Lady Audrey's Birthday Party

"Hold on, Bunty," I said, "I'll see if she's about." Audrey nodded to indicate that she would answer on the other handset, gesturing at the same time that I should listen in.

"Good morning, Bunty. What can I do for you?" Silently Audrey mouthed to me the words 'big tits.'

"Just a social call. I expect your phone hasn't stopped since last week. The whole town is talking about nothing else." By 'the whole town' Bunty meant her Mayfair and Knightsbridge circle. "People say that gorgeous Dutchman conducted a master class, but nobody really knows anything."

"That was rather what I wanted."

"Yes, of course," Bunty struggled to conceal her disappointment that any further information was unlikely to be forthcoming. "But I really wanted to ask if you were doing anything tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? Yes, I'm afraid I am. Meetings morning and afternoon. What did you have in mind?"

"Well, you know Neville has gone off on one of those G8 things - it's his second year as an adviser, and they are always off to somewhere warm in the Caribbean. Boring meetings all day, of course, but plenty of bed-hopping at night."

"Really?"

"Oh yes. The support staff always includes a few popsies from Whitehall back offices. Neville is hopeful, but thinks the Minister may pull rank on him. In that case, Plan B will be that blonde American TV reporter. He's had her before and says she is quite good."

"And he tells you?"

"It's the best way, dear. All the while i've got a few tricks of my own he's always pleased to come home. But now he's got meetings in Washington after the conference, and I don't really enjoy a whole week of DIY. Which made me wonder if ... perhaps ... you and I ... you know?"

"Just us?"

"That was what I had in mind. Of course, we could talk about Conrad for another time, if that would appeal."

Audrey smiled at me. Into the phone she said, "I am free on Tuesday, but this is a bit of a surprise, you know. Can I think about it and call you back?'

"Yes, please do. I mean it's so easy for a man, he just pats you on the backside and asks if you fancy a tumble, and no offence taken if you say no. But for us - it's difficult, isn't it?"

"I'm sure you're right. Let me call you later."

When Audrey put the phone down, she said, "I Think I'll give it a try. Do you mind?"

"No, not really." In fact I was quite excited by the prospect.

"The truth is when we were trying it out with the van Diercks, that clever little Hannah had her hand between my legs and I was wondering how to go from there when it was change partners, and nothing happened. You are right, you know."

"About what?"

"Next time, we need one or two more couples. It didn't work with just the six of us. If I had taken Hannah that would have left Sophie and four men, one of them her husband. It would have been hopeless."

"And now Bunty tempts you?"

"I'm interested, yes."

"And you will tell me all about it afterwards?"

"Of course. That would be half the reason for doing it. I'm not going to turn lesbian on you. But you know what they say about variety."

At sixty-five Lady Audrey had discovered the sexual appetite of a thirty-five-year-old.