Kiss My Ass

The following is an excerpt from A Murder in Eden, the third novel in my erotic science fiction series.

*

"You know," Noah sighed, "when I stand up here and wave my arms, there's a reason."

"You were waving your arms?" Rachel R said. "Really? I didn't notice." She turned to her sister. "Did you see him waving his arms up there?"

"It's not funny," Noah grumbled. "Can everyone see me, assuming they tried to look?"

"I can't," his brother said. "There's too much frizzy hair in the way."

"Watch it," Rachel L said, turning around to glare at him. "You could be frizzy too. Just because we're having a bad hair day."

"We were watching this old video," her sister said, "all the black characters had their hair like this."

"I liked it better in the little braids," Swirl said

"Oh, is that right?" Rachel R said. "How about you? I didn't know you could still sing with your clothes on. That album of yours, how could you do that?"

"I just pretended I was singing in the shower," Swirl said. "I just went into one of those mirrored rooms with all the hidden cameras and sang. I just pretended I was all alone. You know, I'll bet we would get a lot more attendance if we sang nude. The girls at least. Or make the choir robes really, really sheer. That would be cooler, too."

"Enough!" Noah said. "Enough! Paula, can you see me?" She was barely visible behind the keyboard.

"I could see you," she said, "if I had time to look. The music is too hard. I'm trying to pick up the tempo from the singers. They're supposed to be watching you."

"All right," Noah sighed, "you go back to singing." This brought an audible groan from the other altos. Paula could play the piano almost as well as her sister, but she could not sing a note. No, that was not quite true. There was one note that she could sing, and she tended to stick to it. "It's obvious that I'm wasting my time trying to conduct," he added. "I might as well play the accompaniment. At least I can set the tempo that way."

"Maybe I'll help with the babies," Paula said. That brought a sigh of relief from the Rachel twins. "I think mine is ready to nurse."

"Me too," Sarah said.

"Wait," Noah protested, "we're in the middle of a piece."

"If the babies don't get fed," Sarah said, "you won't be hearing anything else." She stood up, tucked Jacob under one arm, grabbed Esau off of Susan's lap, and walked out to the pews, dangling a baby on each side.

"Hi," she said, slipping in next to Paula, who was already nursing.

"Hi," Paula echoed. Her little girl was already twice as large as the twins; she seemed almost too big for Paula's little breasts

"How much longer are you going to nurse?" Sarah asked.

"As soon as they get teeth, that's the end of it," Paula said, and they both giggled. "Don't the Keepers have, like, really sharp teeth?"

"One of Karen's kids does," Sarah said, "he looks like a little vampire."

"What about H'raak?" Paula asked.

"I don't know." Sarah thought for a moment, playing back her session with the Keeper. "I don't think I ever saw his teeth. I never really saw his face. You could ask the Rachel twins." The singing had stopped again. "Hey Rachels," Sarah yelled, "did H'raak have sharp teeth?"

"He didn't have his real teeth," Susan said, "they were all implants."

"Oh, yuck!" Sarah said, "too much information."

"Get used to it, sweetie," Susan called back cheerfully. "There are parts of you your little nanobots can't repair."

"Wow," Paula said. She was punching at her phone furiously with her free hand, "teeth, knees, hips, shit, this being immortal isn't all it's cracked up to be."

"We've got a few years, a lot of years," Sarah said. But even as she was sitting there, her knees and hips were aching. "Do your hips hurt?" she added.

"Not so much," Paula said, "they're getting better."

"Didn't Adam tell you that you were a crazy bitch?" Sarah said. "That's certainly what he told us."

"He told me it was risky. He got really scared. I'm going to stop," Paula added. "No more babies, at least for a while."

"You have beautiful little girls," Sarah said. "Maybe some day one of my boys will marry one of your little girls." She arranged her future Romeos on her lap and began nursing.

"Well," Paula said, "that's a polite way to put it. They'll probably be practicing long before that." They both giggled at the thought.

"Paula," Sarah said, "I need to know something. Do you know about Adam and Noah?"

"What about them?" Paula asked, and Sarah told her where to look for the tabloid pages.

"Oh my God!" Paula said, "this is real? It's not just some faked up images?"

"Noah told me it was real," Sarah said.

"Wow," Paula said, "that is so strange!"

"You aren't, like, offended?" Sarah said.

"I suppose I should be, shouldn't I? You have to understand," Paula sighed, "I don't believe that Adam ever thinks about sex."

"What?" Sarah reflected on her own internal thinking. "That's not normal. He has no interest in sex? How can you stay married to him?"

"If I remind him, he'll remember. He can be very passionate, once he gets going. But you have to sort of trap him, distract him from whatever he thinks is more important. I'm very good at it," she added.

"Yes," Sarah said, looking at those perfect little breasts, "I'll bet you are."

"The thing is," Paula said, "I can't imagine Adam initiating. I mean, Noah is insanely gorgeous..." She paused, seeing Sarah's face darken, "I'm sorry," she said, "I didn't mean it like that." Yes, you did, Sarah thought.

"Well," Sarah said, "Noah thinks that Adam is creepy. Physically. There's something that happened when they were younger that still freaks him out."

"Really?" Paula said. "Doesn't Noah like Frank? God, I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Sarah said. "Frank raped Noah, did you know that? Two hours after we were married. And Noah fell in love with him. He was damaged, damaged."

"He seems okay," Paula said.

"No," Sarah said, "he's not. He can't control himself. It's my fault," she added, "I got him into it. I got all of us into this miserable little universe."

"Maybe," Paula said, "maybe if we'd never seen the school you were at on Halcyon, if we hadn't seen the theme park." Maybe we wouldn't be wealthy, she thought, and famous. "We've done okay," she said.

"Paula," Sarah said, "I need to know. What happened between you and Noah, in the pool?"

"The pool?" Paula seemed confused.

"The day Emil and Amelia were kidnapped," Sarah said. "Don't you remember, we all went out to talk in the pool? You and Noah decided to go skinny dipping together?"

"I went for a swim," Paula said, "it was hot. Why would I wear a bathing suit?"

"You were floating very close together," Sarah said.

"Were we?" Paula said. She frowned, trying to remember. "It was windy," she said, "it was hard to hear."

"What were you talking about?" Sarah asked.

Paula paused. "He told me I really looked great," she said at last. "He wanted to know how long it had taken me to recover from the pregnancy, and what I had done to lose weight. He was thinking about you," she added. "He was looking for things that could help you."

"Was he touching you?" Sarah said.

"Touching me?" Paula said. "We were treading water. Our hands may have brushed. Look, where are you going with this?"

"Later," Sarah said, "we were all down in the shade. We were all huddled together."

"Yes," Paula said, "I was pressed next to Laura and you, breast to breast. It was very erotic. You know," she added, reaching over to brush Sarah, just above where Esau was busy suckling, "if you ever want to come over some time and have lunch, have a little fling ..."

"I'm not doing that," Sarah said. "Not right now."

"I'm sorry," Paula said. "God, I keep putting my foot in my mouth." She picked up one foot and examined it. It was obvious that she was flexible enough to suck on her toes.

"Paula," Sarah said, "do you remember Noah moved behind you? He was touching you?"

"He wasn't pressed in like you were," Paula said, "I don't think I really noticed. Maybe he was just brushing me."

"Did it ever occur to you," Sarah said, "what part of his anatomy he was brushing you with?"

"No," Paula said, "no." She started to blush. "Sarah, I thought it was just his hand, just accidentally brushing, then maybe not so accidental."

"His hand," Sarah said, "you thought it was his hand. He fucked you. You let him fuck you. Right next to me."

"No," Paula said, "no. That's crazy. Even if we had wanted to, the angle was all wrong. There was no lubrication."

Sarah thought about it. "You seem to be very aware of all these problems," she said. "You were trying to let him in. You were opening yourself to him."

"No," Paula said, "no."

"I don't believe you," Sarah said.

"What?" Paula said. "You think I'm lying to you? Sarah, I thought we were friends."

"So did I," Sarah said. "So did I. Time to sing again," she added. She started to rearrange her top.

"Wait," Paula grabbed her shoulder. The smaller girl had a surprisingly strong grip. "What does Noah say?"

"He thinks he fucked you," Sarah snapped, "your husband thinks it happened."

"What?" Paula was so startled she let go. "Oh my God," she said, "is that why ..."

Sarah nodded. "It was revenge, or repayment, or something."

"He never said anything to me." Paula frowned. "You know, Adam would be perfectly capable of knowing that nothing happened, but knowing that Noah thought that something did happen, and taking advantage of Noah."

"What?" Sarah was dazed. "Could you go a little more slowly on that one?" "If he thought Noah was feeling guilty, he would take advantage of it. Don't you see?" Paula gazed earnestly into Sarah's blue eyes, but there was not a hint of comprehension there. "It's the way his mind works. Adam is very, very subtle."

"Devious?" Sarah said.

"Devious in a sneaky way. He won't actually lie to you, but he won't go out of his way to tell you the truth, either. If you are mistaken, and it's to his advantage, he'll let you stay this way." Paula sighed.

"Goddess," Sarah grumbled, "and you love this person?"

"With all my heart," Paula said. "Don't you love Noah?"

"That's different," Sarah said, "Noah is my fault. I got him into all this." She thought for a moment. "No," she thought, "that's not true, is it? There was Eve, and my sister, and the little lizards ..."

"Eve?" Paula was stunned. "She never told me."

"Ask her, dear. Did he come?" Sarah was too confused by Paula. She needed to sort out details.

"Did who come?" Paula was confused now also. There were so many different sex acts under discussion that she had lost track.

"When my husband was rubbing you, or fucking you, or touching you, or whatever he was doing to you, did he come?"

"Maybe," Paula conceded. "It got a little more urgent, you know what I mean? Sarah, I'm sorry, I should have stopped him. It was stupid. It was like a little private joke, you know."

"Up your ass," Sarah said, and Paula thought it was a curse. She started to flush with anger. "Up your ass," Sarah repeated, very thoughtfully, "he could have gone up your ass from that angle."

"That's where he was rubbing," Paula conceded.

Sarah did something unexpected then. She set her babies down on the pew, and took Paula's head, pressed to hers, and kissed her. The smaller girl was shaking, more with fear than with desire. Sarah pulled broke the kiss and whispered into her ear. "You let him touch you." She felt Paula nod. "You made it easier. You spread out your legs, you shifted to make sure he was in the right place."

Another nod.

"That was all," Paula whimpered, "that was all there was to it."

"He never went in?" Sarah asked.

"Not really," Paula sighed. "What difference would it make? Maybe, right at the end, he was getting too close, and I broke it off, okay?"

"Maybe you were a little late?" Sarah was crying now.

"Maybe I was a lot too late. Sarah, I'm sorry. I don't know what to say. This world has corrupted us, corrupted me."

"Eve was doing a good job of that, even before we found the transit station," Sarah said.

"Yes," Paula sighed.

"I met a woman today," Sarah said, "I think she is a holy woman. She told me that if we lose sight of the light, if we stop striving for the light, even for an instant, we are lost."

"That's what I believe also," Paula said. "But sometimes I blink, you know?" She paused. "Sarah, I'm so sorry. I kept telling myself it was nothing, nothing, not to worry about it, just shrug it off. But it was something, wasn't it?"

"I don't know," Sarah said, "if it wasn't in the tabloids ... but now, Goddess, I look like a fool. Karen told me that the whole time she was married to H'raak the papers there -- they still have real newspapers there, printed on real paper, did you know that, anyway they just made fun of her, how she couldn't control her husband. I don't know, I just feel so humiliated. And you did it right beside me, Goddess, you were touching me, we were nipple to nipple." She stopped then, remembering suddenly how Laura had been brushing her on one side, Paula on the other.

Paula saw how intently Sarah was looking at her. "My offer of lunch stands," she said.

"I would love to have lunch with you," Sarah said. "But that's all. That's all I want." But her eyes betrayed her.

"What are you going to do now?" Paula asked.

"Do now?" Sarah shrugged. "I'm going to sing. After that ..."

"What did Noah say?"

"He said he was sorry. He's always sorry, so sorry. He's training again, did you know that?"

"You let him?"

"Mary and Lydia convinced me it was very urgent. There's a delegation from Nirvana coming and they are looking forward to fucking the little wonders they sent us."

"You should teach those kids how to bite their dicks off." Paula was in a cold fury now.

"Oh no, they'll be treated as honoured guests. Mary's Order is trying to forge an alliance with them, to make sure that from now on they will send us students instead of sacrificing them. It's progress, don't you see, it's progress. My husband is doing his part to help save the world, and if it breaks my heart, well, who am I to stand in the way of progress?" Sarah was crying now. "I can't sing like this," she said.

"Come with me," Paula said. "They won't miss us." They gathered up the babies, all three were asleep, and headed to the back of the church.

"Where are we going?" Sarah asked, as they worked their way down a darkened staircase.

"My office," Paula whispered.

"Isn't this, like, sacrilege?" Sarah asked. There was no doubt in her mind what why Paula was taking her down into the bowels of the church.

"Yes," Paula sighed, "I suppose so."

"It wouldn't be the first time, would it?" Sarah said.

Paula stopped dead in her tracks. "Yes," she said, "yes, it would be, will be, may be, whatever. Let's go back." She turned around.

"No," Sarah stopped her. She had a baby in each arm, but she reached out a foot to block the other girl's way. "No. You owe me one."

They went into Paula's office without another word. A dim light trickled through the windows; they left it that way, almost dark, but as their eyes adjusted they could see each other clearly enough. There was room on the couch for the babies. That left the desk, piled high with clutter, for the two of them.

"All right," Sarah said, "who is going first? Choose for it?" Giggling, she held out a fist, Paula an open palm.

"Paper beats rock," Paula said. She pulled off her shorts and sat on the desk, spreading a leg out to each side.

"No good," Sarah said. "Take your shirt off. Sit up. Like that." She took off her own shirt. "Nipple to nipple, that's what got us in trouble, wasn't it. Did anyone ever tell you that you have a perfect little body?"

"Of course." Paula leaned forward to caress Sarah's lips with her own. "Did anyone ever tell you that you were the most beautiful woman in the universe?"

"Not lately," Sarah said. "My sister, maybe, or Karen. Not me, not any more."

"Yes," Paula said, "you." She kissed between the other girl's breasts, down her belly. "Take your shorts off."

"I thought you were going first," Sarah said, but she did not hesitate to step out of the shorts.

"I want to see."

"You've seen me."

"I want to taste."

"That's different. Oh, Goddess! Where did you learn to do that! No, don't stop to tell me!" Each touch of Paula's tongue was a revelation. Her fingers knew just where to caress, where to probe, to magnify, to resonate, so that Sarah's whole body was tingling with pleasure. If I come, she thought, it's going to end it, but it didn't end, it just made her start to tremble, to quake with an urgency that could never be filled. And, just when it seemed that she could not take any more, that she would faint from exhaustion, the tongue quickened, the fingers dug in, and she realized that she had not been coming at all, not compared to this final explosion.

"Remember," Paula said, when she was free to speak again, "Eve is my wife."

"You do this for Eve?" Paula nodded. "And she for you?" Another nod. "All the time?"

"Of course. Adam too."

"Adam can do that for you?" Sarah was revising her opinion of him very quickly.

"Yes," Paula was spreading her legs again in invitation.

"I'm going to be a disappointment," Sarah said. "I'm not that good. Lift up your ass more."

"Why, what are you doing? No, don't lick me back that far, I don't like it. Oh, God, do you have your tongue up my ass?" There was a muffled murmur of agreement. "Oh, that's so gross!" But the tongue began to move, and fingers found her clitoris, and she climaxed.

"Did you like that?" Sarah asked.

"Oh God, I don't know! It was different, I'll say that!" Paula was trembling still.

"Adam has never, you know ..."

"With his tongue?" Paula shook her head.

"Any part of him?" Sarah said, but the other girl did not respond. "Sorry," Sarah added quickly, "it's none of my business."

"How can you do that?" Paula asked.

"It's part of our training," Sarah said. "You get used to it. Try it."

"What?" Paula's face was hard to see in the dim light, but the tone of her voice indicated her disgust.

"Try it," Sarah said. "You can work on a little surprise for Adam and Eve."

"No way in hell," Paula said.

"Do you believe in hell?" Sarah asked. She was sitting back in Paula's desk chair now, probably staining it with the moistness of her groin.

"Hell?" Paula drew her knees up to her chin, suddenly pensive. "I don't know. It's in the Bible. Some people think most of us are going to hell, and some think most of us are going to heaven. Didn't you read Dante?"

"That was bullshit," Sarah said, "that was nothing like what hell is really like."

"You've been there?" Paula asked. It was a serious question. There was something about Sarah's tone that gave her an air of authority.

"I was in hell for a thousand years," Sarah said, with great conviction. "I'm only out on probation. The way things are going I'll be back there soon enough."

"No," Paula said. She reached out to touch the other girl's hair. She began to kiss her, but remembered where that tongue had been, and drew back. "No," she repeated, "you're just imagining it."

"No," Sarah said, "I can remember, I can remember what it was like."

"Fire and brimstone? Demons tormenting you?"

"No," Sarah said, "it was grey, like a cold grey fog, and your body aches, even though you don't have one, like you need to stretch your muscles, you need to use the bathroom, you've been asleep too long, but you can't wake up, because you don't exist. You need to scratch an itch, but there is nothing to scratch. They say," she went on, "that if people lose an arm or a leg, it can still ache, it can still itch. It's that way when you lose your whole body. It still feels like it's there. It's hungry, but you can't feed it. It's horny, but you can't touch it. It's restless, but there's nothing to move. It's just grey. All you have are memories. And you can't remember anything that is happening now, happening in hell. You can try to count to a billion, but you can't remember back more than three numbers. I did it once," she added.