Knees

the collar is simple.

black, about an inch thick. not comfortable, or uncomfortable. not tight. not loose. you put it on me, buckle it slowly, warm fingertips against my skin. cold metal. stiff leather. I am standing. you have not said anything, it just appeared in your hands and i freeze. i am cold as you gently and carefully lift my hair to adjust it and arrange my hair on my shoulders after. i am shaking. i expect the leash, the sharp tug, the pain, my whole body is ready for it. i wait, afraid. but it doesn't come. you sit looking at me. the collar lays against my throat. simple, like a fact.

something must happen, my body is buzzing, illuminated. so i strip. directly, piece by piece, for your calm eyes. i drop my shirt, my black bra, my jeans on the floor. i stand again, naked and barefoot. you watch silently, and then look at my body and the collar. you like it, but you don't show it. i know to turn around before you even make a gesture. i lift my hair so you can see my back, the silver of the buckle and the loop. i stand still.

i hear you stand up and go to my knees right away. i kneel on my clothes and wait. i want to cross my arms, protect my body, but i don't. i open my palms at my sides and start breathing fast. i wait for the touch. i am burning.

but you walk silently past me to the bathroom and turn on the water in the tub. i hear the sound and wait. i can't bear to be away from you, but i fear to stand. so i crawl. i crawl into the bathroom, wood floor on my knees, then cool tile. you lean against the door and watch. i move slowly, my breath harsh. the collar seems like the only thing i've ever worn. but you don't come to me, don't touch.

"we're going out. help me now."

at last i have a task, so i can relax a little, although my skin shivers like it has frost on it. i go to you on my knees and raise my hands, palms up. you place then against your thighs casually, firmly. i peel your clothes off and then am very efficient. i fold them. i keep my eyes down, stay on my knees.

i help you into the bath and watch the water pour over your body. every inch. i get to eat you with my eyes. now yours are closed. i use soap, soft cloth, slowly rub it over you, like i am painting your body a different color. i love it. to get to touch you so slowly. slow, soap, rhythm, your eyes closed. i pour the perfect water over your skin. your eyes stay closed. i want to say that you are beautiful, but i cannot speak. at last i breathe one soft, "thank you" as i work. you do not respond.

i stand to dry your body--i put the towel on the radiator so it would be warm--and help you dress. this is interesting because i pick the clothes. i fear that you won't like my choices, but you are quiet, relaxed, you let me move slowly and steal little touches as i dress you. i know not to ask for too much. as soon as you are dressed, you move fast and suddenly for the first time. you walk from me, and throw a black dress on the bed, small, stretchy, i'd usually wear it with pants. you throw my black boots on top.

"just that. nothing else. and get out here."

we go out to a bar. when we get there, you lead me to the bar, one hand on the small of my back. i lean against it and you adjust my hair so it falls behind my back, not in front of my breasts. it is loud. i am self-conscious in the short, tight dress, but it is busy, and only the men near me let their eyes flicker over my heavy breasts--not big, but prominent--straining against the black cotton.

you get me a drink. a manhattan, one cherry. strong for me. i lean next to you, we look at the room. the collar could not even be noticed here--it could look like jewelry. i drink. it is strong. i start to relax. you are quiet some, you talk to the bartender, to a girl and her boyfriend next to us. you feel gentle and strong next to me.

i smell you every now and then when you lean over. my nipples are hard. i like the drink, i like people looking. i am getting comfortable. i pick up my glass and drain it. the second i set it down on the bar your hand quickly reaches for the collar and i hear a snap. my stomach lurches as you adjust the length of the leash around your wrist. in public? i am covered with a cold sweat. everything is blurry. you step away from the bar and give the leash a short sharp tug. the people near us see and look away, or look closer. i stumble. you don't wait. i catch up, walking quickly at your side to the back of the bar. more people stare--my face burns. the leash is slack as i walk by your side. we get to the hallway by the washrooms, loud, dirty, a long hall--i wonder where we are going. i say, "where . . ."

and you shove me against the wall. i gasp. you press my shulders back and say, "don't move." i don't. you pull down on the neck of the dress, so that more of my breasts are exposed. i am shuddering. i say, "please touch me . . ." you smile. for the first time all night. you say, "i think you're ready, my beauty."

and then, "down."

i am confused, i hesitate, it is loud, dirty, seems crowded, i am afraid.

"down. NOW."

i kneel clumsily and wait. you stand in front of me. you pull up on the collar and i raise my chin. you say, 'lick your lips." i do it. you pull down again on the dress. then you evaluate me. you reach down slowly and pinch both nipples through the dress, feeling them harden like stones. i whimper and pull back. you roll them between your fingers roughly. i am wet. you look steadily at my eyes and torment my nipples. when you decide i'm ready, you lean against the wall next to me. relaxed. my knees on the dirty floor, the dress riding up, nothing under it. breasts aching and pushing against the fabric.

i wait, tense, keeping my breasts pushed out like you like them.

you wait.

a washroom door opens.

he comes out of the washroom loudly, hand against the wall. young guy, drunk, blonde, athletic. he pauses a second as he sees me on my knees. you say, "hey." he greets you casually, a little uncertain. almost walks by. you make a joke, he laughs, i can't really hear. male voices above me, both laughing a little. you say, "show your tits, honey. show this guy what you've got." i am still, my heart beating fast. he's nervous too, but waits--you might be joking, but there I am, on my knees. i feel the loop of the leash gently between my shoulder blades. it makes me startle and push my breasts forward. you say, "go on. you want to see 'em, right?" the guy says, "uh, yeah . . . "

i pull the neck of the dress down, reach in with my hands and lift my breasts out and over the top. they are white, glowing, large peach-colored nipples, hard. goosebumps. i want to shrink away, but again the leash on my back to i thrust them forward. everyone is silent and my nipples get harder as they are stared at. i bow my head. hear your soft voice, "she'll blow you, man, if you want. she's into it." he is still staring and moves uncertainly a little closer. "show him," you say, the loop of the leash gently under my chin. i raise my eyes and look. his face is red, he looks baffled and hungry, he nervously looks down the hall, we hear the sounds of the bar. he takes an uncertain step towards me and i reach for his belt, gagging and sick.

my knees hurt as i see the single eye of his hard cock right away. it is warm and unfamiliar, he tries to keep his pants up but pushes it pretty eagerly at my mouth. he's psyched, you can tell, but nervous too. i almost vomit as i taste it, but i feel your eyes on my mouth. i open it, take the tip, swirl my tongue around the head, he says, "fuck. oh fuck." that helps. i know how to do this. i grasp him firmly and pretend it's you. i go to work. long strokes down the shaft, hot and wet, i bury my face in the cloth, his hair, his balls. he groans and grabs the wall. you are silent but i feel your eyes.

"oh, shit, shit." he comes hard in my mouth, i force myself to swallow, and pull away. he staggers back and does up his pants. he exhales like he's going to faint. looks down at me and doesn't know what to say so he thanks you, and laughs a little nervously. you say, "hey, no problem." lazily. like it was an easy favor.

he staggers quickly back to the bar. i am silent, breasts still out, still almost retching, the bleach, sweet sour strange taste in my mouth. i feel the leash under my chin and raise my face--you stare at my mouth. passive but keen. i know you are hard, i want to reach for you but hear sounds behind me.

the guy is back, with a friend. heavy set, darker. "see, there, she's got her tits out and everything. she blew me, go ahead!" he's laughing, a little hysterical. his friend is drunker, less nervous. he looks at you. you say, "sure, you want her? go ahead honey. open up." I helplessly open my mouth.

the dark guy is giggling and gets out his cock fast. it is bigger. he jams it in my mouth. he groans right away and reaches for my hair. i suck hard to defend my throat. i use my teeth right away, gentle. "oh fucking hell." he reaches for my heard and holds the back of my head, fucking my mouth hard, once he got permission, he's really giving it to me. his friend says, "careful, jesus!" and laughs, but you say, "nah, she can take it." so he pounds harder, my head hits the wall, he comes down my throat, i choke and cough.

just then the bathroom door opens and a girl comes out--a new guy also comes down the hall--they both freeze right away as the dark guy pulls out, wipes his dick on my tits and staggers against the wall, laughing. his friend congratulates him. they are braver together. now they both watch as they are cracking up. "you want in? " they say to the new guy. they don't know him. he says, "what the hell?" but moves closer. now i don't even bother to try to get the cum off my lips. i reach for him and he pulls away but i gently rub the front of his jeans and he doesn't go that far. the girl says, "don't you dare!" and laughs. drunk, too.

he almost pulls away, and grabs her arm to steady himself, but then i hear you say, "hey, its cool. you want her to do you first?" to the girl. everyone laughs like you can't be serious, but the leash goes under my chin and you speak to me seriously, and so they all quiet down. the two guys against the wall, the new guy next to me and the girl. you say, "lick your lips for her, honey. show her that pretty tongue and what it can do."

i close my eyes but not before i see make up, long light hair, slutty purple shirt, short skirt. she's maybe 23. her guy says, "yeah, do it, and pushes her in front of him, holds her hips and presses into her from behind.

she laughs but is laughing at her guy pushing her towards me--she is ignoring me, pretty much. he slowly lifts her skirt. tan thighs, lavender panties, sexy, cheap, lacy. they guys make noise. she says, "no!" and giggles. you rest your hand on my head--again, moving slower than anyone else. i resist, but can't. i reach to her and lick gently with the end of a pointed tongue. it touches the fabric--i smell her musk, i am drawn, but scared. as soon as i make contact with her panties, the room is still. charged, hot, changed.

she is still--wanting a it a little, pulling back a little. the guys are hushed, watching. i realize i am on my knees with no options and she is standing, doing whatever she wants. she has freedom, i am nothing. i reach for her with my hands, run them up the back of her thighs. okay, bitch, i am going to make this a fucking work of art. i lick her thighs slowly and carefully, all the way up. i smell pussy, it is almost too intimate to be so close. i have never done this before.

your hand on my hair. you know it is new to me, you are there with me. giving some kind of detailed instruction, but not letting me out of it.

my fingers trace the edge of her panties and i kiss her lightly and sweetly, right on her trimmed cunt. she tenses. i slowly pull the panties down to her knees . . . .

she moans right away. not used to being approached so slowly. she's ready and hot. it is dead silent in the hall, music and bar loud at the other end. i hesitate now that i taste her for the first time, feel her hair on my tongue. but i think of you watching--all of them watching, wanting her--somehow i want more of that, even from my knees, i want to make this pussy perfect for you. i imagine i am getting her ready for you. and then i can go on.

i open her gently, just with my tongue at first. i flick her wet slit, teasing. i hold her ass and control her movement, now licking up the trimmed slit, lightly but steadily. i get slowly slowly firmer. she writhes and her boyfriend holds her arms. glad you like it, man, because i am going to ruin her for you, i think. you will never be able to give her this, asshole. i pretend she's me. i lick up the left side to her clit and then down, roughly up and down, my face wet with her pussy. then i bring my fingers up at last, holding her open lightly and gently like a flower, and then letting my tongue dive in and play. i tease her clit until she whispers, "please." that sounds so much like me that i give her a break, i find her little clit buried in the wet folds and draw it right into my mouth. i suck it hard. i know i seem hungry, i eat her like i'm starving. i open her up more and more and lick and suck and lick and suck, driving it faster, then slow, then intensely on her clit until she tenses, and then in slow lazy circles around it. then lapping with the flat of my tongue, back to the clit, teasing and sucking and flickering over it.

you with me, your hand on my head, watching and feeling every movement.

her head falls on her boyfriends shoulder. i make her wait by drawing back to slow licks in all the secret places. she whimpers, i lick back up that wet pussy all the way to the clit and then slow circles, never speeding up, taking her shaking all the way to the edge and then sucking her clit hard as she almost screams and clutches my hair.

right after she comes i kiss her cunt slowly like it is my lover's mouth. her boyfriend laughs and pulls her away. she can hardly stand. i wipe my mouth on the inside of my wrist and almost smile.

but there are more. i thought maybe i was done, but you keep me there. another cock in my mouth now, i don't even know who. it is fast and hard, with the crowd cheering. when did it become a crowd? the come spills onto my breasts as i gag. they laugh. another cock now--the bartender? i am confused. my lips feel like they are bleeding.

another girl now--she's performing for the men--she grinds her pussy into my face. i try to pull away but you pull my hair hard. i try to please her, please you, i am exhausted, i lick and lick and lick desperately.

right then i hear someone ask you, "can we fuck her?"

you say "no." calmly, but immediately. and you pull me to my feet.

this changes everything. it is like they can't wait to get out of there. they leave.

you push me through the ladies room door. i stagger against the counter.

you follow.

i am shaking, falling, waiting. the bathroom is empty. it is smoky, loud, posters on the walls.

i lean on the sink. shaking so hard, i am afraid i'll vomit if i try to stand. you are close behind me, not touching me. the light is over the sink so it is bright where my face is, but you are a little in shadow. my dress is so short, i am aware it is pulled up in back as i bend over, you can almost see my ass, my dark wet hair, my white thighs. i don't know where you are looking. i barely know where i am.

"look in the mirror."

this is terrifying. it is the last thing i want to do. i think i actually cringe. i feel my bare nipples against the linoleum, sticky, filthy. filthy.

you say, "i said look in the mirror--now. look right at your mouth. and tell me what you see."

you reach out fast and pinch my thigh, hard enough to bruise.

"fucking look, bitch. you know what that mouth did tonight."

your fingers don't linger. my head snaps up and i see the cum in my hair before i focus on my mouth.

red, burning red. smeared, ugly. chapped and used. red. dried cum on my face. i involuntarily open my mouth a little, like i am begging for water.

i look at it a long time. someone will come in soon, i don't know what you want, you are just silent, i am lost, panicking.

at last i watch my lips say, "please . . . " almost inaudible.

as soon as i say it your hands are on me. you run them up my back, under my dress right away, shoving it up to my waist. they are warm, and move over my skin fast, smoothly, firmly. i break down right away, i start weeping, sobbing. i watch my face crack and redden, the tears pour down my cheeks. they are hot, flooding my face. i can feel suddenly how much you love them, how much you love each tear. how much you want me, how hard it is for you to stay away.

"please what, honey. please what . . . . "

i think i might pass out. i still watch my lips. i say, "fuck me. please. please, give me your cock, please. please, i am begging you. please." i see the collar in the mirror.

your hands on my ass, my thighs, demanding and strong. you spread me open easily, my thighs open, you pull my hips to you and open your pants, fast. i am afraid someone will come in but it doesn't matter, can't matter. i cry out, desperate.

i feel the tip, the sudden thickness, hot, fuck, i feel stretched and broken, the shaft, hot and hard with a smooth thrust like a sword. and again, and again, i am perfectly wet and we are perfectly fit, fucking hell. i vanish into the sensation, your cock is everything, damn, everything. again and again. i lean down and hum around you, i want it deeper, deeper, more more. i moan, "more, more, more." you give it to me harder than seems possible.

i feel your skill. i feel you giving me everything you have, i feel you chasing my pleasure, wanting it, loving filling me completely. "god," i cry, everything wet, my face wet. my knuckles white. it is like i can taste your cock in my mouth, it is that deep.

i feel like i am going to come, suddenly, shockingly--you reach to my clit to help me, you use every delicate touch to help me get there fast and hard. just as i start to burn, to let go, to come on your cock, to give you everything, you say, "look at your eyes . . ." and i look at my eyes in the dirty mirror and they are green gold, deep and open.

and everything is in them. they contain the whole world.