Kiss Me Goodnight SergeantbyEgmont Grigor©
Mid afternoon Ed Bacon closed the stationery shop that was also a licensed Post Office, Lotto Agency and newspaper agency. The Town Clock chimed out three peels and the sound of children being released from school rang out in the distance.
The inhabitants of North Crossing, population 2700, and farmers and fruit and vegetable growers from surrounding areas preferred to shop early, so the shop opened at 6:00, five mornings a week and from 8:00 to noon on Saturdays.
Those hours suited Ed and suited everyone but the boisterous Fielder brothers – Jimmy, Neville and Dan – and their father Silas. But no matter what hours the regular operators chose to open would never satisfy those cantankerous clowns who delighted in adding to the misery of lives of folk around them.
Ed looked down at the crossing, that actually ran east-west across the North River, and saw a woman get out of her vehicle, look at the signposts and then look at them again before stamping her foot in the dust beside the paved road. She looked ready to clout someone. She drove up in her 4WD pickup. As she passed him, going slowly and looking grim, he called "Hi" and the vehicle stopped, there was an uncomfortable sound of badly meshing metal and the vehicle reversed until stopping, the driver now opposite him.
"Where's Fitzroy Crossing?"
Stubbing out his one cigarette of the day, Ed said, "Back forty-five miles the way you came."
"Are you a lady?"
The reply was a withering look, a hiss coming through compressed lips.
He grinned. "You're lost."
She jammed down on her military-style cap and remained seated. "Laugh as much as you like you peasant. Where do I get diesel around here?"
"Everything around here shuts at 3:00, opens again from 6:00 am."
She snarled, "I'm near out of fuel."
"Too bad. You look rattled. Come home with me and I'll make strong coffee and do you a beef sandwich."
"What kind of racket are you pulling?"
Ed attempted to appear hurt. "I'm only being neighbourly, that's all."
"Well I'm not your neighbour."
He scratched at an ear lobe. "Well you are sitting too close to me to be anything else."
She smiled; she actually smiled and then asked, "Where's a motel?"
"We've got none but Fitzroy Crossing has three of them."
She scowled, "Oh thanks for that useful advice" and scratched under her left breast and catching Ed looking there snatched away her hand.
"Where's the hotel?"
"Burnt down. There was a riot inside it last year with the Fielder family upset the Catholics having a church service there on Christmas Day because their church was being renovated. The bars were closed during that ceremony. That night it burnt to the ground. Special police were brought in but they failed to pin the crime on to the Fielder mob or worshippers for that matter."
"You make it sound the Fielder mob are the only people around here with character; the others appear pious."
"I haven't spoken about other people."
"Then what are churchgoers and owners who shut their businesses down by mid-afternoon?"
"I thought as much."
"Well are you coming or not? You can put your vehicle in the other half of my garage where the Fielder brothers won't see it. You can sleep with me if you like."
"I'm not sleeping with you."
"Are you crazy woman? I have class. You sleep on the sofa."
"If I'd turned right instead of left when meeting North River I would be in a motel by now, in a spa pool drinking cold beer."
"Well I have a tin bath I suppose you can use. Don't blame me for your stupidity. Women often don't know their right from their left."
"Listen you jerk, that's men you're talking about."
"And you are being so rude my offer of hospitality is about to be rescinded."
"Rescinded – that's a big word for you. Oooh, I'm sorry. That just slipped out."
The smile that almost looked apologetic twanged a soft cord within Ed so he said, "Well I suppose I could do with some company. Are you male or female?"
The tough-looking woman stared at him, shaking her head. "Christ that's the biggest, most pathetic insult that's ever been heaped on me. Are you suicidal?"
"Nope, just attempting to make conversation with an edge of wit."
The woman stared at him and Ed stared right back thinking fucking women, who do they think they are?
"Do you have cold beer at home?"
"Of course, what do you think I am... an idiot?"
"Well I suppose if I want a beer I should avoid comment on that. Jump in."
The horrible sound of protesting metal sounded again.
"You're only got the clutch pushed half in."
Ed decided to shut up. What an aggressive bitch. Women are all the same; you can't tell them anything. "Drive around the block to behind this building. I'll open the garage door. I live above the shop which backs on to the garages."
"With the wife I suppose. Is she as insulting as you are with a suicidal bent or is she intelligent?"
"Are you insulting me?"
The bitch smiled, showing good teeth. "You tell me?"
Ed sniffed. "You are wearing perfume. You must be female."
"What's the penalty for murder in this state – we are in South Australia aren't we?"
"I don't murder so have no interest in knowing such detail. For your information I never into a regular turnover of women whom I toss out when the passion dies. I usually prevent them from wrecking the place or stealing anything when they leave."
"Christ, you almost sound like my kind of guy."
"Please don't insult me."
The pickup lurched on the sidewalk and the woman got it under control and back on to the street, narrowing avoiding hitting a street power pole. "Jesus asshole. Look what you made me do. Watch your mouth otherwise I'll fill it with your broken teeth," she said, lapsing into a drawl.
"Ohmigod, you're American."
"Yes, so you've taken in my superior intelligence?"
"No, your unremitting aggression, underlying the belief that if things don't go your way your natural instinct is to take the bastards out."
"Honey, that's not like Americans at all. We are peace-lovers and peace-keepers and we cannot be held responsible for believing the American way is the right way. Be a good man and open the glove box in front of you."
"What is it darling?"
"A WW11 Colt .45 handgun."
She crooned, "Oh darling, that's the first intelligence thing you've said to me since we met. It's loaded, please fully cock it and hand it to me," she said as she pulled up at the set of double doors as directed by Ed.
"So I can put a bullet through your head for making inflammatory remarks about Americans."
Ed calmly re-wrapped the revolver in its oilcloth, put it away and closed the glove box.
"Well, well. What do I have here? A guy who's no so stupid as I though and has enough guts not to be shaking like a leaf?"
"You are a menace to society."
"Oh darling, you misjudge me. I'm Army trained to be one of the good guys but unfortunately I'm really not of the right temperament to serve the peace-time military. I rose to 1st lieutenant in the Transportation Corps but was busted several times and I emerged into retirement, age forty, on the lowly rank of sergeant although technically even that was removed."
"Very interesting. And now you have arrived to terrorise Australia?"
"No, I'm on post-retirement vacation. Get the fucking doors!"
Ed looked at the glove box thoughtfully and then sighed and left the vehicle and unlocked the doors.
"Christ," he said, as she stepped out of the vehicle. "You're taller than me and that's six-one."
"Daddy milked a cow and I drank straight from the pail as soon as my mom weaned me. Hi mister, I'm retired Sergeant Debra Jones and please don't address me as Debbie until I decide I like you but that's not likely."
"I'm Edward Bacon but please call me Ed until I decide I like you which could be quite soon if sex looms."
"Well the only sex looming will be in your head, Ed."
"Follow me Debbie."
"Listen you jerk..."
"Oh darling, don't you want a cold beer and a warm bath that will take away travel weariness and allow me to decide whether or not you are feminine?"
Debra looked almost pathetic. "Why don't you show some fear of me?"
"Debbie, I'm ex-Special Forces known colloquially as 'The Clean Up Boys'. Part of my training was psychological warfare. Another part of my training means I could take you out any time I like."
They stared at each other until Ed said, "I'll run you a bath. Actually it's enamelled steel, not tin."
Debra called out, "Bring another beer."
Ed walked in with it and said, "I wondered how long it would be until you were overcome by the irresistible urge to show me your tits."
"Well I'm not a pretty face Ed so these have to be my best feature," she said, tapping one with her replacement beer can.
"Lift up and show me pussy."
"Get fucked," she said, hurling the cake of soap at Ed. His hand flashed up and he caught it, but only just because it was slippery. He tossed it back gently and it splashed down between her upper thighs, drawing a grin.
"This is an unbelievable coincidence, we two being ex-military."
He nodded. "Yes, it must seem like that, particularly off the beaten track out here. The fact is I'm here on a private mission."
"Oooh, tell me more."
"If I show you pussy will you?"
"Get fucked," Ed grinned. "I'll fetch my beer and a chair."
Ed explained the business and the home belonged to his parents. They'd had trouble with Silas and his wife and his father could handle that but when the Fielder's three sons returned home after losing their mining jobs Ed's father called and told him they had decided to close the business and try to sell the property. Ed who lived in Sydney said he'd take a month off and take over the business and attempt to sort out the Fielders. His parents were keen to holiday in his house he no longer shared with his wife who was divorcing him. "They went off like lambs."
"So everything you told me earlier about having women stay over until passion died was bullshit?"
"No, it was the truth. I've had three of them in two weeks."
"And now you have me but pity you, I'm not passionate."
They stared at each other until Ed grinned and invited Debra to stay the night.
"I'll sleep in the garage."
He grinned and said, "Don't be a stupid bitch Debbie. We do have a spare room."
"That remark was offensive. Take it back or risk being throttled in your sleep."
"Oh sorry. Don't be a stupid bitch Debbie. You can sleep with me."
Slowly a smile broke over her face. "You certainly do know how to provoke a woman. Why is your wife divorcing you?"
"She found a near neighbour has a longer dick than me."
Debra grinned and said that was grounds for divorce but was then told the real complaint was he was away from home too much.
"I run a security service... personal protection. In times of fuck-ups by my guys I get called out."
"And so you wisely married a woman who didn't understand?"
"She convinced herself and then me she'd cope easily."
"But women often don't understand themselves do they?"
Ed grinned and told Debra to be careful, she was almost sounding intelligent.
The hard-faced guest emerged in a sundress with built-in bra and hem up near her hips and wearing high-heeled sandals.
Her legs were stunning.
"Don't say anything," she gritted.
"What about?" Ed said laconically, pulling his eyes back into their sockets, blinking furiously and turned away to avoid being observed too closely. Like most women she was trying to interest him in fucking her and then would revel in the power of accepting or rejecting his overtures.
"Dinner's on. You have the choice of eating and then going or staying. I have a full drum of diesel in the garage."
He looked up and was surprised. His guest looked quite shocked.
"Dinner with a few drinks would be lovely. I've not have anyone to socialize for a while. I was tossed out of the Army for almost killing a guy who smacked up one of the women under my command. There were almost 150 witnesses watching us brawl. I suffered bruises and scrapes. He's likely to lose a testicle and required hours and hours of surgery to rebuild his ear I almost chewed off."
"You kneed him in the nuts?"
"No, in the wrestle I got his trousers down and then bit him."
Ed bit his bottom lip. Debra appeared to think that was disapproval but then he said, "Debbie, I'd like you to stay on for a few days and help me plan strategies. My problem is I can't get the Fielder brothers alone. They move around like conjoined triplets."
"So you're not disappointed I bit that guy's ball?"
"My only disappointment is you failed to rip it out if he beat up your solider sufficiently to deserve that."
"She was hospitalised for two weeks."
"Oh my hero," Ed said, patting a huge length of exposed thigh.
Debra looked down with something that sounded like the rumble of a growl at the back of her throat. Ed withdrew his hand, keeping his face impassive.
They ate, they chatted, they drank and they planned. Finally Debra yawned and said she would return to Melbourne but would be back in two or three days. "That's where I picked up my revolver. I drank in a shady bar for a couple of nights and asked where could I pick up a gun. I'm going back to that supplier to pick up some stuff we'll need."
"Debbie, I don't want the brothers killed or even seriously maimed."
"Okay I'll keep that in mind. From what you told me about them living in a former bank the premises will be well fortified. I'll slip away in the morning. I don't want people to know I was here and I'll glide back in."
"Phone me. I'll need to let you in. This place is semi-fortified."
"No, phoning will leave a trail. Leave it to me. I'm off to bed."
"Kiss me goodnight sergeant. You can't deny me that."
"Okay and you can grope a little but I'm not allowing you to seduce me, not on our first night."
"But why not?"
"Because you wouldn't respect me if I were that loose."
"But I do, I respect you heaps."
"Shut up and let me kiss you."
Actually Ed found himself allowed to grope rather generously. She helped him get a tit out and although Debra resisted when he went to finger pussy as he scraped around and it became damp – he was astonished to find she hadn't been wearing panties – those swell legs slowly opened and inside his two fingers tapped out 'America the Beautiful'. Eventually Debra stiffened and she cried, "Oh God, I didn't want to do this, not on our first night' and convulsed and gushed over his hand like a champion.
"I bet you needed that?"
She sighed and agreed.
"Come to my bed. I promise to do no more than hug you."
"I can't believe a man. You're all rotten to the core."
"Spoken like a woman."
She sighed. "Well you did promise... okay I'll sleep with you."
When they settled down Ed said, "Just kiss me goodnight sergeant one last time."
It was their best kiss all evening. He rolled over and she pressed into him and she sighed, "I think my pussy likes you... I can feel it moving against your skin."
Ed built up a huge boner but unfortunately it, er, ended up being held redundant.
He awoke next morning to find Debra gone and no warmth on her side of the bed. Ed sighed and wished she were there.
Two nights later Ed was asleep with his hand in its customary place around his dick when he awoke, to find the bedclothes pulled back and soft lips on the hand around his hardening dick.
"Debbie? How the fuck did you get into this home?"
The murmur sounded like, "Who else were you expecting?"
Ed lay back and let it happen.
Ed called, "Debbie, here they come."
Debra was reading in the storeroom behind the counter. She jumped up and looked through the one-way observation glass that had been installed when the store was built. She saw the three burly brothers crossing the street and heading for the store.
Their technique was interesting. After checking that Ed was the only person in the store one asked for the lotto ticket that kept Ed busy at the dispensing machine. The other two began stuffing items including chocolate and biscuits into pockets inside their jackets.
The lotto ticket buyer being handed his ticket called, "Come on guys, stop pissing about. We're off."
Debra had taken photos of the two brothers thieving items.
One and a half hours later with other people in the shop Ed alerted Debra by tapping a pen on the one-way glass. She saw the ugly Silas Fielder buy a lotto ticket while his wife calmly loaded cans of soup into her carry bag, shielding what she was doing from other shoppers by use of her extremely bulky body. Debra photographed the thieving bitch.
Late that afternoon after sex, with Ed joining Debra in the bath, she said, "The business must be losing a hundred dollars of product each time that thieving family comes into your store."
"Yeah, so three times a week is $300. Small cheese but this is a very small business and it's not very neighbourly."
She purred, "Well I think it's time we got rid of our unwholesome neighbours."
"I don't want them killed or permanently maimed."
"No, I agree. Just a few broken limbs."
"Is that all?"
Debra smiled. "I was attached to a training school for engineers as a drill sergeant for a couple of years so didn't complete that assignment without learning things. I put myself through their field course a couple of times. As I told you when I returned from Melbourne, I know how to use explosives and that's why I've hidden my vehicle away from here is that disused quarry. I didn't want investigators finding any traces of explosives in your premises."
"Which is why you purchased black body suits, gloves etc?"
"Yes and after our attack I take that clothing away with me and I burn it and then I disappear. I want you to get your parents back here two days before we attack. We have to assume the cops will be too thick to have you investigated in Sydney, knowing from what they'd been told you left two days before the attacks."
"So its attacks, plural now?"
"Yes. And on my night reconnoitring I've found an empty house where we can hole up for those two days. The police will find that house..."
"The old mill house?"
"Yes. So we'll leave false trails that make it look like a commissioned job from Melbourne. When I was there I bought some clothing that I'll leave in the house, along with receipts and I picked up a number of match boxes from seedy bars and receipts from their cash registers."
"Oh you clever bitch Sergeant Jones, retired."
"Why thank you Lieutenant Bacon, retired."
On the night of the day Ed's parents returned and Ed supposedly driving off to holiday in the north of South Australia, Debra used a portable acetylene pack she'd purchased on the black market in Melbourne to cut through the six bars over a rear window of the Fielder's family home. Ed didn't even have to force the window. It was unlocked and pushed up easily. He entered into what was the basement boiler room. No electronic alarm sounded but then none had been expected. Debra passed in the segments of the cut bars to him and then the acetylene equipment. They had been standing on a concrete path at the rear of the premises so there were no footprints to obliterate. She'd also cut the bars almost flush so there would be nothing untoward for any passerby the notice.
They went through the basement attaching explosives with clock devices top and bottom on each of the internal supporting pillars, Ed taking the explosive packs from his back-pack, allowing Debra to place them and attach the detonators she took from her backpack. When they'd finished she checked everything three times and then set the 48-hour time clocks.