Layers Ch. 06

"They're moving the date of Josh's case up." Stephen's voice is incredibly strained. He has this vein near his right temple that's all puffed out. Straining to hold himself back. "I need to meet with him now." Elaine is practically panting. Not touching herself but wanting to so bad. Both of us are incredibly aroused and it's permeating the room with our scent. Bitches in heat. Stephen's eyes are pleading now. "Please." He says. To me.

For a moment I think he's begging for sex but I walk my memory and realize he's talking about his work stuff. I stand and move to the other side of the kitchen. I try to talk but I can't so I just nod my head and look away. I nod again when he asks if he can borrow some of my clothes. I have to pry open the tiny kitchen window before I drive myself mad. I feel what Stephen was talking about. This thing in the back of my mind. This wolf. Padding. Growling. Wanting. I can feel it almost as a physical presence. I take a deep whiff of the cold, wet outside air to try to settle myself. It does the trick - I thought Stephen's scent was sometimes chaotic but the outside is insane. Harsh on my nose. It actually makes my eyes water a tiny bit. Elaine whines in a nearly dog-like noise that (looking over at her briefly) she doesn't even notice she's doing. But, she's calming down and that's fucking awesome because if we start, that's that. Nobody will leave for hours.

Stephen in my clothes is amusing. I'm actually surprised he can walk in them. "My balls hurts." He informs me in his best dead-eye Serious Lawyer face.

I glare at him. "Don't blame me with you coming in here all ... dick swinging and stuff. It does stuff to me. To this body. To me. Goddammit, all right. To me." I'm blushing. I feel stupid and I'm blushing. Worry and shame and pain immediately comes from both of them. "Argh! Stop it! I'm not mad at either of you! I'm just - it's taking some getting used to. I was straight, dammit. And, no, I'm not complaining. At all. I'll get over it." What I don't tell them is that I almost said "with you coming in here all sexy-like" instead. For some reason, that does bother me. With everything that I've done so far, the immediate thought of looking at a naked man and thinking "That's fucking sexy" bothers me. It's stupid but it's there. The physical desires are one thing but mentally thinking a naked man is flat-out sexy is completely different territory. My heart is beating too fast. Fucking stupid sunava....

"I have to go." He tells me. ME. Not Elaine. I don't even catch a whiff of jealousy from her. Or hurt. Business as usually. He doesn't move.

"I... Stephen. Seriously. You don't have to ask my permission for everything." My heart is still racing from earlier. My cheeks feel like they're on fire.

"But, see, I actually do have to ask. You don't get it, do you? You don't know what it's like for me. Or for Elaine. It's not so easy, sweatheart..." I growl. I feel my lips pull back and my very human ears twitch. My teeth are bared. Elaine is immediately stressed and angry. At Stephen. "... fuck. Fuck! I'm sorry. I'm... dammit. I have to go. I'm sorry." Elaine goes to him to kiss him goodbye. I feel myself calm in increments. Heartbeat by rough heartbeat. He looks at me. Why? What does he want? I told him to go. He takes a half-step towards me but I see his nose flare and he stops. And turns. And leaves.

Elaine comes to me and hugs me. Her own heart is hammering in her chest. I hear the front door open and then close. The top of Elaine's head comes to just below my chin and she's rubbing it against my slowly. "He's slow sometimes. I'm sorry. Please don't be mad. Please."

"I'm not. Elaine, I'm not mad at him. Well, a little but I'm more mad at myself. This whole thing is ... backwards. For me. It's new and different and backwards. I was a man yesterday. Briefly. A straight man. Mostly straight? Still straight? Dammit. It'll be okay, little one." As soon as I say that, Elaine whimpers and hugs me tighter. I feel her calm almost as if I nuzzled her. These little triggers are odd. "We need clothes. There's some sun through those clouds. Why don't we find something that fits and go out?"

Elaine sniffs and nods and we both scrounge for clothes. My old man-clothes (hah) still kind of work for me but Elaine looks like a child in them. We play dress up for a little bit and laugh at each other before finally finding something that works for her - a set of the clothes she brought for me. They're still too large for her but at least they aren't terrible.

We're still laughing when we step outside but then I stop. It's the first time I'm going outside as a woman. As a complete, actual woman. In men's clothing. That's kind of funny in a way. I feel Elaine's hand on my back, rubbing in a small circle. "You're beautiful," she tells me. Yeah. I do love her.

I have to adjust the seat in the car to make it work. And the rear-view mirror. The seatbelt is new and different. I try that in different positions before just leaving it and ignore the way it feels on my bra-less chest. Elaine is very much NOT looking at me right now. And, god, my hair! It's all... hair-like! I keep hooking it behind my ear and it's annoying the fuck out of me. Great. Now Elaine is laughing. Great. Do I get a hairband? ... thing? Pony tail? Oh my god. Braids? Can I braid my hair? Well, not me obviously but someone? Elaine? I suddenly get this surreal mental image of Elaine sitting behind me braiding my hair and it does this weird butterfly-y thing to my stomach. Elaine is clutching her stomach, tears rolling down her cheeks as she laughs at me. I punch her in the arm but she just keeps laughing. I take back the comment about loving her. Bitch.

We go.

After she calms down, I ask about the Josh guy. "It's a sad case, actually. Single father. The mother left when the baby was young. Ummm... how old again? I think the daughter's 16 now? Vanished. Gone. Police think the dad did it. He was laid off of work a couple months back and neighbors saw them arguing all the time. Then she leaves one night and never comes back. The dad was out drinking and can't remember anything. Stephen knew him when they were kids so he's trying to help him out. That's about all I know."

"Does it ever bother you?" I ask. "To hear this stuff? The things he works on some times?"

"Yeah. Yeah, it does. Him more than me. He's tough but the kid stuff always gets him. That's where I come in all happy and smiley and bouncy. But, it hurts to see him like that." My hand finds her knee and I squeeze gently. Her smaller hand covers mine and the rest of the ride is quiet.

I expect Elaine to be disappointed when we pull up to the thrift store but I'm pleasantly surprised when she tells me she loves this particular branch. Stephen does really well financially but apparently thrift stores have amazing clothes sometimes. I'm praying that by "amazing" she doesn't mean leopard print. I'm nearly at the door when I stop and look up sharply. Across the street. "Elaine," I ask. "Do you smell that?"

She looks at me and then closes her eyes to sniff. "No. What is it?"

I nod carefully to the two young men across the street. Young. Late teens, early twenties. Smoking cigarettes and laughing about something a guy named Frank said. Dressed in black with ragged, baggy clothes. "They smell like us, Elaine. Wolves."