Learning to Love Myself Ch. 01

I looked at the clock after a while and was amazed to see that only 45 minutes had passed since dinner and my conversation with Mom. I felt like I'd been on the bed for hours. That meant that I still had time to go for my late swim.

I forced myself up, staggered around, gathered my gear, stashed the vibrator in a suitable hiding spot in the bottom of my underwear drawer, hid the packaging it came in, and threw on some clothes to go to the pool. As I left I passed Mom sitting in her chair reading a book.

She looked up and I mouthed "THANK YOU!" to her as I passed. She just winked and blew me a kiss.

****

The swim that night was completely invigorating, and I made myself cum again in the locker room shower afterward. It was just with my fingers, but just because I had a new toy didn't mean that the manual ways were any less pleasurable or effective.

If anything the addition of the vibrator, with which I quickly became an expert, only furthered my addiction to masturbating. I couldn't see how it was hurting anything, so I didn't bother to check it. I followed Dr. Lester's advice and always stopped when I was sore and never touched myself with anything dangerous or dirty.

I did become increasingly creative and reckless though. I drove to work a number of times with my vibrator buzzing inside me the whole way. I also began to regularly make myself cum in the locker room shower after my nightly swims.

I found out that I could fit a medium sized cucumber in my pussy (washed before and after of course). I found out that I don't like havinganything penetrate my ass, but I had to try at least once.

I masturbated while talking on the phone. I masturbated in my sleep.

I made myself cum in the bathroom at work on many occasions, also the receptionist's desk and my boss's office chair once just for the thrill. It was stupidly risky, but fortunately I knew where the security cameras were.

I regularly sneaked off to my car at lunch and fingered myself or used my vibe. I came in dressing rooms at the mall. I came in an examining room while waiting for the physician. I came in the back seat of my parents' car on the long trip to the big state college orientation (that was scary reckless).

I was one mad masturbating girl!

*****

I was due to leave for college in three weeks, so for fun I established a "countdown of cum", during which I wanted to masturbate in a few very specific places before I left town. I didn't know when or if I would ever really return home other than to visit, so I wanted to "say my goodbyes" so to speak.

Some of my ideas were silly. For example, I went out early one morning and vibed myself to six orgasms on the fifty yard line of my old high-school football field and then one more in the endzone for the "extra point". There were numerous silly things like this.

One goal, however, proved to be a challenge. One night after my late swim I sneaked into the men's locker room at the pool and scouted around. I found a locker all the way down at the far end of the locker wall, from which you could see into the shower and the rest of the changing area. I examined the latch and verified that I could work it from the inside -- check one. Then I verified that I could hold the latch closed from the inside -- check two. I climbed inside and verified that I could fit fully inside and get the door closed -- check three. Lastly I peered out the vent slats in the door and verified that I could see into the shower (mostly) and the changing area (entirely) -- final check. It was a little claustrophobic inside, but there was enough room to squat down and brace myself into the space.

As Montgomery Burns onThe Simpsons would say, "Exxxcellent." I'm sure you can see where this is going.

*****

The following day I went to the pool early and sure enough there were other people there. Training swimmers tend to come and go in waves (no pun intended), so I swam until there was a significant gap in the number of people arriving, and everyone I knew to be in the building was already in the pool.

I got out, dried off, and made my way back to the locker rooms -- dodging at the last possible second into the men's room rather than my own. I listened carefully, but there was no sound within. I quickly and quietly dashed to the end locker I had scouted out, and fortunately nobody was using it. I wrapped my towel over my shoulders, climbed in, and clamped the latch shut from the inside with a small C-clamp I had hidden in the front of my suit. Don't ask where it was stashed -- I think you can guess. Then I just settled in and waited.

After about ten minutes, two significant flaws in my plan became apparent. I had no idea how long it would be before anybody came in, and I started to need to go to the bathroom. Five minutes later I was ready to give up and climb out, but then I heard voices coming into the changing area. Three guys from the local community college walked in, wet from the pool. They were vaguely familiar, but none of them were the guy I had punched. My heart started to pound, because I knew that they had comefrom the pool. That meant that they would probably shower and change instead of just the latter.

It turned out I didn't have long to wait. Almost as soon as the guys came in they peeled off their tiny little swimsuits. They were facing away from me while they gathered their shower materials, so my first voyeuristic thrill was of three really tight asses.

I grinned alone in my dark locker and snaked my hand down my body to my pussy. I pulled aside the crotch of my swimsuit and began to lightly massage myself in anticipation.

Then, as one, all three guys turned around and I saw the first penises I had ever seen in real life. To be brutally honest, I was terribly disappointed. They were all really small and shriveled looking -- not impressive at all or very sexy looking for that matter. With the benefit of hindsight, I know that they were like that from just spending an hour or so in a fairly cold swimming pool and tight swimsuits. At time though, it was enough to make me pause on my pussy and frown in disappointment. I had seen male genitals before on late-night satellite TV, and these guys didn't look like that.

Still the guys were well-built otherwise, and they did have those tight asses. I shrugged to myself and resumed masturbating. Then I had to stifle a moment's panic as they all started walking right toward my locker. Of course they would have to pass directly in front of it to get into the shower, but I was so nervous that I almost squeaked in fear.

They walked right by me completely unaware thankfully, and I was treated with a close-up look at their packages. I noticed as they walked that they seemed to be loosening up a bit since they were freed from their swimsuits. Maybe there was hope for a better show after all.

I quickened my fingers as they turned on three adjacent showers within my field of view and stepped into the warm spray. It was mesmerizing watching the water and soap cascade off their tight bodies. Also, much to my delight, they all grew substantially larger in the hot water and careful washing they performed. Shortly they were all hanging much more impressively, and I was much hotter and wetter myself. "Yeah," I thought to myself, "that's what a cock and balls are supposed to look like."

The three guys were chatting non-stop, but I was so consumed with ogling their sex equipment and rubbing my own that I had tuned out their conversation completely. I did stop and listen when I caught that one of them said "Moses", though.

"Aw c'mon!" said the guy at the shower head closest to me. "Don't talk about her. You know what that does to me!"

The guy at the farthest shower head responded, "All I said was that it had been a while since we'd seen her hot body here. I missed those tits!"

"I'd love to see a lot more of them!" said the guy in the middle. "I'd especially like to see them wrapped around my dick!" he continued and mimed holding something with his hands and thrusting his hips.

"Yeah, you do that, and I'll nail her from behind!" said the farthest guy, and mimed like he was riding a horse. "She is some hot piece of ass!"

My face burned, but I wasn't angry. It felt really weird to talked about (albeit crude locker room talk) as a sexual person, even more so as an object of lust. I wasn't sure how to feel about it, but at that moment my face wasn't the only thing that was burning. I was really working on my pussy and watching what was happening to the guy closest to me.

"C'mon guys!" he said. "You're making me embarrass myself." He pointed at his cock, which was standing stiffly at attention. I had not seen it rise, but it stood out big and proud now, and the water danced off its length.

The other two guys laughed and the one in the middle said, "We're just hackin' on ya. We know she gets to you, man."

The far guy added in, "Yeah, besides you don't have anything to be embarrassed about with that big pussy poker you've got. I'm not so lucky." He pointed at his own cock, which was in the midst of hardening. It wasn't as big as the one closest to me, but it was fascinating to watch it grow and distend.

"Aw hell," said the guy in the middle. He lathered his hands with soap and started stroking his own cock. It quickly hardened as well, and as he rinsed the soap off I saw that it looked pretty much like the far guy's. "There," middle guy said to the close guy, "yours is biggest. You happy now?"

"Not until I whack off tonight thinking about Moses," the closest guy laughed. "I can't stop thinking about how fuckable she is. Those tits are just incredible. Of course if she heard me say that, she'd probably punch my teeth out the back of my head."

"Yeah!" said the far guy, "she's a tough girl all right."

They all laughed and finished their showers, but I noticed that their cocks stayed hard the whole time. Meanwhile I was biting my lip and trying not to cum as I furiously rubbed my clit and pumped my fingers in and out of my wet pussy.

I was fortunate that the guy closest to me dried off almost right in front my locker and pulled on his cock a few times when he thought the other guys weren't looking. I was certainly looking though. Until that night I had never even seen a real cock, but now a big one (by all accounts) was less than ten feet away, pointed at straight at me, and being surreptitiously masturbated.

I loved the way his balls swung when he pulled on it. The head of it was swollen and red and seemed to beat with a pulse. Suddenly, and with great effort to remain silent, I came hard on my hand as I fixated on this stranger's beautiful cock. The locker was filled with the scent of my pussy, and seemed unbearably hot and close on my body. I dared not make a sound though.

Finally the three guys squeezed their bodies back into regular clothes and left the locker room. I listened for a couple minutes and then released myself from my locker. I left the locker room area as quickly and unobtrusively as I could, but the pool was deserted except for one other girl who was still swimming laps.

I dashed back into the women's room to pee since I still had to. Then I jumped back into the pool and pushed myself through a few laps as well. By the time I finished, I was alone.

I had another long, slow, wonderful masturbation session in the shower, but not before I checked all the lockers. I was just paranoid enough to believe that I needed to. It wasn't enough to make me keep my fingers out of myself, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I was being watched. I had spooked myself with my own voyeurism.

It was extremely stimulating to think that the guy with the biggest cock might be at home right now pumping it in his fist and thinking of me, as I worked my fingers into myself and though of him. It was just what I wanted from that experience. Two weeks to go and I'd be off at school exploring even more opportunity.

***** I spent the rest of those two weeks winding up my crap summer job, packing my stuff for college, and checking the last few items off my countdown of cum. That included straddling and humping a bedpost in our guest bedroom. I don't recommend that by the way. It was way too big for me to have tried to fit it inside myself.

It also included fully inserting a cucumber in my pussy... in the grocery store... and putting it back in the bin. I know it sounds nasty, but it was a great thrill. I won't go into details on how I did it, but it makes you wonder where the food thatyou buy has been doesn't it?

Other than that, I kept up my nightly swims and masturbation in the locker room shower. I never repeated my locker stunt though. As exciting as it was, I was too scared to try my luck a second time.

*****

The night before I left for school, I walked out of the shower room for what I imagined would be the last time for a long time and nearly tripped over a naked girl sitting on the tile in the shower entrance. I nearly jumped out of my skin! It took me a second to overcome my shock, but I recognized her as one of the swim camp instructors from the community college.

She was about as tall as I am, much smaller breasts, short hair, and apparently shaved all over. The reason I noticed this last fact in particular was that she had two fingers buried in her shaved pussy. It looked for all the world like I had just stumbled on her as she had an orgasm.

"Who the hell are you?" I demanded.

"I'm Jodi," she gasped, completely flushed and breathing hard.

"How long have you been there? Were you watching me?"

"I've been here every night for two weeks, and I can't get enough of watching you," she said softly, beginning to catch her breath but no losing her flush. "I came out from using one of the stalls that first night and saw you touching yourself in the shower. It... it made me touch myself too. I couldn't help it."

We just stared at each other silently for a long moment. She slowly relaxed her fingers and withdrew them from her pussy with a small wet pop.

So someonehad been watching me. I stared at her pussy for several seconds. It looked like it was still clenching from her orgasm. I could see the wetness on her lips and the pulsing of her bare clit from where I stood. She looked absolutely amazing.

"I'm going away... to college... for a while," I stammered at her, not knowing why. Even though I had just cum for the second time in as many hours and probably the fifth time that day, I was embarrassed to find the blood rushing to my clit and my nipples tightening up.

"I know," she said, with her eyes fixed on my body. "I'll miss you. I just wanted to say that before you went. I...I just wanted you to see me too...see me touch myself."

"You're beautiful," was all I could say.

She looked like she wanted to reach out and touch my leg, but I lost my nerve. I dashed past her, threw on my clothes, and drove home without a backward look. It was time to get out of town.

To be continued...

*****

As usual, please vote here at the end if you like what you've just read and send me feedback if you are so inclined. I like to hear if people enjoy what I'm turning out. -- MR