Law of the Heart Ch. 04

Why didn't I go cut in..... dance the sexy dance with my wife? Why did I stay in the shadows?

I felt so alone, standing by myself. Watching....... waiting? What was I waiting for?

This woman who I loved with every fiber of my being, completed me. Wasn't my place next to her? Next to her was the place that I wanted to be more than any other? Wasn't she the person who made my life worthwhile? Wasn't she the person who both literally and figuratively completed me? Yes... she was, and despite all the happiness that she gave me, somehow it was not enough. Hadn't she proven herself to me time and again? Maybe not, she had been half- naked with Juan… and love is such a fickle thing.

It was if I was waiting for her to shout out to the assembled crowd, to my friends.

"Jake is my true and only love... my completion, my soul-mate!"

But could she really say that here? I would, but could she. More importantly, was I even in her consciousness at the moment. Or was this a moment just for herself...everything else forgotten. I never had a moment without thinking about both Jill and Jake Junior. Maybe I was waiting to see if she held me first in the same way. I was waiting for her to leave, be by herself... so she could think about me... instead of all these other people.

That's what I would do, but would she? Maybe I was jealous that she could have a life, have experiences that didn't involve me. I wasn't overly possessive, and I was confident in our relationship. I KNEW she loved me.... But there was always that little hidden uncertainty. Just because while we touched each other

Like no one else in the world, we were still separate people, weren't we?

"No," I didn't think of myself as a separate person. Since we were married, I thought of us as one. Two organisms, but one life force. Did Jill feel that way? Or did she see herself as a separate person, who happens to be in love with another person called Jake.

"That was it." I knew if something ever happened to Jill I would die, cease to exist. The living organism called Jake might survive, but who "I now was", would no longer exist. To me Jill and I were one unique being. I was both of us. That's why I worried about something happening to her. Not only would my wife and partner be lost to me, but also I would be lost to me, because she IS me.

But did she feel that way? I was no longer so sure. I was her husband, lover and friend. But if I were no longer here, would she die? Or would she put it behind her after the appropriate adjustment time. Eventually, moving on with her OWN life.

I thought, "I was one with her. Without her I would be no more. But was it the same for her?"

From her point-of-view, she might see herself as "being simply attached to me. If that attachment broke,

she would be able to continue as Jill. Perhaps sad, perhaps with an empty feeling of terrible loss,

but she would be able to continue."

And so, as I watched my friends surround the spinning and gyrating couples, cheering and clapping, was any thought in her head focused on ME?"

I knew the answer, and that was why I watched from the dark. Hoping that she would seek me out.

If not in the dark or even on the phone, than at least in her actions, in her thoughts.

"Please...." I cried to myself. "Please Jill! Think of me.... be with me in your mind and soul......"

A raucous cheer went up from the closed circle of bodies that surrounded the dancers.... A bright yellow swatch of cloth floated above the heads of the onlookers, then settled gently onto the sand....

"Yellow," I thought, "Jill was wearing bright greens and oranges, not yellow."

Another roar from the crowd.... and another piece of fabric flew out of the circle. This one was blue...

I relaxed for a moment, "of course Hector's wife." The model had been wearing a yellow shirt and blue hot pants over her bathing suit.

"She must be dancing with Hector in her bikini," my logical mind decided.

I couldn't see... But I had to see, and for the first time I moved into the soft light.... walking tentatively up to

the tight circle of bodies. As I walked I tried to project my thoughts to Jill, who was somewhere in that throng,

"I'm here my love, I'm here. Please...Please.. think of me... Think of your one true love."

I willed the message to her with my mind.

No one turned as I stood at the back of the group. All of their attention was focused on two dancing couples. Someone had increased the volume of the music, the deep bass reverberating through the sand, causing a physical reaction as the sound waves hit tender exposed skin. Hector was pulling his shirt off his muscled body, he was dancing with his model wife. Yes, she was indeed now dancing in her bikini.

She was moving wildly, wantonly, running her hands up and down Hectors chiseled chest as his shirt dropped onto the sand.

Next to them Jill and Juan danced. His hands running up and down the sides of her body! She had one leg thrust forward, splitting the opening of her sarong. Her bare shapely leg exposed to the top of her thigh, her hands on Juan's shoulders as she matched his movement step for step. All four of the dancers were breathing hard and I could see a slight sheen of perspiration covering their bodies from the wild exertions. Jill had kicked off her sandals and I could see bright red toe nail polish flashing through the sand as her feet moved.

I looked at the faces in the crowd. May were slack jawed, watching in awe, and excitement. Some were clapping and swaying to the music, just enjoying the party. Others were encouraging the four dancers to even wilder moves and behavior.

Steve and Meredith were part of the second group, holding hands and swaying to the music, watching with interest, but not gawking.

Sally and several of the single men were the most raucous... I guess being married did change your ttitude. Sally was shouting something like, "Go, Go Go," in a drunken voice. The single men were also adding their own words of encouragement to the dancers.

"Don't listen to them Jill," my mind cried out. "These were my friends?" I asked myself. Would they be acting this way if they knew I was standing here at the back of the crowd?

Juan's hands continued to move up and down Jill's sides. Stopping at her waist his fingers untied the knot that held the sarong at Jill's swinging hips. Once untied, he used the large cloth like a sling. Pulling Jill forward, then letting her lean against it and slip away. He jerked the fabric in time to the music. Pulling her closer, then letting her retreat, her bathing suit covered buttocks cradled in the hammock made from her sarong. It was erotic as hell, even I could tell that, as my mind shattered at the sight. Finally, Jill put her arms out against Juan's chest, holding herself away... in response Juan pulled her hips in closer. They laughed and enjoyed the parody of a woman playing hard to get on one hand while their groins finally pressed together on the other!

And her suit! I had never seen it before. It wasn't a string bikini like Hector's wife wore, but it was more revealing than any I had ever seen Jill wear. French cut. Her long shapely legs seemed to go forever before reaching the high cut bikini bottoms. The front was narrow, the back exposing the lower part of her buttocks. She looked good, very good, and I assumed that she must have taken the time to get a bikini wax.

Her exposed flesh was translucent and pink.

Juan held the sarong with one hand while literally ripping his shirt off his body with the other. Then he again used both strong hands on the colorful cloth to pull Jill forward, against him!

This time her hands pressed against his bare muscled chest as the dance continued. Jill's eyes were wild.

Her mouth was open, laughing and sucking in gulps of air to feed her gyrating body! Juan grinned smugly as he continued to grind his pelvis against Jill's. I knew that he was pushing his erection against her soft midriff.

I heard a cheer from the other side of the open dance area. Forcing my eyes away from my wife I saw Hector holding his wife's bikini top over his head as the two continued their sexy dance. Hector wanted to reclaim the center of attention so he had upped the ante! His wife was beautiful. Large firm breasts that seemed to defy gravity and were perfect in their symmetry.

Shouted comments from the crowd included: "Wow." "Look at that." "Look at her tits giggle."

Hectare's wife danced with a practiced eroticism. A pro... not the amateur that Jill was.

In many ways, Jill's dance was sexier because it was both unpolished and unplanned. In a phrase, Jill seemed innocently erotic as compared to Hector's wife, who knew exactly how to move. It was obvious that this wasn't the first time that she had danced topless. The blonde Barbie was beautiful and sexy and I felt my cock stir! But the Barbie doll wasn't Jill, and she never would be.

The nudity had an interesting effect on my classmates. Part of the crowd became even more raucous. Cheering for hotter dancing and more nudity. These cheers came from the single crowd and a few couples. But many of the more reserved couples felt that the fun had gone a bit to far and began moving away from the dance area, either back to the bar, or over to look at the moon reflecting on the water.

A few couples even started heading up the path towards the resort cottages where they were staying

having had enough of the party scene. I glanced down at my watch and realized it was almost 11pm.

I had been watching for almost three hours. Since there were not as many bodies surrounding the

dancing couples and people were now moving about. I retreated back into the darkness of the foliage,

out of the light. Nobody had noticed me and I could still see Jill and Juan, through the smaller cheering crowd.

They didn't seem to notice that their audience had shrunk.... they were completely into each others movements. The remaining hooting crowd was still very vocal, with Sally being among the loudest. Jill's former roommate was obviously very drunk. Up until now, except for the wild dancing and topless boating, Jill hadn't done anything overtly "over the line." Jill looked over at Hector and his nearly naked wife. I could tell she was embolded by the cheering crowd. She paused for a moment, licked her lips and then in response to her "fans" grabbed the hem of her belly shirt.

I heard Sally yell, "Go Girl."

A chorus of "Go, Go, Go," rang out. Jill smiled almost sweetly at Juan and then with one fluid motion

pulled her shirt up an over her head. Swinging the shirt clear of her hair she tossed it to the ground.

I said a little prayer of thanks that Jill was wearing her bathing suit. But the cheers encouraged her back into Juan's arms. I saw that her bikini top was also more revealing than she usually wore, and while her breasts were fully covered, the top pushed her flesh up and out like an offering. A crescent of jiggling breast overflowing the bra cups creating a sexy cleavage.

My heart sank as the erotic dance continued. Becoming more and more frantic, the two couples swirled

and moved. It appeared that each couple was trying to "out perform" the other. As the music reached a crescendo Jill made a particularly rapid and spontaneous movement, her left hand on Juan's sweating chest and her other arm waving violently above her head, her right breast popped from the tight restraint

of her bikini bra. The crowd gave a cheer and Jill continued dancing. Her round white tit swaying loose

pushed up even higher and more prominent because of the fabric bunched underneath. Her dark red nipple

standing out in stark contrast to the milky smoothness of her breast. After a few moments she realized

what had happened. Either the crowd noise or the coolness of the air on her exposed skin finally alerted her to

the fact that she was exposed. She gave a mild shreek, but continued to smile as she tucked herself back into her

bikini top. The crowd "booed" in fun, as her nakedness was finally covered. She stopped dancing, and smiling at the

jeering group, gave a silly curtsey, as if to say, "that all." Then taking Juan's hand she walked away leaving

Hector and Barbie to finish the dance. The crowd remained around the dancing couple as Jill and Juan walked to the bar and got a drink to help cool off.

When the song ended Hector and his topless wife bowed to the applause of those remaining, then walked arm-in-arm to a secluded area that held a large hot-tub. Hector pulled off his shorts revealing black nylon speedo swim trunks and settled into the swirling waters with his wife. This seemed to signal the end of the party. A few of the remaining crowd, including Sally went back to the bar, and the rest began to disappear towards the cottage like rooms of the resort.

Surprisingly Sally and a single male member of my class, headed to the hot-tub with drinks in hand. Along the way Juan and Jill had joined them. Soon all six had stripped down to their bathing suits and were neck deep in the hot tub, talking quietly among themselves.

After a few minutes in the tub, Hector sat up on the edge of the tub with his wife leaning back between his legs. He began to massage her neck and shoulders. In her loud and drunken voice Sally said something about wanting a back-rub too. Obligingly, the skinny man who had walked with her sat up and copied Hector. I could hear Jill say something with a laugh and immediately Juan took the same position behind her.

It was obvious to me that they were all feeling no pain. This was compounded when Hector reached over and took something from his pocket. Soon he had lit a long and very fat home rolled cigarette. In only moments the pungent odor of pot waifed to me on the light tropical breeze. The marijuana made it rounds of the group, accompanied by both sighs and giggles of the group. I didn't know if Jill would smoke it or not. She never cared much for it when we had experimented in college. But as luck would have it Sally took a big hit and handed the joint to Jill

encouraging her. Sally wasn't my favorite person at the moment. I wondered if Jill's friend really understood what could happen? It was not like Sally attracted the kind of attention Jill did, and of course Sally was not married and therefore she was free to do whatever she wished.

But were my actions of not coming forward fair. "Yes" I thought, Jill would know when to stop. I prayed she would. But I was so confused, she had already gone further then I felt I could stand. Further than I would have believed my wife and the mother of Jake Junior would ever go. But as far a she knew she was "alone with friends and her husband was still in Boston. Did she consider herself free, like Sally?"

It became evident that Hector was not limiting himself to rubbing his wife's shoulders and neck... his hands explored below the water and everyone could tell he was cupping his wife's magnificent breasts. "Hmmm, that feels good the blonde mewed as she passed the joint to the man sitting behind Sally. Barbie sat up a little straighter allowing her torpedo like breasts to come into view. They looked like the bow of twin submarines breaking the surface of the water. Hector simply continued his ministrations of the large tits. His strong brown hands cupping, massaging the breasts, while thumbing the hard pink nipples. Not to be left out soon all three men were running their hands down the front of each of the women. They stayed below the water, but what was being caressed was not in doubt.

"Woooweee", Sally exclaimed, as she looked at Juan rubbing Jill's chest under the water... Jill ignored her and because of the combination of alcohol and pot, seemed to sink lower in the water. But she didn't stop Juan from fondling her through her suit. The hot water seemed to completely relax everyone, and for a few minutes nothing but the gurgling water could be heard.

Finally Jill said, "I am crashing, I have to get out of this hot water."

"Yeah Jill," I thought, "get out, get back to your room. Get away from them. Think of me."

Jill stood unsteadily, resting her hand on Juan's shoulder for support. Once she was up, Juan stood and helped her out of the tub. He quickly bent over to his brother and whispered something in his ear. Hector nodded and kissed his wife's head. Turning back to Jill, Juan picked up both his and her clothes, then placing his arm around her waist to keep her steady he walked with her leaning against him across the now deserted open area towards the resort's cottage rooms.

Half way to the rooms they stopped. Juan fished in a small pocket in Jill's shirt and pulled out the lectronic key card. Then he whispered in her ear. I could see her lift her head from his chest, raise her arm and point to one of the rooms.

It had a door that opened on the beach area as well as into the hallway on the other side. Reaching what I knew had to be what should have been Jill's and my room, Juan deftly slipped the key card into the French door's lock.

"OK Jill, please say goodnight," I begged. "Say goodnight to him and .... and......"

A soft light switched on in her room, and I could see both bodies standing there in the doorway, profiled in the light. He bent down and kissed my wife....she took one of his hands and pulled him into the room, while his other gently pushed the door shut behind them.

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