Monday, 28 August 2012
Vic just called me. She said that she couldn't sleep. She said that she couldn't stop thinking about how I looked at the lunch yesterday afternoon. She said that it was all that she could do not to follow me into the ladies room when I'd excused myself! She asked me why it was that I was awake. She said that she was just going to let the phone ring once, just to take the edge off and that it frightened her when I answered. She's a silly girl! She said that she was going to hang up anyway even after she heard me answer the phone! She said that just hearing my voice made her clit ache. She sounded as if she wanted to cry! We both wanted to cry! On this cool night in Kingston two women can come to an agreement, I think.
I told her to read this blog. I've given her the URL... I guess that we'll see how things go from there.
Posted by Cinner @ 3:28 a.m. 5 Comments Labels: Links to this post
Sunday, 27 August 2012
Family time today for Uncle John's birthday! For those of you who don't know any Jamaicans, family time is big for us. It's the sort of thing that you see in movies celebrating Italian families. Vic and Tina, and everyone else were there. Vic and I were friendly. We laughed a lot. I hope that we didn't overdo it. I was careful to only touch her twice. I touched her because I wanted to touch her and because I didn't want it to seem as if I didn't want to touch her; as if there was something wrong about touching her; you know what I mean? I just didn't know how many times would be natural. I need to watch my own behaviour more carefully. As I type this, I know that I'm going to have an affair with Victoria.
Posted by Cinner@ 5:52 p.m. 8 Comments Labels: Links to this post
Sunday, 27 August 2012
I was right. Seb made me pose for him wearing only the scarf. I didn't know that I'd be able to pull of this kind of striptease. I kept thinking that I was doing it for Vic even though I know that I'd probably be too shy to do it for her for real. I kept imagining that it was she who was looking at my breasts as they bounced; that it was her mouth, watering for me. I kept seeing her trailing her fingers down my flesh, stopping just short of tickling me. I kept feeling her kissing me under my breasts and down toward my navel. She's gentle about sucking my pouting nipples. Her kisses are the gentlest of sips. I try not to squirm since I don't want to distract her from what she's doing to me. I kept imagining the hunger in her eyes as she looked at my curves, by generous bottom, my round boobies. Tina's like me physically so I know that she likes that in a woman. I don't know why we didn't think of this opportunity before. I think that Vic and Seb are alike; or is that Seb and Tina?
Anything like a reality check to kill a fantasy? I think of Seb and Tina and I was back in bed and it was Seb who was working me over. He was doing all the right things. He sucked and munched my nipples (a little too hard if the truth be known, but I've stopped trying to correct him) and lapped away at my clit as if it was the sweetest honey that he'd ever tasted, but it was not the same as it was before; before I knew how much I want to kiss Victoria and have her make love to me.
I reflect that Seb is no longer enough for me. I reflect as I type this that that is the real danger of having an affair. On some level it's an admission that your Partner is just no longer good enough for you. Vic says that she's going to teach me how it feels to have my pussy eaten by a real woman. I can't get that promise out of my mind. I want it even if we don't do anything more than that. I want to know what it feels like to be really well taken care of. I wonder if I should ask her if she thinks that it would be a good idea to have Seb watch us. He might like the girl-on-girl action; and wouldn't that make it not having an affair if he were there with us? I want to know what a dildo up my ass feels like. I expect to be disappointed, but I still want to try.
Wait a minute! I've been posting here for three days now. Vic knows about my online identity! She may see this someday and know that it is I who wrote about us! I suppose it doesn't matter. Without having her make love to me, I'm dead anyway. What a confession! Yet, even as I type this I know that I'm not going to suppress this. I'm going to bate fate and post it. Damn fate! I can always say that it was a joke can't I? Well, I could say that if I delete these last two lines, but I know that I won't.
Seb is calling me back to bed. I have to go. Good night, my Love.
Posted by Cinner @ 1:15 a.m. 28 Comments Labels: striptease, Links to this post
Saturday, 26 August 2012
I had lunch with Vic and Tina and the others today at Sovereign. It was awkward. I couldn't look at Vic, and Tina noticed, I'm sure. She probably thinks that I'm upset because they didn't come by the house last night for drinks when we invited them. I missed them, yes, but how much can you miss someone when surrounded by 50 of your Partner's closest friends? Tina wanted to buy me a scarf to make it up to me. I declined and she got miffed as if I had hurt her somehow by not accepting her peace offering. It was not necessary, but I took the scarf. It is beautiful. It reminds me of the metallic threaded scarf that Vic wore to the opening at the Mutual Gallery in May. She was beautiful! At the time I noticed, but didn't if you know what I mean. When I'm sleeping naked with it tonight, Seb is probably going to think that it's the kinkiest thing that he's seen in years. I need to find my diaphragm.
Posted by Cinner @ 4:42 p.m. 16 Comments Labels: Links to this post
Friday, 25 August 2012
I could not sleep last night and I haven't been able to concentrate today. It was that kiss. It wasn't a peck on the cheek or even an innocent kiss on the lips. She was hungry and so was I, it seems. She was pulling my tongue into her mouth and my body on to hers. She nearly tore my blouse! I didn't care! What I need more than anything now though is to understand what's happening with me. I need to understand why I can't stop thinking about her. I had never felt so alive! I need to understand why incest is wrong. Seriously, I need to know that it is more than just canalization in a social psychological sense. I know that some people groups don't frown on it, and even King Tut married his sister, so why does Judeo-Christian tradition say that we can't love who we want to.
Hell! LOVE!!! That's a four-letter word if I ever heard one! Do I love Vic? She is exciting and she's offering me a chance to explore my wilder side. There is nothing wild about what we want to do though. She wants to show me how a woman is supposed to be loved. She wants to show me the things that Sebastian has failed to do to me. I want to learn what she has to teach me. The fact that she's my cousin should make this less, not more, icky. I felt every pore in my body open up ready to receive her. I have never felt this way before. I'm both excited and afraid.
Will I dream of her tonight when I go to bed? I don't know, but I feel better now. I know that I feel that this is NOT wrong. She has a girlfriend, yes; but would that be considered cheating? Would Sebastian see it the same way as if I went off with some random stranger and would Tina think the same of her? This gets more and more complicated with each passing day.
Posted by Cinner @ 9:29 p.m. 14 Comments Labels: Links to this post
Thursday, 24 August 2012
Sliding Down the Slippery Slope
I kissed my cousin for the first time today. I know that this is not something that a grown woman should be taking about in public since it smacks of incest. Who the hell am I kidding, it is incest! It's on the slippery slope of actually sleeping with Veronica. I would have said that I didn't believe in incest. I would have said that it was wrong. Somehow it doesn't feel wrong and now it seems as if the person who is really off limits is my brother. I didn't want to think too much about the size of his dick and so I told myself that I didn't endorse that kind of lifestyle. Of course, I've just confessed that I was thinking about his dick.
I don't know why I'm writing this because the Net isn't that anonymous and I don't know where this will end up, but I do know that I'm going to tell you too much about us so that we're identifiable. I have this need to destroy myself, I guess. So much damage can be done with a kiss. Who knew? Judas did, I guess, and I'm finding that out first hand now.
Did I tell you "Welcome to my blog"? I guess that I'm too confused right now to get this totally right. I want you to send me your thoughts. Right now I'm focussed on understanding this thing between my cousin and me, but I promise you that I'm more interesting than that. I'll talk girl talk with you about sports and music and shopping and men and politics and religion. Right now though, I just need someone who knows about incest to tell me why I feel like this about my cousin. I'm not even a lesbian, but I feel as if I've just met a woman. What the hell is this? I feel like an exhibitionist performing for a multitude of anonymous voyeurs. I need help!
Posted by Cinner @ 6:15 p.m. 28 Comments Labels: incest, questions Links to this post