"We should do this again," he said, smiling.
"Like there is any other fucking choice. You better be here tomorrow after she goes to work," she demanded. He smiled: he loved when she talked obscenely.
"Did you hear me talking dirty?" he asked her.
"Yeah," she said as she licked the last drop on her sheets.
"For a virgin, you were very good."
"For a virgin?"
"Fine. You were better than most people I date. They only talk about my tits when I ask them to talk dirty."
He laughed. Then the door opened. And shit turned around.
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periconene, Tatsumaki and 47 other people favorited this story!
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English
Good but...
The story idea was fine as was the story itself but you should proof read it a few more times and pay attention to the things others have pointed out. It would be a better idea to have someone else do it for you as they will catch things you wont. Ignore the ultra negative comments and try again.more...
poor
Very poor.
Grammar, writing style, genders, just pitiful.
XeronVortix...
I agree with most of the other comments...especially the correct usage of words. Also, the story CLEARLY stated that Kyle DID lock the door!! Thus, nobody could have walked in on Kyle and Auntie. Just one of the many errors of the story that could have been corrected BEFORE submitting it, making it much more believable and erotic. Take your time, next time.more...
Too hard to concentrate
The grammar is bad. The genders constantly back and forth. It's like nobody ever proofread the piece before submitting it. Very juvenile. Needs a lot of work.
The fucking door was locked
And no more of this shit pleeeeaasssse
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