Kneeling Before a New Goddess

For Ms. Delia

Author's Note: There is an element of coercion and forced sex in a backstory, so please don't read if its general description might be triggering. This story is very different than anything else I have written. It was an interesting writing challenge from Ms. Delia. It's the longest of my stories so far, and I hope you find it interesting, too.

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The brightest day you'll see on Kiel you will see from orbit.

That's the lame joke I heard about 10 times while in transit from the shattered ruins of the NeoCatholic colony on Lusk where I had spent my entire life.

Oh, and the joke is true. From orbit, I could see the white clouds that enveloped it so comprehensively that they almost hid the entire surface of Kiel. I do remember seeing a wispy break in the clouds over the ocean, and then again most of the planet is ocean. We still didn't have planet-to-planet rings at that time. The rings from my home system to the Kiel system, like all portals, had to be outside the gravity well of each respective system. So, I and my fellow travelers spent the better part of an hour traveling across untold stretches of light years, and about two weeks from the ring to Kiel. It now seems like a deeply frustrating way to get about the galaxy.

I'll skip a detailed account of our docking with the stellar tower and the interminable processing at the point of entry, New Gotham station. You think a world governed by Conscious Artificial Intelligence (CAI) would have moved more efficiently, but apparently even they adhere to the long tradition of giving immigrants and refugees a hard time. Despite onboard screening during the two-week in-system journey, there was a final check for pathogens and illegal tech implants. I ended up grateful for the latter because I got flagged for a free upgrade. Lusk is fairly Luddite about implants and tech.

I also had to sit through a one-hour orientation, AGAIN. Let me give you the summary in case you're unfamiliar with it.

Kiel, aka Convergence Point Alpha, was the first nexus system, meaning more than one wormhole path can target it through the rings. That means the New Gotham moniker is appropriate. It has had centuries to grow, and because of that, the population-1-billion-humans megalopolis covers the entire and only continent on the planet. Thankfully, teleportation allowed us to do away with the traditional Earth street grid or we would never fit. That dense population is in part because when Eric Kiel's team touched down, they found the planet habitable by humans. The air was breathable with the right mix of oxygen and nitrogen and life hadn't really gotten a foothold so there were no pathogens to speak of. In short, it was the friendliest planet the Human Alliance had found yet. Of course, we proceeded to flock to it like ants to sugar water.

An ant is exactly what I felt like as I studied my lodging assignment along with the other 20 or so refugees who had been on the starship with me who also were looking at theirs. I was being placed in one of the oldest sectors of New Gotham, Old Manhattan, and it was barely populated any more. Much of the square footage had gone from neighborhoods to vertical farms and cult arcologies. A cluster of CAI shared responsibility for sustaining public services in Old Manhattan, which I imagined in my pessimism, would be confusing but actually seemed to work for the most part.

I got in a pod outside the tower, and it sped to the Kiel first-century building I would live in. My apartment was a small one despite the entire floor being otherwise vacant, which was a little creepy after the relatively close living spaces of Lusk, especially my convent. Suddenly, the abruptness of this change in my life hit home again as I looked over the furnished but otherwise spare living quarters.

There was no room for me in the one remaining city on Lusk, which had quadrupled in population to an almost dangerous level. I had been a prospective nun but never made it through my novitiate due to my 'discipline' problems. I tended to 'talk back' when what I really was doing was being candid with a priest or bishop, and then there was the scandal: sex with the Bishop of St. Amant, my home city on Lusk.

Somehow I had seduced and corrupted the virtuous bishop instead of being bullied into a sexual relationship. A 'relationship' I had been coerced into and in which I had one weak orgasm. Febble kisses from a creepy, middle-aged man and caresses from cold hands and nothing more except penetration, a handful of thrusts and then he was spent. The only thing you could say for the bishop is he had a big cock, not that it ever did anything for me. He was very proud of it, so proud he never bothered to learn how to use it. Apparently, I should have felt privileged instead of assaulted.

Even if you don't know about my church, tucked away on an obscure planet in a forgotten corner of the galaxy, you still might have heard of the Last Schism. In the first half of the 21st century, a pope used the power of papal infallibility to allow priests to marry, abortion in the first trimester and same-sex weddings. It split the church and the New Catholic Church was formed. Formally, it still calls itself the Roman Catholic Church, but no one uses that name really, not even clergy, because it's associated with what we called the Apostate Church, the old Church and popes.

I was raised in a strict NeoCatholic household until I was old enough, 8 years, to be pledged to a convent. I think I was dutiful and obedient to God and the Church, but like I said the male clergy sometimes thought otherwise. I had no inner conflicts except for lust. I was attracted to women and men. The bishop was my first and only lover before Kiel though.

I introduced myself to my new home in Old Manhattan, which greeted me warmly, and then I unpacked. I took off all my clothes, told my headvis to let me sleep naturally without a wake up and then crawled into the zero gravity sleep tube. The weightlessness was a comfort, but my thoughts were not comforting. Like every night since the earthquakes that reduced Lusk to one habitable city, I thought of my co-workers in the brewery and all the family I had lost. I felt isolated and alone, faith tested and heart broken. Now, it was increased by what felt like exile. I cried a little, and I let the exhaustion take me at last. I slept for half a day.

I probably should make clear here that I was no longer a member of the Church, or at least not a nun. I had been one of the secular staff in the production unit of the abbey brewery where I was employed. The church no longer had a presence on Kiel, and I had been released from my vows. However, I was not an excommunicant. For all practical purposes, I was no longer a member of the New Catholic Church.

When I awoke, the lights of the tube and room started very slowly brightening and the chamber let me down to the padded bed. Out of habit and vestigial devotion, I said my morning prayers. I was famished, so I showered, dressed in the plain clothes, a gray skirt and white blouse I had been given, and exited to what I should have expected but had forgotten about - rain.

That's why Kiel is variously named The Big Wet Ball and Old Soaky. The planetary wobble is minimal and it doesn't really have seasons, so there's never snow or any variety. It's just rain, mist and fog for about 70 percent of each common year and about 25 percent overcast the rest of the time. Sunny days are treated like holidays. For now, the weather matched my grief. I pulled a square from my pocket, put it on my head and said, "Rain form." The square proceeded to take the basic form a poncho and hood.

I think it may have been night. I didn't really care, and it didn't really matter. I knew no one and had no plans beyond finding food. Dim lines of bluish light outlining the edges of gutters and sidewalks brightened to a length some 50 meters in front of me. They advanced at my pace. I guess it was a way to save energy, but I don't know why. That was in ample supply. Maybe the CAI here were stingy, I remember thinking. I later learned the horizontal lines of the lighting aided navigation through the rain and fog

Looking around I felt like I was at the bottom of one of the canyons on Lusk. The lights of pods flying above me and lights from windows took the place of stars, the price of living on the most densely packed Human Alliance planet. I could have called a pod taxi and asked it to take me to a restaurant, but I preferred to wander on foot.

The rain had abated some by the time I found a noodle stand. I could smell the food in the steam from the pots. This was an old-fashioned place. They used synthetic meats, but the vegetable and noodles were natural. I found a dry stool, ordered and read the headvis news in my field of vision as I waited. An older woman was at the other end of the line of stools finishing off a frozen dessert.

She turned to me and said, "Welcome to Kiel."

I was startled, and the crone pointed to her headvis. "My CAI says you're a new arrival. I don't want to invade your privacy though."

"Oh, that's OK. I don't know anyone here. You just surprised me."

We chatted while I ate, and she gave me her opinions and advice about the neighborhood and Kiel. I thanked her for her warmness as she made her way to return home.

With good sleep and food in my belly, I felt fatigue and depression overtake me again. I returned to my living quarters, and set about reviewing information on Kiel and its history and culture. I'd absorbed a lot on the journey, but I could think of nothing else to do besides say my evening prayers. I was on the verge of being named a master brewer but my application was denied. No woman could be trusted apparently, and I was forced to assist a barely competent monk. I quietly cried myself back to sleep at the recollection. What would my occupation even be here? With necessities guaranteed, many people seemed to be pursuing all kinds of personal projects from artistic ones to sports and virtual games in addition to activities I never before imagined.

For the next several weeks, I fell into a routine of wandering the continental city. I developed a plan of getting familiar with my neighborhood so I only walked, often in a poncho or with an umbrella or both. Then, I used local transport, then regional and then the teleport network. I must have seen every landmark and historic site. Sometimes I hired a drone guide so I could turn off the headvis.

I almost forgot. I did finally succumb and get the free upgrade to my implants, although with a certain amount of guilt. Lusk had no CAI and banned all technology created after the Singularity, so the act felt like a sin. Practically though, it was like a whole new world with access to even more information and the ability to fully experience simstim for the first time. You could not really 'feel' another person's experiences or even take part in virtual ones except for Church-approved events and gatherings online. I worried about becoming a 'wirehead' of which there were plenty on Kiel, folks who let their virtual lives take over their real ones.

I later discovered my concerns were unjustified. Four to six hours is considered healthy use on Kiel. This allowed me to smell things and 'visit' other planets. That's not what really changed things for me though. I was wandering around a local area roughly 500 klicks from Old Manhattan. The area, Avedon, was stuffed with grand buildings, plazas and public art. What stopped me in my tracks was the holographic rendering of an Orion Dragon Flower. It was mesmerizing, even though that alien plant and its planet of origin were unknowns to me.

"Do you like it?" a male voice behind me said.

I turned and saw a man about six inches taller than my five-six. He was older, with flecks of gray in his hair and a slender but not skinny build.

"Uh ... yes, it's hypnotic," I said.

"I made it," he said with some pride. "I merged it with images of the female human vulva and the flower. The vulva is the sub-image. I added some harmonic sub-sonics. Combined, they are meant to stop you. I'm so glad you reacted like you did, ma'am. Pleased to please you," he concluded with a slight bow/nod of his head.

I may even have blushed a little at his deference. After a pause, he added, "Of course, it's spiritual art."

"Oh?"

"You didn't know you are in front of the Grand Temple of Ulthara, ma'am?" he asked.

"No sorry, I'm from Lusk. I'm still in my tourist phase," I apologized and after a pause asked him his name.

"My turn to apologize, ma'am. I should have said, 'I'm Faber Jenkins, ma'am.'"

"I'm Trice Abrams," I answered. We shook hands.

I asked and Faber explained the Grand Temple and, briefly, the tenets of his faith. It was hugely illuminating. I'll summarize what turned out to be that immensely momentous moment in my life.

Faber explained that sex is at the center of the Ultharan faith system, a gynocentric philosophy with Ulthara as the central deity and Olkoth, an important male sub-deity who serves Ulthara. Female priests lead it and men and women are among its congregants and acolytes.

This made my head spin. I had never heard of such a thing, and Faber informed me that about 200 million people on Kiel who were members, called "templars," and another 100 million who were loose adherents to its principles. He did mention some differences within the templars and some sub-sects, too.

As the inevitable light rain of early evening started, I described the culture and society of Lusk. At one point, he shook his head and muttered, "Toxic patriarchy, ma'am. So sorry."

I paused, and he looked about to apologize when I stopped him and told him he was right. Faber asked me if I would like to see the inside of the Temple before the start of the evening worship service he had come to attend. We had about 45 minutes until then, he said, and "It'll get you out of the rain."

I welcomed the invitation. Seeing Kiel by myself had been enlightening to say the least, but I was ready for an adventure, even if I didn't recognize it at the time. On entry to the cavernous lobby of the Grand Temple, we were scanned and an inner doorway opened to allow us full access. Right away, I noticed the symbolic vulvar reliefs and art, especially at doorways. Some of it was very subtle and some wasn't. A smattering for phallic imagery unsuccessfully competed with it but was noticeable.

"Look up, ma'am."

I did and saw an almost infinite ceiling rising from the lobby, enclosed by a spiral Faber said was meant to represent a DNA helix.

"I ... I don't understand."

"It's almost like a second world in here. It gets bigger all the time. Our CAI Ulthara invented 'pocket worlds' a few decades ago and each year, she perfects it more and more, making the space larger and more stable and more energy efficient. That's how the temple is bigger on the inside."

Pocket worlds were uncommon still, even on Kiel, but Faber explained it was becoming increasingly popular as New Gotham added more and more people. How could I have never heard of this on Lusk? I asked myself. Truly, the Church had hidden all sorts of news from us.

We wandered up the spiral. I have since forgotten much of what Faber said but I do remember the gist. He explained how many religions have repressed sexuality and tried much too hard to control it. Ulthara is pure creative, life force and sex is the physical manifestation of that energy. Other belief systems focus on death and martyrdom, Faber said. Their faith teaches that a celebration of life and bonding through sex and sometimes reproduction is the foundation of Ulthara. He said he believed Ulthara flows through the CAI of the faith on Kiel. Faber also believed, like some of the most devout, that Ulthara was the first god of human culture, predating the Abrahamic religions and every other later faith. Other believers, he explained, simply see the faith as a philosophy without a deity, a philosophy of life and a mentality for the focus of belief. To them, Ulthara is a symbol to contemplate, even celebrate, but she isn't a deity.

He asked my opinion, and I shook my head and demurred. As a bell chimed from somewhere, Faber said we had to part or I could make my way up to the gallery for guests and prospective adult members.

I hesitated, and he said, "Don't worry. You can leave the gallery at any time without offending anyone. I can meet you after at this spot in the lobby."

Curiosity triumphed over apprehension, and I took an old-fashioned elevator up without Faber. The balcony gave me a view of the ornate and vast sanctuary, which extended far beyond the altar that drew my eyes. Probably the nearest thing I can compare the space to is a Baroque or Rococo opera house in Europe, but I knew nothing of these at the time. The balcony was not full, but it was a regular daily service and not a weekly holy day. However, I noticed a majority of unattached young men and a smattering of young women, a little younger than my 30 years.

The sanctuary darkened and a larger-than-life-size, bright holograph of a naked woman in a kind of sling throne appeared on the stage, a kneeling man facing into her vulva. In front of them and in person stood, the Avatar of Ulthara accompanied by male acolytes.

She was a gorgeous woman of about 40 years in age dressed in a long, dark red flowing robe. The avatar raised her arms and led the audience through a benediction. As she neared the end of that part of the liturgy, the holograph rotated to offer a better view of the male figure.

"Now, we will say the Obeisance," she declared. A live, completely nude male knelt in front of the Avatar and looked up at her as she took his face in her hands. It was then I noticed almost everyone in the audience and in the balcony were arranged boy-girl. In the balcony about half the men kneeled before a woman in imitation of the scene on stage. The rest simply knelt and looked at the Avatar.

"Like Olkoth, the Husband-Servant of Ulthara, I kneel before this woman and womanhood. I submit to the guidance of Ulthara and worship the Creation energy in her womb. I serve to protect and please Womankind. In doing so, I also serve the Goddess."

It was clear to me that except for the practicalities of the ceremony and maybe propriety, these men would be performing cunnilingus.

Then, I heard the women speak: "Like Ulthara, I accept your pledge of devotion and with her wisdom I will teach and command you."

I can't recall most of the rest of the service. The Avatar delivered a 10-minute homily about a still topic debated in the Church, an interpretation of a passage in the Book of Ulthara that I hadn't read. There was a song in a language I didn't understand and my implant wouldn't or couldn't translate, a reading from the book and then a formal ending. It wasn't a Mass per se but it had structure and ritual.

I had to admit the whole thing left me with a slightly aroused state and I could feel the wetness between my legs. I was a little confused as to why. Most of the congregants had left by the time Faber spotted me in lobby. He waved at me and came closer.

"What did you think?" he asked.

I told him it was very different in content but not in form. I tentatively asked him if the Obeisance was mimicking oral sex or not.

"Absolutely," he smiled.

I must have blushed a little.

"Would you like me to show you how it's really done in a private setting?" he asked hopefully.

That surprised and flustered me.

After a few seconds hesitation, Faber apologized and offered to walk me to the nearest teleport.

"Yes," I blurted out. "Show me."

"Thank you, Trice, please follow me," he said. (Later, Faber confessed he had hoped to encounter a woman who need his services and that's why he had arrived at the Temple so early. Serving was something he needed to do regularly.) He led me to a small, nearby room on a level or two above. It was much like the throne in the holograph. Shyly, I removed all my clothes just as Faber did the same, and then sat in the chair. When I did, it surprised me by rising a couple of feet and floating to a now seated Faber who sported a hard cock.