Lady Ironside Ch. 01

The chronological order of my stories is now listed in WifeWatchman's biography.

Feedback and constructive criticism is very much appreciated, and I encourage feedback for ideas.

This story contains graphic scenes, language and actions that might be extremely offensive to some people. These scenes, words and actions are used only for the literary purposes of this story. The author does not condone murder, racial language, violence, rape or violence against women, and any depictions of any of these in this story should not be construed as acceptance of the above.

Dedicated to the memory of Raymond Burr.

Part 1 - Prologue

"This is Bettina Wurtzburg, KXTC Channel Two News!" yelled the lovely redheaded reporterette from just outside the new State Crime Lab at 7:00am, Wednesday, August 31st. "The new State Crime Lab will open for business tomorrow morning! There will be ribbon-cutting ceremonies, and it will be very interesting with both candidates for Governor planning to be in attendance!"

"Are you going to be there, Commander?" Detective Joanne Warner asked me as we drank coffee in MCD. We were the only two there. Joanne had come in for morning sparring with Cindy, who was still cleaning up in the gym facilities.

"Yes, I've been invited... and ordered... to attend." I said. "The Chief does not want to be there by himself, and I don't blame him. But Tanya Perlman has promised me a tour of the facility before all the politicians get there and start irritating me."

Joanne giggled, then said "You worked in a crime lab a few years ago, didn't you, sir?"

"Yes, I did, in a lab that was contracted with Midtown." I said. "I was State-certified to run lab tests on evidence."

"Why did you leave?" Joanne asked.

"Well, I started up my own business, which was pretty successful." I replied. "And I also realized there was some corruption going on in that lab. So I got out of there as quickly as I could."

"Are they still operating?" Joanne asked.

"Noooooo." I said. "When the State Crime Lab was caught not running samples in our case of the Murdered Football Player, that lab suddenly shut down before they could be audited. Their equipment was bought out by the Forbes and Sehgal Engineering Company for their Environmental labs. Now the State has built new Crime Labs, and they're all but forcing us to use them."

"Will there be corruption again?" Joanne asked. I loved how she was losing her naivety, and was asking the correct questions.

"You know, probably not as much as one might think." I said. "Since that Murdered Football Player case, Defense lawyers are being really tough on Crime Lab witnesses, not giving them an inch nor any concessions on anything. So the State Crime Lab has really had to get their act together. Overall, it's a positive thing. And of course, Lt. Perlman is running the show across Town, there. She won't brook any bullshit."

"What will happen to our Crime Lab, sir?" asked Theo Washington as he came in and put his things on his desk.

"We'll still be running some preliminary stuff, and tests for the Coroner." I said. "I've also begun migrating our people towards a C.S.I.-type of role, so they're doing more fieldwork, evidence collection, stuff like that. For the most part, they're loving it. Tanya thought she'd get Christina Cho to come work over there, but Christina stayed here."

"You know why that is, don't you sir?" said Joanne. I shook my head as I looked at her.

"You." Joanne said simply. "Christina told Tanya that, with all due respect to Tanya and her Crime Lab, there was nothing like working for the very best... and your name was brought up as 'the very best'."

"As it well should be." said a voice coming in. It belonged to Captain Cindy Ross. "Ask Paulina Patterson and Jenna Stiles: our evidence and testing has held up better than any other Police Department in the State since the day Commander Troy walked in here... as a babyfaced Detective."

"I wish I could take credit for that." I said, smiling. "But the truth is that Chief Moynahan, and Chief Griswold before him, are the true masters of the crime scene. I still learn things from them."

Just then, Captain Susan Weston came into MCD, holding a wrapped package. "Your girdle came, Commander." she said, handing me the package.

"Girdle?" Theo practically shouted. Cindy was grinning, as well.

"In a sense." I said, opening the package. Inside was what amounted to a back brace in a corset, meant to give me some support for my injured back. The fun part was that it was woven mostly out of kevlar, and would protect my abs, lower back, and kidneys from gunfire. I showed everyone what it was.

"Girdle." Cindy said simply. "Bulletproof, but still a girdle." A red crowbar was waved in her general direction.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"How's the girdle?" Cindy asked as she, Lt. Masters and Lt. Croyle came into my office for the 'C(rowbar)-Level meeting.

"Not too bad." I said. I was sitting up very erect in my chair. "It sure keeps the pain in my back down."

"President Kennedy was wearing one of those when he was shot." said Teresa. "The back brace kept him sitting up after the first, likely non-fatal shot, and of course the next shot blew his head out."

"I'll try to keep that in mind," I said, "if I'm riding in any open limousines through Dallas. Okay, Captain Ross, did you get that uniform issue squared away?"

"Yes sir." said Cindy. She had always thought being shot in her gym ('Russian Roulette') wasn't a line-of-duty shooting, and was wearing a ribbon with a silver frame, for one Purple Order, which she definitely got when she was shot in the Olivet Gym. It seems Della Harlow reviewed that, found that Cindy had been awarded a Purple Order as a line-of-duty wound, and should be wearing a gold-bordered Purple Order ribbon.

"Good." I said. "You'll be looking squared-away tomorrow at the ceremonies."

"As long as I don't have to have my picture taken with Jack Lewis." Cindy said. "What are you going to do, sir?"

"Be glued at the hip to Governor Jared." I said. "Okay, what issues do we have, beside security for politicians that don't deserve it?"

"School starting back." said Lieutenant Wes 'Coldiron' Masters. "And security for the football game this weekend."

"I'll be blunt, sir," said Cindy, "I don't know what is going on in Precinct 1, but they're not writing up any tickets, there were three DUI accidents that in my opinion could've and should've been stops by Police much earlier, and when I asked for the coordinated security plan for Saturday's game, Precinct 3 was ready with the same stuff from last year, but Precinct 1 had nothing at all."

"I'll take the blame for that, for the lack of a game plan for the game." I said. "I'm their direct supervisor, and I have not given that the attention I should have. I have a meeting with the three Precinct Captains today; I'll make those corrective actions right away." I could see that Cindy was not mollified by that, but she held her tongue until the meeting was over.

After I dismissed the others, I said "Okay, let it out." Cindy smiled, knowing I was reading her thoughts.

"Sir, since your ordeal in early July, I've been trying to take some of the load off of your desk." Cindy said. "I've been interacting more with the Precinct Captains on your behalf."

"Yes, I know, and I appreciate it." I said.

Cindy went on: "I was talking to the Precinct Captains for a month about this. I don't know what Precinct Captain Briggs is doing, but he or his people should've taken some initiative on this, and without you having to ask."

"Well," I said, "I've noticed a tendency for the more... lacking... Officers to be assigned to 1st Precinct. Captain Briscoe has been weeding out some of the trash in his Precinct, and Captain Thompson gets the toughest Officers because his district sees the toughest crimes. But I am disappointed that leaders in 1st Precinct with opportunities to show some initiative have not stepped up."

"They're like their Precinct Captain." said Cindy. "They just sit back and let things happen. And sir, thing brings up another thing. May I speak freely?"

"Always, when we're alone like this." I said.

"Sir..." Cindy said, "I think you need a layer between you and the Precinct Captains. A Captain of Uniformed Officers again, but have one person answering to you and the Precinct Captains answering to him or her, and it being his or her full-time job. Captain Charles was able to just do that job before Precincts were put in. The way it is now, you've got five people answering to you instead of three: me, Detectives; Goodwin, Internal Affairs; and three Precinct Captains when it should be one person."

I nodded. "I hear what you're saying. And the Chief has already brought this up with me. I kind of had the feeling he and 'Coldiron' talked informally about it, and that's okay. But there are two problems. One is that the Council, even our friends on it, don't want to reinstate the Captain of Uniformed Officers slot. The second problem is that it might give Brownlee a crack to slide into in his efforts to get back on the Police Force."

"Oh God, him again..." Cindy said, a scowl marring her ruggedly pretty face.

"Yep." I said. "I don't know who he is answering to, but someone is pushing him hard to get back into the Police Force."

"He's not doing it on his own?" Cindy asked, as her ice-blue eyes began to sparkle with new understanding.

"Oh hell no." I said. "He doesn't have it in him. Okay, I've got a Precinct Captains meeting to attend, and fortunately it's at 1st Precinct. Then I'm going to get the early tour of the State Crime Lab from Lt. Perlman..."

Part 2 - Certifiable

Thursday, September 1st. The SBI had wanted to muscle in to do security for the Governor and SBI Director, as well as the other 'personages' due to attend the ceremony. I told them that any SBI Agent inside my County without my permission would be arrested, and with the use of deadly force if need be. I then had the State Troopers come in with a consignment to protect the 'personages'.

The new State Crime Lab, situated just north of University Memorial Stadium on the edge of the State's property that abutted the University, was a three story building. The back half of the building, all three floors was composed of various labs, with exhaust hoods and other such devices that led to scrubbers on the back side of the building. The front half of the building, all three floors, were offices.

I was in my Duty Dress uniform, as was Cindy. The Governor's Media and Campaign people had all but screamed at me for not wearing my formal uniform with ribbons, obviously wanting to use me for their own purposes. When I told them that I would endorse Jack Lewis if they raised their voices at me again, they maintained a dumbfounded shock in my presence. The Governor also had a stern word with them.

U.S. Congressman Gerald A. Condor and State Senator Katherine Woodburn were there, as were the U.S. Senator candidates: incumbent (Establishment) Republican Samuel Russell, and Democrat Zack Millner. Our local State Representative, William C. 'Billy' Williams, had declined to attend, as he'd been against spending the money on a new State Crime Lab from the start.

Regional State DOJ Director Harold Bennett was there, and his office would be in the building. Also there was SBI Lieutenant and State Crime Lab Director Tanya Perlman, driving at high speeds along the hallways. Media people and State Senators alike learned quickly that if they did not get out of her way, she would have no compunction in running them down. Katherine Woodburn almost learned the hard way.

"Commander, I must congratulate you on your successes earlier this summer." Congressman Condor said to me right in front of Katherine. "And you also, Captain Ross... very cool under pressure inside that church."

"Thank you, sir." Cindy said politely.

"Yes, you're to be congratulated, Commander." Katherine said, acid in her voice. "Is your back recovered?" That caused Cindy to smile, what with her knowledge of my 'girdle'.

"Operating within normal parameters, Senator." I said. "It's not a hindrance in getting my job done."

"That's good to hear." said Katherine. "Of course, if your position were vacated, then the County's trouble with Commander Brownlee would be resolved."

"Senator," I said behind the mask of a smile, "I think you know as well as the rest of us that Mister Brownlee cannot command his way out of a paper bag. Of course, if ever I am incapacitated, I feel very reassured in the knowledge that Captain Ross would do an exceptional job in my place." Cindy almost glared at me when I said that.

"I'm sure she would." said Councilwoman Malinda Adams, coming up to us. "Senator, may I introduce some ladies to you that are running for various local positions?" With that, Katherine was drawn away. Congressman Condor congratulated both of us again, then made his way over to U.S. Senator Russell.

FBI Agents Jack Muscone and Sandra Speer were in attendance, as well. Jack was personally invited by Tanya, and Sandra was there to have his back, just as I always made sure to have someone with me. It also kept SBI Narcotics Task Force Director Richard 'Dick' Ferrell from attending; he knew Muscone would not hesitate to physically destroy him, and that I'd help by having Sergeant Rudistan pull Ferrell over and arrest Ferrell for conspiracy with Agent Sharples to kill one certain local Police Commander. Nope, I had not forgotten, much less forgiven.

The Media was all over both candidates for Governor, trying to get them together for photos though they made every effort to not be near each other. Finally, Regional Director Bennett began the ceremonial ribbon-cutting outside the front door. He, Tanya, Senator Russell, State Senator Woodburn, the Governor and the SBI Director all had scissors to make the shot. The Media wanted to take several shots, but Tanya broke them down hard, saying they'd get one chance, then everyone would go inside.

Then we went on the tour. A lot of the lab employees were at their stations, most of them looking scared to death. Of course the various candidates, especially the Governor and SBI Director were going through the rooms shaking the employees' hands, and a few techs took selfies with candidates. Then we got to a lab on the last floor, and Tanya sprang her biggest surprise.

"Okay, everyone," she said, "I have arranged a demonstration of a test for you. As you know, the State Certification testing requires taking a written test as well as running some sealed quality control samples. Commander Donald Troy has passed the written part and most of the tests; he has one test to go to be re-certified to run evidence tests. This also will make him an expert witness in any Court cases where a lawyer is dumb enough to challenge him."

There was laughter at that as I took off my Police jacket. Cindy quickly took it, to prevent one of Jack Lewis's aides from taking it. I put on a labcoat and safety glasses, and went to a station where a colorimetric test was to be performed. Filling the burette, I made my standards in volumetric flasks and ran them, telling everyone what I was doing each step of the way. Everyone was fascinated as the blue color went to clear.

"Weren't you a Chemistry major, Commander?" asked Congressman Condor as I worked.

"Yes, Congressman." I replied. "And so were The Batman and Sherlock Holmes."

I then cracked open an ampule of the sample to be tested, pipetted a certain amount into a volumetric flask. Everyone was watching closely, including the Governor and SBI Director. I completed the task and submitted the answer. Tanya checked it on the computer, then printed out a form.

"This is your certificate, Commander." Tanya said. "You are now re-certified to work in any State Crime Lab. Just give me a call if your current job doesn't work out." Everyone applauded politely.

"So that's the basics of the labs." Tanya said. "Better living through chemistry."

"There's a reception in the First Floor Conference Room." said Harold Bennett, who had not known Tanya was going to have me complete that test and get my certification back, and was feeling upstaged. All of the dignitaries went down to the reception, where the 'personages' made their speeches.

After it was over, Tanya invited me, Cindy, Jack and Sandra to her office. It was on the third floor, on the southeast corner, which overlooked the road leading up to The Cabin. "Yep," she said, "I get the view of the side of the mountain. Regional Director Bennett has the corner office that overlooks the Bus Station and the top of the Town."

"How do you like working with Bennett?" Cindy asked. Tanya's eyes sparkled a bit.

"I noticed he avoided you all day, Captain Ross." Tanya replied. "But to answer you: he is definitely a political man. He's nice enough, but he has political ambition. You guys saw how he fawned on both the Governor and Director Lewis today."

"He didn't look too happy when you had the Iron Crowbar run that test." Jack Muscone said.

"Especially when Lewis and Jared were in the picture with me, and Bennett wasn't." I said. "How do you think he's going to be when you need money for the Lab?"

Tanya nodded at me. "It is extremely fortunate that the rates of pay for my lab people were set by the Legislature. Mr. Bennett actually suggested we hire people out of high school instead of people with degrees, to save money on salaries. I told him that would be problematic in Court. Some of these people are going to have to be called to testify, especially the lab supervisors. Just imagine a nineteen-year-old kid on the stand during a big murder trial."

"Speaking of the hires," I said, "what do you think of them?"

"I'm sure you can tell me more than I could tell you about them, after seeing them on your tour, Commander." Tanya said, her cheeks rosy as she teased me. "They're a pretty good bunch. Most are right out of School, and a lot of them were not having much luck getting jobs anywhere else. So they're eager to work, and I'll be able to train them up right."

"Good." I said. "Prepare now for turnover, when many of them become C.S.I.s in Police Departments all over the place."

"Is Chemistry really that bad?" Jack Muscone asked. For some reason, all eyes went to me.

"I'll just tell you this." I said. "When someone asks me if they should major in Chemistry, I reply that they should do one of two things: either plan from the moment they step on Campus to get their Ph.D.s., do not pass Go, do not collect $200; -or- double-major in something else like Chemical Engineering, or Computer Programming, or Business, or Criminal Justice. Because after ten years, a Bachelors Degree is nothing anymore, and they'll max out on what they're paid. Of course, pre-Meds are what they are."

I went on: "The University, as well as my School, doesn't have a Chemistry Masters Degree program. If you are in the Ph.D. program and drop out with enough hours, they'll issue you a Masters Degree, but that's the only way to get one in many Schools these days. Ergo... go for the Ph.D., get some patents and get paid for them."

Part 3 - The Crime Scene

Friday, September 2nd. It was a long weekend, and Alumni were already beginning to come in for the University's game against the State U. Purple Hawks, who were the Wildcats' arch-rival. The Purple Hawks were a good team, and expected to win the game and start Coach Ted Thrasher's career with a loss. The Wildcats, by the way, were playing State Tech to begin their season and the defense of their Conference and National titles.

Just before 1:00pm, Cindy came to my office. "3d Precinct just called in a dead body at the Hyatt Hotel." I grabbed my crowbar and we headed out to my Police SUV.