Ladies Room Rules

There have been so many discussions of late, especially in online blogs by women, of how badly women behave in their use of the ladies room that Ladies Room Behavior appears an appropriate subject for review in this forum. The issue has been complicated by different viewpoints expressed in print by women on the one hand and transvestites on the other. It is my view that the etiquette rules should be the same for both groups. While the presence of transvestites in ladies rooms doubtless bothers many women, someone clearly dressed in female clothing and made up with a woman's appearance should be using the ladies room rather than the mens.

Recent descriptions of ladies rooms emphasize that women seem to be as badly brought up as men in terms of leaving the facility in a clean state. Even when they use urinals, men are known to spray their urine all over the place, not intentionally in most cases but out of carelessness. Women are often taught by their mothers or older sisters to "hover"—hold themselves in a sitting-like position above and off the toilet seat, for fear of catching any germs possibly present on that seat. In this position, however, there is more likelihood that they will spray pee elsewhere on the seat, floor and walls of the cubicle rather than in the toilet.

Others have reported that women are not attentive to wiping up what they have left on the floor, such as menstrual blood or even used feminine hygiene products. Most ladies room provide special small bins or wall containers for tampons and pads. It is inexcusable for a woman to fail to clean up the detritus of a menstrual accident in the ladies room.

I've gathered the following rules from several articles that have been written in attempts to improve the atmosphere in ladies rooms. Each has a gloss which should not be necessary but apparently is needed:

1. Flush. Some women seem to be embarrassed to be known to use the toilet for what it is intended. Make sure everything goes down. No one wants to see what you did.

2. Courtesy flush. My mother always flushed immediately after dropping a bowel movement. In the ladies room, this will cut down on the odor.

3. No more than two friends. It is not appropriate to have group meetings in the ladies room.

4. No sanitary supplies in the toilet. Pads and even used tampons can clog any plumbing to your intense embarrassment.

5. Don't leave sink water running. This is wasteful and inconsiderate.

6. Clean top of the toilet. Women often put something down here so it should be clean and dry.

7. Unclog the toilet. If you have the horrible experience of an overflow, get the plunger and save the next user's shoes.

8. Use proper trash receptacles. Again, it'

9. Wipe the counter. This is where many women check their makeup and place their handbags.

10. Replace supplies. It's horrible to be the one who sits and does her business only to find no toilet paper to wipe with.

11. Save the gossip. You never know who might be listening in the next stall.

12. Hang up the phone. Conversations carry well in here so don't broadcast yours.

13. Tell someone if there's a mess to be cleaned. It may take an extra minute but find the attendant.

14. Feet face forward. This is for transvestites especially who wish to pass successfully. TVs also should point their members straight down to sound like a woman excreting urine and to ensure that the stream goes directly into the bowl.

15. Leave adjoining stall empty next to one in use if possible. Many women appreciate not having someone in the next stall hear their body noises.

16. Do not bring male children over toddler age into the ladies room. Being there is not healthy for them or for other users who will be annoyed at the least.

17. Use the air freshener. It's there to make the place pleasanter.

18. If there is a line (queue), try to do your business efficiently. Women's urethras are shorter than men's which is why we are more prone to urinary accidents.

19. Cultural differences are important but do not stand on a toilet seat in order to squat. The seat is not made for that kind of use.

20. When someone has preceded you into the facilities and does not make a sound, movement or flush while you're tinkling, it means they are graciously waiting for the bathroom to clear before proceeding with their business. Please take the hint, expediently wash and scram.

21. Do not be the person who ignores the above clues and stands at the mirror doing your makeup. Campers can't hear you putting on mascara and may think you've gone, thus exposing you to potentially damaging sounds and smells.

22. Skirts often get caught in pantyhose or panty waistbands. Please inform your friends if they have tucked their skirts into their undies or pantyhose or if tissue is hanging from their waistband.

23. If you are forced to sit in the stall directly next to someone, watch your feet. There's no reason to have one foot in the stall to your left and one in the stall to your right.

24. When entering a public stall, always look for feet. Peek before you push and save yourself and others embarrassment.

25. If you use a paper seat cover, dispose of it properly either in the trash or the toilet, preferably the trash.

Ladies rooms are also now used for diaper changing. It appears mothers are equally negligent in leaving dirty diapers around instead of placing them in the trash. Also, they do not always clean the changing table or other place--the counter, for example--where the baby was lying when changed and may have soiled.

A final subject to be discussed is the revival of the old practice of mothers, aunts, nannies, or older sisters bringing their young charges of either sex to the ladies room to be disciplined. When I was growing up, my mother would threaten us with being taken to the ladies room, where she would seat herself on the couch and take the offending one across her lap for a panties-down spanking. Given that physical punishment of children is now very much under attack, it is unwise to engage in this kind of activity.

However, dominant women have adopted the practice of taking submissive women or even men into the ladies room to be humiliated in front of the women using the facility. The dominant enjoys hearing women comment that the sub appears to be "quite a big girl to still need to be taken to the ladies room." This practice appears appropriate but must be used with great discretion and certainly not in a milieu connected with the workplace. Taking a disobedient sub to the ladies room is a nice compromise between totally inappropriate public punishment and limiting punishment to the dominant and submissive alone. The sub suffers from her bottom being bared and her derriere looming high in the air for other women to stare at, along with her privates, as well as her reaction to being castigated in one way or another.