Ladies Golf Weekend

I heard the familiar sound of the car crunching the gravel on the drive, the back door swung open and my wife bowled in through it.

"How was the weekend?" I enquired as she flung her bag on the floor and threw her arms around my neck.

"Great! My team won. It was a lovely hotel and we had such a laugh, but pour me a glass of wine and I'll tell you all about it." I did as I was bid and we slumped onto the settee glasses in hand.

"I suppose you were up half the night playing bastard brag, having a girly time and generally drinking too much."

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you!"

"Try me."

"Pour me another glass, that one didn't touch the sides, and hang on to your hat!"

"That sounds intriguing, what have you all been up to?"

"Well, after Friday's game we all got changed and met in the bar. After a couple of drinks Janine passed some remark about a chap sitting at the bar. You know how outrageous she can be and makes no bones about being a bit short on sex since Hugh ran off with that tart. Anyway she kept eyeing him up and, to be fair, he was quite cute in a slightly middle aged sort of way, you know, greying temples, short stubble beard and great teeth. Anyway Janine...."

"Which one is Janine?"

"You can't tell me you haven't noticed Janine. She's about mid fifties, so a bit younger than the rest of us, long legs, blond hair, small tits and a pretty good figure."

"OK, so what about her?"

"She said simply. 'I wonder if he's any good?'

"And Viki said. 'I suppose he must be a golfer or he wouldn't be here but no clues about his ability.'

"You know Vicki, the one whose husband is in the police." So I mumbled my agreement. This story was getting complicated but she continued.

"So Janine retorted, 'It's not his golf I'm interested in, it's the size of his putter!' Well, that was a bit blunt even for Janine. Some giggled while others just sat there gawping when she followed with.

" 'Come on girls. You must admit it had crossed your minds? I wonder if he's all pose and no action?' And after a lot of banter and innuendo she eventually came out with, ' Hey there is only one way to find out.' And she got up and went over to him. They chatted and seemed to be getting on famously then they left: together!"

"Bloody hell! That was a bit blatant. Still, single now so why ever not?" I threw in trying to keep the story going,

"She bowled into breakfast next morning like the cat that got the cream, huge smile on her face, a decided spring in her step and greeted us with, 'Well girls, you missed a treat there I can tell you. '

"So I came straight out with it.

" 'You mean you pulled?' I burbled. That much was glaringly obvious, they'd left the bar together. 'So how, I mean what did.... How did ....'

" 'Well' added Janine, 'I went over, pretended to wait for the barman and just asked if he'd had a good game. He said he had and asked me about mine. I said I'd had a crap score but was hoping to improve soon, giving him one of those knowing sideways looks.'

"Someone said, 'You didn't? You hussy!'

" 'Oh yes I so did. If you don't ask you don't get, and it worked. We chatted and flirted and had another couple of drinks then we left.'

" 'We know that, but what happened next?'

" 'Well while you were all imagining what we were up to with your magic rabbits, we went to his room. Blokes always feel better in their own room. No chance of being accused of being too pushy and they feel in control, which we know they aren't.

" 'Once inside he started kissing me and fondling my boobs, pressing me up against the door, all pash and rush. So I says, slow down tiger, take your time. I'm not looking for a quick snack more a leisurely meal for two. Sooo if it's going to be a leisurely meal for two I need to know how many times you like to come?'

" So I said, 'Bloody hell Janine, you asked that?'

" She retorted. 'Of course. If he's a one trick pony a girl's gotta be careful. You don't want to wind up with a mouth full of cum and an throbbing pussy.'

" Another cry of 'Janine!' from someone, ye gods she can be blunt.

"So Janine continued, 'Grow up girls, how often does that happen? Anyway he promised me two with an option on three if I could get him stiff again. Well let's just say he didn't let me down.'

" Pru, I think it was said, 'But aren't you worried about wierdos?'

" 'Come on Pru, how many wierdos hang around a golf hotel bar waiting to be weird with a lady golfer of advancing years? Not many I'm guessing. How many solo golfers would like to practice a bit of duvet putting? Shit loads!'"

My wife continued the story of the weekend.

"So we had our round of golf and met up in the bar for pre dinner drinks. The meal was pretty average really but the wine was good so we went back to the bar and actually got a bit tanked. It wasn't long before Janine came under Viki's less than subtle interrogation technique and eventually she gave in.

" 'OK girls, you want the gory details. Here comes the gory details. As I said last night, he started off all pash and rush until I asked him how many times he could come. At that point he must have realised that we were really, actually going to shag and that he didn't have to keep up the pressure, except in his cock of course.

" ' I was feeling pretty horny, I have to admit, so I suggested we take it in turns to remove a piece of clothing.'

"Someone else queried, 'With the lights on? What about the less flattering bits?'

" 'Believe me, once a guy has an erection like the one trying to pin me to the wall when we came in, he ain't gonna worry about a few lumpy bits. He's got an erection, been promised at least one shag, I don't think he's going to turn me down now even if my tits are a bit small.

" 'Besides I wanted to see what he looked like. So he pulled off his sweater; not an elegant start! I did that magic manoeuvre we do on the beach and pulled my bra out through the sleeve of my dress. You should have seen his face! He now knows I'm topless under the dress and he can see my nipples pressing on the sheer fabric and, believe me, they were pressing.

" 'So, says I, all footwear off now. I just hate that fumbling with shoes and socks when I'm ready for action. Then told him it was his turn.

" 'He pulled off his shirt. His chest was OK, not too hairy, slight man boobs, but overall about a seven out of ten. I must have been feeling pretty brazen because I slid my hands up under the sides of my dress and, without giving him a glimpse of anything too blatant, pulled my panties down and stepped out of them.

" 'He now knows that the dress is the only thing that stands between him and a shag so he got out of his trousers quickly and inelegantly, almost falling over in the process. Actually the dress was not the only thing standing, the front of his boxers looked like a tent!

" 'I really felt I had him in my power so I slipped the straps of my dress over my shoulders and let it fall to the floor, stood there for a few seconds totally naked then went over and knelt in front of him. I took one leg of his boxers in each hand and started to pull them down ever so slowly. His cock got caught up in the elastic and suddenly sprang free.

" 'You expect me to tell you it was massive, huge thick and veiny, but it wasn't. Not at all! In fact it was rather thin and not very big at all. Hey ho I thought, half a loaf is better than no bread. But there was a second surprise in store, not a hair in sight! Completely waxed cock and balls.

" 'We were both pretty sexed up by now and I knew it wouldn't take much to push him over the edge so I took his balls in the palm of my hand. They were so soft and smooth, it felt like a bag of silk. Freeking erotic is what it was. I don't know if you've ever played with a waxed man, I hadn't and I tell you what, I had no idea what I was missing.

" 'So I put my thumb and forefinger on the tip of his cock, pulled his foreskin right back and started to lick the sensitive join, cupping his gorgeous balls in the other hand. It was so sexy, so soft and yummy. I usually do blow jobs for effect but I was doing this one for fun; my fun. My intuition was right, it didn't take long at all. His balls moved up, his knees buckled slightly and I got a mouthful.

" 'It actually didn't taste too yucky, slightly polleny and creamy, so I disposed of it in the approved fashion. It's supposed to be non fattening anyway and I have to say girls, if you haven't blown a man with waxed kit, you must put it on your bucket list. Quite apart from the fantastic softness you don't wind up flossing your teeth either!'

" Another exclamation of 'Janine!' From one of us then.

" 'For goodness sake, grow up girls. So now he's shot his bolt and I'm climbing the walls. I lay down on my back spread my legs and suggested he might like to get to work with his tongue until he was stiff enough for the promised shag. He was surprisingly good too, didn't need a map and compass like most men. He lapped and sucked for a while and I actually came, not earth shattering but I came, so can't complain.

" 'Anyway he's stiff again by now and ready to rock and roll. I always like to start in missionary for my first shag with a new guy. You get to look into their eyes and imagine what they are thinking, unless of course, they tell you. That's even better, I so love that.

" 'He slid his body up mine and, without having to guide his cock, I felt it at my entrance. Oh I do like not having to give a geography lesson. Erect hairless cock just found achingly wet pussy. His eyes locked into mine, cock pushed slowly, oh so slowly into me, millimetre by millimetre. That, for me, is nearly as good as an orgasm any day, being penetrated slowly and expertly for the first time with a new man while he stares into my soul.

" 'He may not have had the biggest or thickest or whatever but did he know how to use it! Shit it was like riding a freeking sybian.'

" 'Sybian?' Viki's voice punctured the atmosphere.

" 'Janine continued, For pity sake Viki, yes a sybian, have you never heard of a sybian?'

" 'Well actually no!'

" 'When you get home, google it. Actually google sybian ride, for a selection of videos. Watch some with your husband and I guarantee you a good evening. He'll be as stiff as a teenager before you get him upstairs. Meanwhile, for your education, a sybian is basically a super vibrator. It's sort of like a horse saddle only there's a fully erect cock in the middle and some pads in front of it for the benefit of your clit. You get comfortable, astride it, then lower yourself onto said erection. Once it's fully in place with your clit on the little pad you turn it on. That's when the fun starts, you control all its various functions and speeds until...well just until.

" 'The controller controls the speed, the vibration, the fucking motion and, best of all, the rotation. Orgasm guaranteed. Anyway he was nearly as good as a sybian but much more fulfilling not being a machine. So he shagged me and I shagged him. He could even do that magic rotating thing when I was on top. I have to say I just let go completely, ground my pelvis onto his cock and that really was earth shattering. Frankly I didn't need to try for round three. His rhythmic contractions, as he came, just set me off. I really hope the person next door was deaf because I got quite noisy.

" ' Once the action stopped, we were both thoroughly knackered so I went back to my room.'"

By this time my mouth was agape and all I could manage was.

"She was pretty graphic with her account!"

"She certainly was," came the reply, "and I've just googled sybian ride, wanna watch?"

"Go for it." And so we did, in both senses of the words.

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