Lacks Charm But Wins the Girl

"Is that true darling?"

Almost shyly Hunter looked at Lee and said, "It's the truth. I had the feeling David was on to me."

"But you had this stupid belief it was my decision to make and you would not interfere."

"It wasn't stupid; it was how I thought it had to be."

"Of course darling, it wasn't stupid at all."

Julia asked, "At what point did you know you'd choose Hunter over Art?"

"The moment I met Hunter again, in America. But I dug my toes in and decided he must make his claim."

"But he didn't."

"No. But I began slow capitulation when watching the TV news report with mom and dad and Aunt Janis and Uncle Ted when Hunter and the two female rangers were hoisted off the island. I was excited that he had been accomplishing things out in the wilds and felt jealous because the two women he'd rescued obviously adored him and some of the female journalists were acting unprofessionally with him. Then he made up those things about what I thought of him, his sweetheart who'd dumped him for a more conventional ho-hum man."

"Then Aunt Janis said, "He's lying just as he did saying the national park had named a bear Randy."

"Mom told her to shut up and listen."

"After the clip finished I asked Aunt Janis why had she alleged Hunter was lying."

"She said, 'I know men honey' and ignored Uncle Ted's nasty remark. She claimed she had to just look at a man to see he's lying."

Lee continued. 'I awoke in the morning convinced Aunt Janis was correct: Hunter didn't believe I had rejected him. I ground on with Art and his parents and mom pressuring me to set a wedding date. Then right out of the blue dad said to me, "Have you booked your ticket yet? Confused I asked where to and he told me where and walked off, leaving me flabbergasted. He didn't say to New Zealand, he said to his future son-in-law. Art was in the house greasing up to mom so I knew dad wasn't talking about Art. My capitulation was complete and here I am."

Hunter said great story Lee and kissed her and the women around them wept while David thrust his hands into his pockets and said crap, he hated it when women turn gooey-eyed.

* * *

In the bush next day they walked a track, Lee being asked to set a pace that was comfortable for her. Lee had been swimming and bike riding all summer so was in great shape.

"You're in great shape and had me near legless last night."

Lee cooed, "Did you like it darling, I had so much to give."

"You were wonderful and that was why I told you unofficially I'd return to America with you to marry."

"Yes, and thank you. I had so many stars in front of my eyes I scarcely knew where I was and who I was. Mom and dad wish to pay for your immediate family to attend including your brother-in-law."

"That's mighty civil of them and I'm proud of them for offering."

"Offering?"

"Mom and dad don't accept charity."

"But it isn't charity. Oh gawd, you pig-headed Kiwis. Mom will be distraught."

"Use salesmanship. Suggest to mom they accept providing your parents will accept mom and dad paying their fares and for you sister and her boyfriend to come out here within eighteen months."

"My sister doesn't have a boyfriend yet."

"She will -- she looks great in that photo I saw he and if she fucks as well as you do she'll have one of the tom cats stepping forward to claim her."

"Tom cats...oh. Oh you disgusting man. You didn't mention you and me returning here. Where will we live?"

"Where would you like to live?"

"Oh no, we are lining up for confrontation No.2, aren't we. I have a career..."

"And I don't?"

Lee flared but caught herself in time. "Give me a few hours to think about it.

"Fine."

"I'll try to be creative like you were before leaving America when you gave those two nation-wide hunting magazines interviews with different slants about high adventure safaris in the alps out of Pungarehu Sound. You secured free publicity worth tens of thousands of dollars for David and Julia."

"And me, I'm a 12.5% partner with agreement to go up to 50% if I can get my hands on more money."

"I have money."

Hunter ignored that for the moment as they began walking up the high incline, the effort taking most of their breath. Just below the top of the highest point of the ridge they settled into their campsite.

"Before I accept money from you I wish to know if we marry will you be prepared to give up your career and live here?"

"My answer is yes, without question."

"Good, you can become a guide. Many women request a female guide."

"I'd really love to do that but what about our children?"

"Julia was a guide and remained a guide throughout her early child-rearing years."

"Oh God, your New Zealand women are tough...but then so are many American women. My answer is yes."

"Right, let my cook dinner before the sun goes down. Beef stew, eaten from the tin with a spoon, the hot can held in your gloved hand and followed by tinned pears."

"Good, I can cope with that. I know I can always play ladies back at base."

* * *

"Lee, wake up. Lee, wake up."

Lee struggled to wake up, wondering if it had all been a dream, but she had the feeling of having been thoroughly fucked so perhaps it wasn't.

The shape of a man's head was between her and the first golden flare of the dawn far out on the horizon of the Tasman Sea. It could only be Hunter.

"Lee Lincoln, will you marry me, Hunter Macdonald, and be my loving wife, remain beautiful for me for the remainder of our married life, keep me comfortable and safe, fuck with me often, rarely make me wear a tie, promise you'll go to America with me every second year and bear us three wonderful children?"

"Yes Hunter Macdonald, I'll marry you and meet as many of those requirements as I can. Kiss me and come into my sleeping bag. This is the happiest day of my life. Ohmigod, just look at that sunrise; I can see why you wanted to propose up here. I thought it would be good but this is heavenly. I'm glad this is going to be my new country."

THE END