Kita'thalla Ch. 13

"Lead you to question what?"

She turned to face him, the look on her face almost pleading. "Who am I?"

"Who..." Eric paused, a little confused. "I'm not quite sure I understand. You told me your name...Kita'thalla Oreth...sorry, I don't remember the rest."

She shook her head "I know what my name is. That's not what I asked." seeing his confusion, she gritted her teeth, a look of frustration crossing her face. "Look" she said, her voice trembling. "You know what my name is. You know what it means. You know what I've done to earn that name. Our people are at war. Every bit of logic says that I should be trying to kill you like I tried when we first got here. Every bit of logic says you should use that pistol to shoot me dead. To shoot me like you should have on that first day."

Eric had taken a few uneasy steps backward by this point, barely managing not to stumble as he bumped into the rock ledge and balanced his weight with the crutch. "But I didn't" he said, finally finding his voice. "And I'm happy that I didn't."

"I KNOW!" she practically yelled at him, almost frantically. "And I'm happy that I failed all the times I tried to end you. But why?!" she stopped for a moment, catching her breath. "If everything I said is true, then why am I happy that I failed? Why are you able to treat me the way you do? If I'm the infamous Chas'kaa Kita'thalla, then why am I not trying to drown you instead of asking you for help? Doesn't that make the last 20 ket meaningless to me? If that's who I am...." she stopped, swallowing to get rid of a lump that suddenly formed in her throat. "Doesn't that mean..." she said shakily, a trace of fear entering her voice. "Doesn't that mean you should be afraid of me? That you should hate me?"

Eric shook his head slowly. "I don't hate you. And I'm not afraid of you either"

Kita looked straight at him, her golden eyes barely holding back tears. "But...why?"

"Because." Eric replied. "Who you are is not just a simple matter of what you've done as part of your past. People are complex. There's the person we perceive ourselves to be, in addition to the person that everyone around us sees. More often than not, the truth is a combination of both." He met her gaze. "Kita, I know that you're a soldier. You followed orders, which meant doing terrible things sometimes. There are plenty on my side that I knew who did the same things against your people, so I can't hate you for that. I know that for a long time, the military was all you knew, so its a large part of you certainly. But remember...prior to that, you were someone else, right? You weren't always a soldier"

Kita nodded.

"That part, although it may be a long time ago, is still a part of you. Even your name, the very first part, it was given to you before you became Chas'kaa Kita'thalla. So if things that happened before can be a part of your person, so can things that happen afterward. I'm not afraid, because in the short time I've known you you made the decision to be someone else other than Chas'kaa Kita'thalla. Maybe that someone else is a part of you that always existed, and you just pushed it aside when duty called. At least, that's my perception of you. You can decide just how much of that is part of the real you."

For a few moments, the only audible sound was the running of the river. Kita took a few breaths, visibly calming down a little. "I see" she looked down into the water. Her reflection stared back at her. She nodded. "I think I understand. You still haven't answered my question, though..." she looked back up at him. "perhaps I should ask a slightly different one then."

"Which is?" Eric asked.

"If I'm not Chas'kaa Kita'thalla... then who am I to you?" she asked.

Eric thought for a moment, then shrugged. "To me...you're just Kita, someone who is far more than she appears."

A decision appeared to make itself behind her eyes, and she nodded. Reaching out, she placed a hand on his shoulder. "Thank you." she said, though she was still trembling.

Eric smiled. "You're..."

He was cut off short as Kita's other hand came up around the back of his head and pulled him into a deep kiss.





Yes, I can almost hear the audible scream of anguish from that cliffhanger. Trust me when I say that I wish I could give more, but I didn't want to delay anymore, and that was really the only good place for a break. I don't intend to disappear again, so you should hear soon from me. I meant it when I said that I would finish this.

On another matter. I'm absolutely stunned at the support you've given me...the fanart, and even a fake movie trailer. I'm beginning to take the idea of publishing this very seriously. It would be beyond my wildest dreams to get this published as a novel, a manga, or even a movie. The unfortunate thing with that is that I may then have to take down the story here, and if that would mean losing readers, I'm not sure that's what I want to do. So I want to know what you guys would want me to do.

Thank you again for all your support, and hopefully we'll get things rolling again.