Latin Lover, A Review

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A review of Latin Lover on TLN.
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DireLilith
DireLilith
518 Followers

There is nothing sweeter to the lips and that passes so easily over the tongue than public access pornography, and a simple channel with a simple show provides that to the masses every week – at the cost of your regular cable, depending on where you live!


Every Friday, for a handful of months this year, I would eagerly wait for Friday nights. In the chill of an old house in spring cuddling around me, I fought off fatigue and stayed up later than usual. And for only one reason – Latin Lover. Around midnight, when all the educational television had thoroughly saturated my brain with knowledge I knew I'd probably never use, it came time to change the channel to the Latin Network. Once there, I'd wait through commercials I couldn't understand even if I spoke the language, advertisements that were selling me things I wouldn't buy even if the spokespeople could speak English; I did all this just to glimpse if I was too late. And every week, I was never sure. For some reason, this one show I was unable to track. I never thought to check the time when I finally turned to this channel. I didn't think to use a television guide, a channel guide, none of the expensive details I purchased with my cable package. If I turned the channel to TLN, and if Latin Lover was on, then it was on and I considered myself nothing less than blessed!

What is Latin Lover, the pay-per-view connoisseur of porn might ask? This is a priceless gem of a television show that I happened on purely by accident, years ago. Being a relentless seasonal insomniac, sometimes I find myself viewing channels I would not normally view in the daytime. For instance, take those info-mercials. I've actually watched them in entirety, from start to finish and then again if the channel was insane enough to play the same one twice. Call me crazy but nothing bores the thinking brain like television – t.v. was a great cure for my insomnia, at least! However, I'm also a notorious "surfer". When I am in the car, I change channels any time someone talks, or on every commercial break. The same applies to my television watching habits; I change the channel as soon as the "show" breaks and I head for the next best show on.

Years ago, after surfing late at night, I discovered Latin Lover. I turned the channel through TLN, expecting to see commercials in foreign tongues, and found instead a bounty of babes and breasts that couldn't be matched at the time! Oh their tongues were foreign! But the exotic ways they twisted and turned them, I sure didn't mind! Greeting my eyes with sweet smooth flesh were the crisply naked bodies of beautiful Latino men and women – all passionate, all the time. They bucked and writhed, grinding against each other. What they were saying or what the plot was, I didn't care at the time. All I wanted was more, more, more!

Eventually my insomnia was cured and I moved on. I got a job in the adult industry that lets me view all the porn I want. I thought for sure that I would become jaded by the free titties I have access to, that sexcapades would soon bore me. That never happened, I'm glad to say. Yes I am now a connoisseur in my own right, and I enjoy certain indulgent fetishes that I never knew existed previous to my current employment. I relish taboo sex, seek out forced sex scenes and search for other things that vanilla flavoured pervs turn up their noses at. I am not as specific as I once used to be, and I do get bored very easily. But now more than ever, I know what I want – and if it's not free, it's not for me. The internet taught me that. I shouldn't have to pay for anything, so I don't. There is always something satisfying and free. I'm on the internet to make money, not give it away foolishly. Do I respect those who pay for the artwork and literature I make with my own hands? I do not. I'm quite grateful they haven't figured out that what I create can be found elsewhere. I truly hope that what service I provide in my own creative endeavors has some sort of selective quality to it that just won't be imitated. Do I believe that with all of my dark little heart? Not yet. Tomorrow, next year perhaps, but not yet.

After working through a few more insomnia-ridden years, I had a period where I didn't seek out television as much. I rather avoided it. I filled my life with other joyful things that had real meaning. All things change though, and all things come full circle, don't they? Soon, I found myself curled up in a rocking armchair, flicking through channels on the boob-tube. Then suddenly that name was not such a misnomer as I used to think it was. Suddenly, I was back on TLN. And the screen was once more filled with mocha skin, coffee tones and soft tans. Oh the flesh, the rounded fake breasts, and the plump bottoms! Oh I must admit that I'm very fond of fake tits. I'm not a lesbian, I'm what's called "bi-curious". I don't intend to find and marry my true female love and adopt some sperm from a choose-your-own-adventurer style of depository. I don't require a woman to be au naturel, with real breasts that have a slight droop or are unevenly measured. No, I'm quite fond of the fake tits that show up in porn and comic imagery, in pinup calendars and on newspapers tracking Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears (my, did she ever "grow up" quickly!). I don't care so much for the lips and asses with silicone injected in. Just breasts, I love breasts that are round and smooth and just a bit bigger than you'd expect a girl that slender to have. This brings me quickly to my next observation about these lovely ladies in Latin Lover. They are all slender, to be sure, but not one of them is deathly ill looking. Perhaps it's the fact that this particular show is actually made somewhere in Southern America, a land only just being discovered and registered as a Third World in need of "salvation". Maybe these people haven't caught on to the North American belief that a girl who is in shape needs to have ribs, spine, ankle and femur bones all showing, and thank goodness for that! No, these ladies appreciate their food, they're grateful to eat! And it shows, all over their bodies. Their bellies are smooth, their navels delicious and flat; but their thighs are plump and rounded, their asses so curved you couldn't balance a penny on any angle of them. Their chests are not thin, they do not come across as being tall and Parisian in any way, shape or form. They've got the bodies of well cared for peasants, that I definitely saw. And I liked it! I loved it!

Sitting there all by myself with nothing else to keep me company but a television show airing only after midnight, I found myself lost in the actual plot of the show. There is a dance production company making a television show of its own – how about that, a television show about a television show, like we haven't seen that before! There are several ladies that are vying for the now vacant lead role in the dance show. The owner of the company has a daughter who has a fiancé who also runs the show on a more personal level. He gets to know the ladies quite intimately, and some of them have trouble keeping his secrets! Of course at some point he is discovered and loses his seniority in the company. It goes on and on and on. The plot schemes and twists and it's difficult to tell who is married to whom, who thinks they love who, and who is going to fuck next. Yes that's right! They fuck in this show! Well no, it's not real fucking. The male actors are soft, not erect, and they tuck their penises behind their female counterparts and out of the way. I have always found it hot that I can actually see that, that I get glimpses of dick, soft as it may be. The cameras take great shots, the sex scenes are very passionate and emotion-filled; but the slip ups and the mistakes are just as enticing and they keep you watching just as much as any of these lovely beauties might.

So it was that I found and watched Latin Lover for several months. While left alone in my own solitude and with insomnia welcomed gladly this time, I watched more and more of this show. I discovered that it actually has a dubbed version that I could watch and follow along with, but the dubbing was terrible. It was like talking to someone from Spain or Brazil, someone who didn't understand English. The metaphors and insinuations were all wrong, the meaning of certain phrases twisted and lost. But it didn't matter. I wasn't watching for the story, now was I? No, I was watching for the sleek bodies and riveting gazes, the passionate kisses and tender yet seductive embraces. I wanted to see only the sex parts, the ways the youngest actress intended to seduce the owner of the production company and the ex-fiancé as well! I fell in love with her, and many of her compatriots. There were a few girls that I didn't find worth watching, at least their faces or their hair or their very outdated clothing; but still, I loved their breasts, their writhing bodies and their alluring come-hither way of speaking to one another.

Only once during this brief period of weekly sex for free did I receive the most gracious of gifts. I watched eagerly each episode, and though they seemed arranged in a terrible order, I didn't mind seeing repeats. I memorized the sex scenes and played them over in my head. It didn't matter to me that they never actually consummated the sex act – the imitation and pretense of what they were doing was more than enough. I only knew that I wished I could be their hands, their lips, one of the two bodies pressed together. And so watching closely as I did, I was able to finally glimpse what I'd given up on seeing – a lesbian scene! One lady was fantasizing about her employees, a man and his wife. In her dream, she was laying prone on a pool table in a lounge room, naked, nipples erect, thighs parted. The man she was drooling over at the time rose up next to her and began to kiss her legs. I thought it was quite hot. Then out of no where, his wife comes up from the same side. She began to lick over the lovely lady's belly, up to her beautiful bountiful breasts and then down to her waiting lips. It was a threesome and though brief, it was incredibly erotic. It was well worth waiting for and I felt I had been rewarded for actually struggling through the plot mechanisms and contrivances. All of the mundanities of an actual "show" were made worthwhile by this one simple sex scene.

Well I know that it's not likely anyone is going to seek out this show based on my limited experiences with it. It wasn't a famous show, that I know of. It was more a show for a hobbyist, I suppose. But it still holds a strong place in my dreams. Now I have more things to do again, and television is once again just for learning. I watch the Discovery channel, Discovery Health channel, TechTV, and other shows. I hunger for the corporate soft porn channels like Hustler and Playboy but like internet porn, I refuse to shell out money for things I can find rather cheaply if I really wanted to. I don't have the patience or time to go and find Latin Lover again, though I know it's on and though I have the wherewithal now of timing it exactly so I never miss it. It just isn't part of what I do.

When it came time to write a review about something, there was little I could write about that anyone might identify with. The movies I most love are not particularly sexy. The books I read are not adult oriented in nature and the scenes that border on erotic, well, they would probably make most people yawn. What could I write about that would interest anyone in the slightest? While it may be truth that my review of Latin Lover will not make someone rush out and scan desperately their own local cable channels for The Latin Network channel, my simple review should at least inspire something. There are those of us who will not require deep throating or titty fucking. There are people who will wait for free public access porn, as it were, rather than pay for something. And there are those of us, maybe a majority of us who are real women, who will get off on seeing sexy supernaturally beautiful bodies portraying sex scenes with all the depth of an erotic pinup – but all the worshipping fans someone producing such stuff might need. I know I'd never pay to see the Latin Lover show on a higher cable channel. I do know I'm aroused by the show, excited and titillated by the little bits and pieces of flesh I get to see. I know I am honestly wet when I remember the scene where the younger actress snuck into the boss's office and pressed her incredibly fake tits against his grey business suit and sat in his lap and ground downwards with her dancer ass. Should all good porn have to be dirty, sticky and wet? Or shouldn't some of it be just enough to leave me in that exact state? That's about all I can say about anything really. I like this show. I hope others know of it too and like it!

DireLilith
DireLilith
518 Followers
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