tagHumor & SatireLana Likes Me!

Lana Likes Me!


I met her tonight. After a wonderful meal at Brecks, I walked around DC looking for a place to end my night. It was cool, clear and simply right. I knew I could do no wrong. I saw homeless in the street but tonight, tonight was about me. Ever so often the stars align to provide such a time. I decided to enjoy it.

First stop, a bar with my co-workers. So many adventures begin this way. There is a reason. We continue drinking, one drink for me and a few beers for them. It is not even eight o'clock yet. We joke about the video trivia screen and keep tabs on the baseball game. Not overly interested mind you, but four guys together, we have to give at least passing notice.

It is while giving token comments about the baseball game we talk about a 'Gentlemen's Club' we saw on the way to the bar. Now, none of us are drunk, but not quite sober either. That wonderful in between stage of happiness each man knows and every boy desires.

The club, conveniently so, is next door. We are in town for business, no one knows us. Finally we agree to check out the club. Guy number four departs before entering. He is the boss and does not want to witness something, or be involved in something else.

We remaining three enter and find seats at the end of the bar. Starting a tab, we are quickly invited to the center of the bar. Tables are reserved for others. Sitting right in front of the stage we see beauties like no other. One after another, sexy women entertain and entice with their natural talent and developed skills.

A few more drinks and many dances later, we three go from sober but feeling good to not even close to sober. All the entertainers are striking. Each possessing a quality the other does not. While blatantly sexual, no sex occurs. At least that we witness. But our attention was focused on the main stage.

Finally a sumptuous brunette takes the stage. She is wearing a bright pink bikini. I noticed her earlier as she walked the bar. She dances. That is to say she, captures my soul. Lana parades about for all to see. (Yes! I mean seeing all.) I know in my heart she is for me. I finally work up the courage to tip her while she is performing on stage. But I am too late. Her set is over leaving my hanging (not literally!).

My friends want to stay a bit longer. While dejected at my missed opportunity I meekly agree. By now, having ingested enough alcohol for a well-conditioned frat boy, I need to quick pit stop. More then ready, Lana's set was long and engrossing.

I return to my seat chiding my own hesitancy. I am a stranger here, what would one tip cost me after all? Wimp!

We order another round and I am determined to put her out of my mind. Then, the unimaginable happens. Lana approaches me! And (of course!) she likes me, she really likes me! We chat. I buy her a drink. She touches my arm. We chat, I try to play it cool. Leaning forward at every opportunity. Her hair brushed my cheek. Electricity fills the air. We discuss, something, I truly do not remember. I was honest, well mostly, honest with her.

Did I mention my gender?

We have a long talk. I am impressed by her oral skills (always liked that joke) and she eventually returns to her assigned duties. For me, not so much a young man anymore, it is a great night. Lana has taken an older gentleman and made his night like no other. But I feel I owe her more then a generous tip and a drink. To be a real man I must tip her while she dances. She must know I am willing to stand up for her. At least when she is on stage dancing naked for a bar full of men.

So time passes. Girl after girl dances, each as fetching as the last. I begin to despair. Will I see my Lana again? Has she already forgotten me? Did she really, NOT like me?

As doubts overwhelm my good, alcohol fueled thinking I spy from the corner of my eye a beautiful brunet dancing on stage! Gone is the hot pink bikini, she now sports a bright green bikini. She is more that enticing still. She is my Lana!

Fate has intervened, providing one more chance to demonstrate my new found love. I bide my time. First her top is removed. Her dance continues, earning wages from those heathens. I know she is sexy, by now, everyone there knows she is sexy! Finally the small bikini bottom (regrets to Sponge Bob) is removed. My patience has paid off, this is it! Confidently I approach the stage, money in hand, while she performs for me. I know this because she looks me in the eye. When two people love each other, words are not needed. She likes me, she really likes me!

The moment of truth, my tip. Not much I freely admit but I feel like a millionaire standing at the foot of the stage waiting for her to approach me. She accepts it with a smile, a smile only I can appreciate. Oh, I know every one else sees it but this smile is special for me.

How do I know, because, she likes me, she really likes me!

Now, my night is done. The day has ended. I must leave my Lana to finish her shift. I have to rise in a few hours. There is a bittersweet taste in my mouth. Leaving my Lana to these sweaty drunks who do not care about her. Who cannot appreciate those ethereal qualities I touched earlier. Lana and I made a connection. Something special transpired here tonight. I know we both will treasure this all our lives. Turning I look back, the room dark and stage brightly lit, only to see the sorrow in her eyes as I depart. How do I know?

Because Lana likes me, she really likes me!

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