symbolism. He knew he had to start college again in a few days and that was going to cut down his free time dramatically. Any time away from Elyse was torture. He found himself not looking forward to it.

* * *

Elyse was lying in bed glowing with the image of Jack on her mind. Tonight was the most special night of her life! Jack was so polite and handsome it made a shudder go through her just thinking of him. She was so thrilled that he accepted the pin. Now she truly felt that they were a couple. She looked forward to each moment with him.

* * *

Jack went back to college that following Monday. The courses were going to be difficult this semester. He was worried that between work and studying that he would never see Elyse.

When he got home, he had a few minutes before he had to go to work. As he changed, the phone rang. He went to answer it.

"Hello,"

"Jack..." and there was a click.

He looked at the clock. It couldn't have been his Mother. She would have been on her way home at that time. He called Elyse. She wasn't home. He didn't have any more time for detective work, so he let it alone and went to work.

"Jack, you have a call on line 2. Jack, line 2," said the PA system.

He went to the nearest phone and answered. "Hello?"

"Jack..." and click.

Somebody was having fun with him and it wasn't funny any more.

* * *

It'd been a long week and he finally had a chance to see Elyse. He hadn't seen her for days and was so excited that he was shaking. He arrived at her door and she was waiting for him. She almost knocked him over as she jumped up on him. He had come to a realization the night before. He knew it to be true and he was sure he was going to say it sometime that evening. He just hoped that it wouldn't come out at the wrong time. They walked into the living room and Shelly was just finishing watching the news.

"Hi Jack."

"Hi Shelly. How are you?"

"Much better now that you're here. I don't need to keep hearing Elyse go on and on about you. Well, I'll leave you two alone," she said, giving him a wink.

Elyse jumped on him, knocking him down on the sofa. She tried to kiss his face away. Finally she found his mouth and they didn't move for over an hour. When she lifted her head he said it.

"I love you Elyse. I think I have since you hit me with your book. I'm sorry it took so long for me to realize it."

She felt tears starting to run down her cheeks. "My Knight in Shining Armor. I love you, too." She looked in his eyes and still felt the dark cloud over him. She couldn't put her finger on it, but it was still there, even though he loved her.

* * *

Several hours went by with no sound coming from the living room. Shelly started to be alarmed by the silence. She prayed they were still there and not on their way to Maryland to get married. She peeked. They were there. They were on the sofa looking at each other, kissing and petting each other. She could feel the love coming from them. She couldn't be happier for her daughter. She knew the feeling. She had shared it with her husband for many years before his heart attack. She snuck back to her room and slept a satisfied sleep. The following morning she found them both sleeping on the couch, fully clothed, with their faces an inch apart from each other.

'She couldn't have picked better,' she thought to herself. She moved as quietly as she could and left for work.

* * *

The semester dragged on. Shelly never said a word about the night when Jack fell asleep with her daughter on the couch. He tried to see Elyse as much as he could, but sometimes it was only every other week. He longed to feel her lips and she waited for his touch.

Spring break was coming up in two days. In a bold move, he requested time off from work and made a reservation at a hotel in the city. He wanted to surprise Elyse with this trip and hoped that she wouldn't think badly of him. He knew if she accepted they would probably not come back in the same virginal state as they had left. He felt that he was finally ready and he hoped the same was true for her. He broke the news over dinner at her house the next day.

Elyse sat in silence. He realized he had over stepped his bounds and fumbled with the words to retract his statement. She held a finger up to quiet him.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" she asked, as she folded her hands in front of her.

"Ah, I guess," he said.

She got up from the table and walked around to him. He was waiting for the slap across the face and the words 'Get out!' Instead, she held his face in her hands and kissed him. "I'm ready, my 'Knight in Shining Armor'."

* * *

Jack was elated as he drove home. He finally was ready to be with a girl, or, now that he thought about it, a woman. As he walked into his house, the phone was ringing. He answered it.

"Jack, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I have to talk to you."

Time came to a halt.

* * *

It was nine months ago. He and Holly were arguing again about her wanting to consummate their relationship.

"I've told you, I'm not ready for that!" he said, holding his hands out in front of him as if to seek her understanding. "Why can't you except that?" he pleaded.

Holly was pacing back and forth, "I love you and you love me. What more do we need?"

"Things are not going to be the same afterward. I know it. We'll drift apart. I don't want that to happen," pleaded Jack.

"I don't think you really love me. I've thought that as soon as you refused to make love to me," she stopped and stood with her hands on her hips.

"That's not true, Holly, and you know it!" he snapped back.

* * *

"We need to talk," said Holly.

Jack was shaking. "There is nothing to talk about."

"Yes there is, Jack. I still love you and I know you love me."

"There is nothing to discuss," he said through clenched teeth.

"There is much to discuss. Meet me at the diner in ten minutes. I know you won't let me down." She hung up.

He hung up the phone and a wave of anger and hurt welled up in him.

There was no way he going to see her.

* * *

He walked into the diner ten minutes later. Holly was sitting in a booth in the back. As he walked up to her, his heart started to hammer in his chest. He sat down across from her and she smiled. She reached for his hand, but he snapped it back like it would bite him.

She ignored the rebuff. "I'm sorry I hurt you Jack. I've tried to allow you time to work off your anger on your own, hoping that you would come to your senses and come back to me. Now I see you have a new girl and I can't stay away anymore. You can't love her. You love me."

Jack closed his eyes and the remainder of that fateful last encounter came back to him in its vivid and hurtful form.

* * *

"That's not true, Holly, and you know it!" he snapped back.

"At first I thought that you might just be scared. I know some people are the first time. When I saw that wasn't the problem, I believed that you had my best interests in mind. Then I realized that it was you that was the problem. You don't love me!"

"I do love you Holly! More than you could ever know!" he replied, hoping she saw it in his eyes.

"Oh really? Maybe I'm sick and tired of waiting for you to show it. Maybe I've been sick and tired of it for a while," she sneered back at him.

"What are you saying? Are you breaking up with me?" he asked, truly lost in her meaning.

"I don't want to break up with you, but I want to know if you really love me. If you truly do, you won't like what I have to tell you. In fact, you should get extremely jealous. Then I'll know if you love me."

"What?" Jack asked, suddenly having a bad feeling.

"Last night I was feeling pretty blue about you always putting me off about sex. So, while you were at work, I went down to Burger King to get a shake. While I was in line, some good-looking guy named Jerry walked up and started a conversation. I've never seen him before and I didn't ask him where he was from. Well, when I finished my shake, I got up to leave. Jerry asked me if I wanted him to walk me home. I didn't mind. You know that short cut I always use through the woods, right? That takes about fifteen minutes off the trip. So, as we were walking through the woods, Jerry propositions me right there," she said, and then paused her story.

"So that's it? You drank a shake with a guy at Burger King and then he's polite enough to walk you home. Then he gets bold during the walk and asks you to do it with him. I'm not jealous of that. You're a good-looking girl. I give the guy some credit for being brave enough to ask something like that so fast," said Jack.

"No, no, no," she said, wagging her finger at him. "I'm not done."

"Did he grab you? Did he try to force you?" asked Jack, visibly getting upset.

"Oh, I seem to have hit a nerve. Good. It's nice to know you really do care," she said, smiling at him.

"Holly, just tell me. If this guy hurt you in any way, I'll hunt him down until I find him," said Jack, shaking with rage.

"Let me finish the story," she said, while patting Jack on the cheek. "Like I said, he drops the big question right there in the middle of the woods. It was already dark out and like I said, he was a good-looking guy. He wasn't pressuring me or grabbing me. It wasn't like that at all."

Jack didn't like the sound of the last sentence from her. "What happened?" His voice had a flat tone to it.

"Jack, I've been waiting for you for months. I know I said I was feeling a little blue yesterday, but in reality, I was feeling very horny. I couldn't wait for you anymore. Besides, I was convinced that you just didn't love me enough to do it. I just had to know what it was like!"

"You had sex with him?" His voice was still flat.

"Twice," she replied.

Jack was shaking again. "You did this willingly?"

"Sure, I had to know what I was missing. Let me tell you something Jack, you're missing the best part of life! It was great!"

Jacks' mind was beginning to cloud with rage.

"Are you jealous? Do you want to beat the crap out of Jerry? How about me? Show me that you really love me. My parents aren't home. Take me there and make love to me or beat the shit out of me Jack, but show me something!"

Jack was so angry that his vision was fading as he stood before her, trembling. How could a girl that he had loved for the last three years stand there and tell him she had sex with another guy as if it was part of a school project? He felt as if his heart had been torn out of his chest.

"Don't tell me you have nothing to say," she said, throwing her arms up in the air in disbelief.

Shaking with rage, Jack averted his eyes from hers down to his tightly clenched fists. In a quiet and even tone he said, "What I feel for you now..." he hissed through his teeth. All his love for her turned to hurt and...

He turned on her and walked away, never looking back.

* * *

"Come on, Jack. You know that this girl can't mean as much to you as I do. That Jerry guy was a one-time thing. I've been waiting for you to come to your senses and come back to me. We've loved each other for so long, how could you not want to start over again?"

"You have no idea what I feel for you now," Jack uttered.

"Sure I do. Call that girl and tell her that you're back with me now."

Jack rose from the table and started to head toward the door.

"Jack, wait. I know you two are going out of town tomorrow. It won't help things between us. Cancel the trip and plan it in the summer. That way you have some time to think. I know you still love me, otherwise you wouldn't have come."

Jack didn't turn to look at her. Instead he spoke over his shoulder to her. "I came to tell you to leave me and Elyse alone. Goodnight." he said and left the diner.

* * *

Jack was lying in bed knowing he did the right thing. Elyse would never do to him what Holly did. He knew it in his soul.

* * *

The next morning he was at Elyse's house helping to put her bags in the car. He opened the passengers' door to let her in and closed it. As he walked around the other side, he noticed Holly standing across the street a few houses down. He opened his door and told Elyse that he would be just a second and kissed her. He closed the door and walked over to Holly.

"Jack, are you sure you want to do this? I still love you. We can make it work."

"I love Elyse. Nothing could be clearer in my mind," he said as he started to turn. Holly stopped him.

"Jack, wait. Don't go! I love you Jack! That has to mean something to you!" she said, holding on to him.

"Not since that night it hasn't. Now there's only Elyse," replied Jack.

Tears were starting to fill her eyes. The realization had set in that she truly had lost him. Jack hated it when she cried.

"Jack, please, wait! Kiss me, just one more time."

He shook his head and started to turn. She held on tight and turned him back.

"Jack, please. I promise I'll try not to cry. Please."

A moment passed between them and he kissed her.

A hundred memories passed in each of their minds. When they were done, as promised, she didn't cry. She stepped away and pointed across the street.

"You better go. She's waiting for you. I'll always love you Jack. Goodbye," she said softly, reluctantly letting go of him as he backed away.

"I never want to see you again for the rest of my life," he replied over his shoulder, as he walked back to his car.

He opened the door and got in.

"Who were you talking to?" Elyse asked.

"My past," he replied, putting the car in gear.

"What? Elyse asked, and then it hit her. She snapped her head back to see Holly with her hands to her face and shaking with her sobs. Jack backed the car out of the driveway and passed Holly on the way down the street. "Jack was that..."

"Yes."

"She was crying Jack," she said, looking at his face.

"I know, I told her that I love only you."

A small smile formed on Elyse's face. She knew he was all hers, yet there still seemed to be the dark cloud over Jack that she sensed the first time she met him. It troubled her.

Jack felt better that he saw Holly one last time. It allowed the hurt to find closure. He took a few deep breaths. The unspoken darkest feeling of all no longer had a reason to exist. It left him with the last deep breath.

Elyse noticed it right away. "What?" she asked looking at him.

"Nothing, let's have the best time of our lives," he said, feeling born again, and putting his arm around her.

"Pull over," she said.

"Why..."

"Just pull over," she said.

"Don't you want to go?" he asked, as he pulled to the side of the road.

"Yes! I just want to look at 'My Knight in Shining Armour' for the first time without hate in his heart," she said, holding his face in her hands.

* * *

They arrived late to the hotel.