Kiss Me Goodnight Sergeant

"We are engaged in criminal activities," she said, as they snuggled down on the floor of the old mill house, out on its own alongside the river.

"Yes and we'll get up to ten years in the slammer, more if people get killed."

She smiled and said she thought it could be up to fourteen years – "Explosives, property damage plus violence causing bodily harm."

"Oh don't forget a little bit of remission is we act as model prisoners," he smiled. "Do you want another round?"

"No twice a day is quite enough for someone not yet carnivorous."

"Very well. Kiss me goodnight sergeant."

* * *

The next evening, with the timers set to go off in thirty minutes, Debra and Ed were in position.

"That was a great idea of you booking into the hotel in Mildura and having dinner this evening served in you room, saying you were tired after hiking all day and then having already booked in at Broken Hill for tomorrow night. That suggests innocence personified and believable alibis if the police catch up with you."

"Yeah, I thought it was smart. And I can get back to Mildura from here before dawn in the morning. Providing we've not accosted and leave no evidence of our presence, we will have committed the perfect crimes baby."

"Ed, I don't think it's appropriate you call your sergeant baby."

"Hold it. Here they come. Thrown out on closing time. There's the five of them. Put on your ear muffs; we don't wish to put ourselves out of action."

Ed hurled the stun grenade – illegally held after being illegally procured – towards the family and saw them look at the road by them, imagining one of them saying. "What was that?" He then ducked to join Debra sheltering behind the corner of the brick building. They 'felt' the violent explosion rather than heard it. They ripped their earmuffs off, dropping them where they could be found, their gloves on to avoid leaving finger prints. Picking up their rubber covered heavy wood clubs they sped to the unconscious Fielders scattered over the pavement. They bashed the four males, shattering their kneecaps.

"They are no longer real menaces to society; the terrorizing of citizens of this small town," Ed gloated and then called "No!" as Debra broke the left kneecap of Mrs Fielder and then the other one.

"That bitch was up to her neck in it with them, aiding and abetting them and participating in their crimes."

"Okay, okay. It's just I couldn't have done it. Drop your club where it will be found, beyond them." Ed then hurled his club much farther beyond Debra's to indicate that was the direction in which the assailants had fled. Lights were going on around them and people were calling out as Debra and Ed, dressed in back, faded into the shadows. They reached Ed's car and he dropped Debra where she'd stashed her vehicle. He stood beside her vehicle as she started. It fired instantly.

"Well darling, nice knowing you."

" Likewise. I had such a lovely time. You've actually proved to be very compatible with me Ed now you've stopped talking to me like a tough guy. I hope we'll catch up one day. When I arrive to fly home from Sydney perhaps."

"I hope so too. Well good luck with the rest of your vacation, but before you depart, kiss me goodnight sergeant."

"Hmmmm. Oh you sexy thing Ed. Bye. Take care."

Both of them were more than five miles away from the scene when the Fielder's lost their home. The entire three upper floors and walls collapsed inwards, scaring everyone nearby shitless as they awoke. Very little debris reached the street or adjoining properties.

The five injured Fielder's, being loaded into ambulances heard the detonations but none connected it with their home. Police attending them ran off in the direction of the explosions.

* * *

Almost two months later Ed arrived home late and was dismayed to find lights on, music playing and the front door wide open. He snarled indignantly, reaching for his phone to call for backup, "My home was supposed to be a secure fortress."

"Some secure fucking fortress," he moaned as three guys he worked with arrived with shotguns and wearing flack jackets, helmets and goggles. He too dressed up protectively and was handed a shotgun.

They stormed through the front entrance, found signs of meal-making and fresh flowers in vases.

"Someone is in the lounge," his junior partner whispered.

They peeled off to enter the lounge in two directions.

"Oh hello boys. I'm Debra. Which one of you under those funny suits is Ed? I've been missing your dick Ed. Everyone grab a beer and join me. I'm thinking of signing on and working for the company providing the pay is good enough and I don't have to work nights. My specialities are breaking and entering, taking out the bad guys and communicating very effectively with clients."

"Hi Debbie. I knew it would be you," Ed said, removing his goggles, face mask and helmet.

"Liar," giggled his sergeant who'd decided to become his sweetheart. She'd met an old guy in Melbourne who could arrange permanent residency for her PDQ – pretty damn quickly.

THE END