Layers Ch. 10

I often sit and cry. The loss of either things - being a woman or a werewolf would've been an enormous blow but, both of them together is crushing. Stephen has had the front door of my house repaired and has been paying for my rent. He also went to my work place as my "legal representative" and informed them of the terrible accident I was involved in that led to Scott's location. I'm somehow a minor hero because Stephen spun a tale to his cop friend that I saw Scott assaulting Heather. I guess I got out and tried to stop him and was beaten within an inch of my life. Heather backed up the story completely - even conveniently leading them to Scott's warehouse. The story goes that she woke up in the warehouse and escaped, making her way into town until Scott found her again. And then I found both of them. It's all very neat. I'm told my boss is holding my job for as long as I need.

I still feel the pull of Stephen and Elaine. I still feel their pull as if I were their Alpha. And, they still feel my pull. After a month and a half in bed, I begged Elaine to have sex with me. Not because I wanted her but because I wanted to see if it would turn me back into a werewolf. Yes, I think she's beautiful but that's not what I wanted. I want the wolf back. I yelled at her when she said no. I thought of using the pull I still have in order to make her do it but I couldn't bring myself to go that far. The next day, she came back with a syringe full of her blood. Tyler said that if there was nearly a foolproof way of doing it, it was injecting pure, fresh werewolf blood.

It didn't work. Stephen tried the next day and that didn't work, either. Even Tyler tried. Nothing worked. I felt nothing and they smelled nothing on me. Just a pure human. Tyler says he's never seen anything like it. He says I should've either changed or died trying by this point. He could see it failing with one try but not with three separate werewolves trying. Especially not a pure blood.

I'm trying to get better so I can leave. I don't think I can handle being around them anymore. Not with who they are. Not still feeling that pull but still being just a man. Not with them having the life I wanted. I don't think I can do it.

On a particularly bad night, Stephen visited. I hadn't left the room in three days and I ignored Elaine when she tried to talk to me. So, in walks Stephen and he sits and he just looks quietly at me. I can't look him in the eye. I can't. Not him.

"I know, you know," he says. My heart skips several beats. "I remember that part of it. I remember hearing Thomas talking to you. Tyler says you just kneeled down and let it happen but I know what happened. I could smell what you were thinking. I could smell the emotions cycling through you. I know you hesitated."

I feel the shame burning deep inside of me and I wondered if I would be well enough to just leave that night. "So why are you letting me stay here," I ask. "Why haven't you kicked my ass to the curb? If I had left, you all would've died."

Stephen nods. "Yes, we would've. And I know how close you came to making that call. Look at me."

"I can't," I tell him.

"Look at me, goddamn you!"

I have never heard that much anger in Stephen's voice. I have never heard him like that. Not Stephen. It shocks me enough that I look at him. Against my will. And then I can't seem to look away.

"You had an amazing gift. You had something you always wanted and something you never even knew you wanted and it changed who you were. It made you better. It made you into something incredible. It made you rethink who you were. And, in one single moment when faced with a decision that would take all of that away, you wavered. You took it all in and looked at all the sides and you paused. Should I hate you for that? Should I hate you because you thought for one second that maybe you could just walk away and let us die? No. No, goddammit. I admire you more for it. Because you looked at it and you didn't just take the knee-jerk easy hero way out. You didn't just say 'Of course I'll give it up because I'm the good guy!' You're flawed and you're human and you still looked at your choices and decided to give it up. Do you understand what I'm telling you?"

I shake my head, hypnotized by his passion.

"You... you honestly weighed our lives against yours and you still gave yours up. You could've died and you still did it. Knowing that the best option you could have was to lose all of the wonderful gifts you were given and possibly live. That simply living would be the best case scenario. You..." Stephen's eyes are suddenly watering and red. "You kept your promise to me."

I'm crying now. I can't help it. I'm balling in front of this man because I thought he would hate me. Because I thought I would lose them both. Because I thought I could do without them, that I could walk away in front of Thomas or I could walk away right now and that I would be okay without them. I can't. Now, hearing all of this, I can't walk away. I don't notice when Stephen wraps his arms around me. He's sitting behind me now with his arms around me. He's so warm. For a little while there, I'd forgotten what it was like to be cold and then, as a human, I was rudely reminded. But Stephen is so warm around me. Holding me and gently rocking me. So strong and warm. I'm shaking from trying to hold the tears in and it hurts my chest and stomach but, above all of that, I hear him starting a simple song. Humming gently to me. Slowly, the tears stop and I just let everything go and relax in his arms. His heartbeat is strong and steady behind me.

His humming stops and his voice is a whisper. "Please," he tells me. "Please don't leave us now." I feel his hand on my cheek and I nuzzle against it and it feels right. Slowly, I turn in his lap and look at him. Those same eyes from that night. The same eyes just watching me, waiting to see which way I would go. Not giving me a hint of what he thinks I should do. My beautiful Stephen.

Slowly, I lean forward and kiss him. Lightly, on the lips. As a man. No, as a person loving my mate. This is not a man in front of me. This is a soul that I have come to love. I feel no repulsion from him. I feel no hesitation or disgust. I just feel the scratch of his five o'clock shadow and his lips as they open for me.

Stephen pulls back and runs his thumb along my chin. "I love you."

The tears are threatening to come back so I lay my forehead against his chest and breathe in his smell as deeply as I can. When I'm calm again, I whisper the words back to him. "I love you, too."

That night, Stephen and Elaine joined me in bed and it is the first night I slept without dreaming of red pain or Thomas.

Over the next several months, we rediscover each other. Slowly. As mates. As a man, I never thought I would love the touch of another man but I find, unsurprisingly, that Stephen is exactly who he was when I was a woman. His touch still fills me with desire for him. I catch myself staring at his crotch quite a few times, remembering what it felt like in my mouth. Remember the taste of him. Remembering the way he would groan and hold me when I sucked on him.

He still makes those noises. I was nervous the first time I touched his penis again. Even with the kisses we'd been sharing lately, I worried that I was crossing a line. I thought he wouldn't want it. But I could feel the need building in me now that I was healing. The ache deep in my balls that tells me how wound up I am. And so, one night with all three of us on the couch watching some random action movie, I put my hand on his thigh. When he didn't flinch, I slowly moved my hand to his pants and rubbed him lightly. He was hard in a minute and growling from my touch. I felt Elaine scoot away to the side but my thoughts were far away from her. Stephen... my mate... was here. And while I no longer had a pussy for him, I had other ways to please him and I ached for his touch. So, I rubbed him a little harder. When he didn't stop me, I reached my hands into his pants to touch his cock.

I'd forgotten. I'd forgotten how warm it was. The head of his dick is quite pointed these days and, reaching down, it felt like he had a golf ball sized knot just above his balls. Perhaps a little smaller than that but it was definitely there. His foreskin is nearly a sheath around the knot and his length. I'd say he was thicker than before but I was a different person then and my measurements might be off. The head of his cock easily clears the top of his pants and I can tell it hurt to be restrained. So, I unzipped him, careful of catching skin in the zipper. I'm a guy. I know how that hurts. And then, I got to my knees in front of him. When I felt his finger under my chin, I resisted until he asked me gently to look at him.

His eyes were half golden and he looked down at me with lust in those golden eyes. His voice was gruffer and more gravely than it should've been. "You're beautiful," he told me.

I look back down and feel the heat rise to my cheeks. I am hard and aching for him. I feel the pulsing of my dick in time to my heartbeat and so I slip my hands into my pants to touch myself while I lean forward to Stephen's cock. His foreskin is slightly loose. I wrap my hand around his cock and gently pull the foreskin down and down further until it's touching his small, hard knot. And then I pull it down below the knot and let go. Unlike human foreskin, it stays in place beneath his knot. His skin was more smooth and pink than it should be as a human but that was okay. In fact, it was kind of hot. Old werewolf fantasies kicking in there. I lick up the length of him, holding him from the base of his cock, under his ball. I nibble on his knot to feel how hard it is and then gently lick up his shaft again. He is incredibly hard and, with my nose right there, I smell his pre-cum as it pools out of the tip of his huge cock. I look up at him and watch his eyes as I lick him clean. It's a major turn-on for me when a woman does it so I assume it's the same if a man does it. Memories of myself as a woman came back briefly but I put them aside. I'm me and I love this man. With his tip clean, I wrap my lips around his cock and gently work him over with my tongue.

I don't need to close my eyes and think of myself as a woman. I don't need to think anything different at all. All I need is to hear the low, quiet growling in Stephen's voice as I slowly and carefully find how far I can take him into my mouth. Which, sadly, isn't very far. My gag reflex is different as a man than as a woman and he's huge so when I feel the wolf-like tip near the back of my throat, I'm done. Gagging is not sexy. I pull back and, rather than trying to force it, I just suck on the top of him. Back and forth, holding my mouth open just enough that my teeth don't touch him. My jaw is starting to ache but I try to ignore it. I don't want to stop yet. Not yet. I want to taste his cum again. Just the thought of it makes me rub myself harder. I should've unzipped my pants but I'm not going to take a break to do it. God. His smell is driving me wild. I start pumping his cock faster with my hand while swirling my tongue around his smooth, tapered head. Faster and faster. My jaw really hurts now and it's hard to ignore the pain but I suddenly feel Stephen's hand gripping my hair. He's grunting and I feel him tense. Shit. Shit. I forgot how-

The sudden flood of Stephen's cum makes me choke. He feels it happening and tries to pull me off but I grip him tighter and try to relax my throat. He's warm and salty and thick and there's so fucking much of it. I try to swallow every time he tenses and that helps. My own orgasm takes me by surprise because I'd simply forgotten about it. I'm still stroking myself reflexively and I just feel the sudden release and a spurt of cum that hits my shirt. My dick swells a second time and then I'm done. Stephen tenses once more but I don't feel anything hit the back of my throat. I pull back but not before lightly rubbing the very tip of him with my tongue. It takes a lot of willpower to do it but I look up at him shyly. His face is flushed and his canine teeth are more pronounced. He's looking at me with... with... love. And happiness. And lust. He runs his fingers through my short blond hair and I smile at him. The taste of his cum fills my whole mouth and it's just as amazing as I remembered.

There's a rustle on the other end of the couch and Elaine stands. She's got her red hair pulled back in a simple ponytail and she's blushing furiously. She's got pajama pants on (rocket ship pattern and weird green aliens, naturally) with one of Stephen's old t-shirts. "That," she says. "Was incredibly hot. If you two don't mind?" Elaine hooks her thumbs into her pants and eases them down. Becoming a werewolf has made her incredibly toned. She's still slim but the line of muscles in her thighs shift as she wriggles her ass playfully. She watches me closely while she does the same little show with her panda bear panties. Her lower stomach has a line of red hair from her trimmed pussy up to her belly button. I'd be surprised if she had an ounce of fat on her. Elaine twirls slowly for me as she pulls her shirt over her head. Her ass seems larger than when I first met her. Oh, and her hips, too. She's definitely filled out post-wolf.

I crawl-walk to her on my knees but she holds up a finger. "No. It's my turn." I stop and she goes to her hands and knees and crawls to me. Her eyes are locked on mine so I watch as flecks of gold appear in her eyes and then more and more until her eyes are a beautiful molten gold color. She gently places a hand on my chest and pushes me until I'm lying down. With a playful smirk, she tugs my pants and underwear completely off. A large part of me wants to hide my manhood but I stop myself before it happens. I have to move around to help her get my shirt off but we do and I'm naked and, well, lesser than when I was a woman. Just an average shaped man. Elaine lies above me and I feel the warmth of her radiating from her body. Her kiss is sudden and sweet and intense and I prick myself on her too-sharp teeth. She's purring deep in her throat as our tongues twine around each other. My hands reach for her back and I knead my fingers into her flesh. She flexes back at me and then lowers herself, pressing her wet sex against my semi-hard cock.

Elaine breaks the kiss and then moves her head down to nuzzle at my neck. I feel a sharp pinch and then a quiet 'sorry' as she nibbles me. Slowly, rhythmically she pushes her hips down, back, up and forward. I can feel myself growing completely hard under her ministrations and she growls her approval. My fingertips feel fine hairs along her back and I wonder if that's new or if I just haven't noticed them before. Holding herself up with one hand, Elaine reaches back to grab my cock. She rubs herself against the head of it and then slowly eases herself down, hissing out in appreciation as her tight pussy eagerly grips my length. With my time as a woman and the months spent resting and healing, I'd forgotten what it was like to have a dick again. I'd forgotten how it felt to press into a woman and feel the depth of her. I'd forgotten the slippery heat of a woman riled up. Elaine's modest chest is in perfect position for me to lean forward and take a nipple in my mouth so, with care for my still aching body, I do. She's slightly salty from a light sheen of sweat but she moans and shudders as I suck and bite at her. I remember how I liked my nipples played with and I try to alternate between lightly rubbing around her erect nipple with my tongue and biting and pulling at it with my teeth. I swear I feel her breast grow larger as I suck at her. My body finally tells me I've strained too much too soon so I lie back down. Elaine goes to her knees above me.

Her breasts are slightly larger than just a moment ago and the hair around her pussy is thicker. Her four canine teeth are protruding from her mouth and there is a slight bit of drool at the corner of her lips. She's working her ass back and forth, up and down as she rides me. I see the tell-tale signs of her wolf's nipples growing - six darkening circles that pucker and pull and twist and push out around small areola and then out again into small breasts. The happy trail is extending up her belly and between her breasts as she growls and grunts through the small changes. Elaine's left hand touches her bottom tit and she tweaks it with her clawed fingers. With her other hand, she presses the hard black padding under her index finger against her clit. I'm momentarily jealous of her because I definitely remember what that feels like. Her growls are deepening and her fingers are jerking harder against her breasts and clit. Her previously smooth rhythm falters now and again from the multiple sensations.

Elaine falls forwards to her hands, claws digging into the thick carpeting around us. She's no longer gentle. No longer slow. Her ass is pounding me up and down and it's almost painful. Painful but amazing as I feel her pussy tighten. Her breathing is ragged and I know what's about to happen. Her orgasm makes her throw her head back into a silent howl. I grab her ass as she shakes from the shock of it and I pull her down hard as I push up. She's gasping now. Growling, nuzzling my neck. She lies down on me and I feel all eight of her breasts and the fur along her belly as I use my hands to work her hips up and down on my cock. I'm aching from my last orgasm and it almost feels like I won't cum a second time but Elaine bites my neck hard and I suddenly feel myself almost there. I yell out in pain and slam her down hard and I feel the head of my dick hit something deep inside of her pussy. And then, we're both cumming. Elaine has her teeth in my neck and I feel the inside of her clenching over and over against my cock, milking me for the last bits of my cum.

She's fucking heavy. Elaine is half transformed and laying against me, breathing hard. I want her to move but I don't want her to leave. I don't notice when her changes reverse but when I feel her hand against my chest, it's just a hand. I can barely feel the rough padding on the bottom of her palm as it fades away to wherever the changes go when they turn human.

I feel my face burn at a sudden thought and I almost don't say anything. Almost. But I want to and so I force it out. "Stephen," I begin. I certainly am not looking at him when I say it. "Do you... do you think we could try it from behind some time? Gently?" He doesn't answer at first and I have my eyes closed because I'm embarrassed as hell. I suddenly feel his presence next to me and then his lips brush mine as his large hand touches my dick. I jerk from the unexpected touch.

"Yeah," he says. "Yeah, I think we should. And then one of these days I'll go to my hands and knees for my mate." He kisses me again and ten minutes later we all end up in the bed, giggling and laughing and loving each other.

A pigeon knocks on our door a week later. We were just starting to settle into a routine when Elaine hears a quiet pecking at the front door. She opens the door and looks confused for a moment before looking down to see a small gray and white pigeon with a tube tied to its leg. "Awww," she whines. "Why couldn't it be a rabbit or a squirrel again?" Elaine holds the utterly docile bird and carefully unties the tube. When she does, the pigeon's eyes go suddenly wild and it struggles in her hand. She sighs and tosses it outside and then brings me the note.

The message is short: "The skin no longer works." I don't know whether to be happy or sad or indifferent. No, that's a lie. It hurts to be reminded of what happened and what I lost. It hurts a lot. I ghost through the rest of the day and the next before I remind myself that it doesn't matter anymore. Elaine and Stephen and I share a powerful bond still and we're all learning exactly what that means and who we are. I've learned so much and grown so much that I can't be anything but thankful for the experience.